Quotes

Note: I have gotten these quotes from a variety of sources. If my source did not credit someone else, I have listed them as the author, but this may not always be accurate. Also, if my source credited something incorrectly, the credit I have given is equally incorrect.

---

Quotes From Selected Individuals:

By Celeste Byrd:
“The mark of the insane is the use of more than one exclamation mark!!!!”
“Do not believe anything is foolproof. People tend to underestimate the ingenuity of a complete fool.”

By Chronos the Cat:
"There's a time and a place for everything. This isn't it."
"We're all stuck on this world for the time being, let's try to get along."
"Never try to put more books in one place than can fit there."
"Guys and their stomachs are soon parted."
"The more things stay the same, the more they change."
"A philosophical question: when you're your own worst enemy, which is better and which is worse: to defeat yourself, or to give in to yourself?"
“For creakin' out loud!”
(when unhappy) “Fruitcakes, polliwogs, and gumdrops.”
"When life gives you oranges, make orange-juice. When life gives you potatoes, make mashed-potatoes. When life gives you a bomb, blow something up with it."
"Death changes a person. For one thing, they stop moving."
"Amnesia? I don't remember that."
"I work best after the last minute..."
"Capitalists build shoddy things because they're not getting paid enough. Communists build shoddy things because they're not getting paid at all."
"Procrastination is your friend."
"The 'Meaning of Life' is entirely subjective; which is to say, it is whatever we each perceive or decide it to be."

By Albert Einstein:
"Make everything as simple as possible, but no simpler."
“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity. And I'm not so sure about the former.”
“As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.”
"There are things that count that can't be counted, and things that can be counted that don't count."
"The most incomprehensible thing about the universe is that it's comprehensible."

From the online humor magazine, “The Onion”:
September, 03: “Hope Fades For Survivors In 1999 Turkish Earthquake”
January, 04: “Bush Vows To Discover, Legalize Aliens On American, Martian Soil”
“Sheepish Secret Service Agent Can't Explain How Vacuum Cleaner Salesman Got Into Oval Office”
“Terrifying Sea Monster Turns Out To Be Even More Terrifying Amphibious Monster”

By Szakas
"I'll show you how to get the computer to dance to the tune you want it to sing to."
"That's another time for another story."

By Mark Twain:
"I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time."
"Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint."
"Man is the only animal that blushes or needs to."
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
"One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives."
"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat."
"When you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reconsider your position."

by David Wong
God, as portrayed by "Big-Time Religions": "No matter who you hurt, you're really hurting me. Also, I can crush you like a grape."
"Those guys on TV you see, giving the inspirational seminars, teaching you how to reach your potential and become rich and successful like them? You know how they made their money? By giving seminars. "

Quotes From Television Series & Movies:

Batman (Movie)
“Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?” -- Jack Napier / the Joker

The Big Trees
"I believe in turning the other cheek, but you've just about run out of cheeks!"

Bill Nye the Science Guy
(overly dramatic) “With this, I could – Dare I say it? -- RULE THE WORLD!” (normal voice) “Well, maybe not. But it's still pretty cool.” -- Bill Nye

Doctor Who
(Click Here)

Dragon Ball Z
“Soon I will control this and every other world!” -- Garlic Junior
"We're not here to power-down to your demands. We're here to fight!" --Piccolo

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe
"I have the power!" --He-Man

The Magic School Bus
“Take chances. Make mistakes. Get messy!” - Mizz Frizzle
“To the bus!” -- Mizz Frizzle
“Bus, do your stuff!” -- Mizz Frizzle
“We never did anything like this at my old school!” -- Pheobe
“According to my research...” -- Dorothy Ann
“Come on, ya' weasly wimps!” -- Wanda

Masters of the Universe (Movie)
“Never think while you're hungry.” -- Man-at-Arms
“Men who crave power... look back on the mistakes of their life, pile them all together, and call it ...'Destiny'.” -- The Sorceress

Mythbusters
"It's like herding cats. They're not behaving." - Jamie
"It's almost as if we knew what we were doing, isn't it?" - Jamie
"If it's worth doing it's worth overdoing" -- Tory
"I reject your reality and substitute my own!" -- Adam Savage

Reboot
“Warning: Incoming Game.” -- system alert message
“Alphanumeric!” -- Enzo
"Stay frosty!" --Bob
“This is bad. Very bad.” -- Bob
“Not good. This is not good.” -- Dot
“Gun. Command Line: Full Delete.” -- Matrix

Sonic the Hedgehog (SatAM)
"Let's do it to it!" --Sonic & Sally
“It is the Curse! It is the doom-ed Curse!” -- Antoine, “Cry of the Wolf”
"Onwards and sideways, Dulcy!" -- Antoine, "Spy Hog"
“In every game, there are winners and losers. And as you know, in this game, losers are roboticized!” -- Robotnik, “The Doomsday Project”
“So... Big Round Guy finally let Sonic defeat him. Well, don't celebrate too soon, Hedgehog! Now, it's my turn! And I'm NOT ALONE!!!” -- Snively, “The Doomsday Project”

Star Wars Series
"I don't want to be any trouble." - Anakin Skywalker, aka Darth Vader; Star Wars Episode 1

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Classic Sereis)
"Lose a few... Lose a few." - Bebop

Transformers
(Click Here)

Trolls
From the Episode “The Dating Game”:
Ruby: "Nobody gets why guys do stuff."
Amethyst: "Especially them."

Quotes From Web Comics & Comic Strips:

Calvin and Hobbes, by Bill Waterson
“Sometimes I think the surest sign that there is intelligent life in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.”

El Goonish Shive, by Dan Shive
(Click Here)

Megatokyo by Fred Gallagher:
“Prehistoric man first learned to stand so his hands could be free to hold weapons.” ~ Ed

Questionable Content, by J. Jacques:
"Your problems are utterly alien to me. It's like a bear complaining to a shark that its' knees hurt."
"You haven't seen true geekdom until you've watched Snape and Sephiroth face off in a duel to the death in front of a crowd of bewildered mall patrons."

Sam & Max
“Halloween! I love any holiday that successfully combines ancient druidic rituals with teeny tiny snicker-bars” ~ Sam

VGcats
"Obi-Wan: It's over Anakin. This highground ads a +5 to my agility.
Anakin: Hax!"

Quotes From Video Games:

Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow
"You are yourself. There's no one else you could be." -- Yoko Belnades

Chrono Trigger:
"All Life begins with Nu and ends with Nu. This is the Truth! This is my belief! ...at least for now." -- The Mystery of Life, Volume 841, Ch 26

Zero Wing:
In A.D. 2101 war was beginning.
Captain: “What happen?”
Mechanic: “Somebody set up us the bomb.”
Operator: “We get signal.”
Captain: “What!”
Operator: “Main screen turn on.”
Captain: “It's you!!”
Cats: “How are you Gentlemen!!”
Cats: “All your base are belong to us.”
Cats: “You are on the way to destruction.”
Captain: “What you say!!”
Cats: “You have no chance to survive make your time. Ha ha ha ha ....”
Operator: “Captain!!”
Captain: “Take off every 'Zig'!!”
Captain: “You know what you doing.”
Captain: “Move 'Zig'.”
Captain: “For great justice.”

Quotes From Fan-Fiction:

From the stories of Gregg Sharp:
"Alien invasion! Bug eyed monsters coming to mutilate the planet, enslave the women, rape the farm animals. (Or something like that.)"
"Today is a good day to die, but it's a better day to get some cuddling done after the fight."
"Make love, make war, make cookies. Just not at the same time."
"[Ranma] had learned a long time ago several valuable lessons. Among them were: 1) In Scotland, guys who wore dresses were not wimps or girly men. Not all of them anyway. 2) In Saudi Arabia, *always* keep an eye on your backpack. Scorpions were not the only thing that could get in there. 3) An expert martial artist can beat one Marine if everything else is equal. The problem is that the typical US Marine is neither alone nor interested in keeping everything else equal. 4) Never ever EVER push the red button. Bad juju. "
"You can change the past a lot easier than you can change your karma."

"Scales, have you ever noticed that we push him around until he gets what he wants?" -- Ranko, "Comes the Cold Dragon", by Don Granberry

"Men, the enemy's in front of us, behind us. We're flanked on both sides by an enemy that outnumbers us over ten to one. They can't get away from us now!" - Colonel "Chesty" Puller USMC (As quoted in the fanfiction "Return" by Sunshine Temple)

A cry of distress was heard from a certain maiden who loved her sleep. “Ahh! I’m late!” - "Ruroni Ranko" by Skysaber.

"That which does not kill us... postpones the inevitable," Ranma, "Generation Lost" by SunshineTemple.

"Time doesn't grow on trees." - Lore, "Kim Possible: The Next Generation" fan fiction by Mr. Dr. P.

“Most things will die if you chop off their head, when in doubt try that.” - “Make a Wish” by Rorschach's Blot

Shampoo scoffed. "You think you the only one who ever go into heat? At least you get to mate with Airen Ranma, and he stay with you afterwards, not run away like stupid alley cat toms!" She became aware of all the stares levelled at her and blushed. "Aiyah! Shampoo say too much." -- "Sexpet Nabiki: The Sexpet Clause is Non-negotiable" by Bast!

Quotes From Other Sources:

Q: "What do you think of Western Civilization?"
Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi: "I think it would be a good idea!"

“Know whats really sad though? My girlfriend's gay, and my boyfriend isn't.”
- seedofthepast (a man)

“Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up.” - Shade Paine

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away." -Philip K. Dick

“Viruses are well supported by their authors, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature. So, Windows is not a virus.” ~ "a bit less offensive"

“A high IQ is like a Jeep; you will still get stuck, just farther from help!” ~ Just d' FAQs

“Only in a videogame is climbing a ladder more life-threatening than engaging in a gun battle.” ~ Marvelharvey

“If you strike me down, I shall become bluer and shinier than you can possibly imagine. That and my voice will echo. Like this: ECHO!!! Echo! echo...” ~ Sarge21

“Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact” ~ George Eliot

“Wise men speak because they have something to say. Fools speak because they have to say something.” ~ Plato

“If someone tells [Pac-man] guns are evil, he would be the type to rush out and eat guns.” ~ Tohru Iwatani

“Computer games don't affect kids, I mean if Pac Man affected us as kids, we'd all run around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music.” ~ Marcus Brigstock

“Naturally the common people don't want war: neither in Russia, nor in England, nor for that matter in Germany. That is understood. But after all, it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to do the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.” ~ Herman Goering at his Nuremberg Trial

“I don't think Osama bin Laden sent those planes to attack us because he hated our freedom. I think he did it because of our support for Israel, our ties with the Saudi family and our military bases in Saudi Arabia. You know why I think that? Because that's what he fucking said! Are we a nation of 6-year-olds?” ~ David Cross

"Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the Ark. Professionals, on the other hand, built the Titanic." - Voiletwis

"One World, One Web, One Program". This is a Microsoft promotional ad.
"Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Fuhrer". This is Adolf Hitler.
Similarities?
-TydRipper

"Anybody who has read of Quantum Physics, and not been confused by it, has clearly not understood the material in question." - Steven Hawking

"The internet is a society where adults are children and children are FBI agents." -- Mike1204

"Here, have a cat." -- Various people, including Troy "Silver" Stanton & Marie Stupakewicz

"You can always count on an American to do the right thing after they've exhausted all the other possibilities." - Winston Churchill

"Life is about ascendancy. The only thing that grows down is potatoes." - A. Schnabel

"Maybe this world is another planet's hell." - Aldous Huxley

During a EGS forum discussion:
Ankhareon: "Big swords are impractical and unwieldy - An ordinary katana on the other hand is a finely tuned instrument of death."
Illusionist: "Yes, but he who lives by the sword, dies by the gun."
B.T. Isaac: "And he who lives by the gun, dies by the lightsaber."
Illusionist: "And he who lives by the lightsaber, dies by 20 clone troopers."
Ankhareon: "And he who lives by 20 clone troopers should really get out of there."

"I once thought I made a mistake, but I was wrong." - Mantarok1205

"I am allowed to be a hypocrite, you are not!" - Nuclear Alchemist

"What happens when an ultimately omniscient and omnipotent being attempts to make a random-number generator with an output they can't predict?" -- Krid

"Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time.. I think I’ve forgotten this before..." -- Peimur1

"Anything is impossible if you try hard enough." ~ WereBunny

"War does not determine who is right, it just determines who is left." ~ Old Military Proverb

"Ignorance killed the cat, curiosity was framed." ~ Mike Bruner

"The conflict is not between Christianity and Islam or between East and West - instead, it is between stupid people and other stupid people." - Terry Pratchett

"They say good men are hard to find. The same is true of women, men are just more willing to settle." - Knight of the New Moon

"But what if you don't give the mouse a cookie?" - Torin of Death

"You may think you have won, and you HAVE!...wait a second." - Psycho Taryin

"Against stupidity the Gods themselves contend in vain." - - Friedrich von Schiller

"I'm a Professional Cynic, but my Heart's not in it" - FerretBob

"I don't want to be quoted, and don't quote that I don't want to be quoted." - Winston Burdett, as quoted by Chaos Priest (and now myself).

"Films are not released; they escape" - Ben Burt, sound designer for “Star Wars Episode II”

"Turns out if everyone's godmoding, then it plays like a normal RP." - Ajac

"Give a man a fire, and you've kept him warm for a day; Set a man on fire, and you may have kept him warm for the rest of his life...! " - UberSpork

"It is my firm belief that it is a mistake to hold firm beliefs. " - Horus

"Don't ever glomp an anakonda. It will glomp you back.” - B.T. Isaac

"The universe doesn't care what you believe. The wonderful thing about science is it doesn't ask for your faith, it just asks for your eyes." -xkcd

"[It] fooled [him] as much as a vacuum salesman can fool a car salesman." - Hitman25ad

"I aim to please. What I end up shooting is completely different." - Ciennas

"We should start the Society to Prevent the Overuse of Acronyms except you know everyone would just shorten it to SPOA and that would really defeat the purpose. " - Antoine Bruce

"Imagine the Creator as a stand up comedian - and at once the world becomes explicable." - Guessmyname

"The less one knows about a mystery, the better story one can tell about that mystery." -- Someone on a history channel documentary about the Bermuda Triangle (Aired Oct 14, 2007)

"Make something fool-proof, and they'll make a better fool." -- Autumn

A synopsis of Neon Genesis Evangelion, courtesy of Illusionist:
Angel: RAR! I AM SMASHING TOKYO3, WHILE IGNORING SMALLER, EASIER TARGETS!
Gendou: I'm gonna send children to fight it, because I'm a total bastard.
Everyone: Shinji sucks!
Shinji: I suck.
Angel: You suck.
Shinji: *Defeats angel, after watching everyone else try and fail*
Everyone: You still suck.
Shinji: *Gets about 20 more issues and problems*
The penguin: *is awesome*.

"Procrastinators Unite! Tomorrow." - gpmushu

"But yes, having 103 tabs will slow down Firefox." -- Thurinym

"So in conclusion, this thread's gotta have more cowbell or it can't get over 9000. And we can't have that, or Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick our faces. In the end, is this madness? This is Sparta! And when in Rome, all your base are belong to us. Ya rly! Srsly." -- Kyrio

"Before you go saying how absurd someone else is, remember, you live in a society where girls are encouraged to poke holes in their ears and dangle metal and rocks from them. " -- CPUX

"The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they're alive." - O.A. Battista

"Flaming eyes! I want flaming eyes. Or maybe I don't, I would probably burn myself with them." - DeaExMachina

"Growing old is punishable by death." -- Nova Tiempo

"I will loose, you can't stop me." -- Youwillneverknow

"In the underground labyrinths, Link will come across some doors that will close behind him . . . Yet, there's always a way of opening them and escaping." -”Legend of Zelda” instruction booklet

"Those who fear the darkness have never seen what the light can do." - Magic: The Gathering

"Death had to take [Theodore Roosevelt] sleeping, for if Roosevelt had been awake there would have been a fight." -- "A fellow poloticitan", as quoted by Daniel O'Brian

"Research is the process of going up alleys to see if they are blind." - Marston Bates

"I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him." - Booker T Washington

"I do the very best I know how - the very best I can, and I mean to keep doing so until the end. If the end brings me out all right, what is said against me won't amount to anything. If the end brings me out wrong, ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference." - Abraham Lincoln

"So, at the end of the day, all I can say is that some people have too much time on their hands and others just like to jump on the train wreck and dance." - psirrow

"In mathematics we don't understand things, we just get used to them." —John Von Neumann

"God does not compel the belief of skeptics by leaving puzzles in creation which science cannot solve." —George Murphy (theologian) [Intelligent Design as a Theological Problem, Covalence 4, 2, p. 9.]

"Had I been present at the creation, I would have given some useful hints for the better ordering of the universe." Alphonso X 'the Wise'(1221–84)

"Step outside the box ....... theres more room out here." - catrlgirl

"Little-known fact: Ranma 1/2 is really a spinoff of EGS, jostled backwards in time following the Great Temporal War of 2012-1985." -- Mewthario

"Let there be light!" - God

Anonymous Quotes:
"Inspiration is like the tide. First it floods your mind, then it quickly disappears leaving you with nothing but mud and a stranded boat."
“Verbing weirds language.”
"I believe in dragons, good men and other fantasy creatures."
"Of course too much is bad for you! That's what too much means!"
"If a vegetarian eats only vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?"
"Belief without doubt is merely opinion."
"The point is not to live forever. The point is to live so forever knows you were once here."
"God allows U-turns."

A Parable (anon):
The wise teacher asks the novice student what he sees as he looks around at the real world. The student replies "I see rocks, waters, and trees."
But when the student has received more instruction and has achieved higher wisdom, he says "Beyond the appearance of rocks, waters and trees I now perceive that there's a deeper significance, a deeper meaning, a more profound reality than mere superficial appearances."
Still later, when he has achieved true wisdom he says "That deeper reality I thought I perceived was only an illusion of my own invention. In fact, the only things to be seen are the rocks, waters and trees; nothing more."

---

Back to the Quotes Index
Back to Time Castle Home