Her parents and two brothers did all the usual things, trips to Yosemite, and to Lake Tahoe..trips to the beach...they had a swimming pool in the garden...so she was constantly exposed to the sometimes, hot California sunshine...
Being red haired and freckled didn't help..she burned easily..and so had to be careful to wear lotions and sun screens..However, the inevitable burns occured..
She was a delightful child...
She and I (her Maternal Aunt) got along very well from the time she was born really..She used to call me 'gum'..as I evidently chewed alot of it..and when I would visit, which was often, she would run toward me, arms outstretched yelling, 'gum' 'gum'!!!!
In later years I would send her a piece of gum stuck in a birthday card as a gentle reminder of those days...Last year, she sent me a piece of gum in my birthday card for the first time...She died four months later...
In 1994 at the age of 15, Ashley and her Mum moved to Montana to live..
Her brothers were both in University, and Ashleys Mum, Jan, had split up with her Dad, Allan, some years before, and wanted a change..She had loved Montana on sight, after a vacation there, and decided that is where she wanted to be..
Ashley had the choice to stay in California with her dad, or to venture forth to new pastures with her Mum, She reluctantly chose the latter..
Like most kids, she would probably have liked her family to stay together, but as that wasn't possible..she threw herself into the move with her usual enthusiasm...
She attended High School in Helena and quickly made friends...and after a while, she beagn to love Montana as much as her Mum did...so much so..that when the time came to choose a University, instead of going to UC Davis where her brothers had gone, and she had always aspired to, she chose the University of Missoula in Montana instead
She wasn't very long into her first year when she first became aware of the mole on her right calf changing...Whilst at the University Doctor she mentioned the mole to him..and was told it was 'nothing to worry about'...
In her second year she once again went to the Doctor, and once again mentioned the mole..Her intuition was evidently yelling at her that something was amiss, but once again, the Doctor assured her that everything was ok and there was 'nothing to worry about'!
Most University students are usually away from home for the first time in their lives, and trust authority figures to give them the correct advice.This Doctor should have referred her to a Specialist if he knew nothing about skin problems...Had he done so, then the Melanoma would have been caught earlier, and Ash might still have been with us.
In her third year, Ashley mentioned the mole to her Mum, and Jan saw it for the first time, and immediately sent her off to a Dermatologist to have it removed.Not because she though it was dangerous, after all, the Doctor said it was ok didn't he???....but because Ashley didn't like the look of it....So for her 21st birthday she had the mole off and a biopsy was perfomed ..
The biposy came back malignent, and Ashley was admitted to hospital in Missoula immediately to have a large tumour taken out of her right calf ...Tests were also done on her lymph nodes in the groin, and the right side was removed...
We were in shock, she was in shock...Is this really happening...does she have CANCER..good grief it was only a mole after all...
Jan and I had been planning a trip to Canada at this time, so I had flown up to Montana to leave from there..Instead we spent days in the hospital, and talking to Doctors, and trying to make sense and learn about this Melanoma thing..Up to this time, we knew almost nothing about it, except it was a type of skin cancer..It was a real shock to hear that once in the gland system, and blood stream, there is no cure, and few people survive.
We spent afew agonising days waiting for more results from Ashley,after she had a CAT scan, and then to our collective relief, were told she was clear.We stll didn't understand that this meant she was clear 'for now'...
Her Mum Dad and I, all cried with joy.
Whist in hospital, and throughout her illness,Ashley 's friends rallied around her, and it would be nothing unusual to find 5-10 kids in her hospital room...Talking nonsense,as kids do, but keeping her spirits up, and being 'normal'''Above all else she just wanted to 'live her life'....She didn't want anyone around her crying or being sad.
She soon went back to University, and continued her waitress job in the evenings, in a local restuarant..and life went on as usual..until the next check up
Melanoma patients usually have frequent checks, at least every three months.Ashleys were more freqent...Her next one brought forth another tumour
....to be continued
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