"Everybody"
Back in the US of A with the *NSYNC tourbus...Cue tunes of "Together Again"
The guys of *NSYNC has been on tour for a while now, slowly but surely gaining international recognition, all the while keeping track of the Corpulence's activities and stepping out to stop them in true superhero fashion. Now, they're back in the states, ready to conquer their homelands.
Lance: What? Wait, we're not back in the US yet! What about all those months we spent in Europe? You're not gonna just skip through all that, are you?
Basically. Makes the story go faster, so sue me.
Chris: Makes sense if you think about it; It's not like anyone actually cares or knows about what happened to us in Europe.
Lance: What about our European fans!?
You have European fans?
Lance: ...
Joey: So are you guys ready for our first US press conference? What're we supposed to say, anyway?
JC: I talked to Lou about that, and I think we're just supposed to repeat "Single and ready to Mingle" over and over again.
Chris: But I'm not single.
Lance: Neither am I.
JC: No no no, you don't understand; you guys are single.
Chris: No I'm not! I've been dating Dani for...
JC: No no no, you don't understand; You are. Repeat after me: Single and ready to mingle, single and ready to mingle, single and...
Lance: Alright, we get it!
Joey: I don't. How am I s'posed to pick up chicks my own age if they keep thinkin' that I'm on some kind of abstinence drug?
JC: It's a paradox, ain't it? But don't worry; We're all gonna constantly refer to you as the pimp so internet fanatics will start raunchy rumors about you.
Joey: Oh. Thanks!
Justin: Man, that blows. I can get any girl I want, but I have to appear available? Where's the love!?
The giant moniter started to flicker and the blurry contenance of Central appeared.
Central: Greetings, *NSYNC. How goes your affairs?
Justin: What!? I swear I didn't have any yet!
Joey: Neither did I! Well, maybe that one time, but that barely counted!
Chris: ...
Lance: ...
JC: ...In other words, we're doing just fine, Central.
Central: That's good. Busta and I have been doing a lot of scanning over the Corpulence's activities, and we must say that they have lowered noticealby in the last couple of months. Numbers of attacks on artists have dropped dramatically. You have done well, *NSYNC.
JC: That's all great and all, but is it really enough to stop them? I always feel like we're not doing all that we can...like there's always something holding us back.
Lance: Yeah, it's like we go around and we take out a couple of their soldiers, but we really don't know what the Corpulence is about, their master plan...anything. When are we gonna hit on something important about them?
Central: Then I have news that may interest you all. Just in the last few days, it seems a lot of the stolen star crystals have been returned to their original hosts.
Chris: Really? And what about the hosts? Have they turned all evil or something?
Central: This is the interesting part; None of the hosts seemed to have changed at all. They just woke up from their comas and returned to their careers as usual.
Justin: What!? Man, dat be dope, yo. Dey be sum crunkin' jack we 'gain be delin' wit, yo.
Central: Huh?
Joey: He's saying that there's something suspicious about all this and something big's bound to happen.
Everyone turns to stare at Joey for a moment, except for Chris who nods approvingly.
Chris: Very good, my disciple. I have taught you well.
Joey: Thank you, my master of ebonical-translations.
Justin: Hey, some of that credit goes to me, too!
Central: I'm even more confused, now...
Lance: That's okay, so are we. Please, continue.
Central: Alright, the reason for my bringing this up is that one of the musicians who just recovered is going to attend the press conference right after you do. Her name is Pam Pamberstone.
This absorbed the attention of the guys immediately.
Chris: So...what? We're not gonna be able to ask her about it, are we? "Hey girl, you mind telling us what the bad lizards at the Corpulence did to your star crystal?" And by the way, what kind of a name is Pam Pamberstone?
Well, I was thinking of going with Drafina Reeverstoarnmer, but you know.
Central: If it's at all possible, I think you should observe her a bit. See if anything's up.
Justin: Great. We'll just take our Official Stalkerazzi Camcorders 5000 and become our own worst enemies. Well, we've done dumber things.
The bus then pulled to a stop.
Busta: Hey guys, we're there.
**************************************************************
"...Are they all in place?"
"Yes sir. The ones who are ready have been returned, and soon the rest will be complete too."
"Excellent...the final stages of our operation is about to begin..."
"There's nothing that can stop us now!"
"What about those interlopers? I thought that it was your responsibilty to take care of them? Why is it that they are still at large?"
"Please do not be concerned. Trust that I have this all under control. I have a plan...they will not see it coming."
"Don't be so foolhardy, idiot! Do you not realize that it is very possible that they are The Five Who Are One!?"
"...With all due respect, sir, even if they are The Five destined to end our reign, they are still very easily...broken. Which is exactly what I plan to do..."
**************************************************************
In the parking lot, after the press conference...Cue tunes of "Bring it All to Me."
Busta: So, what did you guys think about all that?
JC: I personally think that Justin shouldn't have jumped at every single chance to stress about his basketball skills, but hey, that's just me.
Justin: Oh yeah, well what about how you kept going on and on about how you're so much more musical than we are with all your jazzy compositions?
Lance: See, if you guy had let me talk more we wouldn't be having this problem.
Chris: All you did was talk about Mississippi!
Lance: But I am from Mississippi! Why can't any of you see that?
Joey: I still don't get it about the Poofoo, by the way.
Busta: Um...I meant about Pam.
Joey: I thought she was fine.
Chris: So did I.
Justin: Yeah, she was pretty fine.
Lance: Pam? Yeah, she was, wasn't she?
JC: I plan to write a song about her one day.
Busta: Stop it! So...you guys didn't notice anything strange about her.
Joey: Well, she was fine. Does that count?
Busta: I guess we should be relieved...I didn't sense any negative energy from her either.
Chris: Wait look, there she comes!
Indeed, walking towards them was dashingly foxy female(And yes, I do plan to go on and on about this:))with light brown shoulder-length hair.
Chris: Yeah, she'd be perfect if she weren't totally fictional and given the name of Pam Pamberstone.
Hey be quiet, you're not allowed to talk to the readers.
Lance: Should we just try and talk to her? You know, get to know if something's really wrong?
Chris: Great. But again, how're we gona approach her with that?
Joey: Step back, guys, leave this to me.
Saying thus, Justin stepped up to greet Pam.
Joey: Hi. I'm Joey. Wanna have sex?
Pam: No.
Joey: Okay. How about we engage in a chat in which we have a deep and meaningful conversation in which we get expose our inner jellos, get to know each other well enough for a fun yet somewhat unfulfilling two month relationship, and have sex later?
Pam: Sure.
Busta: Shouldn't one of you guys stop him?
But the remaining members of *NSYNC were too busy scribbling something in their mini-notebooks to hear Busta.
Justin: Wait Joey, go slower, we need to take notes on your technique!
Busta: ...X_X
**************************************************************
"Idiots! Look at them, confronting that revenant directly!"
"They don't know anything...it's like they're standing in the middle of a snowstorm and wondering why it's cold. Hmm, good song idea."
"It seems you were right in your judgement of this, Brian."
"..."
"What do we do now?"
"We'll wait for something to happen. From the looks of it, the lambs have already been lead to the lion."
"That's a good song idea too. Let me take all this down..."
**************************************************************
Joey: ...So basically, you have no memory of what went on while you were in a coma?
Pam: No, it's all very blurry.
JC: And do you feel any different?
Pam: Different? Should I?
Chris{Whispering}: What do you guys think? She don't seem like she's possessed or nuthin'...
Busta: Maybe...but something's wrong...I got a feeling about this.
Justin: The last time you got a feeling, my favorite baby blue fubu blanket turned brownishly-green.
Busta: We're not gonna start on that again, are we? I said I was sorry.
**************************************************************
"...It's time."
"Yes sir. I'll start up the process right away."
"Yes...awaken the revenants! The supersoldiers of the Corpulence!"
**************************************************************
"It's starting! I feel it!"
"Be careful guys, get ready to transform. But don't approach them yet, wait till it's absolutely safe."
"This is gonna suck! What if they don't make it!?"
"That would be their problem. Ours is about to get bigger."
**************************************************************
Lance: ...Something is wrong. I can sense it!
Chris: Look at her, something's happening!
Busta: Joey, JC, get away from her!
Joey: Huh?
But before they knew it, a bloody streak was raked across Joey's shoulder by "Pam's" fingernails...which somehow had transformed into claws.
Joey: Ow! Why am I always the one who gets hurt!?
JC: What's wrong with her!?
Physically, nothing had changed about Pam...but anyone could sense the dark, pulsation energy coming from within her...it dwarfed any soldier they had faced before. Though her eyes, previously brown and beautiful, now carried a red hue with flashing yellow pupils.
Then the changes began...and this creature stepped forward.
Busta: That's...a revenant!
Justin: Ugh! What an ugly picture!
Joey: I almost had sex with her, too! Is that what all women turn into!?
Chris: Shh, Joey! You're pissing off a lot of our female viewers. Girls, he didn't mean that!
Didn't I say that you can't talk to the audience, Chris?
Justin: He's right, let's get back to the topic at hand: What an ugly picture!
Enough already about my pictures!
Lance: Uh, guuuys, she's about to kill us!?
JC: Let's get *NSYNC!
Busta: Wait, guys...!
All: *NSYNC Star Power, Get Down!
The guys go through their respective transformations in to their powered up guises.
"*NSYNC is here!"
The creature formerly known as Pam Pamberstone stretched forward her claws and shot forth a powerful beam of energy, which struck at the ground near them, making a huge hole.
*Justin: What!? What is that!? And why am I always reduced in these chapters to asking random questions about the enemies' powers?
Central{Through their earphones}: *NSYNC, be careful! Keep moving, don't give her a chance to...
The second blast came directly at them, but this time they were ready and dodged aside. A huge explosion resulted, and the guys ducked down to avoid the debris. But it left them shaken; If that bast had connected, they would've all been destroyed.
*Lance: She's as powerful as we are...!
Central: That's a revenant...until now I thought they were impossible to create. The Corpulence took her star crystal and tuned it to themselves...now she's able to access her own star power, but she's totally controlled by the Corpulence!
*Joey: We can still take her, there's five of us!
Saying thus, *Joey prepared to unleash his Burning Light.
Revenant: So, *Joey, how about that deep conversation we were gonna have?
This stopped his fire immediately.
*Joey: ...what?
*Chris: Guys, that's still Pam! We can't kill her!
Pam/Revenant: What, I thought you guys thought I was pretty?
*Lance: Then what are we supposed to do?
Pam: DIE!!!
The blast came again, stronger than before...yet *NSYNC was still able to dodge it.
*JC: We have to stop her somehow, don't hurt her too much, but be careful! She's still dangerous!
Pam: I thought we were gonna be friends!
The blasts came again and again.
*Justin: She's gonna wreck this whole place! Let's do this quickly!
*JC: *NSYNC Spasmic Lightning!
*Joey: *NSYNC Burning Light!
Before the revenant could blast again, *JC and *Joey struck first with their bolts of energy and knocked her to the ground.
*Lance: *NSYNC Deep Seismoburst!
*Chris: *NSYNC Lunatic Storm!
Still weak from the first two strikes, the revenant could not muster the energy to dodge aside from an assault of both aerial and terrestrial origins. Instead she struck at both of them with her blasts. Which was the opportunity *Justin, who was right behind her, was waiting for.
*Justin: *NSYNC Tearing Frostbite!
Had the attack struck her directly, Pam would have been viscerated along with the dark star crystal she held. But *Justin controlled his power with a new twist; The frost encircled and struck at her, but not to hurt her, instead incasing her in a huge block of ice from which she could not escape.
*Justin: I've said it once and I'll say it again: *NSYNC has got the flow!
*JC: True, that:) But what do we do with this? We can't kill her, and we can't keep her in this block of ice forever...
Central: I believe Busta and I can figure out a way to at least keep her in suspended animation until we can figure out a way to turn her back to...
Central never got to finish his sentence, for suddenly a flaming ball of energy ball flew towards and destroyed the entire block of ice...along with Pam.
The guys were shocked and speechless for about five seconds. Then they turned around, angered, and were confronted with these five figures: 1), 2), 3), 4), and 5)
Cue tunes of "Larger Than Life"
*Justin: That the...who the 7734 are you!?
Busta: Wait, that's Brian, from the mall we were at...!
*Lance: Were they the ones following us?
*JC: They destroyed Pam!
*Joey: Why did you do that!?
*AJ: ...Idiots.
*NSYNC: What!?
*Kevin: All of you...pathetically thinking that you're doing the right thing. You've caused more trouble than you've solved. Too naive.
*Nick: Get over yourselves.
*Brian: ...
*Joey: Answer my question, da****! Why did you kill her!?
The one with the spiky hair who spoke first sneered.
*AJ: What's wrong? You were always the annoyingly nice one...killing a monster you just met got you riled up?
*Joey: That's right. And if you don't like me when I'm nice, you'll like me even less when I'm pissed.
The rest of *NSYNC were momentarily startled; They've never seen Joey come close to being angry. Then they realized that the sentiment was shared by them all.
*Brian: ...Please, hear us out.
*Kevin: *Brian! We don't need to justify ourselves to them!
*Brian: They deserve to know. It was a necessary course of action. That girl would've died a horrible and painful death. Trust me, there is no way to restore her.
*Joey: But...that doesn' mean we shouldn't even try! To just blast her like some inhumane thing...
*Brian: But that's the point...she wasn't human. If I hadn't killed her when I did, she would've gotten out and destroyed you all.
*Justin: That's a lame*** excuse for just blowing someone away like that!
*Kevin: Enough about her! We have watched you five for a while now...and it's apparent that what you're doing will only interfere with our mission. All you've done is to annoy and warn the Corpulence more and more. They'll just retaliate with more firepower. Since you don't seem to understand words, we'll just have to convince you with actions. You're all weak. We are strong. And you know what happens when the weak confront the strong.
*NSYNC were all so riled up at this point, they barely even noticed Busta jumping forward.
Busta: Wait! If you five are against the Corpulence too there's no way we can't somehow come to a...
*Nick: Move aside, little dog, you have no say in this.
*Chris: He's right Busta. The only thing these guys are gonna understand is the back of my hand.
*Lance: That's right, let's knock some sense into them.
*JC: They started it, we're gonna finish it.
At this, *AJ smiled cruelly.
*AJ: Let's get it on.
The board has been placed. The players are all set. And the dice has been rolled.
**************************************************************
"So...you actually have been in contact with both groups of interlopers at the same time?
"Exactly. They didn't suspect that I was slowly turning them against each other. I was subtle, to be sure."
"But these...Backstreet Boys...they are powerful, but are too underestimative of *NSYNC's power."
"Right again, sir. The two will destroy each other, and no one will be left to stop our remaining revenants, or will be so busy fighting that they won't even notice. The revenants are starting up even as we speak.
"Ingenius. How did this come about?"
"There's no way for two powerful boybands to coexist peacefully...I just took it from there."
"Good job. Very good job, Lou."
Chapter 8: "Thug Appeal"
(Aka "*NSYNC vs BSB...the real deal")
