| 6 july 2001 so i did some thinking (over a few cigarettes), and i realized that dude... this thing between me and amabelle is QUITE public!� i mean, all of you are reading about it... it feels strange to have a chase of mine out in the open for everyone to read, so i think i'm going to keep it private and do us both a favor of not having to deal with third parties knowing about what goes on with us. PSYCHE! what, did you fall for that?� heh.� nah, i'll keep writing about it, although there isn't that much to say about it right now.� after i finished my entry yesterday, i immediately IM'ed amabelle and told her that it was up.� she read it, and we chatted for like an hour afterwards.� nothing terribly good happened from my personal revelation, but nothing bad happened, either.� we just decided that it was a little too soon for anything to happen just yet... after all, i had just discovered her two weeks ago, and i had just met her for the first time two days ago. so it makes sense, right?� heh.� you girls out there who have made many attempts at dodging guys can tell me if that's just a ploy to let me down gently.� ha! dishi wrote me yesterday: "i think you've set the record for the most roundabout way of pseudo-asking-out/indicating relationshipal interest that i've ever seen." really?� i don't think it's all that strange to me.� hm.� *ponder* well, anyway, yesterday was quite an emotional ride for me. - my heart began the day bouncing all over the place - bursting crush feelings abounded, and got spewed all over my coworkers and friends - the outpouring gush of words on my journal entry - eager and fearful anticipation as amabelle was reading it while our IM window was still up - calmness and feelings of maturity during the chat we had afterwards - happiness in the way the whole thing was executed - giddiness in the parking lot after going home - mopey lovesickness when i mistakenly popped in some sarah mclachlan - a rejuvenation when i switched to inspiral carpets and meat beat manifesto - finally, effects of amnesia when i just forgot about everything and played taiko so i'm back to normal now.� calm.� composed.� heart beating regularly. but i still like the girl.� a lot. ----- i was thinking about eric's origination of the word "incestuous" to describe the group of eric, adam, amabelle and me.� it's such a naughty and kinky word!� hm.� does it really reflect the nature of our burgeoning friendships?� i just think that we all kind of started our journals out there as atomic elements, without a big base of affiliation and stuff... we weren't really active with all the other online journalists out there, so we just grew by ourselves without my fanfare.� and slowly, by some chance happenings, we just happened to come upon each other, converse a bit, and decided that we at least had some interest in each other. i came across eric because tammy mentioned his site, and i hoped on over and was very impressed.� a few e-mails here and there.� somehow we got to talking about relationships and our ex's, and it just went from there. adam was from the rice bowl journals... i recognized his picture, and i remembered him from my stanford days... and i discovered amabelle from one of adam's links about extra coverage from their ocean beach bbq a few weeks ago.� i thought she was attractive, so i just stayed on and kept reading.� i immediately tried to find an excuse to e-mail her, so i told her that she needed a guestbook... ha!� which she heeded and that's why i'm the first one to sign it.� :) hm.� i don't think we'll keep talking about each other at the rate we're doing now.� a lot of why i talk about them is to document my personal reactions and opinions of them.� there's only so much analysis i'm willing to do as we become better friends, because my journal isn't about praising or criticizing people i know.� i just like to put first impressions out there, and i've already done that with amabelle and adam.� so i'll just reserve one more spot for when i meet eric for the first time. of course, if i get a chance to go out with amabelle, i think i'd talk about her a lot more.� beware!� it might be boring for you guys.� hee hee.� no, i think i'd try to control myself. so that's that.� it's more than i wanted to speak on this topic. fingercuffs!� (HAHAHAHAHA)� *wink*� adam, you don't get it?� hee hee. ----- so in between my moping around thinking about amabelle (due to listening to that damn sarah mclachlan) and my zesty rebirth to inspiral carpets' _revenge of the goldfish_ album (isn't that an AWESOME name for an album?), i took a dump in my own private bathroom. i looked at my toilet paper roll... all big and puffy.. and i was instantly ecstatic that i have my own bathroom.� because of what?� because of toilet paper control. yeah.� toilet paper control.� back at lenox, i shared the bathroom with two other people... one other guy and one other girl.� damn that TP went fast... we would go through a roll every three days or so.� and i'm like, WHAT THE FUCK?� they would have to keep buying HUGE costco-sized packages of TP every month or something, and i'd get stuck with part of the bill, and i'm like, "dude... who the hell is hogging all the fuckin' toilet paper?" well, i realized it was probably the girl.� when she was on her period, she would wrap her tampons and pads in MASSIVE amounts of TP... i guess to keep the bathroom from stanking it up.� which i didn't mind... but then again... i didn't want to pay for her hygiene needs, dammit!� and besides, there's STILL something wrong, because even when she wasn't on her period, the TP would disappear at an alarming rate... what, you need FOURTEEN squares of TP for each dump?� shit, man... i'm personally kind of a six-square kinda guy. so that's the good thing about the new place.� jay and i both have our own bathrooms.� so for me, that equals... yeah, you got it, TOILET PAPER CONTROL.� i'm so happy with the little things in life.� *sigh* all right.� i'm writing this before lunch.� not much else to say. yo!� master chief!� *wink*� howYOUdoin? there might be a taiko slumber party tonight.� how cute.� maybe we'll watch _sixteen candles_ or something and giggle over people we like. or maybe i'll just get piss drunk, puke, and pass out. beware! |