:: smoothè ::

:: Monday, May 06, 2002::

well ok munmun linked me up ... so i guess i should expect lotsa traffic ... suddenly i've never felt so vulnerable online
:: Lucas Ho 8:26:35 PM [+] ::
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i've never been so hurt lost confused dejected disorientated shattered upset misled misguided rejected alone aloof abject i like you a lot but now you left me high and dry nothing or no one can console me i know you cant let go and neither can i it's sad but true your smile your touch your laughter your everything now shattered picture perfect tainted it's not your fault but i wish it could have been so different so very different i love you i do give me another try give us another chance i'm not worried about getting hurt again i don't wanna leave you i don't wanna lose you i love you
but

Lord help me to seek first Your Kingdom
:: Lucas Ho 5:15:44 PM [+] ::
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today's good friday ...
two thousand years ago - Jesus Christ dies on a cross after hanging on it for six hours

then three days later
:: Lucas Ho 9:08:16 PM [+] ::
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after more than 3 months of neglect, i have decided to officially revive this blog of mine!
[This landmark decision comes after much of the advice of close aquaintances, who have called this a "great read" (Alain Dudukais), and "simply fascinating!" (Tolm Uoyn) and so on]

i know i have much to do but right now the last thing i wanna do is my econs tys or chinese essay i should read as you like it but ill leave that for later right now im reading ulysees by james joyce hes perplexing but intriguing but on the whole rather fun doesnt this remind you of mollys solliloquy

oh well
:: Lucas Ho 8:58:02 PM [+] ::
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too dang lazy to update ....

been slumming on the couch becoming a tv junkie, and alternating between surfing aimlessly and becoming an internet junkie
am almost beginning to hate this holidays
went out today and walked the stretch from citylink to marina bay ... window shopping doesn't do much
came home and played sega roms ... some kickass games here

then i wrote this

Crazy Dream

The sun turned cold the day you left
But i hope it's for the best
I must confess, this is killing me

Because everytime you held my hand
I guessed you understand
But this love we once shared
Now sounds like a bad mix flared

I can't hold back all my thoughts
A cornucopia of shots
Like Polaroids washed up and dried

Yet it was never right between
Undecipherable, you gleaned
All those days, like a crazy dream

I'm all alone
Caught in this giant tidal wave
I've been swept out, don't know where i'm gonna stay
How long more, can't see no shore

dunno y or how ... i might set it to a tune for my first song ... bleah
:: Lucas Ho 11:36:37 PM [+] ::
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good morning

MTV most wanted was having a bsb special ... so i booted up

later today am gonna have a reality check with back to back eps of survivor africa and amazing race season finale
thats two reasons why i'm staying home .... my brother asked me to go out with him for some christmas shopping, but i declined
well

and i think the bin laden tape is crap ... the film is grainy and it lacks any sort of celluiod integrity ... it could have been a fake.
:: Lucas Ho 10:19:42 AM [+] ::
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night is still young .. dunno what to do
:: Lucas Ho 10:03:31 PM [+] ::
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yes! i've done it ... the time is now accurate
:: Lucas Ho 10:02:02 PM [+] ::
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hey! the time stamp is US Eastern. don't like it ... gotta find out how to make it GMT +0800 ...
:: Lucas Ho 9:58:22 PM [+] ::
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i've always thought that this kind of thing was self indulgent but it turns out to be quite theraputic. Personally i've never kept a constant journal(and i used to call myself a writer) ... but i will try to now. It's different keeping a digital journal, since you don't have to deal with illegible handwriting or ink smudges and you can easliy correct mistakes, but you also don't have to keep it under key and lock because it's on the web. Ironic huh ... but this isn't a journal ... its a blog.

I'm doing this since Jovian asked me to revive my webbie .... and i ended up making my first blog ... oh well

Self-expression has always been an inherent desire in man. Who hasn't ever wanted to let others know what you felt or thought, but never found the right words to say or the right way to say it? This is where the true Artist stands out. He can capture all the nuances of emotions and break out of idiosyncrasies for a fresh perspective and a shift in paradigm. i don't claim to be one, but i'm trying.

Yet expression is always constrained by what we should know better. Society at large and the establishment dictate what we should view. Censorship. Have you, like me, wondered who has the right to dictate what we should view and watch?
i never meant this to be a discourse on such matters but it is worth thinking about it ... i will get back to the more conventional blog the next time ... until then check out memepool. I do not recommend everything on it, but i take it with an open mind and a pinch of salt. If your sensibilities are offended by the links there, then bail out ...

more blogging and links next time.
:: Lucas Ho 9:50:58 PM [+] ::
...