"Your website... brings it back full circle to the true essence of hip hop." -DJ Jazzy Jeff
The Index---McNeil's Media Review---The Page of the Velvet Elvis---Link Chaos
| THE MAIL HALL OF FAME | Although visually mundane and contextually irrelevant, the MAIL HALL OF FAME page remains as Christian McNeil's attempt to collect correspondence by appealing to others' desire to see their names on this world-famous electronic real estate. As an additional bonus, the MAIL HALL OF FAME provides a demographic profile of visitors to Christian McNeil's Electric Presence (see "Market Analysis," below). Send a message of your own to satiate your vanity/lower the common denominator. |
THE
MAIL HALL OF FAME PLEDGE: Every person who sends e-mail to Chris
McNeil will receive, in return for their efforts, a personal message
from Chris McNeil himself, plus (eventually) recognition on the MAIL HALL
OF FAME.
IMPORTANT NOTE: several prospective students have written to me, over the years, to find out what Reed is like. None of them have attended, which leads me to conclude that the admissions department ought to pay me not to communicate with prospies.
In reverse chronological order, sans proofreading, the mail hall of famers include:
|
Andrew Fippinger |
There are three things that really tickle
me about this web page - fun, education, and safety. Andrew L. Fippinger Moscow, Russia |
|
Ed Wyers |
Hi Christian, I enjoyed reading your thoughts on the presidential race. I'm a Republican. I did vote for George Bush, but for me, it was a case of not having anywhere else to go. I think that all three "major" candidates were charlatans. Neither was worth my effort, but habit is a hard thing to break. You did give me some time to reflect and that is good. Thanks, E Wyers |
|
Gabe Tusinski |
Hey Chris: I just wanted to say that I found
this on the server and It has some very very insightful pieces of
writing and good information on such important issues as responsible
investment. Also, residing in Massachusetts, I too have to make the
gauntlet run through hell (St. Louis) in order to get back to my Utopia.
I too have experienced the brutality of all that superficial beauty,
unthinking action and misplaced trust in the corporate world. (One
of the major reasons I am driving home this summer). Thanks for putting
my thoughts into an easily accessible piece of writing. See you later GABE TUSINSKI |
|
DJ JAZZY JEFF |
Yo Yo!! This is DJ Jazzy Jeff again. I stopped by cuz
I gotsta give a shout out to my man Puffy, and MTV wont give me any
air time. They says I'm a has-been. They's a bunch of robot teeny
boppers anyways. But enough about those fools. Puffy was acquitted,
yo! I thought O.J.'s trial was some kind of fluke, but the recent
verdict made me see the light. Them crackers are some gullible sucka's,
don't you think? They's just scared of the NAACP. Now I tell all my
homies: "Just go on and cap that mofo...ain't like there gonna be
any reprecussions." Word. Keep on keepin it real, MC DJ JAZZY JEFF ETHICS TIP: *FOR A MORE MORAL HIP HOP EXPERIENCE, A Tribe Called Quest IS MY RECOMMENDASHUN, G* |
|
Erin |
So here I am, an innocent high school senior desperately
searching for any intelligent clue (or sign from God) indicating which
college my future shall hold for me. I revert, obviously, to the internet
- where all good things exist. Stumbling blindly around my first choices'
(I think - please don't hold me to that) website, I chance upon a
link entitled "Christian Neal McNeil's Page of Things That Make You
Go Hmm" Being a large supporter of C&C Music Factory, I click on the
link when, suddenly, I come to a terrifying realization. Did that
link say this man's name was Christian NEAL mcNeil? Could this poor
person have roughly the same middle and last name? Was this some kind
of cruel joke played by the parents of an unsuspecting newborn or
simply a typo? Concerned with this dilemma, as well as impressed by
the website I encountered after recovering from my initial shock,
I decided to make an enquiry. Sir, does your middle name bear such
a striking resemblance to your last name? [Yes.] Also, If you have time to write a short paragraph describing why or why not you thing Reed is a good place to be, I'm sure Iwouldn't object to looking it over. [It's a good place to be, Erin, because you'll get really smart, and also, there's an apartment complex across the street where you can sneak in and use the hot tub at night. It's pretty nice.] Thank you for your time Erin Bristow |
| An Anonymous State Representative Civil Servant |
I LOVE it!! Your website comes up FIRST in GOOGLE when you search
on "Adam Mack." Awesome!! |
|
Andy Colvin |
Subject: I thought the hall of fame needed some greek
[Editor's Note: Wise-ass.] W Mknil, enomizon oti estai amenos ei poieis allous tous logous Acaious en muqw emou opws fainhsomai baqus. ou gigvskw murious logous outws ou aggelw polun cronon. keluw cairhn Andi |
|
Christine |
Since I graduated from Reed, well, nigh fifteen years
ago, I thought I would mosey on over to the Reed site and see what's
a popping. I was glad to see that Reedies have finally been working
on their home pages (some even surpass the usual excellence of Geocities).
I like your page alot. Not like a lot of the cynical crap young intellectuals
usually feel obligated to spew. Your book reviews were really cute.
I tried to read the essays on Greek issues, but it just brought back
toooo many acutely painful memories. You might want to visit my site,
www.dancingartichoke.com, although mostly it's just an advertisement
for me. I haven't yet linked to anything I've published on the web
yet, although I'm starting on column on Contemporary Art at www.suite101.com
(the low rent About.com) in a few weeks. Thanks for the treat. Christine P.S. Don't ever leave Reed. You'll never find another place like it. |
|
Paul Burdick |
Hey Chris, Contemplated the Nader article. Wept at the TWA experience. Revered the Shrine of Mont. Envied the critical acclaim. Enjoyed the Crater Lake picts. So, yeah, It was fun to read your webpage. My page is finally back up after a few months...I needed something other than homework to do last night. cheers, Paul |
|
Aheri Stanford-Asiyo |
Hi! ... So, i just realized my only motivation for writing was, in fact, the Hall of Fame - really I send mail in the vain (yet realistic) attempt to write my name in the stars (note the Thanatos referance - think Essays in Ancient Greece?...-?) among fellow Reedies (i.e. yourself and other Reedies&Friends). Br*illiant* website, Christian. Now for my shout-out -- How exciting that the following names will be available for the whole world to see via the internet - another 'hit' for ego-searches -- A shout out to Danielle Shea, Julia Sandler, Athena Aktipis, Yesica Hurtado, Kip Burman, Gabriella Ekman, Eli (!) Weingarten; Crystal Chaw, Alex Webster, and Rebecca Meredith my 1st dormies Special thanks to the inspiration of this e-mail, "Together, we can ruin the content of this website with opressive concern over market share." What a great idea. In solidarity, Aheri Stanford-Asiyo |
| "DJ JAZZY
JEFF" Hip-Hop Star |
The fresh prince, uncle phil, aunt viv, and I were
not five minutes ago discussing the lack of meaning in rap music.
Today it all seems to be hollas and dollas (pimp juice and flow, ify'knowhutimsay'n.)
Your website, however, brings it back full circle to the true essence
of hip hop. Keep it real, jazzyfatnastee. BLACK PANTHERS UNITE! -Will Hessling (DJ JAZZY JEFF) PSPSYCHOLOGY QUIZ: I am well beyond the sexual development stage, and yet I don't find television programs like MTV's undressed and baywatch entertaining. I also hold no interest in men's magazines. All these publications do is bring up the unshakeable image of a large and ripe cucumber in my imagination. Does this have anything to do with reggae music, and if so, am I gay? |
| "Princess
Kristen" Dipshit |
Hello. It has always been a great dream of mine to see
a website with an incredible mail hall of fame. My dream was realised
about five minutes ago. Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou. And Thankyou Again, Kris E. |
| Rave a.k.a.
Ann from Minnesota |
Greetings! You don't know me, but that might be because
I'm in Minnesota and have never been to Portland. Or it may not. Who
knows? I love your page, it sounds a lot like something I'd put up
if I had the time. *pause* Okay, fine, you dragged it out of me. I'm
too lazy to maintain a page. Or even start one. But that's probably
beside the point. I'm only a junior in high school (stop laughing. It's not funny.) and I'm starting to look at colleges. I got sent an eye-catching letter from the Admissions department of Reed and was wondering if you knew anyone heavily involved in the biology program at Reed. And if so, you could give them my e-mail address. I'd appreciate it if you'd pass it along, but obviously don't go out of your way to find someone. I've rambled enough for the time being. Hope to hear from you soon. Rave (a.k.a. Ann) |
| Elana
Shneyer from New York |
i was looking on the web for no particular reason this
afternoon, and happened upon your web page...i noticed that you seemed
desperate for email in response to it..so i thought that i would send
you some it is quite an interesting page...i really like the shrine to your roomate, in fact i would like that picture be my computer background...i think that you should put up a request asking for information on the security of the sports center...that could be a useful use of your page.... ok...i have added to the counter, but also to the mail response....i must go and do something not infront of the computer, as the sky has cleared a little...have a great break, and don't fall into crater lake [Editor's Note: The phrase "don't fall into crater lake" is a traditional closing message of good fortune peculiar to certain native New Yorkers.] -elana |
| Margaret
Snell BEHS '99 |
Ok Hannah, here i am. Chris, your website always makes
me think, even if i don't agree with you all the time (although, most
of the time you seem to be right on). "half the word is crazy and the other half is scared"- Phil Ochs "Send you a tape from california" ( if you haven't already, check him out. (an old 60's folkie my dad likes and he is pretty cool) you can change the half to 90% and 10% if you wish. |
|
Hannah Larrabee |
interesting web page Chris, i must admit. so, i made my
way here by means of ms. margaret snell, and i've noticed that she
has not yet made her way into your hall of fame (you should really
get on her case). anyway, i hope you're enjoying Reed... just thought
i'd send you a "hello." -Hannah |
|
Katie |
Hola, Now you can add me to that super-nifty-keeno Mail Hall of Fame. Woo. I was stumbling through the Reed student website directory and your site entertained me for, on average, about five minutes longer than any of the others I'd found. That's some sort of record for me, I assure you. Keep up the good, albeit slightly zany, work... Katie. |
|
Jon Sjuander |
Hi Christian, I'm really bored so I thought I would check your web page for the latest and greatest. You might want to consider a plug to the Northern Light search engine. It's the only one that found you. Shocking but true. Jon Sjulander [Editor's note: he was just kidding about being bored. As you can see, it ain't possible when you're visiting this web site. ] |
| JJ "JTwice"
Miranda Reed '01 |
Dear Chris, Darn small "bandwagon" even for this sheep. Just add me to the Hall of Fame and my work here is done. Sincere regards, JJ |
| Bill
Tripp BEHS '99 |
hello mcneil. i would be honored to be a part of your Mail Hall of Fame. look!!!!! your Mail Hall of Fame means so much to me
that i even capitalized it! you don't know how happy i'd be if you'd
just put my name on the Mail Hall of Fame, so please, for the love
of god, do me this one favor. Thank You So Much, Mr. William Tripp [Editor's note: As you can see, Chris McNeil's Web Page is a place where dreams come true. Write today.] |
|
Karen Neese |
Hey there Chris McNeil, you crazy socialist, you. Pretty cool webpage. Do I get any free prizes just for checking it out? Will my letter get posted in the nonexistent [Editor's Note: Yup, there was a time when the Mail Hall of Fame was nonexistent. History texts refer to this period as the "Dark Age"] mail hall of fame? Karen the Nonprocrastinator |
Join the bandwagon, you pliant sheep! Send mail! Glory and fame await you in the MAIL HALL OF FAME! Send your mail TODAY!
|
THE ANALYSIS:
Another key component of the equally key MAIL HALL OF FAME
page is the demographic analysis of audiences. From the current responses, our marketing team has determined that our page is read primarily
by college students (17% of whom are field hockey all-stars), prospective college students, and miscellaneous celebrities (Hip-hop artists,
politicians, etc.). While president and CEO Chris McNeil certainly enjoys such a market share, the MAIL HALL OF FAME staff nonetheless desires to expand its demographic base. For example, frequent visitors may notice more naked women on the web site in coming weeks to appeal to males ages 18-32, a major internet audience. Furthermore, to appeal to rapidly growing elderly audiences, the web site may begin to feature tips on handling embarrasing incontinence problems. These two audiences may even be addressed simultaneously by posting pictures of elderly naked women heroically handling their embarrassing incontinence problems. As Christian McNeil's Electric Presence grows, the staff of MAIL HALL OF FAME, too, will grow. Remember: capitalist pandering can ruin the content of this website, but only with your help! So visit often, and convince your boss that your company needs to buy advertising space on this site AT ANY PRICE! |
