1. You say 'ya'll' or 'over yonder'
2. You have five or more relatives living in the same hick town as you
3. You live in a small hick town
4. There's a bar for every thousand people in the town
5. You, or someone in your household, own a shotgun
6. You hunt squirrels for target practice
7. You actually stop and pull over to view the roadkill
8. You pull the guns out at least once a week to 'polish' them
9. Your dad pulls the guns out when you bring a guy home
10. Sitting on the front pourch is an every day event
11. There is ALWAYS some sort of alcoholic drink in your house...preferrably beer
12. Even the women chew tobacco
13. Every spare container is filled with spit
14. EVERY animal is welcomed into the house
15. You've slept in hay so company could have your bed
16. Someone in your family is a sheep farmer
17. You have cousins who actually got married
18. You've thought about marrying your cousins
19. You only have ONE main road in your town
20. Going to 'the city' means the nearest city with a Wal Mart in it
21. A night on the town includes going to the nearest Wal Mart
22. A date always includes looking at his shotguns
23. You impress a girl by showing her your shotguns
24. Everyone in your family is missing at least one tooth
25. Your date is threatened with being the target for target practice if he breaks your heart
26. Your skin is permanently colored brown from being covered in dirt
27. Taking a bath means swimming in the nearest creek
28. Your Grandfather still makes his own moonshine
29. You can call your Uncle 'Daddy'
30. Even your one-year-old brother has his own shotgun
31. You raise and kill your own meat
32. Your dream job is to work at Wal Mart so you can use their ten percent discount
33. You don't brag about your kids, you brag about what your husband shot the night
before
34. You�re afraid of gay people
35. When you turn on a faucet in your home, the water is brown
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