The Part of Me I Never Had

Someone was shaking me very violently.
�C�mon, just give me 5 more minutes,� I mumbled.
�We�ve given you 15, Jessie,� came JC�s voice.
�Ok, fine,� I said groggily as I sat up. �What time is it?�
�7:10,� he said.
�Guess I�d better take a shower then.� I stumbled toward the bathroom with my clothes.
�There�s very little time,� he hurried, �Take a quick one.�
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I came out 10 minutes later, fully awake. I was dressed in baggy jeans, a tight, black Adidas shirt, and had my hair in a high ponytail.
�Hey. So you can dress like a jock,� came Justin�s voice.
�Shut up Curly.�
KnOcK kNoCk.
I went to answer the door.
�Hey beautiful!�
�Hey guys,� I said as I let them in.
�Y�all ready?� asked Lance.
�Just about. I just need to put my stuff-� I looked around. �Where�s my stuff?�
�Loaded on the bus,� replied Justin.
KnOck kNoCk
I went and answered the door.
�Hey Jessie!�
�My god! I�ll never forgive him.�
�Jessie, why didn�t you tell us you were going on tour with *N Sync?� asked Mikayla.
�This,� I mumbled.
�Aren�t you gonna let us in?� asked Nida.
�No,� I answered.
�Why?� asked Julie.
�Where�s Keith?� asked JC.
�Who was that?� they asked.
�No one.� I looked out. �Where is Keith?�
�Right here.�
He came out holding a single rose.
�I told you not to tell anyone!� I told him angrily.
�Sorry.� Then he gave me the rose. �Here.�
�Keith, if you�re attempting to change my mind, it�s not gonna work. I am going.�
He looked heartbroken.
�C�mon guys,� said Mikayla, pushing past me into the room.
�What do you guys think you�re doing?!� I asked furiously as they pushed past me.
Then I could hear shrieks of fright.
Keith and I rushed in.
My mouth dropped when I saw what happened. The girls were soaked. The guys had water guns, looking very guilty.
�What the hell happened?!� I yelled.
�Uh�� answered the five voices.
�We thought they were Keith,� came Justin�s voice.
�Glad they went in first,� muttered Keith.
I ignored him and asked, �What were you doing?�
�We were gonna get Keith back for what he did, but obviously, we got the wrong people. Oh well, At least we got a certain someone back,� Chris replied, gesturing to Mikayla.
I grabbed some towels and gave them to my soaked friends. They took them, mortified that they had done this.
�We�re very sorry. If you give me your numbers and addresses, I�ll send you guys something,� said Joey, flashing them smiles.
�Joey, this is not a time to be flirting!� said Justin, hitting him.
�Hey!�
�Well ANYWAY,� said JC, �We gotta hurry.�
The clock flashed 7:35.
�You�re right. Girls?�
They looked at me.
�Please leave.�
They stomped out of the room, holding their noses up.
�Keith. You came here to say goodbye, and I�m gonna say goodbye. Bye Keith, see you,� I said giving him a hug.
He hugged me very tightly. �Bye then Tsui-Mei.�
�I thought I told you not to say that anymore!�
�Oh come on. Get over it. Besides, I get to cuz this is a special occasion.�
�Fine.� I turned to the guys and said, �Don�t ask.�
�Let�s go,� JC announced, grabbing my hand.
We all walked out, the guys wearing disguises, carrying water guns.
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We were headed to Mississippi for the first show. I had gotten some sleep. It was now 9:00.
I went to the kitchen and looked for my boxes. I finally found the right one and plugged in my rice cooker. I washed the rice and put in. I pressed the switch.
There were footsteps coming behind me so I turned around.
�Had a nice sleep?� he asked.
�Very. You?�
�Yeah. Same.�
�JC tells me you guys are getting along,� he complimented, running his hand through his blonde spikes.
�Yeah. Very well. Why Lance?� I said, taking a bite out of an apple.
�I wanted to ask you something.�
�What about?�
�Heather.�
Sadness swelled up within me. �Yeah. Go ahead.�
�What did she think of me?�
�You were always her favorite. She said you sound really sweet and nice and everything, you know?�
�Really?� he asked, obviously surprised.
�Yeah. She was always pointing out how hot you looked and everything.�
He thought for a minute. �What was she like?�
�She was everything. She loved to do anything and everything. Everything from parties to even horseback riding.� The sadness was growing larger and stronger.
�She liked horseback riding?�
�Yeah. There was a certain horse named Coconut she really liked. Horses were her favorite animals.� Tears were threatening to come.
He looked at me. His eyes were clouded in misery. �Why did she have to die?� he asked, which sounded like he was talking mostly to himself.
�I don�t know. But I wish I did,� I said as tears fell from my eyes.
�Hey guys. What�s-� he stopped. �JJ what�s wrong?� Justin asked as he held me.
�Nothing. I was just talking to Lance.�
�I didn�t mean to make her cry. I just asked her about Heather that�s all.� He left the room, head down.
Justin still held me, soothing me.
JC walked in, then spotting us. Suspicion filled him. �What�s going on?�
�Nothing JC. I was just a little teary that�s all.� I wiped the tears from my eyes.
�She was talkin� to Lance about Heather,� Justin explained.
JC�s face softened. �Are you gonna be ok?�
�Yeah. I�ll be fine.� I wiped the tears away.
I turned and retreated to my bunk, which was on the left side, underneath Justin�s, across from JC�s. When I finally found my CD player, connected it to speakers, and I put Celine Dion in and turned to a certain song and sang along.
No mountain�s too high for you to climb
All you have to do
Is have some kind of faith oh yeah
No river�s too wide, for you to make it across
All you have to do
Is believe it when you pray
Then another voice filled my ears.
And then you will see
Your mornin� will come
And everyday will be bright as the sun
Take all of your fears
Just cast them on me
I just want you to see
I smiled at JC and we sang together.
I�ll be your cloud up in the sky
I�ll be your shoulder when you cry
I hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, I�m here
No matter how far you are, I�m near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I�m your angel�
I saw the teardrops
And I heard you cry
All you need is time
Seek me and you should find
You have everything and you�re still lonely
It don�t have to be this way
Lemme show you a better day
Then you will see,
Your morning will come
And all of your days, will be bright as the sun
All of your fears
Just cast them on me
How can I make you see
I�ll be your cloud up in the sky
I�ll be your shoulder when you cry
I hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, I�m here
No matter how far you are, I�m near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I�m your angel
And when it�s time to face the storm
I�ll be right by your side
Grace will keep us safe and warm
I know that we�ll survive
And when it seems as if
Your end is drawing near
End is drawing near
Don�t you dare give up the fight
Hold on
Put your trust beyond the skies�
I�ll be your cloud up in the sky
I�ll be your shoulder when you cry
I hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, I�m here
No matter how far you are, I�m near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I�ll be your cloud up in the sky
I�ll be your shoulder when you cry
I hear your voices when you call me
Oh�
I�m your angel
Our voices had blended together almost magically.
Then I could hear clapping. I looked over and saw Justin and the other guys clapping.
�What?� I questioned.
�JC kept goin� on and on �bout this voice you had, so he told us to listen in,� Justin said. �And you sure have a voice.�
The other guys nodded in agreement.
I blushed violently. �Thanks. It was just the mood of the song.�
�And the guy,� Chris whispered loudly.
JC and I both shot death stares at Chris while the others laughed.
�Very funny Chris, ha, ha, ha,� I said sarcastically. �So you�re telling me, that if I sang with you, I�d sound like a chipmunk?�
Everyone laughed except Chris, who looked mortally offended.
When the laughter died down, I apologized, �Sorry Chris. Had to get you back.�
I stood up, but JC grabbed my arm.
�What?�
�Do you want to record this song with me?�
�Record it? But I don�t think-�
�Not for an album or anything, but just for us.�
�Oh... Ok. Doesn�t sound that bad. Ok. I�ll do it.�
�Yeah!� the guys cried out.
I shook my head and went to eat my rice.
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It was now 3:00. I was playing Nintendo with Chris. The game? Mario Kart. I was winning.
�Die Chris!�
�Not if I can help it,� he said, launching a shell at me.
�Ugh!� I cried as I was stalled, letting Chris get ahead of me.
When that was over, I went to get a pop.
�Hey Lance. Whatcha thinkin�?�
He was staring out the window and didn�t seem to hear me at all.
�Oh well�
I went to my bunk and found a rose on it. There was a note attached, which I read:
                               Jess, once we are on Biloxi, meet me in my dressing room at 6:00.
                                                                              JC
�Ok. Weird. What would he want to meet me for?� I thought as I tucked away the rose.
***************************************************************************
We parked and headed into the hotel, checked in and headed to our rooms. I was with JC; Justin was with Lance; Joey and Chris.
�Man, look at me! It�s like 5 in the morning!� I groaned, plopping onto a bed.
�You�ll get used to it. Believe me. You�re gonna have to,� JC yawned.
�It�ll take me a long time though. I can tell you that much.�
�Ok Jessie. Let�s just get some shuteye. We gotta wake up at 7:30 for an interview.�
�Ok JC. Sweet dreams.�
***************************************************************************
�Jessie!�
�What?�
�It�s time to get up!�
Knowing I might ruin his career if I didn�t awaken, I sat up and went to do my hair.
I put my hair in a high ponytail.
***************************************************************************
�Ok. Let�s rock,� I said, drinking happily in my caffeine heavy Coke.
�Good. We�ll be just minutes early.�
When we were all gathered in the lobby, we were rushed into the limo.
Without realizing, I had dozed off on JC�s shoulder.
***************************************************************************
�Jessie. We�re here,� JC said as he shook me awake.
�Oh. Ok. Let�s go,� I said as we made our way to the door.
The interior design was very interesting. There were couches and a very comfortable atmosphere.
I sat down on a red armchair, waiting for the interview to begin. The guys had been seated at a long black couch, facing a single chair, which, obviously, seated the interviewer.
The door opened and a tall brunette came in. She was well dressed, her hair pinned back in a tight bun, with an important aura around her.
But despite her stern looks, she was quite nice.
�Hey guys. My name�s Evette and I will be interviewing you,� she said, shaking each of their hands.
Then her eyes rested on me.
My stomach started churning.
�And who�s this?� she asked, her eyes boring into me.
�She�s a friend,� JC explained.
�Oh I see,� she said sounded not quite convinced. �Your name?�
�Jessica.�
�Nice to meet you Jessica. You are, they say, just a friend?�
Forget nice. This woman was very nosy.
�Man, this woman is very unnerving�
�Yeah. And why might you be asking these questions about me, when you are here to interview those five gentlemen over there?� I asked in my most professional manner.
�Oh yes. Well, alright.�
JC looked at me for a final minute, and then proceeded to the interview.
***************************************************************************
�Man that lady was very creepy wouldn�t you say?� I commented.
�Oh yeah. She kept hinting about you,� JC pointed out. �Well, you would�ve thought so, if you stayed awake for the last half of it.�
�Oh shut up. I was sleepy!�
�Where�d you learn how to speak so professional?� Chris asked, breaking our conversation.
�Just string a bunch of words together, I don�t know. I just picked it up. I knew that English teacher would have to have had a good influence on me somehow!�
They chuckled.
The limo lurched, signaling that we had reached the hotel.
They put on their disguises and stepped out. To make it short, the fans recognized them anyway.
***************************************************************************
JC dropped to the bed right when we got into the room.
�Those fans are aggressive!� I commented. I went to look for the first aid in the bathroom.
�Aggressive! You should see the fans from Spain! My god are those guys dangerous!�
I had returned from the bathroom, carrying some peroxide and bandages.
�Show me where it is,� I said, setting down the items.
�Right here,� he said, showing me the mark on his neck.
�Tsk tsk tsk. Doesn�t look too bad.� I sprayed the peroxide on the mark.
�OW!� he yelped.
�Ok, ok, ok.� I blew on the mark.
He sighed.
�Oh. Hang on I gotta get the cotton.�
I got back and wiped the mark clean. Next, I placed the bandage on it. Then I kissed it.
�Now it can get all better.�
�If you kiss here, I�ll feel better,� he said, pointing to his lips.
�Ok, ok.� Then I kissed him. Before I could pull away, he put his arms around me, holding me to him. I put my arms around his neck. At this state, I was sitting on his lap. I was beginning to feel light-headed, my stomach tied up, my heart beating rapidly. Our lips were dancing, caressing each other. JC fell back, bringing me with him, on top of him. Our lips were going at a faster pace. At an unexpected time, he slipped his tongue in my mouth, exploding my nerves. My heart was pounding. Our tongues were intertwining with each other, dancing. Then his hands reached the bottom of my shirt. That�s when I realized what he was doing. I pulled away, breathless.
�JC, we can�t do this.�
�Why not?� he asked confused.
�JC, I�m staying a virgin till I get married. And that�s the way it�s gonna be. So don�t try and change it.�
�I can still kiss you right?� he asked softly, kissing my neck.
"Mm hmmt,� I groaned.
He trailed the soft kisses up my neck to my jaw line, to my lips. We kissed for a while, then got interrupted by the door knocking.
We broke away.
�Oh my gosh!� I cried out.
�What?�
I grabbed a tissue, wet it, and then started wiping off the lipstick on his lips.
�What are you doing?�
�The remains of our making out.� I threw the tissue away.
The knocking grew louder.
�WE�RE COMING!� JC yelled.
I redid my lipstick and signaled that it was safe to open the door.
I walked up to the door.
Lance had a bandage on his elbow and arm, Joey had a red mark on his cheek, Justin had an icepack on his upper arm, and Chris was unnaturally unharmed.
�Chris, how�d you get away unscathed?� I asked.
�How do you know I didn�t?� he said, lifting the sleeve of his shirt, revealing a bruise that was the size of a golf ball. �She hit my arm trying to have me sign her ball.�
�Wow. Looks like JC got off easy,� Justin marveled.
�I guess.�
�So what�s up?� JC said.
�Sound check is in an hour and we were wondering if you guys wanna join us for lunch,� Justin explained.
�Oh yeah sure. I was hungry anyway,� JC agreed.
�For some lovin�,� Chris whispered loudly.
We ignored him.
�Where to guys?� I asked.
�We were thinkin� McDonald�s. To go,� Lance said.
�Great. I haven�t had that for a long time. Let�s go.� And so we walked out of the hotel, the guys more heavily disguised.
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I drive myself crazy
Wanting you he way that I�
Do�
I sat watching them practice. Surprisingly, nobody asked me who I was, or how I knew the guys.
So far, I have to say that I really liked Justin�s human beat box skit.
JC came down to talk to me.
�How was that?�
�You were great. A little sweaty, but great.�
Before I could stop him, he hugged me.
�Ugh. Now I�m all smelly.� I tried to wipe it off.
�Better both of us than just one. What the boyfriend is tortured through, the girlfriend follows.�
�Ok. So if I had to go through total torture of being really sick, you suffer too?�
�I know I�d feel the pain of seeing you sick.�
I smiled. I kissed his cheek. �C�mon. You gotta do the next song.�
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The rose was spinning through my fingers, causing me to think about JC�s note. Meet him in his dressing room at 6. It was already 4:30.
I had left the sound check early to get some sleep at around 2:30.
Fully rested now, I watched TV, waiting for 6:00 to finally come.