BrianWilly's Random Feelings on 2000

Well, you gotta admit a whole lotta stuff happened this year. We see changes in the world every year, every day, but it's easier to notice them when it's all coming to a passing point, you know? Though I swear if I see one more article on People or Rolling Stones or whatever about how pop/rap/rock/R&B/Satan dominated 2000 I'm gonna burst into tiny little bubbles with JC's face in them(Okay I'm kidding, I actually love reading these "let's try to sum up the year!" stories...to an extent, I guess).

And as the year starts to wrap up, it is time for BrianWilly to don the armor of the Dragonmaster and prepare for the final confrontation with Zophar, who decimated the Blue Star with his treachery, but none of you will have to worry about that. Instead, you get to watch me try to be smart(again)and post my thoughts about some of the more significant havok wreaked in this year...Translation, I talk about the remnants of this last year that have particularly stuck in my mind, and some predictions for next year.

You're probably thinking about that TRL psychic guy who stirred up quite the commotion. I did see several moments of it, not all, but hearing the story from folks I was quite ready to unleash my can of whupp*** on this sorry fellow. Yeah...fake much? Take these predictions from a real psychic!

So anyway here goes rants...




Exploring the Pop Typecasts of 2000

*Boybands: The most obvious typecast would be the boyband criteria. "Boyband" is such a lazy term, but it does describe a standard criteria that has its merits. I use the term boyband in this instance not as an insult, but as a convenience.

Boybands are one of the most marketable sensations around, and not just for 2000. Five okay looking guys with harmonies(some without...), most likely able to dance, semi-clean image, maybe a bad boy thrown in. And, um...*Looks at Lou Pearlman checklist* Let's see...oh there needs to be a blonde cute one, and an ethnic one, and a nice/smart one(interchangeable), a shy one, and...oh nevermind.

Anyway, it's really just these last two or three years that the male harmony groups have made The Comeback of all comebacks. For a while America really was in a hard rock stage, now it's starting to make the shift. Even groups like BBMak who don't quite make the Pearlman list are striking ground(Well, maybe it's 'cause they're actually good, but who knows?:)).

You got your 5ives, your Westlives, your No Authorities, your Take 5s, your LFOs, and your BoyZones, but most of those are either European markets or don't get too much public support here. Here in da US there's really only three that seriously impact the pop scene right now: 98 Degrees, the Backstreet Boys, and of course the odd little quintet everyone's been hearing about, *NSYNC.

But wait a minute! *NSYNC doesn't have a bad boy...unless you count Joey(...Yeah right)? None are especially ethnic, Lance has long since shed his shy boy shell for the klub scene(I know, I know...), and I really don't wanna get into whether any of them are smart or not...in fact I really don't know of any boyband that absolutely fits into their adopted image(Well 2Gether...but that's not...you know...they're actors), what's the dilly yo(People who know me please pretend you didn't just read that)? Could it be...that a lot of boybands aren't just sculpted and trained to sell? That they actually have sincerity, talent? All together now, OMG! That's incredible! How could it be that a common boyband could have taken 2000 and toppled it like no one's business!?

But while the rest of the music industry were busy being frustrated and confused and bewildered and bitter and amazed, the fans were enjoying the phenomenon and adding on to the ohmyGod that was already there. It is doubtless that boybands, and especially one in particular coughcoughbeginswithNendswithCcough, brought an insanity and hype to the needy people, and to year 2000, increased the respect, gave the love that we need.


*Caucasian Teen Divas: As with the boybanders, love 'em or hate 'em you can't deny that they fiercely impacted the music of 2000. With Britney and Christina most likely conspiring together to take over the world, others like Jessica and Mandy are gonna have to check up on those nuclear warheads or their stock is gonna plummet(You know, I just realized that I sound a lot like those stupid pop reviewers who start up feuds. Either that or a violence junkie:P). They each have a style that works for them and their audience, and they, ah, definitely were able to...manipulate...um, that to their advantage.

Regardless of the negatives of their...attraction, these mini-divas are definitely stepping up to the plate in terms of the music biz, it almost seems like nothing they do now could surprise me after this year(Though looking back at the VMAs I guess one should never speak too soon lol).


*Trio of African-American R&B Females: If we're gonna talk about typecasts, nothing should prevent me from pointing out this specific typecast. TLC, Blaque, and the recently diminished Destiny's Child, people might not talk about these groups as being in one specific category but I think it holds artistic validity, especially with Destiny's Child's recent claim to fame. That is if you're gonna put *NSYNC and LFO in one category, you might as well sum these girls up too. Though as a personal statement, I have heard both and think that Destiny's Child and TLC's music might as well have come from different sides of the universe, but hey I'm just sayin'...


*Big Pimpin' Rap Stars: Uh...a little more self-explanitory than I would like it to be:).


*The Kids: Namely, Lil' Bowwow, Aaron Carter, Billy Gilman. No, their music is totally uh...dissimilar, but you get the point.


*The Latin Force: Ricky, Enrique, Marc, Santana, Jennifer(To an extent), and with talk of Son By Four touring with *NSYNC next year the Latin invasion is a growing force. Also with the introduction of the Latin Grammys and Christina's recent ventures into the world of bilingual song, a certain webmaster may be wishing soon that he took Spanish for five years instead of French.


And I would like to commend several prominent artists who didn't fall into any typecasts this year!(Although for some of course it couldn't be avoided, and for others such a comparison was flattery, not insult) These include: Pink(I love her), Sisqo(I don't love him), Eminem(I love him even less, but he still deserves props, if only because I feel sorry for him *shrugs*), D'Angelo(whoa), and Blink 182(WHOA!). Well, Kid Rock to an extent too, but he's not totally original, I guess, no affront to him, but...anyway there are of course others but I can't think of any right now.




Da Feuds

It's been a rough year in the world of the music industry.

Countries and nations are in turmoil, split apart by what could be the start of another World War. The citizens cry out for blood. It might be too late already to prevent catastrophe.

The united nations of P.O.P. has just in the last few years gained more notice, more ground, and more power than anyone had ever thought possible, and thus is resulting in friction and insecurities overseas in the nations of Rap and H-Rock, who have dominated trade and franchising for most of the previous decade. Bitterness and scorn have already risen, yet minor conflicts have been resolved in equal share...so far. One nation in particular, SlimShadia, has directly instigated an attack based on the foreign policy of the rising nation.

If that wasn't enough, civil war takes its tolls on the citizens of P.O.P., as inner conflicts between the peoples threaten to overwhelm the nation's leaders. Feuding has always existed between the countries of NSyncapore and Backistan, originating through the first founder of the two countries, Lewis Perlmaan. Since the treaty signed moving NSyncapore even closer to the domain of Backistan, the former's stock skyrockets as the five leaders of said country fully establishes their territory, clearly dominating the economic stores of 2000. But Backistan is stirring, and the citizens of the two countries are doing nothing more than adding fuel to the raging inferno. By the end of the year Backistan has made its move with the full democratic support of its citizens, and the results may leave the two nations black and blue.

The other nations of P.O.P. have chosen so far to remain neutral to the ongoings, but due to increasing relations between the queen of Great Britnain and one of the five "I"s of NSyncapore, it is not hard to guess where G.Britnain's loyalty lies. This specific treaty has been met with both approval and dissent from its citizens and may be a true test of the validity of democracy. Other nations have spoken often about the degrading of the queen's standards but her supporters remain as adamant as ever.

The queen may have bigger problems to worry about, however, as she is one of the biggest targets of usurping, even the citizens of once-ally Aguileurope have cried out for her head, despite the efforts of the Grand Djinn to restore peace talks, and the citizens of G.Britnain have responded in the same bloodthirsty manner.

The people of Aguileurope are not unaccustomed to bloodshed, however, as they have been hit the hardest by uncoming missiles fired by SlimShadia and neighboring nation Bisquette(fresh from its heated confrontation with Koreed). Known for its direct manner in dealing with offenders, so far Aguileurope was successful in deflecting damage and has even allied with Bisquette for a short-term invasion at the Assault of VMA, in which nations from all sides clashed in frantic power race(Which ended in an unsatisfying truce). Beyond that, Aguileurope has even been slowly edging its borders from the United Nations of P.O.P. towards the long-flourishing Arin Bi continent. The Grand Djinn's next move may determine a long or short stay for her supporters.

Another contest with has the whole world talking is the rising of the young and independent government of Napsterra; Rumors speak of a black market in its midst taking advantage of other nation's profits, a situation which has angered the officials of Metal Lecca, a prominent nation on H-Rock with a very effective position, having been in existence before many of the current powers. Ongoing treaties and amendments have joined Napsterra with the rest of the Trade policies but many are still at an unease with the issue, most are taking sides. Legislator Shasay himself of NSyncapore has taken a negitave stance on the matter, comparing the market to hot dogs(a metaphor which has confused many a politician). Considering NSyncapore's rather large hold on the economic market today, their stance may say a lot.

That's all the news for now, stay tuned for more news, at ten to the hour, every hour, on EhmTiVee.

(You SEE what I say about being a violence junkie!?)




Other issues I thought of to rant about

*Lawsuits: It really does seem like you can sue anyone for anything these days:(, and 2000 did a fine job of shoving that down my face lol. But what can I do as a humor webmaster other than to laugh at it all:)?


*NSYNC's Girlfriends: This topic has struck me as being rather...oh, dumb. Basically because I don't understand why I have to bring it up at all. But I do feel strongly about this. They don't call me the king of flaming rants for nothing.

I almost always support them 100%. Bobbie, Dani, Britney, whoever. And this is the one instance where I will not apologize for having an opinion contrary to yours. It's hard to say...okay, it's really not. As a guy fan it just sounds a lot like whining when everyone starts story-telling about which ones have the attitude with fans or which one didn't give you the time of day or which ones you think are bad for them. I really don't think that the guys are dumb little dogs being led astray by the big bad girlfriends, and in the end I really don't care. Oh I would care if I thought JC was being treated badly by Bobbie, yes, but I don't think that. I have no reason to. Take the word of someone who I've never met? Why? I've never in my life heard a word out of Bobbie or even seen her outside of a jpg before. And I can promise that at least 90% of haters haven't either. So why hate. Why f**king hate. There's no reason! I hear all the "leech" comments and I'm sorry, it sounds like whining. I hear you all trying to justify your anger, I hear what you all have to say, but it sounds like whining. I hear you all saying "I'm not jealous!" when it's so obvious you are. And everytime I hear the "Dani's just using Chris for popularity!" excuse I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Open. Your. Freaking. Eyes. And read this. As Dani isn't a public figure she has every opportunity to defend herself, and does so quite well I must say. When you bash her do note that you're bashing a twenty-seven year old woman, not some pop image you think she should have. And I'm getting sick of the anti-Danielle Fischel crap. They're not dating anymore, are you happy now? Do you still hate her for nothing she did to you? That's what I thought. And don't get me started on Beverly Mitchell, someone who he's never dated anyway and am still getting negative crap.

And because they're oh so special, of course I have to have a separate rant for Juju and Brit-Brit! And let me just say straight off that I can not, I will not respect any opinion that goes against them being together. I can understand anti-Britney. I can even understand anti-Justin to a point. But I can't understand anti-Justin/Britney. Of course you have a right to your opinions, I just won't respect them.
I've seen all the arguments. I've read what y'all have to say. I've heard it with my own ears. But it just comes out as whining in the end. "I'm not jealous! I'm not jealous! I'm not jealous! I'm just sick of seeing her all the time! He can do so much better! I don't care!" Blah blah blah don't even deny it. I went on a site where the girl explained in very deep detail how and why she was upset by Justin's "confession," how so much of her life was lost because of this and how she cried for hours after that show and just how torn apart she was and how her friends had to comfort her and...Call me an egomaniac chauvinistic insensitive wannabe male pig, beat me with elephant crap, and kick me in the unmentionables, but I can not stress the amazing extent of mine not caring. Oh I'm sorry for her pain, I wish she didn't have to feel this way, I'm sure Justin would be incredibly flattered, and her attachment to him as a fan is admirable, but grow up. Find a hobby, honestly. No really, put yourselves in my shoes, then pretend to care. Hard, isn't it?

I don't think of Justin's or any of their relations as being supermagically romantically lasting-foreverally cool, I just support them, because I really do not see any reason not to. I've said this before, and I do not want to add to any of their problems, and this is just a prime example of how I can do just that; By respecting them and respecting their way of living. Not just their lives, but their way of living. I don't have to like it. But let me tell you what I respect: I respect two people trying to make it in a tough situation. I don't respect the whining that people make in affront to that. Thank you.


*NSYNC Merchandising

I don't particularly care too much about this; If *NSYNC wants to make a product that's useful to me, then what's the harm? But I can totally see where the music falls out of this. See "All About the Music?" I wouldn't worry too much about them becoming too money-oriented though; I mean what musician hasn't had a calendar or backpack out yet? It's a risky business discussing financial concerns like this. But let me just say that from my point of view that they have a long way to go before becoming all about the scrilla.


*NSYNC's Independent Projects: I'd love to see more of these, ever since the *Ntimate Holiday thingie. They seem to be capable people who can pull their own strings and still put definite attention on *NSYNC. And let me just give major props to Justin for being one of the actual likeable characters of Model Behavior:). Dang annoying little brothers! Dang annoying Kathie Lee! ARG! Anyway...


*Controversy in Music

Seventh Heaven did an episode where I guess they just totally went all out on people like Em and Britney. Okay, I don't believe that just by listening to racist music Simon's gonna suddenly turn evil...But then again Simon's always been a little dumb>:D, and Ruthie's...well, Ruthie's kinda impressionable herself(Okay, I'm convinced that all those Seventh Heaven kids are made as dumb as they are for lesson-learning purposes only...).

But anyway! My conclusion is this: "It's not my job to parent America" pretty much sums it up. Musicians should not have to go around thinking, "Okay, so who am I gonna offend if I do yada yada yada? Should I not do it 'cause they say so?" If artists are always being cornered all the time...I mean that just creates limits in an otherwise free business. And that is never good for musical integrity.

HOWEVER! While it is not Britney or Beyonce's job to be a child's parents, I think for personal moral reasons they do have to look at the situation themselves once in a while, you know? I mean in the end they're just as impressionable as the rest of us; Can they suddenly go too far and lose control over their own outlandishness? Yes, I think so. I mean someone like Eminem is just no-holds-barred, and that does become a problem, but I wonder just how much Britney is gonna keep herself in check. No, she's not that innocent, which means she has a conscious awareness of her own limits and boundaries, but one has to wonder. In her concert performance, there was one song where Britney donned a cowboy hat and swung around on a pole, which for me was even more dangerous than the VMAs, 'cause it felt so harmless. It's like, "Hey, look out. You're maybe pushing your own raciness a little too far, not knowing how deep it's gonna dig," you know?

As for Eminem, well, his grave was dug a long time ago, the question is, how long before he falls in?


*Breaking Records: I didn't buy NSA on the date of release, but I did buy it in the week of release, so I guess that means I contributed to The Record, eh:)? Actually I really didn't think it was such a big deal back then; I mean I seriously had the attitude that "Well, their record will be broken someday too," which I guess wasn't exactly positive of me. It only occured to me now that the confusing numbers are truly coming in just how big this is. This is music history. This is Guiness Book of World Records context. Okay, it's not so big that in a year people will still be blabbing about it, but it's a nice way for *NSYNC to establish their claims.

Does The Record count for everything that *NSYNC does? No, that would be silly, but it's still such a large statement of their public appeal and support that's hard to ignore.


*MTV: Oh, what to say about MTV? With TRL as practically the only times they play music videos anyway, it's really no surprise why pop had such a strong hold on viewers this year.


*The Changing Face of Pop?: "We don't enjoy stagnant music." -Justin Timberlake

And neither do we. While I admit I do occasionally pull out copies of old-monkey *NSYNC songs, fresh music just appeals much more. I still like "Tearin' Up My Heart" because it's just my type of song, but...keep on releasing copy after copy of songs that sound like that and it really ain't gonna work:). Especially for younger artists like *NSYNC who are still growing it is important to change image as well as context in order to keep true to what really is.

Not just *NSYNC, pop is taking on an edgier way of expression; transformation is inevitable in pop, and artists gotta struggle to keep up with a contemporary yet original image for people to appeal to. For *NSYNC right now I see it as the "Dirty Pop Daddies."(I don't know, I don't know, don't ask...!) Gritty, but still fun, and not quite out of steam or creativity yet. By next year, who knows? Image is a superficiality which bends to the advantage of artists who know how to wield it like a weapon(The metaphors, the metaphors! Make them stop...!). With all these similar artists in pop(See above)it's what you gotta use to distinguish yourselves. Once you are distinguished, you can begin to draw upon an original fanbase that has been attracted to that image and will still see the musician beneath. It's also probably a good idea to have an image that isn't so far removed from your true self that it begins to be an illusion(2Gether, I'm talking to yooooooooooooouuu!)

And there are audiences who can't deal with that. They still look at pop just something that comes and fades away. That's not true; Pop doesn't fade, it evolves. Along with the artists it evolves and adapts. Look at what was considered pop in the days of Jackson 5, what was considered pop in the days of Vanilla Ice(Sorry 'bout that mental image...:p), and what is considered pop today. Heck, the Beatles aren't even around anymore and they're still selling like crazy! Look at Janet Jackson, Madonna, et al, who have changed so often that it's hard to put them in any category at all! AAAAAARRRRRRGH I'm SHOUTING and I don't know WHY! Pop is music of the people; That's the definition. How can it fade away?

The fading of pop artists, on the other hand, is their major concern. The risk of being a one-hit wonder is often great. I really can't think of a single male pop artist who has really lasted, I mean really lasted. But as said, pop changes, and we're sure to be seeing changes to come in the next year.

("Dude, when did you become a pop expert?" I really don't know...with the dosage of *NSYNC I experience I guess it's inevitable...)




And there you have it, BW's rants and raves to end our year. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some fireworks to start:D! HAPPY NEW YEAR! See y'all next year!

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