They Are Children
Not Statistics

Story 1
 

I would like to tell you the story of my experience; of what has happened to two of my grandsons.

When my daughter was 20 she became involved with a man that had been
married before, and he has a son by this previous relationship. Not long after she met this man, she and he moved into a home together.

My daughter was pregnant. This man did not have a job. I asked my daughter how he
earned his money, because he was buying a motor cycle, and joining health spa, and buying jewelry, and spending quite a bit of money. Neither of them were working. Well, she told me that she was getting money from A.F.D.C.!!
I was talking to her on the phone at the time. I told her that I did not raise her to do that,
and advised her it was against the law to live with a man and tell welfare she did not
know who the father of the baby is. That this is wrong and dishonest. That he should work
and pay for their child, and support them.
I didn't know that everytime she and I spoke on the phone he listened.

She had the baby, a boy. He was very small at birth. I found out later that it was because of the parents using drugs. My daughter would bring the baby for visits and let him stay over night some times. The father was asking me for money during this time, I told him I had no money to give him. He got angry.

When the baby was 6 weeks old, my daughter asked me to keep him for the week-end. I did. They said that they were going camping and the baby was too young to go. I found out a long time later, that my daughter, this man, and all his family, went to Nevada for them to get married. He did not want me, or our family, to be a part of it. They came home took the baby and did not mention that they had been married. I never saw them or the baby again
for five years.

During that time she had a second little boy.
I did not see or was never able to call my daughter this entire time. The farther of the grandchildren did not want contact with us. During this time they were using, and selling
drugs, and cheating welfare. The paternal grandmother kept all of the money and told my daughter whom she could see, and taught her how they cheat welfare by having checks come to their family homes in different cities around the same state.

Finally my daughter did contact me secretly, but only after 5 years. I finally saw the children and her. She finally told him she was seeing me.
They let the boys stay overnight once. This is when my grandsons told me, as we were driving home, that the older son of this father had been sexually molesting my grandsons. I called my daughter to tell her. I told her to call a therapist to tell about this. I know that they must report this. She called and the boy was
arrested. There was a court order. He was to stay away. No contact with my grandsons. Soon after this my daughter left this man.

During the divorce, the mediator said that he was very abusive, and that his family had a long history of incest and molestation. Fathers brother was also a convicted molester. My grandsons were left in the care of this person many times, I found out. This man stalked my
daughter during the divorce. The family court placed the boys with me as both parents were selling and abusing drugs. They were to visit at my home.

During this time this man was very abusive to me. Finally my daughter got the children back. After a while, there was a three week period that she was moving into another home, she did not tell him where. And he missed some visits. Family court gave the boys to him. I have not been able to see or talk to them or any contact. The Father will not allow me to.

My daughter has left the state and deserted the children. I hired an attorney to try to get visits with the boys, as the most I have had is two visits to McDonalds, supervised by the children's attorney. They have an attorney
because I petitioned the court to appoint one for the children.

The father has bullied the boys into saying that they do not want to see me. This father moved the boy that molested them into the same house that they all live in  with the paternal grandmother, against a court order. A neighbor
called me to let me know about it. I called the children's attorney .She did have him move the molester out BUT IT WAS ONLY TEMPORARILY. She filed with the court to let him move back in the home with the children
permanently. AND THE COURT ALLOWED IT.

The attorney and the mediator all say I keep
harping about the molestation; that I need to have no contact with my grandsons. I send packages for birthdays and holidays. But never
get an answer. I have reported this to CPS. They say that unless the boys say that they're still being abused they cannot do anything. I have spoken to the mediator, written the Judge. No response. I have used all my savings, and no longer have an attorney. I do not know what to do.