A New
Beginning
Chapter
11: Running Through Fire
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Just as Fred said, Thanksgiving passed by, followed by another tournament. Thanksgiving was a sad event. When the rest of the team got back from their holiday celebration, the rumor was soon spread about my little seizure. They all knew that I had gotten an anxiety attack, and had to be given medicine.
That ‘unmemorable day’, forever stuck in my mind as one of the worst days ever, seemed like it took place ages ago. Almost a month. My Mom called me today to congratulate me on my name day. In Sweden, on this day, it says the name ‘Cecilia’ in the calendar. I don’t know who came up with the idea of putting one or two names in the calendar for each day of the year. I share day with ‘Sissela’. Like that’s even a name...
For those of you who don’t know what day I’m going on about, I can inform you that it’s the 22nd of November today. I’ve been trouble-free for almost three weeks, Fred’s been avoiding me for the same amount of time, and I’ve been going out with Charlie for twenty days already.
Don’t worry; I would never sleep with him.
Fred is avoiding me because he’s mad at Charlie for asking me out. He found out about it almost immediately, and so did the rest of our friends. They have all moved on from this, it was news of the day for... a day. They gossiped about it, whispered and behaved like teenage girls in a locker-room. Then they let it go, and now they have other things to talk about.
Guy wants to propose to Connie at either Christmas Eve or New Years Eve. He has a thing for ‘Eve’s’. I promised to help him plan it, because he sucks at planning things. Too bad I’m not romantic at all. Five years of migraine have made me cynical. What a surprise.
“Maybe we should have swans?” Guy suggested. We were in my room, planning proposes.
“Why not ducks?” I said. “It’s a better metaphor.”
“For what?”
“You know, the whole ‘ducks fly together’-thing. ‘Stand proud, fly straight’.”
“USA all the way,” Guy filled in. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. You’re kidding, right?”
“A little,” I laughed. “It’s not too bad, swans. Should we bring in some clowns too? Connie likes clowns.”
Guy shook his head. “No, I hate clowns. And we don’t have to have swans, I’m just thinking,” he said. “You haven’t come up with anything rational either!”
“It’s not my wedding!” I reminded him. “Thank God. I could never get married, no matter who asked me. Besides, swans are such girly things. Only Connie would like a thing like that. She’s so girly!”
“No, she’s not. Better that then being the ‘Ice-princess’.”
“I took that as a compliment,” I told him. “I really am a ‘princess on ice’.”
Guy stuck his hand into his pocket and took out a small box. One of those black boxes; which scare the hell out of all the women who receives one. I want one too. “You take care of this, Cee,” he said, giving me the box.
“Why me? I can’t even take care of myself. Isn’t the best man supposed to have the ring?”
“At the wedding, yeah, but this is just the engagement ring,” he smiled. “Just take it.”
We sat in silence for a while, pondering over different things. I know at least I wasn’t thinking at all about Guy’s stupid engagement plans. “Fred’s upset,” Guy mumbled. “Really upset.”
“He should be,” I said coldly.
“For the wrong reasons. He thinks it’s wrong of Charlie to be going out with you.”
I shrugged. “So?”
“He’s getting behind on his classes,” Guy continued. “Even more then he usually do. Isn’t he diagnosed with ADD or something?”
“No, he’s just generally stupid.”
“Nice said. Don’t you care?”
“I’m surprised that you care,” I said. “You never cared in high-school. At least not to these proportions. Are you getting soft, now when you’re getting married? Maybe I should tell Connie about this disgusting habit of putting your nose where it doesn’t belong.”
“I’m just saying that he’s upset.”
“So was I. And I’m also behind in classes. Does that mean anything to you?”
“Yeah, that you’re still slacking off, being lazy. Get a grip and stop feeling sorry for yourself,” Guy went on, like there was no end to his sentences. “Are you sure you don’t want to get married?”
“Is that a proposal? Don’t use it on Connie later, okay?”
Guy nodded towards me. “You don’t want to get married at all? Not to Charlie?”
“Why would I want that? I don’t even want to let Charlie get to second base with me,” I joked. “There will be a cure for heartache before I ever get married. Never, I mean.”
“Would you say yes to Fred?”
“What is this? ‘Who Wants To Be A Married Fool’? You have already won first prize, Germaine. Leave me alone.”
“So if you don’t want to marry either one of them, why are you with Charlie?”
That was a good question. Why am I with Charlie, when I clearly don’t want to marry him? No, it’s not a good question; it’s a stupid question. I never wanted to be married to Fred while we were going out. Why should I want to marry Charlie now? We’ve only been together three weeks. I was with Fred for lots of years. Wait, did I just answer my own question?
I promised Guy to take care of the stupid ring, which by the way is gorgeous, and then he left to be with his bride-to-be. Guy has nothing to do with what Charlie and I do. If I want to go out with him, it’s my business.
Maybe I feel a little bad for Fred, but you win some, you lose some.
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We were leaving school later into the day. Tournaments are fun, sometimes. Well, maybe not the most hilarious thing on earth, but they beat science studies. Why did I sign up for that?
Charlie ordered us around, so we could get on the bus without breaking each other’s legs, he said. Please, it happened once, and I’m still getting bashed about that. Speaking of bashing, Portman has been pestering me a lot lately. He thinks I’m fun to drag around to different parties, maybe because he knows that I’m willing to get drunk now. He was like this at that cruise last year to. Getting me drunk, please, like that’s difficult...
“There you are,” Charlie said to me. “Get this bags on the bus, pronto.”
“Am I your servant?”
“Well, get someone to do it for you, then. You’re the assistant captain. I do it all the time!”
“Yes, I know,” I answered. Instead of listening to Charlie’s orders, I decided to get on the bus. We were going to Boston, and that’s a few hours of sleep. I was up trying to learn French last night. Charlie joined me in my studies, but all I got out of it was kisses. Well, that’s kind of French too, I guess.
Kissing Charlie is strange. He’s not Fred. That much I’ve realized. It’s not bad, it’s just... freaky. Way freaky.
The bus ride was as it normally is; Guy bitched and moaned, Connie tried hard not to strangle him, Charlie ordered people around, even though we were still on the bus, and Fred were moping. I sat next to Travis, giving him directions on how to play Super Mario at his Game Boy Advance. It drove him crazy.
I haven’t told Charlie about how I slept in Nathan’s room. He’s my boyfriend now, sort of, so he’s better off not knowing about that. At least I’m sure I didn’t sleep with Nathan. I worried about that so much, I had to do a pregnancy test and a test to see if I had any sexual diseases. I didn’t, thank God. One pregnancy a year is enough for me.
Maybe I’ll tell Charlie about it someday. When I’ve totally lost all common sense I have left, and begun working for my Dad’s insurance company. This is sarcasm, ladies and gentlemen.
We got off the bus later on that day, evening, night, whatever. It felt like an eternity had passed by, and my whole body were numb from sitting all day. Travis had lost his temper when I began shouting ‘Free Yoshi, free Yoshi’ so loud that I woke up Dwayne in the back of the bus. Travis told me that if I wanted to ‘free Yoshi’, I had to do it myself. So I had the Game Boy Advance all to myself several hours after that.
We were bunked four-and-four in small rooms at a youth hostel. It was pretty nice, actually. I prayed to God that I wouldn’t have to share room with Fred, and God listened for once. I ended up in the same room as Connie, Adam and Charlie. I don’t know how that happened, but it couldn’t have been our coaches who divided the rooms that way.
Charlie walked up next to me when I was on my way to the grocery store, right next door. Wow, that rhymed.
“Wait up!” he shouted after me. “I have a long list of things I want to have too.”
“So, buy it for yourself. I’m not your personal shopper.”
Charlie gave me a warningly look when he saw that I avoided his eyes. “You’re not secretly buying cigarettes or something, are you? That’s not very mature. Give me your money.”
“I remember those days when robbers were supposed to be strangers, in need of money, not your own boyfriend who’s richer then... me.”
Charlie caught me smoking just before we left New York. Well, he’s caught me smoking several other times too. I think I’m getting addicted, because I can’t stop. I began smoking when my studies were beginning to drown me, and that was two months ago. Charlie knew about that before we began going out, the first time he saw me smoking, he threatened to tell Coach Bombay and throw me off the team. He’s calmed down a bit since then. I know that I hated cigarettes before, but it was the only way I could calm down.
Cigarettes, tequila and brain damages. Gosh, what’s going to happen to me when I eventually grow up?
“I was just going to buy a small package. You know, there are only four cigarettes in those. I could last on that for the whole tournament.”
“If Muck or Bombay catch you smoking, they will expel you or ground you or something,” Charlie reminded me. “I don’t allow smoking among my players, and neither do they.”
“Nor do they allow drinking, using or sex before marriage, but we’ve all been down that road, right?”
“I’ve never taken drugs,” Charlie replied. “You did, and they expelled you from the team, remember?”
I shrugged. “So? I took some drugs, and that was that. I wasn’t expelled; they suspended me for a brief period of my life. Along with Fred, Adam, Guy and... you, if I remember it correctly.”
“I never used drugs,” Charlie repeated himself. “I just drank a lot, and clearly that’s as bad as using drugs nowadays.”
“When your body reach a certain level of unconscious, yes, then it’s bad,” I smiled. “Don’t worry, at least you didn’t die as much as Fred did.”
“What was I saying before we got into this subject?” Charlie mused. “Right, I had a list...”
He went through his pockets, searching for his non-existing list. I impatiently began to bounce up and down, trying to stay warm in the cold weather. Snow, who invented that?
“I’m just kidding,” he said after a while. “I don’t have a list. Are you freezing? Want some hot chocolate?”
“Sure, why not. I’ve heard that it’s supposed to be as good as cigarettes,” I growled.
Charlie tilted his head. “I can’t believe that I’ve voluntarily decided to put up with you like this.”
“You were the one asking me out in the beginning. You have yourself to blame,” I said. “I don’t have to be your girlfriend.”
“You’re a good kisser, I’ll break up with you after New Year, okay?”
“Deal.”
After we’d found some hot chocolate, and I’d sneaked myself to another pack of cigarettes, we walked back to our room. It was kind of late, and Coach Bombay usually doesn’t keep track of us as much as he used to do when we were younger. Maybe he has given up on us completely?
“Do you wanna do something tomorrow?” Charlie asked me. “We have practice at ten, then we could go do something. Eat, shop, whatever.”
“It’s nice to have a boyfriend who doesn’t put too much effort into making me feel special,” I teased.
“Again with the comparing of me and Fred.”
“Sorry, that just slipped out. Sorry, double sorry.”
Charlie took my hand and smiled at me. “You’re very cute, Cee. Let’s go for a walk.”
That means ‘let’s go make out somewhere no one can disturb us’. I like Charlie more after three weeks, then I liked Fred after... Okay, I won’t go there.
We were on our way back to our room, finally, when Charlie decided to kiss me one more time. One time too much, I’d say. Just when we got up to our door, Fred ran into us. He stopped for a second, giving me a terrified look, and then he quickly disappeared towards the stairs.
Crap.
Double crap.
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