Story

Our Story

Where do I begin? I guess that would be the day the home pregnancy test turned blue. Oh, what a day that was. I had no clue I was pregnant until the day before I took the test, when realized I was a week late. I was scared and excited. I was 33 years old and not married...yet. Todd and I had bought a house together the year before and were getting around to the the whole marriage thing... well, maybe.

Todd was not very excited at the news that I was pregnant, although he had always wanted to be a dad. He just wanted to wait until after we were married-- whenever that was supposed to be. Now, I am not complaining, but once the whole baby thing kicked in, the pressure for us to be married was pretty heavy. I believe that Todd's proposal went something like this: "Well, I suppose we should probably get married. I know my mom would appreciate it." Todd's family had been waiting for us to be married, especially Todd's brother. Todd and I talked about it and decided we would try to put something nice together. I didn't want to get married looking really pregnant, so it would need to happen within a month.

Hmm, where to begin? I made a few phone calls and within an hour I had a date, hall, entertainment. I could not believe it! How smooth was that? I finished up some loose ends and we headed out for a previouly planned vacation to Colorado, motorcycling in the Rocky Mountains. Todd and I called this trip our honeymoon, since it would be our last for a while. It was a beautiful vacation, but never again will I spend 8 hour days on the back of a motorcycle while pregnant! I didn't care how beautiful the mountains were!
The next thing I knew, I WAS GETTING MARRIED! The wedding was a blast and my pregnancy was still going well.

At 17 weeks pregnant, the hospital called. They felt that something was wrong with my triple blood screen and asked that I come in for the ultrasound a week early. I was so scared. Todd was in his truck in Chicago so I took his mom with me. It was so disappointing not having Todd there, but we found out that everything was okay and also that we were having a BOY! Todd was so happy! He got his boy!

Before I knew it, it was time to stop working and wait to have this baby. It was 2 weeks before my due date and I was getting anxious. In the back of my mind, I somehow knew that this couldn't possibly turn out the way I planned.
It was almost as if I knew all along that Nicholas would be an angel. I remember listening to his song, "Arms Wide Open" by Creed, and crying, rubbing my belly, begging God to let me keep Nicholas. At my regular doctor appointment on March 9, 2001 I was told to go home. I should have gotten a stress test. I had carpel tunnel, anemia, high blood pressure and later found out there was protein in my urine.
But I went home.

Nicholas' movement started to slow down and I started feeling scared. I called Todd on Tuesday morning, March 13, just sobbing because Nicholas was not moving. Todd was in his truck in Chicago, but did a good job calming me down. He told me to eat something and see what happened. I hung up the phone and Nicholas started to move. He rolled face up. I remember how much it hurt and how long it took him to move to this position. I called Todd back right away and told him our baby would be okay. It was the very last time I felt my baby move.