Dear Mr. Longwinded,

HAHAHAHA, just kidding! I'm only joking Teddy! I love you. You should know that. I didn't mean to make a huge big deal about the freak incident with Elise. I wasn't that entirely upset over it. But what really bothered me was the fact that you didn't stick up for me, well at least I thought you didn't. When you first brought up the fact, I didn't understand your explanation. But I understand it now, and really, all I was looking for you to say was this:

"...Chad. You know that I love you dearly, and that I would protect you from anyone and everyone that tried to hurt you or say anything bad about you."

But I didn't really get that from you over the phone, which is why I sent the email. But you set me straight and I got to hear the very words I was looking for you, which is why I love you to death.

I love how you can express what you say in your emails, I wish I could hear them from you voice. Like the other night, after you told me how you felt about me after you read my poem. The things you were saying brought a tear to my eye. I truly appreciated it. But I'm patient and I'll wait for as long as it takes for you to feel comfortable with yourself. So don't rush on my account. AS much as I want you to! :)

Don't ever feel that you need to return my efforts to make me happy. I express how I feel the only way I know how, and that's by doing what I have been doing. Don't over work yourself trying to make a long email. I don't ask for much. But when I do and you fulfill my request, you've just equaled whatever effort I attempted to make you happy. Like the night you sang to me. I did my best not to cry out loud. And just thinking back listening to you melts my heart again, and makes me dizzy and brings tears to my eyes. Those are the times you satisfy me most the way I have you. You don't need to do much do you.

I'm curious to know however, when you upset me. You mentioned:

"And I know sometimes that I upset you, and I am sorry about that. I don't mean to disappoint you. I just try to be myself, and I guess, well, I can't be perfect."

I'm wondering where this is coming from. I want you to be yourself. If your talking about the times I say your always talking about eBay, or PayPal or you being tired, and nothing else... Well the truth of it is, is that, I come to expect that from you. It's just another part of you that I've accepted and come to love about you.

I wait for the day when your ready to open up, the day I'll know your not holding back anything. That day makes me nervous and scared. It's kind of like, what have I gotten myself into now? LOL But I know it'll be beautiful because you're a beautiful angel. What's God doing with one of its most special angels missing from heaven anyway?

I hope the day comes soon that I get to lay beside you and sleep with you. I long for those days, and wishing for them makes my heart feel heavy. Every night I squeeze your Teddy tight and give it a little goodnight kiss, pretending it's you and laying it next to me, where it peacefully sleeps beside me. That is until it starts to hog up the bed and I give it one good shove to the floor! LOL

But for real though, I woke up in the middle of the night, and I couldn't find your Teddy, so I felt around on the floor and there it was, it fell off. I quickly picked it up and hugged and I went right back to sleep.

You just called me and I told you that I didn't write you an email, but little do you know, I'm writing you one. Now I've got to go home and send it off to you, then call you! I hope your surprised!

I love you plenty! LOL

Chad.