Surrendering
Chapter
3: Compounded Ducks
(Un) Important babbling-notes from Cimmy: I hope you don’t get confused if I’ve managed to mess up the past and presence when I’m writing. Sometimes I’m really bad at knowing the difference. All my English teachers have pointed that out for years now. I’m great at confusing myself.
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January 18th
I’ve honestly never been so surprised in my whole pathetic little life. I’m the co-captain of the Ducks? This must be a very bad dream.
Our first practice was a short one. The new coach gathered us in the classroom next to the locker-room. I tried my best not to stick out too much, but Nish sold me out by shoving me into the door.
Not only have I got a pathetic life; I also have the ability to make a fool out of myself at all time. I’m the clumsiest person I know. I can loose my balance and fall just by walking from one spot to another. It’s very surprising that I can manage to stay on my feet on the ice. It’s safer for me to wear skates then it is to walk.
After Nish tripped me, I decided to hide somewhere, since I was too embarrassed to show myself to anyone. I’m glad I can’t blush. My face becomes warm as hell, but I don’t blush. Lucky me, my face would be constantly red if I could, as much as I embarrass myself all the time.
Fred found my hiding place. It wasn’t the best place to hide, behind Travis, but at least I’d tried.
Yesterday was the strangest day ever. Coach Bombay, the new coach, told us that he and Muck decided to give the captain spots to three persons from different teams. Funny, I thought, since there only were two teams.
I was the lucky third person. How the hell can anyone expect me to run a team? I can understand why Travis became co-captain, he was Owls’ former team captain, and Charlie is an obvious choice as the head captain. But me? Little me, who never says a word to anyone? I’m supposed to run a team with twenty-four players? I hope they don’t expect me to actually do something. Because I’m not going to.
What team has twenty-four stupid players anyway?
By the freaking way, Muck has put me in the first line-up too. I get to play with Travis, Nish and Fred. Charlie is the center. It’s funny, since we’ve never played together before.
They told me to meet them at some sort of diner, a couple of blocks away from the school. I used to work at a diner in New York, but I was sure that this was nothing like that dump. (1)
While I was walking there, I felt misplaced. Again. I’m always misplaced, wherever I go. Hopefully Fred would be there, so I wouldn’t seem like a complete loser. I don’t have any money so I can pay for anything, since my Dad doesn’t get paid until the end of the month. He gives me a hundred dollars per month. That’s not much, since I usually transfer half of it right into my Mom’s account. They don’t know that, but I’ve been doing it for years.
I gazed up at the sign on the building. The Rainbow Café, huh? Sounded like a happy place. Well, that was up until I got inside. (2)
“Hey, why are you standing here?”
I think I jumped twenty feet into the air. That’s a lot, but that’s how startled I got. I turned to face the person who’d scared me. It was a guy from the team. I don’t remember his name. Damn me and my memory.
“Sorry if I scared ya,” he said with an amused smile. “Second line?”
“Huh?” I’m rude, I told you already. Instead of being polite and say ‘excuse me?’, I always say ‘huh?’.
“Second line-up?”
“Oh. Yeah, I guess.” I had no idea what he was talking about, my brain don’t process words when I get startled. I couldn’t ask for his name, because that would be embarrassing. I’d been on the team for a week and still hadn’t bothered to learn their names. It couldn’t be anyone from my line-up anyway; the only stranger there is Charlie.
“What line are you in?” I asked. Man, I felt like a moron.
“You don’t know who the hell I am, do you?”
“Of course I do,” I answered with a snort. I had no idea. I’m very proud; I couldn’t let him know that I was a complete failure. “You’re... You’re... You’re him, you know, in that line. You know.”
I was making an ass out of myself, I was aware of that. He grinned at me and tried to stifle a laugh. “Yes, I’m him. And you’re her. I know your name, do you know my?”
I know the names; I just don’t know what face belongs to what person. By that point, I knew Connie, Charlie and that other girl Julie. That’s all. (3)
“Scott?” I guessed. He shook his head. “Jesse?” I continued. No, that wasn’t Jesse. I knew who Jesse was; Connie had actually introduced me to him. Damn my memory, damn it to hell.
“Adam?” Nope, still not right. “Ken? Derek?” No, Derek was from my team... Right...
“Want some help?” he asked me with a laugh. “Look, it’s okay, I don’t know everybody yet either. I’m not as bad as you are, but...”
I gave up. “Fine, who are you then?” I sighed.
He extended his hand and I took it, while waiting for an answer. “Nice to meet you, Cecilia. I’m Guy.”
Right, it was Connie’s boyfriend. Great, I’d managed to embarrass me in front of him too...
“Are you gonna stand there, or are you coming with me?”
Mostly I felt like sinking into the ground. Guy was still having a big grin on his face. “I promise not to tell anyone that you forgot my name.”
“Hey, I’m not that shallow,” I told him. “I was just wondering about...”
“About the fact that you talk a lot of crap?” he finished my sentence. “Well, you can talk yourself into anything you’d like, but I still think you’re embarrassed over the fact that...”
I didn’t wait for him to finish. Instead I went past him, up the stairs and in through the door to the diner. He was still right behind me, and I heard him chuckling to himself. Connie forgot to tell me that her boyfriend is annoying.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Thank God that Fred was there. He moved in so I could sit next to him. I was feeling really insecure again. I wish there was some medicine or something for that.
I tried my best to recognize the others by name. Charlie was there, Travis I knew of course, Nish I unfortunately knew too, and I remembered Jesse from yesterday. Guy, who’d been walking behind me all the way up to the booth, sat down next to Charlie.
“Hey, where have you been?” Fred asked me. I took a deep breath, trying to make my voice steady enough for talking. I knew everyone was looking at me. Like they even cared...
“We had a customized pop-quiz outside,” Guy said before I could answer. “She’s actually very entertaining when she’s trying to prove herself right.”
I could’ve choked him right then and there. Now everybody wanted me to explain, and I refused to say anything. My face became warm again. Fred must’ve noticed it, because he began to laugh.
“What have you gotten yourself into now, if I may ask?”
“Well, you may not,” I hissed at him. Don’t he know me at all? I never talk in front of people I don’t know. Fred just smiled and placed his arm around my shoulder.
“I bet it’s a great story, Cecilia.”
‘Well, I bet it’s not’, I was about to say. But I didn’t. Instead Nish interrupted us by knocking a pepper mill against the table.
“As much fun as this is,” he began, “I rather talk about something else then that crazy girl.”
“Hey, she’s not crazy,” Fred objected. “She’s just a little... strange.”
I shoved him in the stomach and he whined. “Plus she’s violent.”
“Well, tell me something else that’s not new,” Nish said. I’ve never wanted to give that guy a hug more then I did at that moment. Getting the spotlight away from me is the nicest thing anyone can do for me.
“Well, I feel neglected,” Charlie complained. “Aren’t you gonna greet me?”
He was looking directly at me, and I turned my head away. Avoid eye-contact at any cost, that’s my motto. It’s a stupid motto, but it’s better then my last one. ‘It won’t hurt as bad if you’re drunk.’
“Well, hello to you,” I said sarcastically. That’s all I can be among strangers. Sarcastic.
“You do know what his name is, right?” Guy teased me. I was almost about to throw a fork into his head, but I decided not to. Not a great way to start off in a new team.
“Yes,” I muttered slowly. “I’m not stupid.”
“Just a little,” Nish said under his breath, but I heard him anyway.
“Screw you,” I mumbled, loud enough for him to hear. Too bad everyone else heard it too.
Fred laughed. “Well, your manners have improved since we left Tamarack. Didn’t you use another comeback in Canada?”
“Well, we’re in a new country now, so I had to translate the last one. I’m upgrading myself,” I answered. Well, that sounded just stupid. This is why I never talk.
“So, you’re considering your brain as software, and therefore you’re upgrading yourself every once in a while?” Fred asked.
“After her last melt-down; that might be in use,” Nish shot back.
I was tired of the wisecracking. I couldn’t come up with anything more to say that was even remotely smart. I suck at comebacks.
After Fred had told Nish to ‘pipe down’ and Nish had answered with something clever, Charlie tried to get them back on track.
“Where are the others?” he asked. I had no idea, but I was pretty sure that the question wasn’t directed to me anyway.
“They’re unpacking,” Guy answered. “Connie is dividing all her stuff into piles. It’ll take a few days.”
“What’s with you girls anyway?” Charlie asked me. How the hell should I know? Do I look like a freaking clairvoyant?
I shrugged. I was done unpacking two days ago. I just tossed everything into the closet. Co-incidentally that’s how I clean too.
“It takes you forever to finish something, and when you’re finally done, you have to receive compliments for your good work.”
“Well, I don’t know what girls you’ve met, but we’re not all like that,” I objected.
Charlie looked rather unconvinced. “Whatever you say. I’m just speaking from my own experience.”
“Well, I bet all of those two girls were very alike,” I shot back. “You can’t have that much experience with girls, if you’re judging us all alike. Maybe you should be out looking for some normal girls, instead of sitting her and bitch about it?” Great, now I’d really said too much.
Charlie just gave me a pointed look. “Actually, I rather sit here and listen to you, trying to convince me in which ways girls are different. I bet you have no idea what you’re talking about.”
No, I never do, but I can fake. I’m good at that too.
“Do you?” I challenged. I usually don’t argue with people I’ve just met. Okay, I do, but not like this.
Charlie laughed. “I guess you got me there.”
While Nish pushed Travis out of his way to get out so he could buy some more french-fries, I leaned towards Fred.
“Tell me fast, who are they?” I whispered. Fred didn’t laugh at me this time. He took a firm grip of my face and turned it towards Guy.
“That’s Guy, next to him Charlie, then Jesse. On the other side are Adam, Fulton, Averman and Scott. The rest you know.”
I twitched. I hadn’t seen the ones at the table next to us. I hadn’t even bothered to look at them. So that was Adam? I remembered Averman from the last game against Iceland. He was the one who’d bugged the hell out of that blonde goalie Julie. I remembered the other two from the gathering from yesterday. (4)
I decided to play it cool. I didn’t want to embarrass myself even more then necessary. Travis smiled at me from across the table.
Thank God for the Owls. Although, I am a Duck now. I almost forgot that. Well, quack, quack, then...
Quack, freakin’ quack.
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(1) A little of this was explained in ‘Searching and Chasing’. (Yay me for losing that story...) Cecilia used to live in New York when she was younger, that’s what she’s referring to all the time.
(2) The Rainbow Café is the hangout place the Ducks go to all through the Series. It’s obvious later on that it’s NOT the happiest place on earth.
(3) Cecilia met Connie in the 2nd chapter, and even though she hadn’t met Julie in person, there’s only four girls on the team, and she already knows Sarah. Pretty easy to think why she would recognize Julie then.
(4) Of course Averman played
in all those other games during the tournament too, but Cecilia didn’t, so she
didn’t notice him until then...
(Fan Fiction: Reaching for the Stars, by Cimmy)
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