"Superman"
At Chris' pad...Cue tunes of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"
Justin(Talking on the phone): Yes, Mom, I'm alright...yeah the school's cool with the whole band thing...no don't let Jonathan go into my room...why? Um, just don't, especially not in the closet where I hide the, um, nevermind...Don't you go in there!
Chris: Who says parents can't communicate with their kids anymore?
Justin: Anyway, I'm just fine, I'm with Chris and JC right now...who's JC? He's that one, you know the one you said you wanted to screw?...that's right...no I will not tell him that!
JC: And I don't wanna know.
Busta: Can we at some point in time get down to business?
Justin: Yes yes, I'll be fine...right...no, you don't have to wash my fubu, it's much better when I do it personally...okay, okay, love you too, bye.
Chris: The joys of youth...sigh.
JC: So Busta, what exactly is the Corpulence? I'm starting to get an idea, but I think I can speak for all of us when I say I'm still in the dark.
Busta: ...It's hard to say for sure. The Corpulence is basically an agency of sorts...an underground agency.
Justin: Underground? As in illegal jack? Is that why that guy was all spooky-like: With illegal substances?
Busta: It's definitely a lot more clandestine than you're thinking. The members of the Corpulence all used to be human, yes. Roughly sixty or so years ago, there were a group of fairly influencial persons...politicians, businessmen, corporate officers, upperclassmen in general, who turned to the dark arts to further their power.
JC: What? Dark arts?
Busta: Like perjury, theft, bribery, espionage, treason, corruption...assassination, sorcery, dark sciences and magic.
Chris: Oh, this just gets better and better.
Busta: Anyway, over time, they gained such malevolent powers...dark powers. And became much as they are today. That's basically all I know.
JC: And they steal...star crystals? What are star crystals? Are they like souls? Why should the Corpulence want to take them?
Busta: They are very comparable to, but not the same as souls. Star crystals are, in the most general of terms, materialized forms of our essence. Your individuality, your talents, strengths and weaknesses, desires, dreams, even fears...it's all in there. When they are forced to materialize and removed, the person who it used to belong to loses all that, and are thus placed in a comatose state.
Justin: Ugh. Why would someone want to...remove it?
Busta: The reason the Corpulence is so interested in them is that star crystals are incredible sources of energy. One human star crystal contains enough power to enough to run a city for months. They are, after all, literally everything about ourselves from the day we were born...they are human essence. But of course the intent of the Corpulence isn't manufactural....they want these power sources for their own dark ends.
JC: Now I think I get it. Star crystals equal power. Corpulence want power. Take crystals. Bad because hosts will get comatose.
Busta: Actually it may be a little more complicated than that.
Chris: You said that they're generally looking for people who have potential to be stars...why is that?
Busta: The star crystals of true performers, true stars, are a little different than other crystals...they are "brighter."
Justin/Chris/JC: Brighter?
Busta: There's always something in those crystals that belongs to people with a musical or dramatic streak which seeks to share, to display itself, its own powers with others. That makes it so these crystals very easy to harness. Performers like you who have a talent for sharing your emotions and your "art" with others have such crystals. Normally that's a good thing, but in this case there's a downside: Just as easily as you can use your shine in a positive way, there are just as simple ways to...taint it. Which is what the Corpulence is trying to do.
Justin: Wait a minute. Basically you're saying that because we have a knack for the performing arts, our star crystals are easier to control? And it can as easily be made...twisted?
Busta: You've all seen it happen: Artists, musicians, actors, celebrities, dancers, others who have had beautiful dreams but have become corrupt by their own art, by their very own need to share their art with others. Have you all heard of Judy Garland?
At this, the trio fell silent, thinking gravely.
Busta: That's what the Corpulence is trying to do...corrupt you art, your shine, so that you may become their prey, their sustenance...even one of them.
JC: So what's going to happen to those star crystals that have already been taken?
Busta: The good part is that most will probably be returned to the hosts, unless it is so weak that the Corpulence decide to harness the powers directly.
Chris: And the bad part?
Busta: ...The returned crystals would have been manipulated and soiled with such immense dark energy that the owners...well, you can use your imagination here.
Justin: They become...evil?
Busta: That's what we believe. Star crystals are most able to function and release their energy when inside their original hosts. Why the Corpulence should put such a sudden interest in this, I'm not sure.
JC: Why is it that no one knows about the Corpulence?
Busta: The Corpulence disguises itself cleverly. I'm not sure how, but I guess you can say they adapt well. I believe that there is some sort of home base, but again, facts are cloudy.
Chris: ...Busta, who are you? How do you know all this stuff about the Corpulence? And for heaven's sakes how is it that you were able to give us these amazing powers?
Busta: ...It would be inaccurate to say that no one at all knows about the Corpulence; There are those who understand it and fight it. I have been sent here by one of them to seek out and guide those who have potential to transform and protect the human race. I suppose it was destiny that led me to Chris.
Justin: Is that our mission? To protect the human race?
Busta: No, actually, your mission is to form a band. Your mission is to be inspirations for thousands of young people. You are to show to the world that there are still those in the world with dreams and can accomplish them. That is the one way to draw the Corpulence out and destroy it.
JC: That seems really deep...
Justin: But it's something we'd love to do!
Chris: You know, this story has gotten way too serious too quick, and I can tell we're boring a lot of viewers. Let's go have some fun!
Justin: Hey, yeah, I know this great club downtown, we all should go there!
Everyone turned to look at Justin.
JC: Justin, you're underage. How the heck do you know of any clubs at all, let alone are able to get inside?
Chris: Come to think of it, JC, you're what, around 19-20? You're not allowed to drink either. Heck, am I the only fogie onboard!?
Busta: I'm legal in dog years.
Note this well, viewers, for this would be the paradox of how *NSYNC was formed...how indeed were they able to run into Joey at the club when only Chris should have been allowed!?
JC: SSSHHH, you're giving the plot away!
Sorry.
Chris: I don't like paradoxes. Paradoxi? Whatever. Let's just skip to the scene where we all manage to get past security and are lounging around checking out girls inside the club.
All the others look around and nod their heads.
**********************************************************
Inside the club. Cue tunes of "Just Got Paid."
Justin, Chris, JC, and Busta have managed to get past security and are now lounging around checking out girls inside the club.
Justin: Oh wow. Look at all the legal women.
Chris: I feel like we're polluting this kid. This should be a sin, I tell you. Right, JC?
JC: Oh wow. Look at all the legal women.
Busta: Why do all you humans find this loud music and stuffy atmosphere so amusing?
Chris: Then why did you tag along?
Busta: To sniff out the bitches.
Chris: Hey! No doggie of mine is gonna be so crude...Oh. That's what you mean. Well, I guess that's an okay use of the term...not really, but...
Justin: This is great. I'm just going to get really drunk and see where I end up in the morning.
JC(Noticing someone): Hey, that's...
Chris: Is that...
JC and Chris: Joey!?
Indeed, sitting at the next table was Joey Fatone(Introduced in the first chapter), talking to a girl.
Joey: You know, they don't call me the Phat One for nothing:)
Girl: Oh, really:(
Joey: Aw yeah. Around my part of town my face is all over every single da** billboard in...um...my part of town:)
Girl: Oh, really:(
Joey: Well, actually, not yet, but someday it will be. My face, I mean. It will be. On every billboard, you know?
Girl: Oh, really:(
Joey: You're never going to have sex with me, are you?
Girl: Nope.
Joey: Alright, just checking. Anyway, did I tell you that I'm often referred to as the Phat One? They don't call me that for nothing.
At this point, Joey looked up and saw Chris and JC with a dog and another dude.
Joey: Hey, what're you guys doing together?
Chris: Joey? You know JC?
Joey: Yeah. You know JC?
JC: I know Joey. Did you know Joey, Chris?
Chris: Yeah. Wait, you know Joey?
JC: Joey knows you?
Joey: I know Chris and JC.
Chris: You know JC?
Joey: Didn't you already ask me that?
JC: So I know Chris and Joey.
Chris: And I know Joey and JC.
Joey: And I know JC and Chris.
JC: But we didn't know that I knew Chris. Or Joey didn't know. I think Chris did.
Chris: Exactly. And JC doesn't know that I know Joey.
Joey: So who knows who?
JC: I know Joey, Chris, and Justin.
Joey: Who's Justin?
Chris: That guy.
Justin: Hey.
Joey: Hey.
JC: Hey, Joey.
Joey: Hey, JC and Chris.
Chris: So Joey didn't know Justin.
JC: And Justin didn't know Joey.
Justin: But you guys did.
Busta: AAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!
**************************************************************
"You have failed me yet again."
"I'm terribly sorry, sir; It could not be helped. The interlopers have grown in number, and they seem to be very effective."
"...So. There are those who can utilize their crystals for power, just like us...They can not be allowed to interfere again, do I make myself clear!?
"Yes, sire, I'm horribly sorry that..."
"Send a soldier."
"...beg pardon, sire?"
"You heard me. These interlopers must be taught a lesson. Send the soldier."
**************************************************************
Back at the club
Joey: You guys are trying to form a band? Why didn't anyone tell me?
JC and Chris glance at him stupidly.
JC: I guess we should have thought of that...
Chris: That's right, we do need a baritone.
Justin: Well, this band isn't just being made for fun. They be some crunk jack we be dealing wit', yo.
Joey: "Crunk?"
JC: It means crazy.
Justin: Sorry, it's in my contract that I have to say "crunk" and talk ghetto once every chapter if I want to remain in this fanfic.
JC: You should have seen him when he was twelve.
Joey: Hey, I can be serious-minded. I can get totally into the music. I'm a very serious-minded music man.
Busta: ...Joey, there are very important matters to know before you rush into this band. We have an important mission and there are serious risks.
Joey: Heck, I can take serious risks! I'm Superman!
Justin: ...
Chris: ...
JC: ...
Joey: What? Well, not really, but I'm close!
JC: No, it's not that...You just heard Busta talking...!
Joey: Yeah, so?
JC: And Busta's a dog.
Joey: So what? Dogs talk all the time in cartoons.
Chris: Snoopy doesn't talk.
Joey: You can tell he tries.
Justin: What about Odie?
Joey: That thing was cute, but it didn't even look like a dog. Did you see the earlier Garfield comics? Freaky.
Busta: Hey, I like this guy. But I'm not sure if his crystal is suitable for transformation.
Joey: Huh?
Busta: If you're good enough, basically.
JC: He's pretty good.
Joey: Yeah! Hey, watch this.
Joey glanced around, then got up onto the stage where the band was just finishing a number. He said something to them, and they nodded. In moments, the band started up the tones for "Celebration," with Joey taking the lead.
Joey: "There's a party goin' on right here...a celebration that lasts throughout the years...!"
Within moments, Joey absorbed the full attention and admiration of everyone in the club.
Busta: Hey, he is good!
Justin: We can't let him take all the good stuff!
With that, the rest of *NSYNC(soon-to-be)rushed up onto the stage and filled in the backupm making it sound all the better. There was no bass, however, so it wasn't perfect.
Guys: "Ceeeeelahbrate good times COME ON!"
Joey: "Let's celebrate, let's celebrate, yeeeeeeaahh...!"
The millisecond upon their finish, the audience erupted into enormous applause.
Girl who dissed on Joey before: Phat One! Phat One! I must have you! Take me, please, I'll pay you money!!!
Security: Ma'am, we must ask you to...
GwdoJb: No, stop it! Get your tasers away from me! Joey's gonna father my child! Help me Joey...
Justin: Hey, this ain't bad.
Chris: Yeah, we should just do this everyday.
**************************************************************
The dark-suited man glanced the entrance to the building. Sure enough, immense energy was radiating from this place. There was no mistake that there was talent in here. Brilliant star crystals bursting with energy to be used.
Security: Hey, pal, let's see some ID.
As a response, the man merely looked at the guard. Just looked.
Man: You will let me by. Or I will kill you. I should think that I'm making the choice very simple.
The guard let him through.
**********************************************************
JC: I wonder if anyone thought I was actually sexy back on MMC.
Everyone thought about that for a moment.
Justin: No.
Chris: On the upside, you're able to talk about it now. You're on your first steps toward recovery.
JC: No, I mean, there must have been someone who saw the Mickey Mouse Club as something other than kiddie fare. We had some hot stuff back then.
Justin: There was me, for one!
Moment of silence.
JC: I guess not.
Joey: How about Keri Russell?
JC: I can just see her on some teen feminist show promoting female independence in college life or something.
Chris: Wouldn't that be good?
JC: For a while. Then they'll eventually discover that people watch the show only for her hair. I'm telling you, we need some TV show with a kick*** female. Like Buffy or something. They should make a TV show out of that.
Mutual consent amoung the guys.
Joey: Hey, the band's rockin'. They're pretty good.
Busta: Are you guys afraid that people are gonna get on you for not playing your own instruments?
JC: What? We're singers and musicians all the same. I mean, off the top of your head, I'll bet that you can name ten musicians that don't play instruments; They're still musicians.
Joey: Yeah, what kind of a musical-idiot would get on us for such a dumb reason?
Busta: Good point.
Suddenly, the entrance burst open in a huge cloud of dust. Standing there was a tall man dressed in a black suit. The guys were on their feet in a second. The rest of the crowd also stared, whispering to one another.
Chris: Busta! Is that a scout!?
Busta: Yes, but, something about him...No! It's a soldier! Oh, this is not good.
Justin: What? Why?
Busta: Scouts are just low-level henchmen. This soldier has got almost twice his power!
Joey: What!? Scouts, soldiers, what is all this!?
JC: This would be the risk that we warned you of.
The soldier made a sudden leap...from where he was standing all the way to the stage area. Needless to say, people started to panic.
The soldier paid the rest no heed, instead speaking to the band directly.
Soldier: Do not worry. We will simply...reawaken your spirits. Make what is unseen visible. Make what is unheard loud. I will take your star crystals now.
Drummer: Dude, you are such a freak.
Security: Hey, get off the stage!
As he spoke this, the security officer put his arm roughly on the creature's shoulder.
Chris: NO!
Within less than an eyeblink, the officer was at the other end of the room, unconscious. In another eyeblink, so were the band members. People immediately began to flood towards the exit.
Justin: Well, at least they're going the right way...
JC: Yes, everyone, get out of the building!
Joey: Jesus, shouldn't we be going, too!?
Chris: We've got something to take care of. Emphasis on the thing.
Busta: Hurry, the soldier is going to take the star crystals! And be careful, don't underestimate this one.
Justin: About that transformation phrase...are you sure we can't change it into something else?
Busta: What could you possibly replace "get down" with?
Chris: How about just plain old "transform"?
JC: I don't actually see a lot of merit in that, either...
Busta: No time now, just do it!
The trio whip out their microphones(Oh, I can just see that wheel in your head turning. Sicko:))
Justin/Chris/JC: *NSYNC Star Power, Get Down!
As Joey watched, openmouthed, the guys go through their respective transformation sequences into their powered-up guises.
Joey: O_O. O_O! O_O!?!?
*JC: Let's go! *NSYNC Spasmic Lightning!
*JC unleashed the bolt of lightning at the creature, knocking it away from the unconscious people. But it wasn't dead. Far from it.
*JC: What!? What do you mean it's far from dead! What the heck, I though I was powerful!
Apparently not powerful enough, *JC. The soldier is up now, and angrier than before.
Soldier: NNNNNRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSKKKKK!!!
Before the trio's startled eyes, the once-man burst out of his skin, effectively morphing into a mini-Godzilla wannabe. Its eyes were furious as it let loose a stream of acid from its horrendous maw.
*Chris: Guys! Don't let the loogie touch you!
*Justin: What, really!? 'Cause actually, I was just thinking of how it might be to get drenched in huge green spittle!
*JC: Look out, here it comes again!
Soldier: NNNNNRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSKKKKK!!!
*Chris: Yes, we know.
It came at a speed that must have defied all laws of motion. Da**it, thought *JC, it's too fast, we can't get out of its way in time.
That is, they couldn't get out of the way in time if Joey hadn't slammed a chair down upon its head.
*Justin: See, *JC, why can't you be as smart as that?
*JC: You were the one who threw beanie babies at that ugly thing!
Busta: Now Joey, do it just like the others did!
Joey: Alright, let's see...I hold this red microphone thingie, and I shout the weird little phrase into it, is that right?
Busta: For the life of me I don't understand what you all have against the term "get down."
*Justin/*Chris/*JC: It's lame!
Joey: *NSYNC Star Power, Get Down!
A burst of fire suddenly lighted forth on the top of Joey's head. It grew bigger and brighter until the flame covered his entire body. When it died down, this person stepped forward.
Cue tunes of "You Got It"
*Joey: Whoa.
Soldier: You fools. None of you can possibly stop me! NNNNNRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSKKKKK!!!
The lizard-beast charged again, but this time the guys were ready.
*Chris: *NSYNC Lunatic Storm!
*Justin: *NSYNC Tearing Frostbite!
The mixture of wind and water blast towards the soldier and make contact, constraining it in its path, but was ultimately not enough to destroy it.
*Justin: "...but was ultimately not enough to destroy it"? What is this, we hit it directly three times! What are we, a couple of intergalactic wussies!? Oh, I get it, you're just trying to give the spotlight to Joey, aren't you!?
Well it is his chapter...
Busta: Finish it off, *Joey!
*Joey: *NSYNC Burning Light!
Twin laser beams blasted out from *Joey's eyes, burning the air as it shot towards its target; When the crimson rays made contact with the soldier, it exploded in a burst of incinerating flames, screaming as it died.
*Joey: Oh. My. God. I...
Busta: Alright, calm down, *Joey, it's okay.
*Joey: I...
*Chris: I guess we have some explaining to do, huh.
*Joey: I...
*JC: Wait, give him time to cope, he might be going into hysterics.
*Joey: I...am...Superman!!!
Busta: ...
*Justin: ...
*Chris: ...
*JC: ...More like Cyclops, really.
*Joey: What!? Cyclops was a dork compared to Superman!
*Justin: Stop it with the Superman! Are you also under some kind of contract!?
*Joey: No! ...Yes.
Busta: Wow. Okay, no sweat guys, we're almost there, all we need now is a bass.
Chapter 4: "How Low Can You Go"
(The title's actually referring to two people. Take some wild guesses, you're probably right)
