This page is about me, and my life. Who I am, and how I became just that.
I was born a genetic Female at birth, and in all aspects, as I grew, I was Female. Except my brain was very Male. Now to a young kid, that didnt know much about the real world, this was scary. I would ask my parents (who had separated, but at the time were still talking) why I felt different. They would both tell me that 'Its a Phase' That i'll 'outgrow it'.
As I got older, I would argue about having to wear a t-shirt outside, or in the pool. I did this up until I was 12, and started to develope. Again I didnt understand why I was like this. I asked my parents again, and got the same answer. I let it go for the time being.
Now in Junior High, thats when I started getting concerned about being a 'Tomboy'. I would have to get changed in the locker room with other girls, but I was never comfortable doing so. After some time, I had stopped taking Gym Class all together. I would sit on the bleachers and watch the girls. It was like an intense staring. I had even felt like I liked a few of the girls as more then a friend.
I came to the conclusion that I was a Lesbian because I had no idea about Transgenders. I was scared to death to let my family know. They would always talk about gays and lesbians in a rude prejudiced manner. To try and cover it up. I tried to ignore my feelings and tried dating guys. That didnt work out to well, and it lead to my dropping out of school in 9th grade.
It wasnt til I moved from Levittown, Pennsylvania to Phoenix, Arizona. That I had been introducing myself on the internet as a Male. I dated one girl who was younger then me by a few years, and fell inlove with another. I was later dumped by the girl after she found out the truth, and one I fell inlove with passed away. I had never told her the truth, but in a goodbye letter, I found out that she felt the same about me.
My younger sister Paige had been trying to help me figure this out, because she had believed that I wasnt a lesbian because I was only attracted to straight woman. Searching the internet, she came accross the term 'Transgender' and she brought it to my attention. I was unsure at first, but as we talked about it, it started making sense.
It helped when I met my current girlfriend. Even though our relationship is rough, she was still there for me. The two boys really helped me too. We tried living closer to eachother, but found out I wasnt ready. She moved back to Tucson with the two boys til I was ready.
I was told by a close friend that I met through my mother, that she had a sister who was born as a genetic male, and that she knew of a way for me to get help. The same way her sister had done it. All I would need to do is change my medical to one that this doctor accepts or I would have to pay the upfront amount for all the surgeries. As of right now my goal is to raise the $400.00 co-pay I would need to get the surgeries started.
I then found out after trying to switch my medical that it was a big hassle, and that I would have to wait til May. As hard as it was to take, I'm ready to do just that....unless there is some kind of miracle between now and then. I'll just have to wait and see.
