Good morning, sweetpea!

I know it's late (for me) and I'll probably end up sleeping in again, knowing the way I am (let's hope not though), but I couldn't resist just writing you before I get ready to close my eyes and dream sweet thoughts of you, all night long. Hopefully, taking this time to say a few words will not affect my chances of waking up in the morning.

GOSH, Chad--- You think you're speechless! My gawd!!! That was the most sincere and intimate email anyone has ever written me. And it made me so happy to read it that I almost started to cry. I think you're the sweetest guy in the world.

I think I must have read it about a dozen times now, and even still, I have yet to find a way to tell you about how it makes me feel to read what you wrote, Chad. I love the way that you write, and it always amazes me how insightful and sincere you can be when you write to me. When I read your emails, my hands start to sweat, my mind goes all numb and my heart just aches from the words I read; not wanting it to ever end.

It's so strange....... I don't know how it's been possible for us to be this close in such a short period of time, but honestly I don't care. I am happy either way, knowing that you've created a special place in my heart that's only for you. That's all that matters to me, because I know that you're a very special guy and I couldn't imagine not wanting to be with you.

You know... there's times during the day, that I sit there and I daydream about you... and me... and you and me....us......and it's those thoughts that keep me going through the day.... wondering about what it's like... what it could be like.....thinking about what it would be like to lay next to you, and hold you (and never let go), caress you and kiss you gently on the lips... sharing the things that matter most to the both of us. I want to be able to feel you, and touch you and wrap my arms around you. I don't think I'd ever want to let you go.

Chad, I've immensely enjoyed the time we've spent talking and writing to each other. It's given me such hope and emotion, not like that of what I am used to.... and I love hearing your voice. It makes me feel so peaceful..... I just love when I have the chance to pick up the phone and call you, just to say hi, because then after I've spoken with you, I feel so much better, and it feels like my day is complete; that it couldn't really get any better. Could it???

And yes, it does scare me to death, Chad. So much that I don't even want to think about it.... think about the day that we actually meet. I've thought about it so much, and knowing the degree to what I've been feeling for you lately, I can't help but fear that this one single event could bring it all crashing down. I'm afraid that perhaps things won't be as pleasant and fantasy-like as they've been so far. I don't want this feeling to ever end.

There's so many things I want to tell you, so many things I want to share, but I feel like there's never enough time to really say it all.....I feel like I could tell you anything. I trust you a lot. And that means a lot to me that I know I feel that way about you... it's so comforting to know that I could tell you anything without being judged for what I say. I feel like you listen so well and you offer the encouraging words I need to hear. You always make things seem so sensible, and not one part of me doubts the sincerity of it all.

ANYWAY -------

I'm wondering if you're going to have access to your email when you're away this weekend. The reason why I ask is because I thought it might be neat for the two of us to involve ourselves in some major writing. I know you're going to be busy with your friends and family, but I think it would be very helpful for the two of us to spend some time writing each other about ourselves. I mean, I've learned about you in these past few weeks, but I am sure there's more to you than what I know, and I know there's a lot more that you don't know about me. But, I want that to change. Anyway, we can talk more about this tomorrow or atleast sometime before you leave for the weekend.

So, before I go, I just want to let you know know how much I appreciate having you in my life and how much I look forward to making dreams come true....... with you....... in ever way. I miss you terribly....... I sit here and wish that I could only hear your voice one more time before going to bed.... but I am sure you've been lying in bed, cuddled up in a blanket, sleeping for hours, and daydreaming about what's going to happen. I just hope it's all good, and I hope it'll all be true.

I love you, Chad..

Teddy.