Senaturd Jokes
A Sens fan went to Egypt to discover some ancient artifacts. He ended up going into this ancient tomb and found this lamp. The Sens fan decided to rub this lamp, then a geanie popped out. The geanie being very upset said " Say something truthful and if you don't, I shall make you disappear." The Sens fan replied, "Sens fans know hockey." Then the geanie made him disappear.
Did you hear that the Sens are getting a new coach? He's from China and his name is "Winonesoon"
Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in a park in Toronto, when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick, wedges it down the dogs collar and twists,breaking the dogs neck. A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident,and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Leafs Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Leafs fan," the little hero replied. "Sorry, since we are in Toronto, I just assumed you were." said the reporter and starts again. "Little Jays Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he continued writing in his notebook. "I'm not a Jays fan either," the boy said. "I assumed everyone in Toronto was either for the Leafs or Jays fan."What team do you root for?" the reporter asked. "im a Ottawa Senators fan." the child said. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Bastard from Ottawa Kills Beloved Family Pet.
Did you hear that on the Sens bus they hooked up a lie detector. Redden hooks himself up and says, "I think we have the best defense in the league." Immediately the detector goes off. Alfredsson hooks himself up and says, "I think I'm the best hockey player in the game." Immediately the lie detector goes off. Ray steps up and says, "I think.." and immediately the lie detector goes off.
A child stands in court before a judge. His parents are divorcing and the judge is asking him which parent he would like to live with. "Would you like to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! she beats me every night i dont want to live with her!". So the judge says "Ok, you can go live with your dad then." the child replies "No! he beats me every night as well! i dont want to live with him!" and the judge replies "Well if both your parents beat you then who do you want to live with?". The boy replies "The Ottawa Senators" The judge is puzzled. "why would you want to live with them?" he asks. The boy replies "Because they dont beat anyone!"
Three hockey fans were on their way to a game in Montreal when one noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road. They stopped and discovered a nude female, drunk and passed out. Out of respect and propriety, the Leaf fan took off his Leafs cap and placed it over her right breast. The Montreal fan took off his Canadiens cap and placed it over her left breast. Following their lead, the Senators fan took off his Sens cap and placed it over her crotch. 911 were called and, when the officer arrived, he conducted his assessment. First, he lifted up the Toronto Maple Leafs cap, replaced it, and wrote down some notes. Next, he lifted the Montreal Canadiens cap, replaced it, and wrote down some more notes. The officer then lifted the Ottawa Senators cap, replaced it, then lifted it again, replaced it, lifted it a third time, and replaced it one last time. The Montreal Fan was getting upset and finally asked, "What's the deal,? Why do you keep lifting and looking, lifting and looking?" "Well," said the firefighter, "I'm simply surprised. Normally, when I look under a Senators cap , I find an a-hole."
A woman was having a hard time sleeping, no matter what she did or any medicine she took, it just wasn't working,she hadn't slept well in weeks and she looked terrible. All of her friends were concerned about her and advised her to go to a specialist to help her out. To their surprise, the next time they saw her, they asked how she slept, and she said "oh wonderfully, that specialist is amazing!" shocked, the friends asked "what did the specialist do?" the woman smiled and replied "he gave me a ticket to a sens game,as soon as I got there and the game had begun,I was out like a light!"
A Leafs fan was driving home from work and he passed by the local priest. He stops and offers him a lift. The priest thanks him kindly and together they proceed to the church to drop the priest off. On the way they pass a man walking his dog on the other side of the road. On closer inspection the man was seen to be wearing a replica Senator sweater. Now, the Leafs fan that was driving just hated the Sens, and he suddenly felt an uncontrollable urge to run his car into him. He put his foot down on the accelerator and tried to hit him. At the last minute the Sens fan jumped out of the way, the driver of the car heard a bang, but he was sure he'd missed him. The two men proceeded to the church in silence. The Leafs fan pulled up and said, "Look Father, I'm really sorry about that incident back there. I don't know what came over me. Can you forgive me, Father??" The Priest replied, "Of course I can forgive you, my son. Don't worry - I GOT HIM WITH THE CAR DOOR."
SensSuck Jokes-Page 2 ->->->->
