A New
Beginning
Chapter
9: The Heartbreaked Story
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It’s almost Thanksgiving. I hate that holiday. Not as much as I hate Christmas, but it’s sharing second place with midsummer and Valentine’s Day.
Obviously I’m the only one who knows about Guy’s ‘marriage plans’. I doubt that Connie knows about them. Even though Guy said that she knew, he’s using me to come up with a plan to propose. I think the last proposal was pretty nice. Connie didn’t agree on moving in with him; he proposes. Idiot.
Fred proposed to me several times when we were together. I was pretty close to doing it several times too. I still have the engagement ring he gave me. I don’t have it on my finger, but it’s around. I don’t mean that it’s ‘round’, I mean it’s... around.
Charlie is pretty pissed at me right now. I have skipped classes ever since I signed up for them. My busy schedule was way too busy for me to handle. I’m slacking off, and soon I will be on an academic probation. People say that you turn into the person you spend the most time with. Soon I will be just like Fred was in high school. An alcoholic, academic failure.
Yesterday he stormed into my room, Charlie I mean, and began yelling at me for being irresponsible. I guess Bombay have found out about my questionable lifestyle, and is holding him responsible.
It’s Friday the 1st today. November 1st 2002. I will always remember this day as the day two days before Thanksgiving 2002. That’s code for a day that’s not really memorable.
Adam stormed into my room today, but without the yelling. And it’s his room too, of course. “Cee, guess what?”
“What?” I muttered back.
“There’s a huge party at that fraternity house tonight. We have to go!”
“I doubt that I’m invited.”
Adam jumped up on his bed and kicked off his shoes. “Of course you are! C’mon, it’ll be fun.”
“Just us?”
“No, the others are coming too, but I’m asking you to join me,” Adam replied and went over to the bathroom. “I’m taking a shower. Get ready; you have to go. I won’t accept no for an answer.”
I should’ve been more suspicious about Adam’s upbeat behavior.
When Adam finally got out of his shower, I was still snuggled up in my bed, disregarding everything I knew about any party. Adam just sighed when he saw me, and then he went over to my closet and began throwing clothes around.
“What are you doing?” I exclaimed. “Get away from my things! You promised to stay away from...”
“You can’t wear this,” Adam interrupted. “And this is too dark. Don’t you have any clothes with bright colors?”
“Adam, you’re not turning gay, are you?” I shot back.
“No, but you seriously need to work on your image,” Adam mumbled, totally missing out on a great insult. “Does everything have to be black and gray? And why do you have so many jeans? Don’t you have anything normal?”
“Jeans is normal,” I protested.
“Well, it’s TOO normal. You need something trampy. You’re less of a slut then it’s healthy. How are you ever going to get a guy if you dress like Morticia Adams?”
“I got Fred.”
“Well, he’s deluded,” explained Adam. “You’re coming with me tonight, and I’m going to fix you up with the greatest guy you’ll ever meet.”
“What’s with your new hobby to get me a guy? I thought you hated me,” I said.
“Nah, I feel bad for you. You’re almost a virgin, you know. I’m tired of you being in my room all the time. If you get a boyfriend, you’ll spend time with him instead of hanging around here. Let’s go now.”
“Well, if everything else goes to hell, I can always go back to being lonely.”
“I promise you, if you don’t get a boyfriend by tomorrow, I’ll hook up with you,” Adam threatened. At least I think it was a threat.
“Yuck, I would never sleep with you, Adam,” I frowned.
“So? You never sleep with anyone. Have you even been with anyone besides from Fred?”
“Why?”
Adam shrugged and went back to making a mess among my clothes. He’s driving me insane. But he is kind of cute. I would never consider him a boyfriend, though, and he wouldn’t go near me unless he wanted to borrow my CD’s. Problem solved.
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I ended up at that party, half-pretending that I was Adam’s girlfriend, so I could avoid contact with annoying guys. Adam left me all alone after running into some girl. I wasn’t so surprised.
Something that got me surprised instead was my ex-boyfriend. He and Charlie treated me like air, and then I saw Fred with some girl from my French class, one of the few classes I attended last week.
Did you hear me? Fred was with a girl! Some other girl, a girl that wasn’t me! He talked to her and laughed at her stupid jokes. He smiled at her and touched her cheek when he brushed her hair out of her face. Like he used to do to me!
I panicked. Fred was moving on. Just like I pictured he would one day; he’d found the perfect girl. She was blonde and perky and everything I wasn’t. Why couldn’t he just have shot me? I couldn’t help it; I began to cry. I just had to storm out of there, before anyone discovered me.
“Cecilia?”
The following moments in my sad life I spent in the bathroom, crying like I’d just lost both my parents in a tragic car-accident, instead of just seeing my boyfriend poking at some girl. Ex-boyfriend, sorry.
“Yeah?” I sniffed.
“I knew you were here!” Connie exclaimed and knocked on the door. “Let me in!”
“Get away, Moreau. Go and enjoy yourself, ‘key?”
Connie moved around outside the door, until she managed to open the door from outside. If she doesn’t succeed with college, burglary is the right path for that girl. She quickly closed the door again and faced me. I was sitting on the toilet, with my arms around my legs, wishing myself away.
“Adam is looking for you. He keeps asking where his substitute girlfriend is. You’re not really his girlfriend, Cecilia?” Connie smiled at me and gave me a tissue.
“I might be stupid, but I’m not dumb,” I answered. “Or is it the other way around?”
“Fred’s an idiot, Cecilia. A big, fat idiot. He’s just playing you around, making you jealous on purpose.”
“I know,” I sobbed. “But it still hurts, because I’m the one entitled to be mad at him! He left me! God, I hate myself!”
“Why? It wasn’t your fault that he left. He’s being selfish, like all rich people are. If he thinks that he can get over you just by having meaningless sex with strangers, he’s way off.”
That comment really didn’t make me feel any better. Actually, it made me want to throw up.
Connie covered her face in her hands and moaned. “I’m sorry. That came out all wrong! I didn’t mean it like that.”
Of course she’s right. Just because I haven’t been with a guy in almost a whole year doesn’t mean that Fred has sworn off girls completely too. He’s a guy. Even though he’s the only one I’ve ever been with doesn’t mean... No, I can’t think about it. About Fred sleeping with anyone else but me.
It became too much for me to grip. After hearing Guy go on and on about marriage, getting yelled at by Charlie, seeing my... Fred with a new girl, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I felt sick. That’s almost as bad as throwing up. But I did that too.
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I drowned my sorrows in alcohol for the rest of the night. Connie was on my case about it, saying that I should talk to Fred. I couldn’t care less. I’m so sick and tired of hearing his name being mentioned all the time. If he wants to screw around, fine. Why is that my problem to solve?
Christ, what would my life have been like if I hadn’t lost that baby? I would’ve been a mother by now. Fred would’ve been a father. I mean, for the love of God! I would’ve been somebody’s mother!
To hell with that.
I got really drunk in less then an hour. Tequila is my worst enemy. At least Portman was pleased with me. He went on about how great it was now when I wasn’t dull. Between him and Connie, Charlie showed up and tried to talk some sense into me. I was angry with him for ignoring me, so I just walked away. Adam tried to talk to me as well, but he a stopped with his lame trying when that girl dragged him off again. Am I totally invisible?
I was just minding my own business when someone came up to me. “He must be a jerk.”
“Huh?” I said, confused by his question. “Who?”
“The guy who got you this drunk.”
“Pfff,” I continued, with my verbal skill turned on to max. “I got myself this drunk. Who are you, and why are you talking to me?”
“I’m Nathan, and I thought you needed company. Do you?”
“I guess,” I mumbled and took another sip from my beer. I don’t like beer, but it’s alcohol in it.
This guy, Nathan, began talking about how great he thought the party was. I just nodded along, secretly wishing that Fred would show up and see me with this guy. He was pretty cute, actually. Way out of my league, according to me. Guys like him would only leave me for some new, beautiful girl the first chance they’d get. I don’t trust hansom guys; they make me uncomfortable. Even Fred made me feel inadequate sometimes. I used to secretly follow him around, stalking him, whenever I got the feeling he was with some other girl.
Suddenly Adam showed up again, in the middle of Nathan’s yapping. My God, that guy talked even more then I do!
“There you are!” Adam cheered and grabbed my arm. “I’ve been looking for you. Connie said something about you not feeling well. How are you?”
“Peachy. This is Nathan by the way,” I said, trying hard not to slur too much. I was really, really drunk. The kind of drunk you are moments before you lose your conscious.
Adam nodded towards Nathan and said ‘hi’ with an uninterested voice. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he was jealous. The thought is way too disturbing.
“You wanna go grab some food?” Adam muttered to me. “I’m pretty fed up with this party.”
“Who is this, your boyfriend?” Nathan asked before I had the chance to answer Adam’s question.
“N-n-no...”
“Well, then. Maybe you could tell him to leave us alone.”
Adam shoved me to the side, facing Nathan. “Hey, if I want to talk to her, I can. She’s my best friend.”
Cheers.
“Adam, maybe you should...” I tried, but Adam cut me off.
“You can’t be serious!” he almost shouted. “You’re choosing him over me? I’m supposed to be your friend!”
I realized that Adam was pretty drunk himself. He’s usually not the type of guy who keeps starting fights with strangers, especially not over me. And was what that nonsense about choosing him? I need to take him to a psychologist tomorrow.
“Look, Cecilia, I haven’t been totally fair to you,” Adam said. “I don’t care who you talk to, but I want you to come home with me, right now. It’s what I want you to do.”
“Stop acting like a jerk,” I hissed. “You’re drunk.”
Adam nodded again. “Sure, I’m drunk. Use that as an excuse, in lack of some useful arguments. Just because your boyfriend used to be an alcoholic doesn’t mean everybody is one. I bet that’s why you broke up, huh? You kept telling him all the wrongs he did, so he got sick and tired of you and left. I would too.”
Fred broke my heart, sure. What Adam had just said stung pretty bad too. Actually, it hurt like someone had just punched me in the face. Why did he say those things to me? Just because I talked to another guy? What had I done to deserve that?
My first reaction was to attack him. I used to do that all the time when I argued with Fred or Charlie. Or anyone, actually. I could say awful things to Adam and make him angry and depressed. I didn’t. Instead I gave him a hurt look and slapped him in the face. Hopefully that hurt as much as his words had. I wasn’t exactly rational, but I was mad.
“Lets go,” Nathan offered and took my hand. I was too upset to care where we were going, so I followed him nicely.
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