| 17 may 2001 so i never really know how i'm going to start off these entires until i start typing.� it reminds me of the way i used to write papers (thank goodness i don't have to do that anymore) and write code.� i never do rough sketches or drafts or outlines... i just sit down, and click clack away.� which is a cool thing to witness... it's like having something in your hands just morph into its shape without you ever having any idea what it will become in the end. i just heard my neighboring co-worker chi-kai give his credit card number over the phone.� 16 digits.� i can't remember any of them, for the life of me.� not that i was trying to remember, but i find my memory is really bad.� not my personal memory, but my academic memory.� another co-worker of mine demonstrated this mnemonic power two weeks ago... we listed 20 nouns, and told him in order, giving him 5-10 seconds to fit those words into his system, and after we were done, he just spewed them out in order... he forgot two of them, but at least he remembered what nouns were on either end of the forgotten words! im-fucking-pressive. the power of the mind.� i read somewhere that in the old days, when things weren't documented as well in books and on the web and stuff, scholars and monks had amazing memories, and would stash pages and pages of stuff in their brains.� because life necessitated that at the time.� it makes me wonder... how dependent are we on technology?� how much lazier have our minds become? i will never get a palm pilot.� hee hee.� i told myself i would never get a cell phone, but now, i can't imagine life without one.� but here's the sad thing... i used to remember all sorts of phone numbers... but now, i can hardly recite my mom's number without thinking about it for a while.� shit!� i've become dependent on my cell phone's memory and my landline's speed dial!� how sad.� so no palm pilot for me... i don't want to forget my appointments and stuff without the aid of silly gadgets! ----- so yeah, yesterday's entry was kind of a bummer for me.� i realized last night (during a pensive smoke, of course) that the reason was because i was thinking of my webpage as a social tool.� a means to meet other people and reach out and touch them.� i was comparing my little site to these others, which have literally dozens upon dozens of links to other well-known web denizens.� the so-called "popular" cybercrowd. but that's not really the point of my journal.� i kind of lost perspective on it for a bit.� because all i've been doing for the past few days is web surfing, and i guess i just got lost in the amazement at how well-connected some of these people are. like i've said before, my journal is mainly for me.� it's my personal documentary.� it's so i don't forget what i've been doing or what i've been thinking, so i can look back some day in the future and remember what it was like in year 2001 or whatever. coming in at close second, this journal is for my friends.� people who know me.� it's for them to find out in their spare time what's going on with me.� i really wish, though, that my friends also had journals, so i could do the same with them as they are doing with me. and for those of you who don't know me, you're like the icing on the cake.� the best thing that could happen is that i hear from you, and we become friends or something, or we share something cool, regardless of the duration.� that way, the communication isn't just one-sided.� but hey... i know the standard reticence that goes with most web lurking, so it's fine if you prefer to just peer from a distance... i don't mind being an exhibitionist... hee hee. so my hits are down now.� apparently clara's mention of me must have really caused some of the more seasoned visitors to take a peek.� but that's ok.� see?� i don't mind!� yay! wow.� lots of exclamation points.� reminds of that _seinfeld_ episode where elaine gets into an argument with her boyfriend and publisher about the under/overuse of exclamation points.� i originally had more in the previous paragraphs, but i kind of edited them away after the reread. ----- one rule i impose on myself when it comes to e-mail is that i will rarely, rarely, delete or file away an e-mail unless i have replied to it.� it keeps me honest about keeping up correspondence.� i bet it is never the case where an e-mail repartee is ended by me.� i'm always the last one to have written.� and it's a good thing.� i think.� while i would love to get random e-mails from my pals, at least i know that i'm not the one who's not putting in the effort to stay in touch with my friends. ----- i wonder how my mind works sometimes.� i was writing an e-mail to my friend jennifer, and for some reason, the word "abhorrent" just burst onto the screen from my fingers.� i had to look up the word to make sure i was using it correctly, but i swear... that word just came out of nowhere.� how do i come up with funky vocabulary?� i bet i've never used the word "abhorrent" in any of my writing EVER, so what's up with my brain?� sheesh. jennifer also said something interesting... she was wondering if it was ok to ask me how i was doing, seeing how she reads my journal. of course it is!� this journal is just a snapshot of my thoughts, usually in the afternoon on the weekdays, so any other time, i'll have different feelings and ideas. the first time, though, i ever became conscious of the fact that people were reading was when i told jeremy about my procurement of my digital camera, and he said, "i know.� i read your journal."� and i was kind of stunned for a minute as i realized, "holy shit!� people are reading this stuff!"� how neat. but as far as jennifer's question goes, it's definitely not "superfluous," the word she used.� these journal entries aren't the all-encompassing thoughts of dardy... they're nowhere near that... it's just some bonus reading material for all you peeps out there.� the real me is still a ways below this surface, and as always, it's easily accessible if you just ask. c'est tout! |