The Part of Me I Never Had 19

I spent the rest of the funeral crying and partially listening to what people said.
Instead of a rose, I placed a picture of her and me on her chest. I had cried a whole lot when they placed the coffin down into the ground.
JC and I had headed to the limo. The tissue I was using was already wet when the other guys got in.
�What took you guys?� I asked them.
�Some girls wanted autographs,� explained a distraught Justin.
�One of their close friends dies, and all they can do is ask for an autograph,� I noted coldly.
�We know. We shouldn�t have. They shouldn�t have been there if they weren�t going to participate,� Lance apologized.
Looking at Lance, I saw a trace of redness in his eyes.
The rest of the limo ride was silent, only interrupted by my cries.
************************************************************************************
When we got out of the limo, fans swarmed the guys.
Exhausted and down, I tiptoed to ask JC for the key.
�Can I have the key?�
�Sure.� He dug into his pocket and pulled out the card key. He handed it to me.
The looks on the fans� faces were too much. They were of jealousy, astonishment, and rage.
I made my way to the room. Once inside, I went to change. I came out in black double striped breakaway pants with a blue tank top.
Suddenly, I heard the door being pounded on. Being more careful this time, I checked the peephole.
�Oh my god!�
Adolescent fans were surrounding JC and Justin, asking them to marry them and such and such.
I quickly opened the door. After they rushed in, I closed the door in a flourish.
�Thank you,� they panted.
�How�d they follow you?�
�They ambushed us in the elevator,� JC explained.
Justin went to change.
I sat down and sighed deeply, burying my tearstained face into my hands.
�Are you ok?� asked JC.
�I�m fine. I just gotta sort things out.�
�Ok. Just remember, I�m here if you need me,� he said as he stood to use the bathroom.
I closed my eyes and drifted away.
************************************************************************************
My eyes fluttered open and they settled on the clock face. It read 6:02.
Then I saw a piece of paper caught my eye. A note.
Jess~
We went out. We being Justin and I. We�ll be back around 7. I left the
       BMW. You know where the keys are.
    See you~
     JC
I stood up and grabbed the keys.
************************************************************************************
I drove around aimlessly for a while and found myself at the cemetery.
I went to find Heather�s headstone. The stone I didn�t get to see.
The face in the stone stared back at me like it was studying me.
The stone anyway, was made out of rose quartz with a fancy border. I read the inscription:
   Heather Mary Gustafson
                                      11/5/80-7/27/00
                        A wonderful daughter, and incredible best friend
I placed a rose on the grave.
�Hey Heather, it�s me. I know you can hear me so� here it is. I�m going on tour with *N Sync. I know you would want me to be happy and move on, and I�m trying. I just wish you were here. I miss you so much. I�ll be here as often as I can. I miss you,� I said softly, letting a tear fall freely.
�I miss her too.�
I jumped up and turned.
�Justin! How�d you know I was here?�
�Lucky guess,� he said shyly.
�Where�s JC?� I asked worriedly. I didn�t want for him to be here now.
�Back at the hotel, worrying himself to death.�
I smiled weakly.
�He�s falling hard for you girl.�
�I guess it�s safe to say I�m falling for him too.�
�We already knew that.�
I changed the subject, �You miss Heather?�
He nodded.
�You barely knew her.�
�But there was a vibe we got from her. Like you said, she was a great person to be around. She was great at basketball. She was sharp too. Kept Chris on his toes.�
I laughed quietly.
�Lance was really enchanted by her.�
�Really?�
�He was asking all these questions about her, and staring at her all the time. He got hit in the head by the basketball because he was in a trance.�
I smiled.
�He liked her a lot. He was crushed when she you know��
�He�s not the only one. C�mon Juju. Let�s get back to the hotel. Can�t keep Father waiting can we now?�
�Of course not. He�s probably pulling out his hair worrying about his best friend and his future wife.�
�What?�
His eyes widened as he realized his mistake. �I-I-I didn�t mean to say that. I just meant� I mean� It was just from my point of view, ya know? I-� he stammered.
�It�s ok. I won�t tell him a word.�
�Good. Let�s go.�
************************************************************************************
Once I opened the door, I was immediately in someone�s tight embrace. By the scent, I could tell it was JC.
�Thank god you�re alright. Where were you?!�
�I-�
�I was calling everybody asking where you were. You left your cell here. You didn�t even leave a note or anything. I�ve been worried sick about you.�
�It�s ok C, I�m here now. Nothing to worry about. Justy brought me home.�
�Oh. What were you doing there?� JC asked Justin.
�I was fetching Mrs. Chasez here for you,� he said half serious, half joking.
We both glared at him.
�What? I know these things. It�s true.�
I rolled my eyes and went to the bathroom, but I stayed at the door, leaving a crack so I could listen to whatever they were talking about.
�What�d you say that for?!� asked an angry JC.
�C�mon C. You know it�s true. Oh, and by the way, when you have a kid, you�ve gotta name me the godfather.�
�The little weasel!�
�Whatever. Was she ok?�
�She was fine. We were talking about Heather. I think she mentioned you somewhere in there.�
�Don�t you dare squeal!� I yelled in my head.
�What�d she say?� he asked eagerly.
�Can�t tell ya man. Friend-friend confidentiality.�
�Thank you Juju�
�C�mon man. You�ve never followed that rule before!� JC begged.
�She�s different. Besides, she�d absolutely kill me if I told you she has the hots for you.�
�Damn you Juju! I am never telling you anything ever again!�
�She what?�
�N-nothing C. I didn�t say anything,� Justin pathetically tried to fabricate.
But it was too late. JC had already heard.
�ALRIGHT!�
My eyebrows shot up from surprise.
�SSHH! She�ll hear you!�
�Alright!�
I could hear him jumping on the beds.
I quickly changed into a pastel purple halter with black super flares. Then I curled my hair into soft waves.
I came from the bathroom asking, �Who�s saying �ALRIGHT�?�
Justin pointed to JC, who turned crimson.
�I was imitating Chris,� he said, trying to repair the damage to his ego.
�Right. All right guys, see ya later. I�m going out,� I announced as I grabbed the keys.
�Out where?� they asked at the same time.
�Am I the only one getting d�j� vu? I�m just going out to dinner. See you guys later ok?� I started toward the door.
�May we join you?� asked JC.
�I dunno guys��
They both dropped to their knees and gave me their puppy dogfaces. �Please?� they whined.
�How can I resist? All right you guys. You win this time,� I said, pulling them to their feet.
�Yay!� they shouted like little children.
�C�mon guys. We�d better hurry.�
************************************************************************************
�Don�t play with your food Justin!� I scolded jokingly.
We were in an Applebee�s and JC and Justin were acting completely impossible. They were acting like 3 year olds. No, never mind, my 3 year-old cousin could act more mature than this.
�JC, don�t do that,� I told JC, who was attempting to pour the French dressing into Justin�s lap.
�You just see everything don�t you?� JC whined.
�I shouldn�t have let you guys come,� I complained.
�JJ feel bad?� Justin asked in a little kiddy voice.
�Yes Juju. JJ feel bad. Now can you please act your age?�
�No!� they both shouted.
People turned to look at us. I looked at them all and said, �This isn�t how they usually act. They�re trying to be obnoxious on purpose.�
They looked at me with a look of understanding, and then returned to their meals.
But JC and Justin looked at me like bulls to red.
�We were just having a little fun! You had to announce it to everyone!� JC pouted.
�You deserved it. You were acting like 2 year olds.�
�We don�t get to do that often do we now?� Justin asked rhetorically.
�Justin, you are 19 years old! You do not try to shoot spitballs at the people walking by!� I scolded, trying very hard to be serious.
JC snickered.
�And JC,� I said, turning my attention to him.
�You are 24 years old. You should have more sense than to try to pour salad dressing into one�s lap!�
It was Justin�s turn to snicker.
I couldn�t hold it anymore, I had to laugh. Pretty soon, all of us were laughing.
The check came. Justin and JC were arguing about who was paying.
I handed the waitress my VISA and watched the two bicker.
They stopped abruptly when the saw the waitress return my VISA.
�C�mon boys. Show the waitress what good boys you are,� I joked.
They both pouted and followed after me, ignoring the laughing waitress.
************************************************************************************
We laughed as we opened the door. We had been laughing ever since Applebee�s. We were happy and worry free.
�That was fun,� I said.
�Even more fun for us,� Justin corrected.
I looked at the clock. It flashed 10:30.
�Guys, we should get some sleep. We�re leaving tomorrow. What time are we leaving anyway?� I asked.
�8:00 in the morning,� JC informed as he went to change.
�Dang. Just to warn you, I am not a morning person,� I warned.
�Ditto,� said Justin, yawning.
�Well, remember I�m the one who likes to sleep,� JC added opening the door of the bathroom.
�That makes two of us,� I added wearily.
�No, three.�
RiNg!
I picked up my cell, feeling tired.
�Hello?�
�Jessie?�
�Oh. Hi Keith,� I answered. �What does he want now?�
�I was wondering if I could make up what I did to JC.�
�How might you be thinking of doing that?�
Justin looked at me, curious.
�You know, maybe take you shopping tomorrow, maybe a movie?�
I sighed. I knew what he was doing. Then I remembered. �Keith. I can�t.�
�What? Why?�
�I forgot to tell you this, but I�m going on tour with you know.�
�Yeah c�mon Jessie, tell me the truth,� he laughed.
I remained silent.
�You�re not really going are you?� he asked frantically.
�Yes. I am,� I answered indignantly.
�Oh�� he realized miserably. �For how long?�
�8 months.�
Justin continued staring, waiting to find out what was happening.
�8 months?! You are gonna be on a bus with 5 guys for 8 months?!� he asked angrily.
�That was my first reaction too,� I replied laughing.
I could tell Justin was wondering �what reaction?�
JC emerged from the bathroom asking, �Who ya talking to?�
Justin made a sign to show JC that it was Keith by re-enacting the accident.
I hit Justin with a pillow when JC made a face of understanding.
I turned back to my conversation.
�Jessie, this is not a laughing matter. How am I going to do without you for 8 months?� he asked weakly.
�Don�t worry Keith. I�ll keep in touch when I have the time,�
�You�d better, or I�m gonna call.�
�Stop worrying. I leave tomorrow. I�ve gotta get some decent sleep.�
�You leave tomorrow? I can�t even say goodbye?� he asked miserably.
�You can if you come here before 8 tomorrow.�
�Ok! Tell me where you�re staying.�
I told him our location and everything. �If you tell a single fan where we are, I�ll never for-give you.�
�Ok. Ok. See ya.�
�Ok. Bye.�
Click.
�That was a long conversation you had there,� Justin commented.
�What about?� asked a curious JC.
�He wanted to make it up to me about hurting you. It sounded more like he wanted to go on a date and make me change my mind.�
They looked at me, surprised.
�What did you tell him?� pressed JC.
�I told him we were leaving. We are, right?�
He nodded.
�He�s stopping by though. You know, to say goodbye.�
�He�s coming here?� asked Justin.
�Gosh guys stop worrying. Nothing�s gonna happen.�
�You�re sure?� asked Justin.
�This is like a dream come true, touring with you guys. I�d never give it up,� I explained sternly.
�For anything?�
�Maybe for Heather to be alive, but nothing else much,� I said with a tone of sadness.
They were gonna speak again so I held up my hands. �Stop probing you guys.� Then my tone changed. �Ok children, let�s get to bed.�
They laughed.
Justin asked, �Will you tuck me in?�
I rolled my eyes and said, �Ok sure.�
JC watched smiling.
I was getting up when Justin whined, �Where�s my goodnight kiss?�
I turned around and kissed his forehead. �There. That good enough for you?�
He smiled and nodded.
�Ok your turn,� I said turning to JC.
�Ok, ok.�
I was about to get into bed when, �Where�s my goodnight kiss?�
I sighed and I kissed JC.
�There.�
�One more.�
�Ok.� Then I kissed him again. �That�s it.�
�Yeah C. No more,� said a voice across from us.
�Just get to sleep.�