poetry page
journal
my nine inch nails page
my no doubt page
my marilyn manson page
faq page
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| beka lynn | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "it feels like it keeps coming from the inside" | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| since i have created this website, much has changed. you maybe havent heard about it because i cannot update my website when i am in jail. for those of you who dont know much about my past, (or have forgotten) here is a LITTLE background information... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| i grew up with my father and little brother in platte, south dakota. (i have four other half siblings from my father, but they didnt live with us) visits to my mother and two older half siblings were made when my father felt obligated enough. then, like most kids in our great country, i experimented with every side of the unknown. drugs, boys, rebellion, etc. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| second page poetry page journal my nine inch nails page my no doubt page my marilyn manson page faq page |
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| when i was thirteen i shaped up for about a year because of the threat of hell.... but at that time god was just someone to talk to, i didnt have a relationship with him. so eventually i got fed up and refused to accept the fact that i had to obey someone i didnt love whom i owed this great debt to. the summer of my 14th year it led to not living with dad anymore, grand thief auto, and of course a juvenile detention center (i shake my fist) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| then i was moved to a christian (pentecostal) bootcamp rehab for 17 months. that place was hell on earth that forces you to live a life worthy of heaven. my relationship then grew with the lord. i went on a missions trip to guatemala, and had a college set up to teach me to become a missionary. god was everything to me. and everything else (like it says in ecclesiastes) meant nothing. i read the bible daily. i prayed several times a day (and spoke in tongues) i fasted (praying instead of eating) and i didnt want to leave that place. but over christmas break of 2001, i met someone who could argue better than i could (or just as well) we fought for days as to how i could love a god such as the one i worshipped. our conversations led to me questioning everything that i was, as well as everything i was standing on. after time and many words, i rejected and turned away from the only true love of my life. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| [email protected] | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| i had to legally return to that place, and it all looked so different. i couldnt stand it, so i ran away. got caught and was placed on probation until i was to graduate high school (although i was only 15 at the time, i am a year ahead in school... so i was a junior) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| i was good for about 6 or 7 months. then i moved out of my fathers house again. was good for about a month, then had a freak idea to go to iowa and was eventually charged with two accounts of grand thief auto and runaway. i was (this fall) placed again in jail for two months. i am also again placed on probation (for an undecided time, it is based on good behavior) fortunate for me, my oldest sister and her husband decided to take me in. i am now a senior at mitchell high school, with future plans to move to long island, hoping to go to college for audio engineering, determination to get better at the guitar and a whole book of songs i have yet to sing... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| "it fills up the hole but it grows somewhere else instead" | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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