| ForWorse (older) |
| Cloud Nine (4/2/01) Distilled until tasteless Cleansed until spotless Burned until painless ~~~~~~~~~~ Proposition: Submission (3/20/01) Bars, spaces, and all inside impossible to free oneself without a motive and why try when there is free cable TV, good food, and sympathy? I propose a makeover in which it is fashionable to appear caged boxed (unkempt) smiling on the inside and frowning on the outside. I fashion these concrete walls to inspire all to do nothing but watch TV, eat, and feel sad! It is as lovely As tuna fish (mutilated) and daisies, though not roses, for those would be too tacky for The Trendy. I love working for my dependence, don't you? ~~~~~~~~~~ An Unsettling Dream (3/12/01) They don't know what it's like To wake up every morning, trapped Reaching to grasp anything tangible And finding only thin air They don't know what it's like To smile the falsest possible smile Conforming frustratedly, Against all that you stand for They don't know what it's like To detest it all Doing absolutely nothing about it And detesting yourself because of that They don't know what it's like To look around at everybody Shunning yet envying all you see And wishing you were completely blind They don't know what it's like To live every day expecting some change Waiting for someone to know what it's like To live a pleasant nightmare ~~~~~~~~~~ At A Glance (3/1/01) And my vision just keeps blurring. Swept away, the moment That should have been captured for eternity. The clock keeps ticking, It won't ever stop for me, And I'll try to feel what is not there. Incongruous yet perfect, Idealized yet so real. And my vision just keeps blurring. ~~~~~~~~~~ Who (11/17/00) Whoever let me out I'll kill them I'll rape them and fuck them and eat them I've lost all control. I want to lie with you; So comfortable, So beautiful. And I will kiss you so softly, So incredibly softly... I hate whoever let me out I'll rip them apart I'll feed on them and fuck them and destroy them I've lost all control stop me I need you. (I'm still waiting...) ~~~~~~~~~~ Just (10/10/00) Just a fragment of my mind now, how That clamor in my chest Would rise as he would walk right by me How my heart Would beat so rapidly; how my lungs Filld not only with air, But an incredible excitement. Just some ink scribbled wildly, about This madness I went through, This insanity of which I now Know not of This unappeasable yearning that Was somehow satisfied Enough to stop, much to my chagrin. Just a ridiculous notion, that I could finally hurt Again, that I could obsess again, That I could Stretch the unstretchable fabric of Reality again, That I could think of him the whole night. Just the past. ~~~~~~~~~~ Icicle (9/14/00) My eyes light up like fire And like clockwork it goes (I go) Retreat into this callousness This seemingly eternal absence of tears Like clockwork ~~~~~~~~~~ A Midsummer Night's Dream (8/29/00) We gather: An insomniac middle-aged man. A quiet young girl. A secretive alcoholic. An intelligent, successful businesswoman. A young couple, ready to party. A shy and mysterious little boy. and You. Others inconspicuously pour in: you are noticed. These eyes constantly flash toward you in excitement Nothing is able to divert their attention from yourself Our motives are the same; Our objectives, very opposite And for one moment Our paths of vision merge. Filled with nervousness and surprise, these eyes turn away, Only to return to your unnoticing face. This night I still remember you. Dozing off as I replay the split-second climax of the night; It is emblazoned into my mind. And as I drift into a sleepless sleep, I remember you. ~~~~~~~~~~ A Sa�da (7/19/00) Fading away Falling away I'm going I can't believe what I'm seeing I can't believe what I'm feeling What I'm hearing Smelling Tasting (after all this time) Take me to where we were before Take me to where I understood When my heart climaxed on your bed Where your declaration of absence of love for me once occured Take me back There's not much time (I cannot believe what I am saying) Swimming in the warm water Singing in the careening car Writing on the cold bed Hurting on the inside Fading away Falling away I don't want to go ~~~~~~~~~~ Metaphor Missing (7/10/00) No need to shroud my words No need to hide myself No need to shadow my soul (All can see It's in the dark) I bleed He's far from feeling He's far from knowing He's far from being He is unhappy And I cannot do anything I am helpless Literally, helpless (watch me cringe, watch me cry) I reached out to him before (figuratively) Fuck the figures I need him ~~~~~~~~~~ Family (6/30/00) I don't know what to do To bring me closer to you I don't know how many secret statues to build in your name How many would you like? How many can you see? I've only known you for a millisecond All I know is your face Your foreign accent Your ability to hide It only took one millisecond I don't know why you're there Connected to me By blood And not mind I don't know how to explain Perhaps it's just a phase For our separation is inevitable Though our mental separation needs no assistance Do you know? I doubt it... ~~~~~~~~~~ Memories of Rio (6/30/00) At twilight Where the ocean melted into the sky I died, happy Not completely happy but happy ~~~~~~~~~~ Faith/Hope/Love (6/26/00) I feel as though I'm speaking into thin air When speaking to you I feel as though I'm walking with a beautiful monster When walking with you The wall between us is translucent The lights are dim I reach my hand up to the barrier You stare dumbly, unknowing I follow my blind lust You just smile... In the dreamworld that is my mind I extend my reach And you grab hold Hold me close to you, And fail To release me ...as my dreamworld fades so does your smile I continue to walk with my beautiful monster Knowing that you will never stop to grab hold But I refuse to terminate my faith my hope for your Love page1 index |