| Revenge of the Telemarketers (A True Story) |
One thing that always bugged me, & I'm sure it does most of you, is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer.I decided on one occasion to try to be as irritating as possible. The call was from AT&T and it went something like this. Me: Hello? AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T... Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes this is AT&T... Me: This is AT&T? AT&T: Yes this is AT&T... Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T, may i speak to Mr. Byron please? Me: May I ask who is calling? AT&T: This is AT&T. Me: OK, hold on. At this point the phone was down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my dinner, and much to my surprise when I picked up the phone they were still waiting. Me: Hello? AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron? Me: May I ask who is calling please? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T... Me: Is this is AT&T? AT&T: Yes this is AT&T... Me: This AT&T? AT&T: Yes, is this Mr. Byron Me: This is AT&T? AT&T: Yes sir. Me: The phone company? AT&T: Yes sir. Me: I thought you said this was AT&T. AT&T: Yes sir, we are a phone company. Me: I already have a phone. AT&T: We aren't selling phones today Mr. Byron Me: Well what ever you are selling I'm really not interested, but thanks for calling. When you are not interested I don't think you can express yourself any plainer than by saying "I'm really not interested", but this lady was persistent. AT&T: Mr. Byron we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. (I'm sure she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a minute but at no time did she use the word "rate". I could clearly see it was time to whip out the old rusty calculator and do some calculating) Me: Now thats 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day? AT&T: (Getting a little excited to at this point by my interest) Yes sir, that's right! 24 hours a day! Me: 7 days a week? AT&T: That's right. Me: 365 days a year? AT&T: Yes sir. Me: I am definitly interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing! AT&T: We think so Me: That's quite a sum of money! AT&T: Yes sir, it's amazing how it adds up. Me: OK, so you will send me checks weekly, monthly, or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560, and if you send an annual check can I get a cash advance? AT&T: Excuse me? Me: You know, the 10 cents a minute. AT&T: What are you talking about? Me: You said you'd pay me 10 cents a minute, which comes to $144 a day, $1,008 per week, and $52,560 a year. I'm just interested in how you will be making the payment. AT&T: Oh no sir, I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute Me: Now wait a minute here!!! Didn't you say you would give me 10 cents a minute? Are you sure this is AT&T? AT&T: Well, yes this is AT&T sir but... Me: But nothing, how do you figure that by saying you'll pay me 10 cents a minute that I'll pay you 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer you know. Don't use your alien brainwashing techniques on me! AT&T: No sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for... Me: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! May i speak to a supervisor please!? AT&T: Sir I don't think that is necessary. Me: Sure, you say that now! What happens later? AT&T: What? Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor! AT&T: Yes Mr.Byron please hold. |