Not-as-new Stuff



terrorism (9/11/01)

mini sight miniscule
web tangled
spider baby

my black foreign love in a
white marble figurine
euphoric yet wounded
his lovely garden of daffodils
untouched bleach scarlet blue
oxygen still aplenty still breathing
still alive still dancing
spinning like a child's toy
in a child's cradle in a
child's room full of glow-in-the-dark
stars without shadow without
upredictability without his
blazing fire suicide disbelief

september eleventh two
thousand one and tears


~~~~~~~~~~


Sunday Silver Bells (9/9/01)

we know satan is
handcrafting some
new gadget to
wave in front of our
faces while we sit in
front of the fireplace waiting
for it to snow

The chills are comforting
They remind me of:
Christmas
Jackets
Eternity
Lights

lights not hurting my eyes
not blinding me and
leading me into a blanket
of sand
stinging my skin
a blanket so thin
it can do nothing to warm me
nor our upsidedown world

so we sit in front of the
fireplace wishing and
hoping that everything will
just be okay just
be okay


~~~~~~~~~~


Preapology (9/3/01)

it�s only in this disillusionment
my vessels widen
my smile widens
i feel like a million bucks
stomping all over me
hooves grinding into my abdomen

so, well
all, so well
so

don�t tell me to talk
what if my jaw doesn�t feel like removing this clamp
from my wrist
my jugular vein of thought

deaf in my right ear
revel in the silence
or forever hold your
.piece.

i know i would
given the chance
i know i would break the rules
i would speak
the silence would end
and my life would finally be
endangered

i am
so sorry
(so?)


~~~~~~~~~~


Scarlet (8/29/01)

If we all stood in a line
Waiting to be picked off
If you could stand the time and the sideglances
Often iced and disenchanted
If we all held hands
Feeling the hope in the bloodflow
I would understand you
I would understand this enigma

We would have nothing to ask
Nothing to speak
Nothing at all

We are all so delicate
I fear this crystal will shatter
(So intricate and passionate)
But it�s pink and full of tears
That would wash us all away

And I would feel so very alone


~~~~~~~~~~


roadkill (8/26/01)

mercilessly all they leave
speeding past
bloody entrails and skid marks
i stare
disbelieving and broken
glistening and torn

the noise of bones cracking
and laughing bigots
washed away so quickly by the wind

the soft fur
spread across the asphalt
crying

the sun microwaving my skin
as i lie
waiting to be dragged home


~~~~~~~~~~


Reasons (8/21/01)

Why:

Because of your unmatched wit and charm
resisted by few and far between

Because of your evershy heart
propelled by a fascinating communication starvation

Because of your always-nonchalant attitude
contrasted with a subtle (but strong) concern

Because of your delicately woven form
furnished with a more-than-pallatable exterior

Because of your steadfast loyalty
untouched by an otherwise suffocating attachment

Because of the discreet impossibility
Of ever having the chance to taste reciprocality


~~~~~~~~~~


dependence (8/13/01)

inch by inch
freedom is lost
clinging and breathing rapidly
trying to clutch onto
all that buzzes and sways calmly
without the gentle breeze
that would otherwise solace
this vile need


~~~~~~~~~~


Comfort (8/13/01)

What happens when I go to rest my head
Only to find that you have disappeared
Gone off to your Sunshine and Good Novels
Pretty Trees and Marine Life
Lovely Girls with Long Flowing Hair?

and only this remains
for I have fallen and been rendered unconscious


~~~~~~~~~~


viewpoint of The miniscule (8/10/01)

So well-versed in the usual
Humdrum toothtapping

trapped inbetween
smaller and smaller
and frail

So well-versed in the usual
Ho-hum selfdenial


~~~~~~~~~~


Hazy (8/7/01)

getting lost in my own
i found you
a starving oasis
for
my starving child:
crawling on all fours
ready to be fed
expecting to be loved
and sobbing just
because

back to that time i go
gone to get lost in my own
once again
a mirage


~~~~~~~~~~


The Still of His Night (8/3/01)

it all goes Downhill from here
ever since the stormy feast,
the hayfields, the Accelerator.
and your Hurt,
so full, yet so beautifully shaded.
impossible.
and i want to march back to You
again
and
again
until the Sun rises so very far ahead.
so very far.


~~~~~~~~~~~


Futures (7/31/01)

and we think
with the empty boxes
infinite cockroaches
and biology

i somehow wonder if this can last
if this can go so quickly so often
or if it will suddenly materialize
into a lovely prismatic rock
bending every ray of white light
that ever flies through


~~~~~~~~~~


Revelation (7/31/01)

beams of light splash through the leaves
so gracefully, burning my eyes, even though
they are filmed with salty tears,
the results of this revelation that, at some moment,
this light will no longer be able to penetrate
my forever-darkness


~~~~~~~~~~


ode to a wannabe grecian (7/22/01)

to a wannabe grecian
grape vines and all
don�t think
you can�t, i can�t,
               cannot
we somehow cannot?
                   why
why
           why
(don�t think for a second)
somehow harder to say this
with these black olives angels olympia
this starryy-eyed

ever can�t we not [contract�ion]
and it takes me (take me)

don�t think don�t even think
and who are you
to nnnot WANT this?
how?  why?  whoM?  disgusting
    you can just do this how how how

now.

You just had to let me know
About the sunny vineyards
And the bright blue sky ahead
I was unaware;
You frightened me

in that good way
why how how why
you didn�t, can�t, won�t

no

now

not never

forever
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