*Blue Cheeze* Interviews

TOP OF THE TIPS!
Ever found yourself in a really sticky situation? Well, cast your eyes over this month�s pop top tips, provided by the ever helpful LEE BLUE!
We�ve had a massive row with our other half. What can we do to make up with them?
You always have to talk about problems and get them out in the open. If you�ve had an argument with someone, that�s the best way to deal with it. I guess I�d also cook them a really nice dinner. I�m quite like that anyway. I�d cook my girlfriend a meal every night of the week if I had to!

We want to have a smooch to the last dance at the disco. What song shall we request?
The Lady In Red by Chris De Burgh. I know some people might think it�s cheesy, but I love that song. It�s really romantic to dance to as well.

We�re freezing cold. What�s the best way to warm up?
Find yourself someone nice and snuggle up real close with them! Honestly, the best way to warm up is to get really snuggly between those sheets.

Two of our mates have had an argument. What should we do to calm them down?
Are they a couple? If they are, I reckon you should be a really good mate and reserve them a table at a fancy restaurant and then book them into a hotel! Otherwise just do something stupid! I think I�d get a couple of eggs and smash them over their heads. If they won�t calm down, at least that will shut them up! It would definitely grab their attention.

Our feet really stink. How can we get rid of the smell?
Smelly feet are natural, aren�t they? I suppose if they really stink, you could stick some more socks on. Otherwise use a bit of Gucci Envy! Wash your feet first and then spray them with it. Sweet as a nut! But if your socks stink, you�re in trouble.

We�re really skint at the moment. Do you have any money-making ideas?
I�ve always been good at getting hold of money. If it was me, I�d go and busk on the Underground. I wouldn�t go on my own though! I�d take another musician with me. What song would raise the most money? Well, I wouldn�t sing any of mine! I�d sing I Drive Myself Crazy by *NSYNC, and a bit of Richard Marx. I�d love to do that! I�d give all the money I earned to charity.

All our clothes are covered in cat hair. How can we get rid of them?
Go and find a pellet gun and shoot the cat in the arse. That will get rid of the problem! (He is joking readers!) I hate the little things. I used to have cats, but I hated all that cat hair. I would always get covered in it � especially if I was wearing a black top! No, seriously, sellotape always does the trick.

We have a really bad headache. What should we do?
I�d go to bed with a nice girl, ha-ha! Well, at least I could give it a go. Honestly, it�s the best cure for a headache! Otherwise I�d just go and lie down for a while. If I had a really banging headache, I�d try to go to sleep. Either that or I�d find somebody with healing hands.

SIMON BLUE
Do you ever go out on the pull in a gang?
Sometimes that can be the highlight of your night! I�m quite shy actually � so when I have the boys around me, I feel a bit more confident. If a girl�s striking-looking, I�d probably thing she�s out of my league anyway.

Reveal the secret codes the guys in your crowd use for pulling girls.
Me and the lads give each other the eye if we need help. But if we spot a really pretty girl, we�ll give each other directions to wherever she is.

ANTONY BLUE
What�s your least fave bit of your body?
My hairy chest! I�ve always had a complex about it. I remember one time when I was about 15 and playing spin the bottle with this girl. When it was my turn to go, I had to take off my top and she said,�Urgh, you�ve got a hairy chest! Disgusting!�

LEE BLUE
OK, Mr Blue, does it make you cringe when girls act all lovey-dovey in public?
Nah, but there is a limit to signs of affection! I wouldn�t like it if she started shoving her tongue down my throat at a club or if she got a bit erotic! There�s a time and a place. I like more romantic stuff, I suppose.

How clued-up are you on how to treat girls?
I think I understand women pretty well. If my girlfriend had period pains, I�d put her in the bath, get some of that soap with fried strawberries in it and just treat her nice.

What would you say if your girlfriend turned round and asked, �Does my bum look big in this?�
I wouldn�t care how big her bum was. I really wouldn�t. If I didn�t like her dress, I�d tell her, but all girls say that. I�d never say, �Yeah, your bum looks well fat!� I�m just not bothered with stuff like that. It�s more like, �You�re beautiful � you�re my girlfriend!�

If you had problems with your bits, would you tell your mates?
Yeah, I have in the past. You�d be hard pushed to get me embarrassed about something like that and none of my mates would be embarrassed either. True friends understand everything.

DUNCAN BLUE
So, Dunc, now you�re famous would you ever date a fan?
I don�t know really cos how do you know who a fan is? For example, you could be a fan or we could be in the same line of business and going out with each other, but you�d still be a fan of the band. I�d never go out with anyone under the age of 18, I�m 22, but actually � never say never!

Top of the Pops Lottery with DUNCAN and ANTONY BLUE
Will ANTONY and DUNCAN grab the BLUE balls first? It�s all in the luck of the draw!

Can you really stay friends with your ex-girlfriends?
Duncan: I�m really good mates with about four of my ex-girlfriends. If you�ve loved somebody, you�ll always love them � even if you�re going out with someone else.
Antony: I�ve stayed mates with ex-girlfriends in the past. I think life�s too short to hold grudges.

Who are your pop mates?
Duncan: We get on well with Atomic Kitten, Hear�Say and the Tymes 4 girls. Natalie Cassidy from EastEnders is wicked too � she�s a really nice girl.
Antony: Damage have always been very supportive of us and we�ve been supportive of them. Dane Bowers is also a good laugh. I�ve got his number and Si has most of Damage�s numbers.

Did you ever threaten to run away from home when you were a nipper?
Ducnan: Yeah! I used to run out of the house and get on my bike. I�d go round the corner and think what am I going to do now?
Antony: One day � I�ll never forget this � I packed my Indiana Jones lunch box and got as far as my loft! I had an apple, a sandwich and a little drink. I couldn�t leave the house cos my mum wouldn�t let me cross the road!

What household task do you hate most?
Duncan: Washing up! I�m getting better at it, but hopefully I�m going to get a dishwasher soon! Oh, and I hate ironing, too.
Antony: I hate cooking. I�m useless at it. I used to nip off to the shops during home economics, buy ready-made mixes and pretend to my teacher that I�d made them myself!

What brings out the animal in you?
Antony: A girl who�s feisty gets me randy! I like girls you know what they want and don�t muck you about.
Duncan: I like a bit of dirty talking! If you�re out in a club with a pretty girl and she stars getting a bit crude and rude � I like it!

What�s the best way to add fizz to a flat relationship?
Duncan: Go away on a weekend break to somewhere like Venice or Paris.
Antony: Forget about it I reckon and listen to some really loud music. I always listen to Oasis and rock music or Eye Of The Tiger from Rocky III! It�s like yeah, man, forget the birds � I�m off out to have a laugh with the lads.

You obviously care about your appearance � how long do you spend looking in the mirror?
Antony: I take about ten minutes to do my hair. I check it a few times during the day to see if it�s alright, but I�m not one of those people who has to stop at every shop window. That really bugs me.
Duncan: My hair is the bane of my life and I do worry about it! I�m just going to have it all shaved off. Wait there a minute � I just need to have a quick check in the mirror, ha-ha!

Which products would you never advertise?
Antony: Spot cream. I�ve got loads of spots and I�d get such a complex because people would always be staring at my skin!
Duncan: I�d never advertise anything that�s taboo or detrimental to the band.

Have you ever snogged anyone famous?
Duncan: (Pausing.) Yes. But I�m not telling you who! All I�ll say is it was drunken, but good!
Antony: I�ve kissed loads on the cheek! Victoria Beckham was the nicest to kiss. I�d love to snog Angelina Jolie. I like her lips and I�ve got a thing about robot women.

If you were offered 1 million pounds to take a job in a supermarket, would you?
Antony: For a day, yeah! But I couldn�t do it for ever � my music�s too important. I respect people who do it, but it�s not for me. If you don�t love your job, why do it? Anyway I�d hate all that stacking shelves because I�m too short!
Duncan: I worked in Somerfield when I was 16 and there was nothing wrong with it � you meet loads of people and have a good laugh!

Who told you about the birds and the bees?
Duncan: My best mate was really filthy and he shocked me by telling me all the rude stuff! I remember watching a porno movie when I was 14 and I hadn�t realized that was what you did! I didn�t lose my virginity until I was about 18.
Antony: Probably my science teacher. I was too embarrassed to ask my parents! My dad caught me with a porno mag once and started laughing.

Have you ever had a sexy liaison with an attached lady?
Antony: Once this 29-year-old woman gave me her number and told me to phone her. But I realized she was engaged and I never did � although I�ve always wanted to have an affair with an older woman!
Duncan: I was working as a Redcoat and I met a woman who was a lot more mature than me. I was 19 and she was 30. It was just a summer thing and I was quite spun out by it all!

CALL THE POP POLICE!
Have your handcuffs ready as Blue confess to all of their most embarrassing moments � it�s enough to make your toes curl!
A is for armpits
Admits a crimson-faced Duncan. �Before I was in Blue, I was in a band called Tantrum. WE had a showcase with EMI and I decided to wear my new Gucci shirt on stage. It was quite tight, but it looked really cool! Anyway, when we got the tape back of our performance, I realized that I had giant sweat patches under my armpits! I was so embarrassed. Maybe that�s why we never got signed!�

B is for bums
�A lot of Blue fans seem to think I�ve got a nice bum,� boasts Antony! �Whenever I see them, they always shout out, �Look at the arse on Costa!� I also have a real habit of exposing my bottom in public. This one time, I was on a school trip with my mates and we were sitting at the back of the bus. Anyway, a car pulled up and I thought it would be really funny to moon them. It was great until the teacher caught me � aaargh!�

C is for church
Cringes Lee, turning a delightful shade of pink! �When I was a kid, my mum took me to one of those churches where they heal your body and stuff. I was mucking around and I couldn�t stop giggling. My mum started to get annoyed and looked at me and said, �What are you laughing at?� So I got up and ran to the back of the church, but as I ran I let out this really big, long fart. Then, with every step I took, I let out another one. My mum was so embarrassed she nearly cried.

D is for dancing
Smirks Simon. �I remember when I first tried to slow dance with a girl at school. My mates dared me to ask her and I wanted to show off in front of them. The thing was, I kept treading on her feet and knocking her over. She had open-toe shoes on at the time, so I don�t think she was very happy with me � it was all quite cringeworthy!

E is for eggs
Reveals an ever so slightly embarrassed Lee. �I used to crack eggs on my head. Imagine people in the street seeing you coming towards them with egg dripping down your face � I used to do that all the time with my mates. Well, actually I�d be the only one who would do it!�

F is for feet
Squirms Antony. �I was with this girl once and we were getting down to business when all of a sudden I caught this disgusting whiff. Then I realized it was coming from my feet cos my socks really stank! I kept my socks on but had to poke my feet out of the end of the bed and pray she wouldn�t notice the smell! I felt really bad because wearing socks is such a turn-off. I like a girl to take her socks off, but I don�t mind if she has shoes on � especially stilettos!�

G is for guts
Shouts Simon as he bursts into fits of laugher. �This is such an embarrassing story! I left home one morning with a really dodgy gut, but by the time I got to the park, I felt fine. I played a bit of footy, but when it was time to go home, my dodgy stomach came back � only ten times worse! I knocked on every door to see if I could use someone�s loo, but nobody was in. In the end, I was so desperate for a poo, I ran back to the park and went behind a tree! I even used a broken umbrella to help scoop it all out What else was I going to use to wipe my bum?�

H is for hair
�I�ve had some really embarrassing haircuts,� laughs Duncan. �Once, I was roped into modeling and the hairdresser said she had a wicked style like a diagonal flat top with loads of colours in it. I wasn�t convinced, but thought I�d go with the flow. The next day though I thought what have I done? It looked terrible! I had to wear a hat for months!�

I is for idiot
Grins Lee! �I�m always making an idiot out of myself! This one time, a girl came up to me and sad, �Buy me and my mate a drink.� I ignored her at first, but later I said, �Alright, I�ll buy your mate a drink because she seems quite nice.� Then she slapped me round the face! I think I just say the wrong thing at the wrong time.�

J is for jokes
Booms a lively Antony. �I�m quite a joker. I love to put a smile on someone�s face by telling them a silly story or doing something really stupid, but I have been the butt of some practical jokes in my time. One night, all my mates decided that it would be funny to cover me in shaving foam. I was tossing and turning in the night and covered myself in the stuff. I was really scared when I woke up the next morning because I wasn�t quite sure what was going on!�

K is for keys
Shouts Simon, getting into the swing of things! �A few years ago, I went out and left my keys in the front door all day. When I came back with my mates, my mum went mad at me. I was trying to act all big in front of my friends, but she shouted really loud. It was quite humiliating. Mind you, they were just as scared of my mum as I was. When she gets angry, she�s a very scary lady!�

L is for lifts
Winces Antony, squirming at the thought. �I was in a really packed hotel lift once and accidentally let out the biggest fart. It wasn�t a loud fart or anything, but it was one of those silent but violent types. It absolutely stank, man. You should have seen the look on people�s faces. Even I felt sick. I never usually fart in public � I always try to control myself. I usually make sure I go and do it in the toilet or try to hold it in.�

M is for money
Mumbles Duncan, shaking his head in shame. �I was trying to impress this bird once, so I took her to this really nice restaurant. Everything seemed to be going well, but when the bill came I couldn�t find my wallet anywhere. I looked at the girl and said, �I�m really sorry, but I think I�ve left my wallet at home�. I felt like a right idiot as I had to ask her to pay for the meal � how embarrassing!�

N is for naked
Groans Simon. �I always used to hang out down the local swimming baths. I remember getting out of the pool one time and feeling this cold draught around my bottom where my shorts had fallen off! I was so embarrassed because there were loads of girls around � I�m actually really shy about undressing in front of girls. When I�m with a girl, I turn off the lights. I don�t mind them seeing my bum, but not me thingies. I mean, you never know what they�ve seen before!

O is for orange
Winces Duncan, remembering this fateful day. �I was in Orlando with my mum and we were on our way to SeaWorld, but we had been arguing with each other all day. It was the middle of summer and there were people everywhere � it was really busy. Anyway, I wound her up so much that she threw a carton of orange juice over me, then walked off! It was terrible cos I was stood there soaking wet and covered in orange bits! I didn�t speak to her for the rest of the day.�

P is for poo
Guffaws Duncan! �A few months ago, we�d had a few drinks after a gig and I woke up the next day feeling pretty rough, Anyway, we were in the car and I was feeling quite sorry for myself. I farted and, um, followed through! When I farted, I thought that feels wet man! I shouted at my manager to stop the car and I ran straight to the toilets. How embarrassing!�

Q is for queues
Moans Lee. �I�ve had so many arguments with people in queues. Once, I was standing next to this little old lady in the queue in Haagen Dazs when this other woman pushed straight to the front. That sort of thing really winds me up, so I went after her and told her I thought she was really rude. She turned around and shouted really loudly at me, �HOW DARE YOU!� It took me by surprise and it did embarrass me a bit, but I�d do it again. I�m really good at digging into people�s niggly bits!�

R is for rap
Laughs Simon. �I�ve always had this habit of singing to myself. I hear melodies in my head and then I start freestyling,. My mouth moves and my eyes pop out because I get really into it. Antony has even said to me, �If didn�t know you, I�d think that you were a complete nutter.� But I don�t realize I�m doing it and there have been times when I�ve had to pretend that I�m talking to someone on my mobile cos I�ve caught folk staring at me!�

S is for sick
Admits Antony, turning green! �A girl was actually sick on me once and that was really embarrassing. I was in the middle of snogging her and she puked in my mouth! We were both quite merry at the time, so we carried on with all this puke in our mouths. It had carrots and watery stuff in it. Eeugh, thinking about it now, it�s disgusting!�

T is for trains
Tuts Lee! �I was on a packed train once and no one was speaking, so I got up and shouted, �EVERYONE � there�s an alien on this train!� They all turned to look at me, so I carried on and said, �How do you know there isn�t an alien on this train?� and I went on to explain my theory about aliens with big heads. You see, I think they�re more advanced than us through different time warps. In another thousand years we�ll evolve and our brains will get bigger. Anyway, I don�t think anyone understood what I was trying to say.� (Funny that cos we don�t either!)

U is for undress
Blurts Antony! �I was doing a tour a while back and me and the bouys were mucking around backstage. Rock DJ came on the radio and I thought it would be funny to do a little dance routine. I took my shirt off, pulled my trousers down, then Becky and Sandi from allSTARS started trying to pull my boxers down. Looking back I can�t help cringing. I mean, everyone nearly saw my bits!�

V is for veggies
Spouts Simon. �I used to work in a greengrocer�s and I was always fighting with the boss�s daughter, who was actually quite a strong girl � she used to do judo and stud. I was always winding her up and she often threatened to beat me up. She used to throw potatoes at me and they really hurt! One time I went too far and she grabbed me in a headlock and threw me into a pile of boxes. It was pretty embarrassing going home with cuts and bruises from a girl, I can tell you!�

W is for Wonderbra
Grins Antony! �Last week, some woman came up to me in the middle of the street and she was wearing one of those Wonderbras with jelly pads in them. Well, she pulled on of the pads out and asked me to sign it! At first I couldn�t work out what it was, so I just signed it. Then she put it back in her bra and said, �Well, it�s better than signing my boobs!� I�ve signed loads of boobs though, but that jelly thing freaked me right out!�

X is for X-ray!
Shouts a usually demure Duncan! �A while ago I kept getting really bad sore throats, so I had to have an X-ray done of the inside of my throat. I had to drink this cup of really thick, blue, slimy stuff � it was disgusting. They take the X-ray as you�re drinking it so they can see it all going down. But it was really gross and it tasted so disgusting I actually puked up everywhere. It went all over the machine and the nurses. Can you imagine how shameful that was?!�

Y is for Y-fronts
�I used to own a brown pair when I was a kid,� confesses an embarrassed Simon. �One day I was changing for a PE lesson and I put my trainers and socks on, but for some reason I forgot to put my shorts on and just ticked my T-shirt into my Y-fronts. I walked into the hall and everyone started laughing. I could feel my cheeks burning. If I was white, I�d have gone bright red!�

Z is for zip
Squirms Lee with tears springing to his eyes! �When I was six, my bits got caught in my zip as I was doing my trousers up. My mum tried but even she couldn�t get them out. In the end we had to ask our neighbour to help. I�m not scarred now though � want a look?� (It�s OK, Lee, we believe you!)