Fred, a lawyer, is spending his day off fishing. Like a lot of men in their element he loses track of time until he realizes that he's going to be late for dinner with his wife. Fred gathers up his gear and tosses it into his fancy BMW, and then he speeds off towards home. As he crosses a long bridge he doesn't slow down, so naturally he is clocked by a trooper hiding at the other end of the bridge with a radar gun. Fred pulls over and the trooper walks up to his vehicle. "Got you speeding, boy. Get out yo' license and let me see a registration." says the trooper.
"Sorry, officer. I'm late getting home to my wife." Fred respectfully pleads.
"That's your problem, boy."
The trooper then notices what a nice car Fred has. He asks Fred what he does.
"I'm a rectum stretcher."
"What the hell is a rectum stretcher?" asks the trooper. "Well...what I do is insert several fingers into the rectum. I pull until I can insert my hands, then I use tools to stretch the ass about six feet." Intrigued, the trooper blurts "What the hell do you do with a six foot asshole?"
Fred smiles and says,"You give him a radar gun and stick him at the end of a bridge!"