common ground
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We are friends,
but we are not friends
By Kantika Promputta
“You cannot isolate yourself from the community. If you isolate yourself you become lonely crowded people; once you share you get a friend.”1
This saying keeps running through my head as I hurry from class to a nearby cafe. I have never heard anyone say words like these before. One of my hands is holding a can of Coca-Cola, and my other hand, a little baggy of snacks. I rip into the bag, stuff crackers into my mouth and chew hungrily. My stomach is still aching for more.
I finally reach the cafe and sit down, slip on my headphones, and wrap my hands around a warm cup of coffee. I’m no longer aware of what is going on around me. I feel happy, and I think I look happy to others, but I am in my own personal world. I am away from my family, away from my friends, away from everyone around me. I feel that everyone around me is busy with their work—very busy with being busy—but it seems like no one is talking to anyone. Including me.
A voice keeps whispering through the music. I can’t stop thinking about it. Why am I feeling so lonely here? I am surrounded by people. But, isn’t this what I wanted to do, to escape from it all? What has happened to me?
I want to ask one of these people walking into the cafe, “Do you feel the same thing I do, total loneliness?”
When I take my first sip of coffee, I am reminded of a village in Thailand in which I once lived. In this village, everyone sat together to share their meals; they prayed before eating to thank farmers for their food, and thanked the earth for all the energy that every single grain they ate brought them.
I am frustrated. Nowadays, it seems that we work hard for our own benefit, to gain more and more. We only want to fulfill what we need without noticing the needs of others. We consume everything. We are always competing with others in order to get more for ourselves. We become more stressed in our efforts to fulfill our greed. Although we all work very hard physically and psychologically, we have forgotten how to be happy.
In some ways we are lacking; we can’t seem to attain a sense of happiness that is satisfactory. We have sunk down deeply into a pit of capitalism. It results in us always having to compete with others in order to get better, to rise higher in society. We are among others, but we are alone. “We are friends, but we are not friends,” an inner voice echoes again.
I take off my earphones, and start to listen to the different sounds and people around me. I offer strangers some snacks and smile at them. I don’t know any of the people I see; some of them react strangely to me, but I just keep on sharing. I walk out of the cafe while hearing the voice again, but I start to feel happy.
What else should I do?
am Nation A short film by Sara Schaumburg