Surrendering
Chapter 2: Meeting Connie
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January 17th
It’s January for crying out loud. Why is it more then twenty-five degrees outside? Right, they don’t have that degree here. They use Fahrenheit. I still haven’t learned how to convert that from Celsius. (1)
I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. If I was in a bitchy mood yesterday, it’s even worse today. But hey, it’s part of me to hide my true feelings. It’s just to put on another face and live it through. I always pretend to be someone I’m not. It’s easier that way.
Our first practice since we got together as one team, not counting the practices they had during the JGG.
Today was the day when the line-ups were announced along with the assigning of the captains-positions. I hoped that I wouldn’t be a backup. I wanted to play. I may pretend to not give a damn about anything, but I DO want to play. Badly.
I met the new girl Connie in the hallway when I left my room. I hadn’t talked to her or anybody else since that new coach told me that I’d been given a scholarship too. I’d been cheering on the inside, but kept cool to the rest of the world. This is how you lose friends; by ignoring everyone you meet. Besides, if anyone was ‘the new girl’, it was I...
Connie is a very pretty girl. Man, that bug me. I’m not pretty. I’m a dysfunctional human being that needs some serious therapy. Connie is not only pretty, she is beautiful too. Maybe that’s the same thing, I don’t know. The only one that’s ever told me I’m beautiful is Fred, and I know that he was lying. At least I think so.
As usual, I tried to avoid eye contact, so I wouldn’t have to talk to her. She must’ve been curious about what sort of person I was, because she went up to me anyway. I hate situations like that, when I have to act normal and be social. What to say, what to say?
“Hi, I’m Connie. You’re Cecilia, right?”
“Yeah,” I answered, forcing myself to smile at her. I have an ugly smile. But along with my hair, nails and the fact that I’m too thin, it’s a perfect fit.
“Charlie told me about you. You made quite an impression on him. He thought you were one of those reserved, quiet girls that he could impress on, but you really bit his head off. He admires that.”
“No, he don’t,” I said. “He thinks I’m annoying.”
“Well, yeah, but it’s still a good first impression,” Connie smiled at me. I hoped that she was kidding, because I didn’t want Charlie to be mad at me if I was going to be on the team. “I think it’s cool, though.”
“You do?” I sounded sincerely surprised. Someone thought my deed was ‘cool’? Wow, that hasn’t happened since I was in kinder garden and beat up that older guy who stole my Lego. My brother thought that was very ‘cool’.
“Yeah, if you’re supposed to be on an all boys team, you have to be tough. I’ve played with the Ducks since I was ten. How long have you played hockey?”
“Look,” I began. I didn’t want a conversation. I wanted space so I could be depressed. Ever since we got to L.A., I’ve been depressed. It’ll probably wear off in a couple of weeks. Hopefully.
But what was the point? If I shut everyone out now, I won’t have anyone to talk to in two weeks. And Connie seemed nice. I admire anyone who has the guts to talk to me when I show them my icy attitude. So, I changed my mind. Instead of biting Connie’s head off, I decided to behave so I wouldn’t be the hated one for the rest of my time on the team.
“Yeah?”
“I’ve been playing since I was four. But I started to play for a team last year,” I told her.
“You’re a ‘ponder’?” Okay, now she’d lost me completely.
“A what?” I asked sheepishly.
“A ponder. Someone who’s been playing all his or hers life, without having a team to play for. Before we became the Ducks, my friends and I used to play on this pond. That’s why I call it to be a ‘ponder’. Are you one?” (2)
She was giving me a bright smile while she said that. “No, I grew up beside the pond,” I answered. “My brothers taught me how to skate, when they weren’t tormenting me. I began to skate when I was four, learned the game of hockey when I was five and then I kept playing every time they flooded the skating rink every winter.”
“Well, you’re a great player. Not as good as Adam, but who is?”
Adam? Who was that? I knew that there was one player named Adam, but I had no idea which one he was. Connie saw my confused face.
“He’s the blonde one. You know, number 99. Haven’t you learned our names?”
“No, I’ve been busy... Unpacking.” That was a lie. I’m good at lying.
Connie seemed to accept that explanation. She shrugged and began walking towards the stairs. I closed my eyes and sighed. I’m bad with people.
“Are you coming, or what? Coach Bombay expects us all to be there in time.”
I didn’t realize she was talking to me at first. No one ever does. Sometimes I don’t even react if anyone calls out my name.
“Yeah, I’m coming.”
“I can tell you more about us, so you’ll know who’s who.”
She was being very nice to me. I’m not used to nice people. I myself am a bitter, sarcastic person. I’m not nice on the inside, even if I can pretend to be sometimes. Genuinely nice people surprise me. Why be upbeat when life itself sucks?
“You have brothers? I have brothers too. I have one older and one younger. Ben’s in college and Daniel is only a baby.”
“My brother’s are both in upper secondary school. They are annoying, but they look out for me. Not like I need it, they just do it anyway.” Was I actually sharing? My God, a late Christmas miracle.
“You have any younger brothers?”
Okay, that made me depressed again. Just thinking about that horrible creature made me lose my front for a minute. Luckily Connie doesn’t know me well enough to have realized that.
“Yeah, one.”
“You’re Swedish, right? Are you from Sweden originally?”
Bless her, she changed the subject. “I’m adopted. My real Mom and Dad are Swedes. My biological parents are from South America.” (3)
“You’re a Latina? You speak Spanish?”
Man, she was a talkative one. “A little. My parents made my brothers and I study Spanish when we were younger.”
“All I know about Spanish, I’ve learnt from ‘Fool’s Rush In’.” (4)
I couldn’t hold back my smile. I’d stumbled upon a genuine girl. A girly-girl. Well, not as girly as other girls, but far more girly then I.
“Shut up, it’s a great movie!” she exclaimed.
“Yeah, I bet.” I hadn’t seen ‘her’ movie, so how should I know? I’m brought up to like movies with lots of explosions and dead people. Not unlike my own life, actually.
“Well, I’ll show you some day when you’re done unpacking. Guy refuses to watch it with me anymore. He’s more into movies with a higher amount of dead people.”
“I don’t blame him,” I told her. I had no idea who Guy was either, but he sounded like a reasonable person.
“He’s my boyfriend,” Connie enlightened me. Good thing she told me, otherwise I wouldn’t have had a clue.
“How nice,” I said sarcastically. I had to see if she was one of those girls, which sarcasm have no effect on. There are two types. The ones who get my sarcasm and consider it as entertaining, and the ones who don’t get my sarcasm and think I’m being sincere when I’m not.
“Yeah,” she said cheerfully. “Nice for you too. About Fred, I mean.”
Oh, man. Everyone knew about Fred and I as well? He’s my soft spot. The only visible one, anyway.
“Yeah,” I imitated her. “Which way are we supposed to go anyway?”
If she hadn’t brought me with her, I would’ve been lost on my way to practice. I hadn’t really paid attention when we got directions from Muck yesterday. We got there early anyway. That was good, because I didn’t want everyone to stare at me when I entered.
I really am ridiculously intimidated by other people.
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Author’s
Notes: If it wasn’t
clear from the last fic, or if you haven’t read it, I can say this again. This
is an alternative universe; the Additional Ducks (Julie, Portman, Ken etc.)
never went to Eden Hall. When they play at the Junior Goodwill Games, the Ducks
are fifteen. The Owls and Swedes are fourteen.
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(1) The degrees in other countries but USA is measured in Celsius. 32°F is approxemetly 0°C, if I remember it correctly. That means that it’s 57°F outside...
(2) Remember the pond they
played on in D1? If you don’t, watch the movie again...
(Movie: The Mighty
Ducks/Champions, 1992)
(3) It’s never revealed from what country Cecilia’s from, that’s why she always answers ‘South America’ instead of the actual country. Why? Because I’ve decided so.
(4) ‘Fools Rush In’ is a
movie starring Matthew Perry and Salma Hayek, in which she gets pregnant after
one night with him, and they get married. Her family is from Mexico, so she’s speaking
Spanish too in the movie. It’s a romantic comedy, that’s why Cecilia’s acting
like she haven’t seen it.
(Movie: Fools Rush In, 1997)
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