Brad has finally found that special someone, that special woman in his life
And needs her love.......
We can only imagine how this woman...
...Could want this "man"
NOTE: The following photos were taken without Count Dracula.
For some reason, he couldn't take time out from his neck-biting and necrophilia to even have his picture taken with his own wife!
Please go along with this.
Going
down
for the Count??
Cheating on the Count?
(And With Renfield???)
No wonder Renfield was brain-washed!
Now for the tale of Brad the Impaler, and how he met his bride...........
It was the best of times, and it was the worst of times for Brad the Impaler. Around the year 1826, Brad had gained his immeasurable power amongst the immortals. By this time, Count Dracula had been introduced to the diminutive devil known as Renfield, moved to the town of London, and had already experienced the tales that had been told by the most important person known to Dracula dictation, Bram Stoker. However, the infamous writer had made several mistakes in these tales of terror. In his writings, Mr. Stoker had stated that the fabled Lucy Westenra had been Brad's only bride. Stricken by a wooden stake, that marriage had been short-lived. But several years later, Brad and his soon-to-be bride were both bitten by the love bug......
After his nightly jaunt through the local graveyard in his long search to love once again, Brad was prowling the streets of London on one calm English evening. As he was wandering down the street, he noticed a nice establishment nearby. This local candle-blowing business seemed to boggle his mind. Closed for business at the time, Brad would soon be back to check out the clerks behind the counter. He would have just enough time before closing the following evening to make his inquiries, just after sundown.....
The following evening, Brad made his way into the small business. Suddenly, he noticed this tall blonde in the back. He was heartstruck (in a good way). Not only was she a nice-looking blonde, but she blew candles for a living. After all, if HE didn't do below the neck, that didn't mean that SHE couldn't. Intrigued to meet someone with a blow...job, Brad braced for an embrace with this beauty(?). Brad believed that this blonde would be his bride-to-be. He slid across the floor of the factory to speak to this fair maiden.
This blowing blonde was known as Paula. A simple, young English lady of society, she was also lonely in love. Longing for love, but inable to find someone that was adequate, Paula decided to let her mind go to work. At this "job," she was able to perfect hard & waxy substances, long & smooth objects, and a job that blew. It was perfect to satisfy her senses.
On the day that she would meet Brad the Impaler, her life would be changed forever. As Brad was bitten by the love bug, Paula barely being bitten by Brad. As with most of his wives, Brad would just bite their necks, and they would become his slaves. But with Paula, he had a better respect for her. He would achieve love on his own, without his mystical powers of the immortal.
Soon, the two feel hopelessly in love with each other. Paula, especially, became entranced by this evil immortal, because she wanted to become more like Brad. The two would spend the length of the courtship in the local cemetaries, walking neck-in-neck. The rest of their nights would be spent with them biting the necks of the Brits, as well as their times in the two-person coffin, sucking, biting, and so on. It was true love.
At their wedding, all the evil beings from abroad came about. It was the Halloween party of the century, in a simple, but very funereal manner. Their love would now forever blossom.
In the 20th and early 21st centuries, Brad and his Bride moved to the dismal streets of Dallas (With Renfield in tow, of course), to make new "lives" for themselves, away from their evil past in England. Of course, they had to keep up appearances, so Paula would also have to create another life for herself. In her case, she would play a simple business woman, college student, and wife of a cop. But, as always, Brad would never be too far away. From then on the two would live happily ever after for all eternity...........
DISCLAIMER:This web page is not affiliated in any way with Brad Trudeau's "BLT Enterprises," where the food quality is probably about as high as a 'B'acon, 'L'ettuce, and 'T'omato sandwich.
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