ForBetter (newer)
Stained (7/15/01)

walk, it won't hurt
bleed, it won't end
fly, it won't help
more
less
maybe it's right/maybe wrong/so
so?

run faster

-given up-
derailed, yourself,          (delicious)
yourself has all you need
and you don't know,
don't know just how fucking
lucky you are.  to be        (remember)
admired and liked, and
fucking
adored.  give me a break -
and thirty fucking dollars.  (can)


~~~~~~~~~~


Hidden/Fantastic (7/14/01)

I.
bruised scarred battered
torn chipped blemished
dulled smashed frightened
.perfect.

stashed away beyond all vision
in your fantastic hiding spot
guarded by a digestable exterior,
as well as expertise

for one to guess
that you would hide
is quite unheard
of - and how strange
it is that I
should seek this jewel
_like a smiling child_
count to fifteen
ready or not
here I

II.
I feel insulted two
to the right one left one
right where are you

III.
This sparkling gem
So deeply dug
Only brought out
By sentiment, time,
and love itself

afraid to put it
on display, but
why?  reach out to
me, I want to
view the so-torn
once-gleaming rock
(so fantastically hidden)

just one taste.


~~~~~~~~~~


Stalemate in a Moderntown (7/7/01)

bland, like egg shells wrapped
in styrofoam, covered in gelatin
(animal bones) they make us
chilly and cure diseases like
leukemia and utter boredom

sleepy, like a fuzzy blanket with
fuzzy teddy bear and fuzzy
love causes us to feel all warm
inside, like the black coffee
we drank the night before

itchy, like swollen puncture holes
caused by mosquitoes and our
backyard, all green and trim because we
mowed it three days ago, which just
so happens to be Independence Day


~~~~~~~~~~


Human, Being (6/16/01)

The unexpected entanglement
               profundity
               rapture
In a good heart,
a lost child,
a confused old soul,
a deep swamp,
a saddened hopefulness.
  can one go through
  without latching on
  without caring
  without screaming because of this torrent
                                    hurricane
                                    downpour
  from the big gray sky?

a provocation
a yearning
a discovery
a sense of loss
connects


~~~~~~~~~~


Neodisillusionment (6/5/01)

one
Ashes, smoke, urban clouds?
Death, tar, abandoned mine shafts?
Rock, earth, terra cotta...
Sky, sun, ceiling high?

two
as I swam in the Red Sea,
as the bees pollinated the violets,
  as sunny grape vines,
     cold apples,
     burning algae
         were,
   I was these and
         more:
        I was
         this.

three
from the outside it seems
so small so undistinguished so
floating stopped all brain
waves to determine velocity.
         zero.

four
    There,
          just
  here

  Now.


~~~~~~~~~~


Necessarily Oblivious (6/?/01)

Except when the snow floats and the spiders weave
when the sands shift and the ice melts,
when the adobes crumble and the chisms widen,
when the coral spreads and the stars luminesce,
when the sequoias grow and the winds chill,
when the hearts beat and the clouds gray,
when the geysers spray and the fires blaze,
when the waves splash and the volcanoes erupt,
when the rain pours and the crickets jump,
when the sun rises and the minutes pass,
I am aware.


~~~~~~~~~~


Dreams/Suburbia (6/?/01)

in a candlelit tower
in a blossoming rosebud
in a close proximity
in a faraway future
in a throbbing artery
in a violet idea
in a glimmering crystal

fantasy.

in a gloved hand
in a plastic bag
in a pita wrap
in a shopping cart
in a laser printer
in a garage
in a display window

reality.


~~~~~~~~~~


Rationalized Analyzation of Nonsense or Rx (5/28/01)

Miles away, you're the only hope for normality,
or what is seen as such to the general population, anyway.
Such a void; in time and space, in head and thought,
you and I are very much apart, considering priority.
This is much too rational for me, however, to be analyzing in this manner:
You are as abstract as this feeling for you gets to be.
Intense, unjustified passion in need of an excuse or two,
Though I see no problem in masterminding three.
And furthermore, there is a girl, which truly problematic
when i have my sights distinctly set on a man far away.
Depression is the immediate result, followed by an empty feeling,
accompanied by fatigue and the need to live a fantasy.
I wouldn't rather forget about it though, it is my fuel,
the energy of a young bisexual who revels in complexity.     
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