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| /Just an Accident 11\ |
| Knock knock. I ignored it, hoping they would give up and go away. Knock knock. I tried to block the sound from my ears. Knock knock. When I didn�t answer the knob turned and Chris stepped inside. �Great. Now I get to be ridiculed� He shut the door quietly. �Hey what�s goin� on?� he asked softly, sitting at the edge of the bed. �Nothing Chris. Absolutely nothing,� I responded in monotone. �It�s about HER isn�t it?� I looked away. �What happened?� I forced myself to look at him. �Why couldn�t I have told her? Why? Why didn�t I just tell her that I loved her?� �You wanted her to love you back.� �At least now I know. Too late.� �Why don�t you just talk to her?� �She doesn�t want to talk to me. She thinks I like Lindsi,� I said sadly. �Your friend Lindsi?� he asked. I nodded, making some tears fall down to my shirt. �You want me to talk to her?� he asked softly. �I guess that would help. But,� I said while Chris got up, �don�t tell her I told you to. She wouldn�t believe it.� He nodded and went out. �May God be with me now� I thought silently, closing my eyes. ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ I sniffled as someone knocked on my door. �Go away!� I yelled, thinking it was Josh. �God why doesn�t he just stab me. At least the pain would�ve been bearable� He knocked again. �GO AWAY!� I shouted. Then the door opened and I flung a pillow toward it. �Hey. I come in peace,� he said, picking up the pillow. �Oh. It�s you. I thought it would be Josh.� �Speaking of him, I wanted to ask you.� �What?� �Why are you avoiding him?� he asked, sitting down on my bed. At the memory, a flood of tears fell from my swollen, red eyes. �You should�ve seen it Chris. He was laughing and talking to her. Lindsi seemed so happy too. God it hurt me so much to see them. I just wish I had never gotten that message from Josh, never met him� never fell in love with him,� I said softly, weeping still. �You don�t mean that.� �YES, I do!� I cried, looking up at him. �At least I wouldn�t have to handle all this pain, all this grief, all this heartache again!� �God come �ere,� he said, pulling me to him, letting me weep into his shoulder. �Chris?� she sniffled. �Yeah?� �Please don�t tell Josh. I don�t want to get in the way.� He didn�t respond. �Chris? Please promise me,� I pleaded, looking into his soft eyes. �I promise.� �Thanks Chris.� �No problem,� he said. I didn�t even hear for I already fell asleep. ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ I looked down at her. She breathed easily in sleep, her tears no longer fell, and her body no longer shuddered. Gently I set her down to sleep. I thought about the recent promise I made. I couldn�t tell JC. But I had to find a way. I just had to let him know she loved him too. After taking a last look at her masterpiece of a room, I went back to JC�s. I knocked softly. �Chris?� came the faint voice. �It�s me,� I assured him. �Come in.� I opened the door and walked inside. �So what�d she say?� JC asked hopefully, his eyes glimmering in hope. I hated to do this to him, but I had to. Crystal trusted me to keep it a secret. I looked down at the white carpeting. �I can�t tell you.� �You have to Chris please!� JC begged, his eyebrows raised in sadness. �Maybe I can find a loophole around this. Maybe just maybe I can hint him� �JC�� �Chris?� he asked pitifully. �I guess I can hint you toward it�� �Please!� �She returns your feelings,� I started. His eyes became bright, and I got ready for the wave of guilt to wash over me. �But she wants to take them back,� I said quietly. �W-what?� he stammered, his lower lip quivering slightly. �I�m sorry. She wants to take them back.� He slouched and buried his face in his hands, his body trembling slightly. �I�m sorry,� I apologized, feeling torn watching him so miserable. �I�ll try again tomorrow.� �It�s not your fault. It�s mine.� He lifted his face, which was covered in salty tears. His eyes became angered. �It�s my DAMN FAULT!� �JC calm down.� �CALM DOWN?! You expect me to CALM DOWN when I lost the most damn important person in my entire life? You try and calm down Chris. It might be easy for you, but it sure as hell isn�t easy for me!� he shouted angrily, waving his arms in frustration. �C. Calm down. Rattling the walls won�t get you anything.� �Well neither is trying to talk to her. Man she won�t even look at me! God I hate myself.� He sulked, losing his energy. �Don�t feel sorry for yourself. It�s all a misunderstanding.� �Because of ME Chris. It�s my fuckin� fault.� He threw his pillow at the wall. A picture fell down and the frame shattered. �Shit,� he grumbled, scrambling to his feet to the picture. I had never heard him swear so much in 5 minutes. JC was on his knees, picking up the picture that had fallen. Then, suddenly, he stopped. He was reading something. I waited till he set it down so I picked it up to read. Soul Mate Maybe in my lifetime, I�ll get to see his face To see his face from heaven To be in his embrace May forever he be with me May forever he has my love Will he ever know that he�s special Or that he was from above? I pray everyday to meet him I pray everyday for his smile Just to hear his beautiful voice, I�d walk a thousand miles For he is my one and only For he�s my love that�s true Just to tell you, these 3 sweet words To tell you, I love you Crystal I glanced at JC, who just sat, staring into space. �JC?� He looked over at me. �You want to be alone?� I asked. He nodded. I stood up and headed for the door, but stopped and turned around. Handing him the piece of paper I said, �Here C.� He took it gently in his hands and said, �Thanks Chris.� �No problem. Anything for a friend.� |
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