Are you lonely in your life?
Do you dream of finding that special someone?
Are you tired of being repeatedly hurt by the one that you love and admire?
Are you a lost soul in your love life?

If you are, then Count Dracula Trudeau is here to help.

For those of you who dream of having that special someone, you are a step away from making those dreams come true.
In it's inaugural year, we would now like to introduce you to the answer for all of your heart's desires, at............



Yes friends, we here at Count Dracula's Date-A-Demon Dating Service are here to solve all of those broken, empty hearts in the world. Our founder, Count/Chef Dracula Trudeau brings all of his knowledge forth (yes, he does have SOME knowledge, even though it's hard to believe) in the arts of love & romance.

Bitten by the love bug (Brad on the OTHER end of a bite, for a change) in the 1400's, Brad found true love on the day that he found his future wife (although married at the time to Frankenstein) in a neighboring castle in Transylvania. Entranced by these unnatural feelings of love for the first time in his life, Brad was so smitten and so scared that he didn't even know where to plant his fangs in this female. Until this point in time, Brad's only blood to drink came from the local Transylvanian Tom Thumb. But this was an artificial, unnatural blood, not from the beating heart of a lovely and luscious lady. He survived on that phony substance, like any good vampire, but Brad longed for more. With the help of Brad's favorite night-time reading material, an illustrated (huh, huh) copy of Dr. Ruth Westheimer's book (yes, she's THAT OLD!), "Vampires in Love with Vixens," Brad braced and provided protection (they even were careful back then) for his ferocious fangs, then sucked his senses away on the neck of his bride-to-be. The same can be said for his female companion, in another sort of way. (Talk about "Going DOWN for the Count!)

After this "uplifting" encounter, Chef Dracula found a whole new meaning in his life. Neck-biting became a nightly habit (yes, he bites in BOTH directions). Soon, other vampires in Transylvania and across the world turned what was once a means of survival for a mere drop of blood into pure pleasure. This act turned vampires into what they are today, thanks to the lead of the World's most famous vampire, Count Dracula. A new age of neck-biting began.

For hundreds of years, Chef Dracula envisioned the world as place empowered by love and romance in the eyes of everyone. Not until the summer of 2002, in the kitchens of El Centro College, did Brad learn the truth.

That summer, Brad observed in a few certain students that the affection between others didn't exist in the eyes of all on Earth. Repeatedly and almost constantly, Brad noticed the emptiness among some hearts, and the bitterness among others. Stricken by this painful sight (but not as painful as a wooden stake), Brad set out to create a service where all hearts can be fulfilled, while others can be mended, at "Count Dracula's Date-A-Demon Dating Service."

At this dating service, we use all known resources to match and bring the hearts together for those who are meant for each other. Where other dating services fail, Chef Dracula himself uses his own hypnotic powers to sense and uncover the true feelings and intentions of all our clients, before any encounters between couples are arranged. No longer will there be a broken heart amongst us, because Chef Dracula will know the truth behind untruthful feelings between future and even currently-dating couples.

Thanks to Chef Dracula and his carefully-designed couple-connections, heartbreaks will no longer hail. Here are a few examples of situations between couples that can now be eliminated, thanks to the genious (LAUGH) of Chef Dracula:

- When one dates another to hide feelings for someone else. (Most common among females, to hide their pride and their vulnerability) In many circustances, this situation is created merely to make the former lover jealous, usually after that former lover abandons this person for another.

- Constantly lying or falsifying affection towards that former lover to your current lover. (Also common among females) Shadowing these lies by claiming that they are necessary to avoid hurt feelings by the current lover usually coincide.

- Misleading your former lover by constantly teasing or showing the wrong kinds of affection towards him/her, even though intentions of a future relationship or reconciliation are not in the plans of this individual. Also common amongst females, as an "ego boost." Commonly, this person can also be channeling true feelings for another through this former lover, when the new person of affection is unavailable at the time.

- Often leading your current lover to believe that you are "in love" with that person, through verbal and physical actions, for attention-getting purposes, while your former lover is still out of the picture, but still in your heart.

- Having the inability to leave your former lover alone, without allowing for the necessary healing time.

- Not having the heart to be straight-forward enough to admit to your current, but soon-to-be-former lover that your relationship is over, but instead relying on the previously-mentioned "game-playing" tactics.

- Treating your current lover like a "rebounder" in a basketball game, with no after effects once your feelings for this person have subsided.

- After being treated like a queen on a pedestal, actually having the nerve to say to your former lover, and to the public (in various forms of commentary), that you were not treated right, that this person turned into a complete and insensitive jerk, was "No Good" for you, and single-handedly made your relationship "weird." And, in turn, actually made this former lover feel some sort of guilt, like her/she might have possibly done something wrong to destroy your relationship.

Here, at Count Dracula's Date-A-Demon Dating Service, all of these common cases will not occur.

Here's your BONUS:
Once we have matched you up with that special someone, we will personally take it upon ourselves to see that your former lover (if you have one, that is) will soon learn the heartache that you suffered while in that relationship.

Of all things on this earth, Chef Dracula hates heartaches and heart-breakers. Once you have settled down into your happy life with your new partner, Chef Dracula, at NO EXTRA CHARGE, will happily ensure the suffering and pain in the heart and soul of your former lover. Whether it be a rope-tying to a tree in a land filled with wolves, or a hypnotic spell into a life of despair in a dungeon, Chef Dracula will see to the demise of these diminutive souls. Compliments of the Count.

One day, we will match you too with that special someone, and you can live happily ever-after.

If you would like any further information on the Count Dracula Date-A-Demon Dating Service, or would like to make an appointment for a free screening, please call our Toll-Free Number below, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

See you at the Dating Service!

Good Luck in Love!

CALL TOLL FREE
1-800-SUCK-THIS


DISCLAIMER:This web page is not affiliated in any way with Brad Trudeau's "BLT Enterprises," where the food quality is probably about as high as a 'B'acon, 'L'ettuce, and 'T'omato sandwich.


Next Page


Want to go home?

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

1