| Chapter 9: The Crash Beyonce sat on the bed of her suite thinking. Her feelings for Lindell kept growing the more she recalled the incident where she'd gone into his guestroom, and she'd discovered that he still loved her, well not loved her, but at least had feelings for her as far as Beyonce knew. She sat there for hours thinking about what had happened with her and Jay Z, and what had happened with her and Lindell. She thought about who made her happiest. And she thought about the ring, the necklace, and the trip to Paris. Why did Jay Z make her feel so guilty? In a subtle way, every time she was with him, he made her feel bad�Like she owed him. She knew Lindell was right. But how Jay Z had her now�.blackmailed almost, it made her feel sick. She knew that if Jay Z asked her to do something, anything, she would do it. And it scared her. She didn't tell anyone about how she was feeling. Every night she would sit on her suite bed and think, and cry. And not tell anybody. She wanted so desperately to talk to Lindell. To hear his voice. To see him. But she couldn't. A week went by. Nothing changed. Then Lindell called. "Hey B, how are you? Wus goin on?" he asked. "Nothin...Listen, I cant talk to you anymore�" she said. "Why? This got somethin to do with Jay?" he said. "No. No�it doesn't Lindell. I'm scared now. I'm really scared now." Beyonce said. Her voice cracked. "Why? What's wrong?" he asked concerned. "I don't know. I just�don't know. Don't talk to me though. Don't call me." She said. "We cant even be friends anymore?" he asked. "No. No we can't." Beyonce said crying. "Tell me what this is all about and why you're so upset B�tell me" his voice was comforting to her, but she didn't confide in him this time. "I can't." She said. She hung up. He called her back and hung up on him again. Kelly, Michelle, Solange and Beyonce's parents noticed a change in Beyonce's behavior. They were worried about her and insisted she see a physiatrist but Beyonce refused. She went to see Jay Z more, and slept over at his house more often. The people close to her worried about her. They thought the best thing to do was to take her home, and they did. She was the same way at home. Schizophrenic and seemed out of her mind. She was driven crazy by keeping things inside her that she wanted to get out. All because she felt like she owed Jay Z and couldn't tell Lindell what was wrong. One day she lost it. Lindell had come over to see her and to see if he could help her get back to "normal" again. "What are you doing here? I thought I told you I cant see you." Beyonce said. She seemed ok to him at first. "I came to see you�.people been tellin me you aint b een ok�whats wrong?" he asked. "Nothin's wrong. What's wrong is that you're here when I told you not to." Beyonce said. "Beyonce�tell me what's wrong. You know you cant hide it from me." He said. "I can and I will." Beyonce said. "C'mere," he said. She didn't come. He came closer to her like she was a wounded puppy who needed help but would run if some one who just wanted to help them got too close. He hugged her. She started screaming. "GET OFF ME GET AWAY FROM ME GET AWAY FROM ME!" She kept yelling and crying at the same time. "Shhhh" he said as he held her with his strong but gentle arms. "GET AWAY FROM ME!" she yelled trying to twist out of his grip. She couldn't and after minutes of fighting him she stopped. She relaxed and gave up. She fell asleep limp in his arms and he lay her down on the couch. "I'm really worried about her yall�" Lindell told her family. "I think she needs to go to see some one for professional help," Michelle said. The others agreed. Chapter 10 |