Articles of Interest
What to do when.... Your Children Fight Over Toys
When your children play tug-of-war over a toy, how do you respond? Do you separate them from the toy by taking it away and saying, "Neither of you can have it"? Do you send them for "time out" to calm down? Or, do you suggest they share the toy, or even explain that one child may hurt the other, or that the toy could break? Taking the toy away, or sending children to time out may make them feel angry, frustrated and powerless. Suggesting and explaining are more positive forms of handling fighting over toys, but they are both doing the thinking for the child.
There is another way to help your children in this kind of conflict--the problem-solving way. How do children learn to think this way?
First, in calm moments, have some fun with words that children can use to help them settle disputes.
Second, help them think of more than one way to solve problems.Fun with Words The word pair "same/different" can help children later think of a different way to solve the same problem. First, have fun with these words by pointing to two things in the room that are the same color (a chair and a couch) and ask, "How are this chair and couch the SAME?" Then ask, "How are they DIFFERENT?" You can let the child be the leader and perform a motion such as rolling his or arms. Your child can tell the rest of the family to do "something the same" or "something different." The word pair "before/after" can help children learn about the consequences of their behavior. First, play a game by asking, "Do I get dressed BEFORE or AFTER I get out of bed in the morning?" Let your children make up more examples. Problem Solved
Now, when your children are fighting over toys, you can associate the words to real life by asking, "What happened BEFORE your brother hit you?" Then ask each child, "Can either of you think of a DIFFERENT way to solve this problem?"
One five-year-old boy said to his three-year-old brother, "You can have this for a little while, but when it's my turn, I'll tell you and you have to give it back." They both smiled, and the boy gave the truck to his brother.What a different outcome from taking the toy away, time out, suggesting or explaining (which often falls on deaf ears). Instead of anger and frustration, the children felt pride.
-- by Dr. Myrna B. Shure Dr. Shure hosted a special radio series, TALKING ABOUT KIDS, on WHYY-91FM in 1998.
7 EASY IDEAS FOR ORGANIZING KIDS' ARTWORK Copyright 2002Maria Gracia
Used with permission. All rights reserved.
In school, kids are encouraged to create, draw, color, paint and build. These activities can certainly stimulate children, and help them grow.
Very often, these masterpieces that your children create are brought home and proudly displayed. But what do you do when all of the artwork begins to take over your home?
Here are 7 great ideas:
1. FIND THE DIAMONDS. Rather than keeping every single piece of artwork your child creates, sit down with your child on a regular basis and ask him to choose the one or two he likes best. By the end of the year, you should have no more than 5 pieces of artwork that your child believes to be his 'best' pieces. This will help keep the artwork under control, and will still give you an opportunity to save his creations for future memories.
2. A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS. Take photos of the artwork that your child creates and keep these photos in a scrapbook. This way, even if the artwork is discarded for space purposes, you'll still have the memory!
3. KIDS FILE STORAGE BOX. Office supply stores carry portable file boxes that hold hanging file folders. These generally have a cover and a handle for easy portability. Help your child create her very own filing system. Perhaps one file folder for 2nd grade artwork, one for 3rd grade artwork, and so on. Now, all the drawings, and any type of artwork that lays flat, will be kept safe and organized. You'll even be teaching your child filing skills! It's never too early!
4. KEEP IT CONTAINED. For other artwork that does not lay flat, the perfect container may be a large, plastic container with a lid. Your child will have a space for shadow- boxes, and other artwork that won't fit into a file folder. Again, be choosy. If you keep every single piece of artwork your child brings home for the next 15 years, your house is going to be overflowing with it.
5. HANG IT. Get your child his very own artwork bulletin board so he can display his favorite artwork in his bedroom. When organized on a nice cork board, this really adds a nice touch to a child's room. Plus, your child can very easily switch one piece of art, with another.
6. SUPPLY MANIA. If your child produces a lot of artwork at home, she probably has tons of crayons, markers and other art supplies. Keep it all in a portable box, light enough for your child to be able to transport it from one room into the next. In addition, separate and organize the supplies into separate Zip-lock baggies before putting them in the box. This will keep everything organized and easily accessible.
7. THE PERFECT GIFT. Kids artwork makes the perfect gift for grandma, grandpa, sister Jane, Aunt Sue, Uncle Jim, and so on. Rather than buying gifts for your child to give to family members, encourage them to give their creations away as special gifts to special people.
IMPROVE KIDS' READING -- EVEN WITHOUT BOOKS Parents want their children to be strong readers. They see reading ability as the ticket to a good college and a successful life. The first problem, however, may be getting the child to read at all. "The best way to encourage reading is to make it enjoyable," says Fran Santoro Hamilton, reading specialist and author of Hands-On English. "Like the rest of us, children are likely to spend more time at activities they enjoy. Then they become skilled in those areas that command their time.
"Some children, however, have such a strong aversion to reading that they can't start the upward spiral," Hamilton continues. "There are many ways that parents can help these children improve vital comprehension skills -- even without a book in their hands. This can jump-start children's enjoyment of reading."
Here are some of Hamilton's suggestions:
1) Emphasize the importance of communication by modeling and expecting good listening. Be sure you have your child's attention before giving important information.
2) Encourage your child to talk with you -- to share ideas, to ask questions. Prompt your child to probe more deeply or to clarify thinking.
3) Help your child recognize that things are not equally important. Help him identify relationships -- similarities, opposites, sequence, cause, examples, etc.
4) Make children's vocabulary study a family activity.
5) Do not push your young child to read. He may learn to read using a part of the brain that will stunt reading ability forever.
6) Read. Read to your child, with your child, in front of your child. Show that you value reading for both information and enjoyment.
7) Read some of the books or topics your child is reading so you can share ideas.
8) If you are reading to or with your child, pause occasionally to ask questions about the story. Include questions that don't have right and wrong answers.
9) Help your child compare what is read with his own experience. Look for both differences and similarities.
10) If your child enjoys being read to but doesn't like to read, have him evaluated by a developmental optometrist to see if a physical problem is making reading uncomfortable.
11) Lead your reluctant reader to books on topics of interest to him.
12) Ignore oral errors if meaning is correct.
13) If your child seems unaware of an error that changes or destroys meaning, ask at the end of the sentence, "Did that make sense?"
14) Provide a variety of experiences for your child (these do not all need to cost money). Many comprehension problems arise because a child lacks background information.
15) Do not force your child to read a particular book.
16) Do not require that your child read every word of a book.
17) Encourage your child to have a question in mind when reading for information.
18) Provide practical reading experiences, such as reading directions or a recipe. Ask your child whether the writing could have been improved.
20) If your child tends to ramble, occasionally have him stop, identify his main point, and deliver it concisely.
For recommended reading lists and suggestions of things parents can do to help their children succeed in school, visit http://www.GrammarAndMore.com The book, "Hands-On English," offers additional tips for efficient reading and studying.
HOMEWORK: Start It, Finish It, Turn It In (Part 2) Copyright 1995-2002Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D.
Used with permission. All rights reserved.
Homework hassles can make school nights miserable for the whole family. For some families these battles can go on for two, three or four hours per night. There are ways, though, of making things more tolerable and more productive. What to do? Consider trying the following steps, and be sure to use plenty of positive verbal reinforcement along with whatever else you are doing.
NATURAL CONSEQUENCES
If you are having trouble with homework for the first time -- say with a fourth grader -- consider using Natural Conse- quences first. That means do nothing. Keep your mouth shut and see if the child and the teacher can work things out. If this approach doesn't seem to be working after a few weeks, then go on to the next step.
Natural Consequences is obviously not the method to use if you have been having home-work problems for years and years.
AN ASSIGNMENT SHEET
Assignment sheets or notebooks can be extremely helpful. They tell you exactly what work is due for each subject. Some schools have even instituted "Homework Hotlines," where forgetful but fortunate kids can call in after hours to find out what their assignments are.
The idea of the assignment sheet, of course, is that after the child does the work, parents can check it out against the list of items to be done. If this is the procedure you are considering, you must routinely include two basic principles: the "PNP Method" and the "Rough Checkout." Failure to do so will result in unnecessary misery.
Bedwetting Most children begin to stay dry at night around three years of age. When a child has a problem with bedwetting (enuresis) after that age, parents may become concerned.
Physicians stress that enuresis is not a disease, but a symptom, and a fairly common one. Occasional accidents may occur, particularly when the child is ill. Here are some facts parents should know about bedwetting:
Approximately 15 percent of children wet the bed after the age of three
Many more boys than girls wet their beds
Bedwetting runs in families
Usually bedwetting stops by puberty
Most bedwetters do not have emotional problems
Persistent bedwetting beyond the age of three or four rarely signals a kidney or bladder problem. Bedwetting may sometimes be related to a sleep disorder. In most cases, it is due to the development of the child's bladder control being slower than normal. Bedwetting may also be the result of the child's tensions and emotions that require attention.
There are a variety of emotional reasons for bedwetting. For example, when a young child begins bedwetting after several months or years of dryness during the night, this may reflect new fears of insecurities. This may follow changes or events which make the child feel insecure: moving to a new environment, losing a family member or loved one, or especially the arrival of a new baby or child in the home. Sometimes bedwetting occurs after a period of dryness because the child's original toilet training was too stressful.
Parents should remember that children rarely wet on purpose, and usually feel ashamed about the incident. Rather than make the child feel naughty or ashamed, parents need to encourage the child and show faith that he or she will soon be able to enjoy staying dry at night. A pediatrician's advice is often very helpful.
Parents may help children who wet the bed by:
Limiting liquids before bedtime
Encouraging the child to go to the bathroom before bedtime
Praising the child on dry mornings
Avoiding punishments
Waking the child during the night to empty their bladder
In rare instances, the problem of bedwetting cannot be resolved by the parents, the family physician or the pediatrician. Sometimes the child may also show symptoms of emotional problems--such as persistent sadness or irritability, or a change in eating or sleeping habits. In these cases, parents may want to talk with a child and adolescent psychiatrist, who will evaluate physical and emotional problems that may be causing the bedwetting, and will work with the child and parents to resolve these problems. Treatment for bedwetting in children includes behavioral conditioning devices (pad/buzzer) and/or medications. Examples of medications used include anti-diuretic hormone nasal spray and the anti-depressant medication imipramine.
10 Low-Cost Activities To Do With The Kids 1) Go to the library - Most libraries have story times for children once a week. Take advantage of their free events like concerts, art and crafts classes and science shows. Most libraries also have computers available so the kids can try out different software. Call your local library for a list of events.
2)Walk, Walk, Walk - Load the babies in the stroller, put the little kids on the bikes , get the teenagers off the couch and go out and walk. Not only will you and your children be getting exercise but also it is a good way for the kids to relax and talk to you about what's going on in their lives. A great stress reliever.
3)Check out the local Community Center- Community centers offer a wide variety of classes from swimming to karate, from dance to calligraphy. Community centers offer classes at an already low price but most have "scholarships" for families and students which will reduce or eliminate class fees.
4)Picnic in the Park- Pack a picnic lunch and head for a park with a playground. The smaller kids will keep busy on the swings and ladders while the older kids can bring a Frisbee or soccer ball to play with. Plop down a blanket for the kids, bring a lawn chair and book for yourself, and let the kids wear themselves out.
5)Community events- Zoos and children's museums usually have reduced and/or free days for children. Plays and symphonies often have free performances during dress rehearsals. Pick up a free parenting "throw away" paper usually found at libraries, community centers and schools. These papers are a good source of free events in your community.
6)Movie night - Rent a couple of movies or, better yet, most libraries will let you check out videos for free. Have everyone put on their pajamas, pop popcorn and bring out the blankets to cozy up with.
7)Game night - Turn off the TV, turn on the radio and bring out the games from the closet. Play a different game each week. Check out a card game book at the library and learn to play different card games.
8)Go to church- Find a church that fits your philosophy and beliefs. When you find a good match for your family look into the events that they have. Some of the larger churches have support groups, camps for the kids (often offering scholarships), picnics and other events. A nice tradition to start in your family.
9)Garden - From the littlest to the teenagers everyone can help with the garden. Have the kids decide on their own flowers and vegetables to plant. Easy to grow plants include sunflowers and geraniums. If you don't have room for a garden grow container plants on your deck or start an herb garden on your windowsill. Have the kids water and fertilize their plants regularly. Not only will this teach them responsibility but they'll take pride in watching their plant grow from seed to flower.
10)Volunteer- Check out your local nonprofits to see what would be a good fit for you and your family. Neighborhood clean-up projects are good for all ages to participate in. Delivering meals to seniors is another good project for all age groups The benefits of volunteering are immense for families. Giving back to the community will be installed in your kids at a young age while giving your family a nice tradition.
The article is free to reprint in any format provided the information at the bottom, including this, remains intact. Reprinted from Single Parent Central, www.singleparentcentral.com, which offers information and resources to single parent families. �2000 SingleParentCentral.com
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