| Really Frickin' New Self-Defeating Jealousy (4/4/02) Along the short street of difference was I, glorious as ever, surrounded by a pine forest, wretched coffee, and a bizarre diversity. Never had I before been able to gaze-dance among such a gorgeous multifariousness as I had then, but then, again, the dancing stopped short as per a once-notorious obstacle hindered my mindsight. And rightfully so, by hindsight: the magnified gaga ogling proved harmless to all except for me, too proud a great bald eagle to offer my eyes to prey more welcome, or even redwood. Though, I reckon, he is still my manifest destiny. ~~~~~~~~~~ Drama (3/20/02) Imagine a people tangled together like spiderlegs curled or a spiderweb trapping Imagine a plastic mask pasted on a painted (gold, gray, purple) countenance/clownface Imagine a Hamlet or an Othello gargling incessantly over rigor mortis and her deceit Imagine a faggot bawling over his shattered vinyl LP or a fag extinguished by a tasslehaired middle- aged postmadonna Imagine your royal highnesses demanding for a passed law or leg of mutton or crispy heretic This all belongs in your imagination ~~~~~~~~~~ see to believe (3/18/02) still teeming seemingly with glitter gold sparkle dust glistening liquid glass and candy cane wonderland still yawning steadily bright but not glittering glazed but not glossy and yet bitter tasting ~~~~~~~~~~ dreamPush (1/27/02) sleepy wistwavings streaming along a master ubiquity strangely reversed a realization that yet we�re not well still gladly accepting a perilous state still barely belonging to any one crowd still refusing warmth in the name of my health reluctant detachment I see as not there a wavy white blur, a foreboding mirage consider defiant rebellion while I push for my dreams and false life to explode ~~~~~~~~~~ Trying to be True (1/15/02) fear of the ordinary plaguing our passages into womanhood your natural being a self doubt money grabber caring for the cute the nice the extranormal when all the girls want to do is curl their hair buy pink skirts and matching blouses and all you want to do is curl their hair buy pink skirts and matching blouses the true cannot deny the falselove why do you? we still look upon the same cute nice extranormal with a kind of holy reveration as though she held in her mouth the sureness we both need to thrive when in reality she blocks our sight with a shadow of failure I no longer see one three but rather three ones ~~~~~~~~~~ modern art (12/31/01) What passage of ivory stinglightingly clearly hardly sparkly curly unfair moreso lessso afraid wild and there here afair far fairy taled came for us with a red carpet fancy windchild my iron metal techno and contemporary haircut it lasts as we don't (just sounds delicious) ~~~~~~~~~~ Saudade: A Reflection (12/28/01) Imbedded a hue, organic and unreal Forever intelligent, leading me on A concept unhidden and telling and severance Never once escaped my nightmares nor dreams For we all once knew of a metaphor missing Too one-sided, formerly new and regone A barrier, wily and famous among us Or myself, one says in the land of the free Again and again, it's incredible, lifelike More than a delusion or Southern wet dream It reached far beyond that, my sacred obsession When barely forgetting an unbuttoned shirt An unshaven neck A night of uncertainty Now tattooed with a mark of doom Her name and face too sweet and life to detest Not as raw, not as free Not as untamed - just pastthoughts a backtrod a swim down into the most cruel undertow on this side of the globe ~~~~~~~~~~ Lifting the Fog (12/15/01) Glinting gemmy diamond jelly core of cave of self-dependent orifices, orations, obituaries everything sacred and smile everything holy and male everything crack will not kill (you) a central transvestite a central unbeknownst to mystery tumblers smashed thru the window ohhh moan a pain of kings unrelenting sensual barraging passionate unbearable candid for my land is your land is my land is burnt away all because "I don't know" because "friends" and self-loathing self-deprecation not entirely alien a green being to your shiny interior ~~~~~~~~~~ distracted (12/09/01) enter exit flannel sucrose barter exit exit enter goosebumps Santa enter homosexual exit enter peripheral vision license tobacco exit enter ente portrait digital exiten action ter portable magic enit shorter eraser ex en hors d'ouvres entere soup diet exit MTV relatives (.) nterex abhor black protein exexext tailend eleventh hour teni absolute acne jigsaw nrex for it mutability grizzly en treble kombat exit exit enterexitenter enter enter piano exitenter exit exit exit why live by market dividends when oscillating personals reflect a personality defined by momentary tastes? a true self given true self loved is never fluid never guessed but rather is engrained so grand there is no key nor drama mask. ~~~~~~~~~~ dreamStory (12/05/01) of a cowboy galloping into the campfire with cottoncandy scimtars and paper clip guns of his fearless cavorting to escape the sea monsters pale and lackluster laughing and maddening! great o Known is he as the Beloved Color Child printed into existence yet tasting so real a far cry from honey hives residing in towering tropical trees a grand many galaxy dancing before him! and so he is brought with his slicked-back hair a brightness and magnitude a caliber powerful yet better than two knives than threats or a bloody forehead he is offered a holiday: numb and moribund! ~~~~~~~~~~ Then and Ever (11/30/01) I think it's time to create and I think it's time to cry and I think it's time to wipe that toothy grin off your face child, you're only a child and that's all you are. Child, when you were young when I was young we would sad small and bawl big and pools would form where we cried. You can never take that away. When I grow up I will thin out and the girls will love me and maybe I can sleep with the nightlight off and I won't have to lie to my friend. If it's better to die or to be bitter, I take no part in this. We are here for imagination and hobby and embraces, not for paper cuts and biographies and gasoline. I think it's time to snooze and I think it's time to sing. But most of all, I think it's time to sob because we all can feel remorse, and we all can sleep with the lights off. ~~~~~~~~~~ Aspirations (11/30/01) Maybe the lady can't depart a broken down tram a hilly discourse a bumpy asperity Maybe she isn't aware of her own of her likeness of her uterus of her collarbone Maybe we can find the truth in her whether banked or embedded she pushes away from a now fargone manhood testosterone candy and Arabic numerals verbose babies with speech impediments Maybe they're inside her tucked away like some normal or a once thought laugh at wannabe or an animal ~~~~~~~~~ to suck me off (11/01) We fucking perservered in our own right to increase our blood flow our heart beat determined to lactate genesis of our last resort, our final resting place known as awake until four crying because our valium is locked away in the stabbing eyes of our best friend(s)(?) galvanized a new enemy word unshredded and kept whole slime and archaic like his juicy mouth preparing for an adventure ~~~~~~~~~~ independence (11/25/01) once more clawed by the kitten who wanted to be milked who wanted to be purried wanted to be a tigress fancy pearly for the sultan who could not be helped who could not be worried by such a petty mess while enchanted by a woman a grand piano smashed a sword sheathed great and gone please don�t release her quickly please don�t condemn her fully to the once forgotten wonderland of candles bombs volumes of sand endure her winter teach her graces touch her with your breath may she never look over to the once familiar faces so as to breathe as her own once again a satin gown a spiteful stare a teddy bear ~~~~~~~~~~ Life Lesson: How To Be A Modern Savage (11/07/01) 1 (prelude) jewel opium cloud bless-ed type key wormwormworm and worm 2 The wine God told me a story about a madam who had her hair cut. Not just any madam, this madam was technologically perfect in every possible way, ready to stamp her stamp her approval onto anything that smelled fancylike and halo. Except there was just one problem with this: make it two: she herself was colorblind, and fancied reptiles over mammals. In the human world this was unacceptable, and she died at his feet as soon as he penetrated her. Pity, it was; she had such radiant hair and golden teeth. He never lets me forget this tale of herbal remedy and taste buds. He says we must all carry out our potent full potential. We must photograph every step in euphoria. In cellophane we believe, we believe, good will prevail, for there is no other way to understand. There is no other way to alphabetize shamans� fingerprints, nor is there anyother way to sing about bonnies or lasses or kyrie. It would just be another vibration in the good sound of proudness and acceptance. Streamlined. They tell us not to tar our insides and skin our eyes. Virgins they are, as virgin as the holy mother bathed in spermicidal jelly and aborted fetuses. Really, mother, I don�t want to relinquish the Internet. What a sadness it would be, what a pornography it would entail. I would cry, I would weep for the tragic hero, the carbon martyr, the acrylic, the stone pillars, and especially the pastels, yes, the pastels. ~~~~~~~~~~ heartbudget (11/06/01) brittle prosperity burning the corneas gasping for air and a deep purple canvas smear sangria salesman doorstep for everyday star-shooting artemis piercing my every whim Jesus, do you hear me? Jesus, do you believe in me? My home lives in a right time. In a right place. In my mind running rampant. Like seagulls. And graffiti. And crack cocaine. And clowns? And paper bags. Wind pastmebyes sleeping awake full round. Did you not see my gun? Shooting deep? Shooting long? Make a hole in your lungs? Looking straight into my eyes: God. My only friend. The only one who understands my monetary military tombstone. Packed in ice. In sand. page2 page3 index |