In the past, Chef Dracula has ventured into his usual neck-bites and necrophilia, along with his Vampire University, Dating Service, Party Planning Service, and as all-around evil being. But, each night, Brad sits as home, wondering how long his stardom will last.
He asks himself these questions:
Will the University continue to thrive?
Can he continue counseling people who long for love?
Will he always be able to jump out of his coffin at special ceremonies?
As he sits at home, Brad stares at his favorite television sitcoms of the past. Suddenly, a sudden shockwave soars through his brain (Hard to believe, I know): "The stars of these old television sitcoms are still famous today, so why couldn't I star in one? Even as the World's most famous vampire, that fame will eventually fizzle away. I should become a television superstar!"
That sudden thought that came by so many months ago, plus the many failures in Brad's personal life, have now joined together to create a new adventure for the reality-based television sitcom, "Brad The Impaler's Neighborhood."
The Basic Plot and Story Line
The year is 2002, and the heart of the story is set in the Cavernous Castle of Chef Dracula. Drac's career is soaring (thanks to a certain web site of self-promotion), but his personal life is sinking. He is afraid that he has lost the love of his life to a Dallas Police Officer, his lifelong assistant Renfield has displayed new affections towards a culinary instructor that squawks like a duck, and the "guests" in his dungeon are regaining their own personalities and independence.
Members of the Cast
Chef Dracula, himself
A lonely man lost in his life. Feeling that his almighty powers are fading and that the loved ones in his life are leaving him, CD contemplates a new career. Throughout the first season, Brad crawls through the city, looking for this career.
In episodes 1-12, you will witness Brad in these new professions, including:
Political office, as he tries to run for President!
(Definitely another time to feel for the Nation. Could you imagine Brad trying to introduce himself to the leaders of the World by shaking their hands? What kind of First Lady would his wife make? Renfield as the Vice President? Then again, most VP's are mindless idiots. At least there would be no need for an Air Force One, since Brad does all of his own flying. Sorry, Uncle Sam.)
Not a pretty site:
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Long-Haul Truck Driver
Brad behind the wheel of a truck - More like "Count Dracula" meets "Smokey and the Bandit." But instead of blood, Brad would probably be driving a Red Cross BloodMobile across the country. Kind of like the Blue Bell Ice Cream Commercial:
But, in Brad's case, that job won't last very long, since all the containers would be empty upon arrival.
(Thanks to Blue Bell for use of this image)
Mrs. Chef Dracula
Originally in the candle-blowing business, where she first met Chef Dracula. Intrigued by this powerful being, she married the Count. But, by his apparent loss of power, Mrs. Dracula has set her eyes elsewhere. Always out for men in power, she rediscovered a new love for a Dallas Police Officer. After all, she wants to blow his siren. According to close sources, the two like to play "Vice Cops" at home, in all sorts of unusual ways. Mrs. Drac has one small problem, though: she still loves the Count, with all of her heart. And she would be impaled if Brad ever found out about it. This season, watch as Mrs. CD blows sirens and sucks blood, for the love of the two men in her life. By episode 15, the Count and the Cop will even meet each other. Each wanting a woman, Episode 16 includes a 'menage a trois' with the Count, the Cop, and the Bride of Brad. Stay tuned for that one......
Renfield
Renfield is disturbed (well, more disturbed) over his master's loss of power. Drac seems so depressed in his lonely and miserable life that not even his loyal servant can lift his spirits. One day, when Drac sets out to find himself, Renfield, for the first time ever, felt lonely in the castle. So, he sets out on the streets of Dallas to find excitement for himself. After an unexciting evening at the local "Fright Fest," since he has experienced so many frightening events for so long, Renfield stumbles upon the hookers of Harry Hines Boulevard in Dallas! With the spell of Count starting to wear off, Renfield now yearns for love. The Harry Hines hookers, however, are a little too much for him to handle. After the forward nature of Brad's brides, Renfield learned his lesson after being enslaved by the Count. So, he soon turned his affections towards someone he could learn the value of life from, a professor at El Centro College. True love was found. Renfield was totally captivated by the nature of this woman, especially when she sounded off her duck-like mating call during their love-making. Renfield was here to stay. So much for the chef. More to come this season.....
Jessie, the mind-numbing nutritionist
Yes, even Chef Dracula has to worry about his health. For someone that is over 571 years old, it is time that he too must be concerned about the things he eats and drinks. During Drac's days in Dallas, around the year 1985, he was still recovering from the fun and free 60's, and the disco of the 70's. Not worrying about the things he ate in these days of fun and freedom, Drac drank his way into destruction, and disappeared for over a decade. This is where he was lost from the rest of the world until he was rediscovered once again in the kitchens of El Centro. When he decided that he needed to recover, he wanted to seek help from his binge blood-sucking. Instead of watching his diet (and the diets of his victims!), Brad sucked on every person available. He would eventually stagger back into his castle before the early morning hours of daylight, hungover from his previous night of blood-draining life destruction towards his body. At this point, he realized the trouble he was in, and wanted to seek help. That is where he came upon a dietician named Jessie, in the schools of the Dallas Independent School District. At first, he thought that she would be his savior. He began to be mindful of his blood-sucking, but after a while, she began to get on his nerves. So, he soon sent her to his dungeon, to terrorize the lifeless mortals down below. This season, watch as this mind-numbing nutritionist harasses the hell out of everyone's favorite hellion. After all, who else but a tofu and yogurt health-conscious nutritionist would be able to criticize the criminal nature of the Count?
Cindy, the cigarette-smoking psychotic computer queen of the damned dungeon
A few years ago, Drac thought that he needed a publicist for his newfound stardom. He came upon Cindy, the binge-smoker who frequently sits inside the bars of Dallas, in a large cloud of cigarette smoke. For some reason, he took a liking to her strange wit. After a few months of slave labor as his publicist, Drac had enough. The only smoke that he can stand comes from his transformation into a flying vermin-like creature. Otherwise, he stays a non-smoker. (His cigarette bills that were sent to the castle cost him a small fortune!) So, he sent her to smoke in the crevices of the castle dungeon. She still, however, manages to sneak out of that small space to watch her sports shows, though, driving Chef Dracula insane. More to come from her this season.
Cindy's Theme Song
Dr. Seward, Sanitarium Owner
Dr. Seward, also known as Gus, runs the local sanitarium in Dallas. After hearing frequent rumors about his neighbor, Chef Dracula, Gus constantly tries to retrieve evidence of the Count's craziness. With this evidence, the Count, along with his psychopathic assistant Renfield, can be locked away for good. Watch throughout the first season as Gus and Chef Dracula keep encountering each other at the most untimely moments.
What Drac will be singing if Gus gets a hold of him
Mr. Bill, the friendly keeper of the dungeon
Even Dracula can have a heart sometimes. Looking for a job one day in Dallas, Mr. Bill stumbled upon the castle of the Count. Normally ignoring such visitors, Dracula somehow knew that he should take in this kind soul. Not only would this man's wife
come after the Count with a wooden stake if he hynotized her man, but she would also come after the author of this web site for putting such a thing on the Internet, even though he is her adopted son, and all. So, I kept Mr. Bill as a kind soul in the story, for my own safety.
Helen, the other kind soul in this story
Yes, Brad felt sorry for her, too. After all, she, alike the Count, enjoys wearing a black cape. Brad let her be the castle maid.
Dr. Van Helsing
As always, the only person there to save the day from those demons will be me, Dr. Van Helsing, by further exposing the life of this terrible man of death, Chef Dracula. There will always be more information on this web site, and in the sitcom, for the good of mankind.
More Characters to Come!
Please be sure to join Chef Dracula and all of his fellow demons, when he comes to the small screen in the next television season, in "Brad the Impaler's Neighborhood."
So long, folks!
DISCLAIMER:This web page is not affiliated in any way with Brad Trudeau's "BLT Enterprises," where the food quality is probably about as high as a 'B'acon, 'L'ettuce, and 'T'omato sandwich.
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