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| TOTP Interviews 2 |
| MISTLETOE MISCHIEF! Wanna know which pop boy you should be locking lips with this yuletide? Then reach for your lip gloss and let our quiz help you find out who�s the luscious lad for you! 1 You�re going to the best Chrissie Bash in town. What are you wearing? A A belt that�s an excuse for a skirt and your fave 10 cm killer heels! B A reindeer costume for a laugh � well, �tis the season to be jolly! C The girl-next-door look of faithful jeans and T-shirt. D Fake tattoos over every inch of your body and not much else � oh, apart from a wicked pair of devil horns! 2 When you arrive at the party you spot your ideal boy straightaway. What�s he doing? A Standing shyly in the corner and smiling sweetly, but glowing like Rudolph�s nose every time a girl trots past! B Playing Twister and demonstrating rude poses to teach even Sisqo a thing or two! C Helping the host�s parent make some punch. Well, you have to keep mum happy! D Sitting outside the house telling everyone who walks by that the party�s rubbish. But then he was always a bit of a humbug! 3 You�re pulling a cracker with your potential snog partner. What�s the best thing that can happen? A He gallantly lets you win! B He tells you that you�re the only cracker he wants and asks if he can pull you instead! C You win a fake plastic moustache, which you pop on pronto. Wanting to be polite, he tells you it suits you and you should wear it more often! D He wrestles you to the ground while prising the cracker and free gift from your mitts, only to jubilantly break it into a zillion pieces! 4 You�re ready to play tonsil tennis. What does your dream boy smell of? A Straw, leather and minty breath. You wish you�d scoffed an extra piece of chewing gum now! B Oysters and oh, fresh, satin bed linen! C Mmm, you�ve smelt something like this before � yep, it�s air freshener. This bouy certainly doesn�t need to try too hard! D Oil, sweat and an inkling of baby powder � a real macho combo! 5 You�re thinking of pouncing, but where have you stashed your mistletoe? A You want to take the most romantic path possible so you haven�t even acquired it yet � you�re about to pick it fresh from the tree in the garden. Romance is definitely the order of your day! B In your pocket, where it�s safely wrapped in oodles of your mum�s best bubble wrap � you don�t want him thinking that you�re easy pickings! C It�s tucked away and very squashed in your secret hiding place � down your lucky pants! D You plan on snatching some from the canoodling couple who are just pain invading your personal space! 6 First kisses rarely run smoothly, so when your lips finally meet, what would be the worst thing that could happen? A He reaches out � and gives you a bear hug! B Ooh! His facial fluff tickles your nose so much that you end up leaping around and sneezing for the next ten minutes! C It starts off as a nice kiss until he burps in your mush and leaves you with a lingering taste of turkey stuffing! D A lunge is followed by a headlock, at which point he passionately locks lips with you and does a terrific impersonation of your mum�s supersuck vacuum! 7 You�ve bitten the bullet and stepped on to the dance floor. Now you turn to your dream boy for some moral support. What does he do? A He sashays you off into the shadows of the kitchen to smooch among half-eaten mince pies and squishy sausage rolls! B He whisks you to the middle of the dance floor and alternates between a comedy lambada and low-limbo backbends. C He tries to impress you with his fancy footwork by twirling around until you both land in a heap on top of the host�s granny, who subsequently blurts out her falsies! D This one is not a dancer, so he drags you off to have a deep and meaningful chat in the cupboard under the stairs instead! 8 What would be your ideal Christmas gift if he decided to surprise you? A A gorgeous locket which can hold a lock of his hair � maybe even his chest hair! B Some saucy knick-knacks that you�re going to have to hide from your mum for the rest of your life! C A romantic holiday � caravanning on the Isle of Dogs! D One of his old, crusty holey T-shirts, which you can keep under your pillow as a token of his love! 9 You give your new snog partner a pet name. What is it? A My little sprout! B Jingle balls! C Santa�s little helper! D Snow White! 10 The party�s over and everyone starts to leave. How can he win himself some final extra Brownie points? A By serenading you really loudly in front of all your mates. B By offering to walk you home and dropping hints about how thirsty he is and asking if he can pop in for �a coffee�. C By kissing you goodbye and walking away telling you to call him � but he�s forgotten to give you his number! After five minutes and loads of brain-racking, he remembers and returns to pass it on to you! D By acting like he hates you and ignoring you until you stomp off � at which point he comes running after you and asks for your digits! Now just count up how many A�s, B�s, C�s and D�s you have! And your dream boy is� Mostly A�s Shane Westlife! If having doors opened and chairs pulled out for you makes you feel like a princess, then this old-fashioned gent could be the one for you. Just remember to hitch up those hems for him! Mostly B�s Shaggy! You know exactly how to rein in Mr Lover Lover with a mushy mixture of pure seduction and gooey giddiness! If you can�t keep a-lovin� and a-gigglin�, just rub your mush in his manly facial growth for a bit of a tickle! Mostly C�s Lee Blue! There are no airs and graces with this fella cos what you see is definitely what you get � body gasses and all! But they do say diamonds are a girl�s best friend and this geezer�s one very rough diamond! Just polish him up, treasure him and he could be around forever! Mostly D�s Eminem! Ooh, careful, those who play with fire end up with burnt whatsists! Although you can be a bit of a flickering flame yourself, can you really handle this burnin� bundle of love? Whatever happens the heat is definitely on! |
| November 2001 |
| �forward girls really get me going!� Blimey! Forget BLUE � once you�ve read the outrageously intimate details about these lads, the colour you�ll be turning is red! What�s your fave part of your body? Antony: People say my bum�s quite good, so I�ll go for that. A lot of people tell me it�s cute and I take that as a compliment. Duncan: (Immediately suggests a rather rude part of his anatomy!) No, it�s my eyes. You can tell a lot about someone from their eyes. I�ve got nice lips as well and I�m a good kisser! Lee: Me (bleep), ha-ha! No, oh alright, probably my fingers. They�re very useful. The girls don�t tell me what they like, though, they scream it! Simon: I haven�t really got one. I don�t ever really look at myself. Some people seem to like my arms and chest though! And your least fave? Duncan: I hate my nose. It�s big and horrible and it needs a job done on it! I broke it when I was ten by wrestling with my mate and it�s left me with a big bump in it. I was Hulk Hogan and he was Texan Tornado. He did a whirlwind punch, which I walked straight into! Lee: My belly. Yep, I�ve got a little potbelly. I�ve got the four-pack, I�ve just got to get the rest. Simon: I don�t like my skinny legs! Antony: My chest hair. I had it waxed by me ex-girlfriend about a year ago and it hurt like hell! No girl is worth that amount of pain! What makes you see red? Lee: Snobs. Some girl tried to poke my eye out this morning. I hope she reads this. I was at Charing Cross, waiting for a cab, and she tried to stick an umbrella into my eye! She said, �You shouldn�t stand so close to me!� I wanted to tell her where to shove it! Antony: Ruder, arrogant people � people who think they�re better than you. Idiots who don�t even know me and take the mickey because of what I do. Trouble is, you have to keep quiet and walk away. Sometimes you�d like to smack �em, but you can�t! Duncan: People who faff around. Antony�s the biggest dawdler. He worries about things and just stands there. He makes me laugh though while other people really annoy me! I�m like a volcano when I erupt, but I never hold grudges. I just forget it. Simon: It takes a lot to wind me up now, but I was often angry a lot as a kid. I hated teasing and always stood up to bullies. Reveal to TOTP the most shocking thing you�ve ever done. Antony: Pulling a moonie at my old teachers. We threw eggs at them, too. I don�t think they knew who we were cos we legged it pretty fast! Duncan: I played Doctor Watson in an amateur premiere of The Revenge Of Sherlock Holmes and I looked just like my granddad with my pipe, glasses, moustache and grey hair. I�m really into acting. I love singing but my passion is actually acting. That will shock people, I guess. Lee: Not me, I�m a good boy! Well, alright, I actually do a lot of things that would shock you. I went skinny dipping once at Camber Sands in November. It was a dare and it was so cold. That shocked the life out of me! Simon: Getting a record deal was shocking enough for me! I thought I was going to be a footballer and all of a sudden I was a pop star! A load of pants it may be but nonetheless we wanna know how many pairs you own! Duncan: One, two, three, four � ten. I know exactly. I like my Tommy Hilfigers because they give me a good pouch, ha-ha! Antony: I own 15 and I don�t have any lucky ones. I don�t believe in all that crap. I think you make your own luck. They�re medium sized and my favourites are white. Imagine a girl pulling down your trousers and seeing Homer Simpson boxer shorts! No way! Lee: I own a fair few but I don�t buy those designer pants. Marks and Sparks all the way for me � you can�t beat �em! I like black boxers. Simon: Loads! I reckon about 17 pairs, but I�ve never counted them. My Calvin Kleins are my favourite � the tight-fitting ones! Tell us, lads, what tickles your fancy? Lee: Squirty cream! Oh and 20 yards out, top corner! Simon: Women. Sexy women. A woman with something sexy to show, like shapely legs, who will where a nice dress to show them off but still leave something to your imagination. Antony: Forward girls really get me going. I like a girl with a bit of balls, a bit of an opinion. I love it when girls approach me for a change. Duncan: Short skirts and windy days! Well, I�m not really into short skirts cos I don�t like tarty women. I like petite brunettes or tall blondes. Have your parents ever walked in when you�ve been getting steamy with a girl? Antony: No, but my brother has. It was about a year ago. He burst through the door and I had to yell, �(Bleep) off out of my room, you (bleep!)!� He just started laughing so I did, too. What else can you do?! Lee: Loads of times. My mum was always having a go at me about it. Once, on New Year�s Eve, I was with this girl and we were just about to have a kiss and cuddle when my mum burst in! She didn�t say anything, but I knew she had the hump! The girl was embarrassed, but I thought it was really funny! Duncan: I�m very careful because if my mum walked in, she�d freak. Once there was a girl in the room with me. Mum knocked and shouted, �Duncan, what are you doing in there?� She didn�t realize that I had a girl in there with me so I dashed out and had to distract her while the girl found somewhere to hide! Simon: Actually my mum was really good and always knew when not to bother me! Well, we�re going to bother you to tell us one last intimate secret about another member of Blue. Duncan: Antony�s a terrible worrier and he bites his nails too much. He bites them down to nothing until they�re really sore. Simon: Duncan reads the Harry Potter books, but then I think I�ve been told that once you start them it�s impossible to stop. Lee: Simon is a right tart when it comes to preening himself! He has loads of creams and lotions from Clarins. That�s all he buys. Antony: Lee�s a product king as well and he spends about two hours in the mirror doing his hair. He�s the worst. He has no perception of time. You can say to him, �Lee, we�ve got ten minutes�, and half an hour later you�re still waiting for him. Awful! |
| December 2001 |
| POP-STAR PAVLOVA PALAVER! Suzanne, Kym and Myleene said they�d take our toughest test, so we let loose our secret pop weapon � cheeky LEE BLUE! Do his risqu� questions makes the HEAR�SAY gals smile and sigh or raise their fists and lob our custard pie?! Let�s set the scene. As the girls flop down beside Lee, Suzanne carefully places their defence against lairy questions on the table between them: a huge custard pie of the gooey-est variety! Lee eyes it up suspiciously as he shifts nervously on his cushion. Let the questioning commence! Kym, are you going to set Suzanne and Myleene up on dates with the EastEnders boys? I reckon Myleene should have Robbie! Myleene: Hey! I�ll have Martin Kemp and Suzanne can have Wellard, ha-ha! Kym: But Martin Kemp�s married to Shirley from Pepsi and Shirley (80s pop duo!). Suzie can have Sonia�s granddad, ha-ha! Lee: He�s a geezer, man! Myleene: That�s why she wants to go out with him! Suzanne: Hang on, I never said that� So is Wellard out of the question? Suzanne: ha-ha, yeah! I don�t want Wellard or Sonia�s granddad, thanks very much! Which pop stars have you snogged? Myleene: I�ve snogged Kym and Suzie! Kym: Suzie just whispered, �Lee�. Did ya, Suzie? Did you snog me in your dreams? Suzanne: No. Urgh! Ha-ha! I meant I had flirted with you! Kym: We flirt with all the boys! Myleene: Yeah, but only the big boys! So does that mean you flirted with Nasty Nigel to get picked? Myleene: The old casting-couch scenario, eh? Kym: Do you really think I�d have flirted with Nasty Nigel after he called me a fat cow? I don�t think so! Is that what he really said? Myleene: Not quite like that, bit sort of like that. Suzanne: Very much like that! So did you fancy him? Suzanne: Urgh, no! Kym: (Nudging Suzanne and nodding at the whopping dollop of custard,) No, no, no, no! Myleene: Women go for power though, so you can see why someone might go for him. Kym: Well, he wasn�t very powerful when I told him what I thought of him. He just sort of stood there, ha-ha! Wearing all those tight-fitting tops like you do, don�t you worry that you might accidentally pop out in public? Kym: Well, that doesn�t apply to me cos I�m quite small. Myleene: And it�s already happened to me! Seriously? Myleene: Yeah, ha-ha! Do you ever get backache because you�ve got big boobs? Myleene: Yes, I do. I have really bad posture because of it. Suzanne: I�ve never had a bad back because of my boobs! Kym: Can we just get off the subject of breasts, no please, Lee?! OK. Um, do you deliberately show off your figures in public so that you will get more attention from the press? Kym: No! The press just seem to enjoy going on about our figures all the time. Myleene: We go out almost every day in baggy pants and jumpers and then it�s the one time you go out in a little top that you�re snapped! Suzanne: (Pulling the custard creation closer to her.) Actually I don�t think we do show our figures off that much, thanks! You�ve already posed half naked on the cover of a magazine. Would you strip down to your birthday suits for the right money � or for me?! Myleene: What, again, Lee? Ha-ha! Suzanne: Anyway, we�ve never posed half naked! Kym: Lee, are you actually asking us if we�d strip naked for you or for money? For money. I�ll pay, ha-ha! Suzanne: No we wouldn�t! I�d strip for the right money. In fact, I�ve already done it for a karaoke video! Anyhow, on to an even tougher question: if you had to get rude with Noel or Danny, who would you choose? Kym: It would be Danny for me! Suzanne: I�d say Noel. Myleene: Well, I�ll have them both! Ooh, would ya? Um, I�d never thought about that before! OK, which one of you is gonna get married first? Myleene: Kym! Suzanne: Well it can�t be me or Myleene cos we haven�t got fellas yet. Kym: I think Myleene will probably be the first to get married. Myleene: You�re having a laugh! Kym: I think that you would if the right man came along. Myleene: Tell Martin Kemp then! Suzanne: I�m just waiting for Robbie! He belongs to Wellard � forget about him. Suzanne: Ha-ha! No � Robbie Williams! I bet the boys get annoyed with all your girlie habits, like gossiping! Suzanne: They join in, man! Kym: We�re not very girlie, anyway. Myleene: They are total gossips, those two! And we don�t have just girlie gossip cos we all share our gossip with the boys. Kym: It�s probably not very trendy to say this any more, but we�re more like ladettes that girlie girls. But you�re not geezer birds either, are you? Kym: No, but we can go and have a pint with the boys. And there�s a competition between me and Noel about who can fart best. I fart and drink! Nice! So which one of you would be most at home on a lads� night out with me? Kym: Most of our friends are male! Suzanne: We�ll all come with you! I like lads� nights out because blokes talk more honestly about things, like women and stuff. We could hear what you have to say. Cool! Do you ever think you turn into nagging women? Suzanne: (Shrieking) WHAT?! Well, what do you nag poor Noel and Danny about most? Myleene: You�re really cheeky! They are always, always late. They cannot get their bums out of bed in the morning! Kym: I�ll tell you what�s annoying, they fight like cat and dog. Not properly though � just play-fighting. Suzanne: They hit each other and wrestle and cannot keep still for two seconds. It�s like having two little kids around all the time! And what�s wrong with that?! Myleene: If you�re in a car with them, you just want to chuck them out! Kym: On tour, Danny kept chucking Noel in the bin! Suzanne: Then me and Myleene made the mistake of trying to split them up and Danny started whacking us with a towel! Kym: And they do all sorts of things like throw each other�s shoes out of windows! Ha-ha, that sounds like a laugh! So being girls, do you fight over stuff like clothes and boys a lot? Kym: No! We have similar tastes in clothes, but we go for completely different things where men are concerned. Myleene: I like men to look like men. Kym: I must admit Jack is really different from what I used to go out with � everybody I�d been out with before was really big. Myleene: And Suzanne�s not fussy! Suzanne: I am. I only like Robbie Williams! Being blokes, do Noel and Danny get paid more than you girls? Suzanne: What?! Not that we know of! Kym: Only if they have other secret jobs! Myleene: They are very good with their money though. You could never say they were tight, either � they�re always the first to get the rounds in and to pay for dinner. Kym: Maybe that�s where the rest of our million pounds went, ha-ha! You all seem really ladylike, so tell me who farts the most! Suzanne: Kym! Kym: You can�t talk! Suzanne: I always end up sitting next to her every time we go on a plane! Kym: Be fair, I�m not the only one. Anyway, planes cause flatulence! Isn�t that turbulence?! Alright then, who creates the smelliest farts? Suzanne: Noel! Kym: But out of the girls, it�s me. I�m quite proud of it! Suzanne: Kym�s quite vile, actually, ha-ha! If you lot got in a fight, who would win? Myleene: That�s pointless � we would never fight! Well, who�s the hardest? Suzanne: Kym�s got the mouth! Kym: We would all be able to hold our own in a fight, but I�d probably jump in and help out if anyone was trying to hurt one of these girls! Myleene: We�d all look out for each other. Ah, that�s nice. Right, so who wants to snog me first? Kym: Right! That�s it! Girls, you know what we�ve gotta do� Suzanne and Myleene: (Shrieking) LET�S GET HIM! And with that, Myleene scoops up the custard pie and using her bestest flan-flinger action, right hooks it smack bang into Lee�s mush! It seems the cheeky interviewer finally overstepped the mark! Oops! |
| How many cheeky questions can LISA STEPS take before losing her cool? DUNCAN BLUE finds out! Duncan: If a magazine asked you to dress up as a pineapple for a photo shoot, would you be up for it? Lisa: Maybe a few years ago but not any more. Take it from me and never dress up like this! It won�t do you any good and one thing�s for sure, it�s not going to help you sell any records. People will just think you�re a right Charlie! Duncan: Steps are asked to be the face of Butlin�s � do you sign up? Lisa: I think we probably would! It was a form of training so I don�t think we�d have a problem with it. Anyway we go to Butlin�s every year when we kick off our tour and have a sort of dress rehearsal there. I think it�s definitely played its part in where we�ve got to and what we�ve become. Myself, H and Faye did the holiday circuit and we�d all be up for it. I�m not ashamed of what I�ve done and I don�t see why anyone should be ashamed of their past! Duncan: A picture of you with your blue hair extensions appears in a magazine article titled �How not to do your hair.� How do you react? Lisa: Things like that don�t bother me really, so I�d probably just laugh, to be honest. Anyway, I�ll have you know that lots of people have said very positive things about my blue hair, thank you very much! And there are a lot of people in the audience at our gigs with blue hair now, so I�m a trendsetter! Duncan: Your record company demands that you do some sexy shots for a lad�s mag, in the hope it will attract an older audience to Steps. What do you do? Lisa: I can�t really say anything here, can I?! Now I don�t like anyone demanding anything from me, but in this case they would only have to ask nicely for me to say yes! I�ve already done a few lads� magazines and it�s always been really good fun � as long as I have a nice bikini, I don�t mind! Duncan: You�re off for a big night out on the town but a bouncer refuses to let you in because he thinks you�re too young. How do you feel? Lisa: Big night out? Now you know that�s not really me, Duncan! Blimey, I tell you what, I�d be very flattered! It�s a compliment and I�ll always be smiling as long people keep making that mistake! Duncan: If a young fan says to you, �Hi, Claire, can I have your autograph?�, would you send them packing? Lisa: I wouldn�t really mind if it was a genuine mistake. I�d say, �Of course you can but I�m actually Lisa.� Then I�d probably send them over to Claire to say, �Lisa, can I have your autograph?� Duncan: You hear a journalist saying Steps are finished. How do you react? Lisa: I�d go over to them and say, �We�ve had a lot of hits and it�s time to save them all on the same album. We see it as the end of one chapter and the start of another, certainly not the end.� It drives me mad when people say we must be finished! I think they�re just annoyed that we�ve done so much better than anybody expected us to! |
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