The night before this email was sent out, Teddy and I spoke on the phone and I had asked him what he looked for in a guy. The following morning, I found an email explaining what he looks for in a guy. I then replied to his email and this is where the rollercoaster ride begins. Enjoy!
Good Evening, my little sunset!
Hey Teddiness!
I miss you now. Especially reading your email. I'm going to respond to everything! So this email should be interesting as well as super long. Hopefully I can finish it before 9:30am. Ok, let's get started.
"Just wanted to let you know that I enjoyed the chat we had tonight.... not like it's any different than any other time, but I guess I just always have a lot of fun talking to you, and it makes me all wet and juicy inside ----among other things------ to hear your sexy voice.... uhhhh...*shakes with excitement*.....it sends chills up my spine :-)"
I always enjoy our chats! I enjoy them too much! So much that I begin to miss them. And I don't mean that in a sexual way either. I just love listening to your voice and the funny things you say. You make me laugh, and I like that. I'm weak, and that bothers me. I wish I had more self control so I can stop myself from calling you all the time. Like yesterday afternoon. I kept telling myself, I'm not going to call Teddy, I'm not going to call Teddy... but I'm pathetically weak and I had too. Your like a drug that I've grown dependant on. :)
"Geesh, it's 2:30 in the morning and I still haven't gone to bed.... its almost pointless now.....(wish I had someone to keep me company) I have to up around 6:45am.. don't know how I am going to make it. I am not the type who can just close my eyes for a couple of hours... I enjoy sleep way too much, and there's been way too many times where I've accidentally slept in.....guess that's why they call me sleepdemon."
Why did you stay up so late? I went to bed after I got off the phone with you. And I must of went right to sleep cause I didn't wake up until 5:45am. Which was a whole hour before I actually get up, so I went back to sleep for another hour. Then I got up, took a long shower, and then I walked to work. (<-- me being an active guy) And then I saw the cute guy I always check out here at work. I don't know his name, but he works at desk number E-77 on the 7th floor. I was walking towards the main doors and he was out there already looking at me. Then I got selfconscious and I looked back, then away, then back again but he was looking that time. Then I went inside and I saw the new mail boy, of course he looks at me too! And I look back and then he looks at his mail like he's seriously working, but I'm sure after my back was turned he was checking me out! Anyways, I got off subject here, I was talking about your sleeping habits! GO TO BED!! What were you doing up so late! You're going to look terrible without any sleep. Have a nice cool beer like an hour before you actually want to go to bed, and with that heat, you'll be asleep in no time! Try it! (<-- me being inspiring and devoted)
"BTW - Don't worry about my name (sleepdemon).. honestly, it's just a nickname I picked up in high school (and you already know that).... it really doesn't relfect my true inner self (whatever that is)... I am really not a "bad boi" .... quite the opposite...... I'm very caring, compassionate, and kind, and I really wouldn't hurt a fly (well - ok, flies suck .. maybe that wasn't a really good example.. but you know what I mean)... I am as innocent as they come. SERIOUSLY."
I guess I can accept that nickname. Although it is sooo the oposite the one I gave you. Your a soft little cute huggable teddy bear. So I'll foget about the sleep part of that nickname for now. hehehe Cause I'm soooo sure your as innocent as they come! How many times have you read my email last night while you were awake? Did you still laugh?
"Anyway, about your last question that we didn't discuss - "What do you look for in a guy?" ... well, like I said, it's kind of complicated really, because I guess what I am looking for is always constantly changing... everyday I learn something new, and this totally affects what it is that I want and mostly, what it is that I need. And really, I am very picky in a lot of ways because I only settle for the best."
You only settle for the best? Well let me tell yah, I'm far from being the best! :( I guess I'm eliminated from your list!
"I am looking for a guy who is--cute (not just physically but emotionally too)"
Well who isn't.
"-caring and sensitive (big bonus marks for this)"
I'm the most caring and sensitive person I know. :D
"- loving (if you want to be with me, you have to have a very big heart)"
I have a huge heart and lots of love to give away.
"-thoughtful"
I guess I can be thoughtful, whatever that means. I don't play close attention to little details. In those cases, it appears that I don't care. And honestly, I probably don't. They are only small details.
"-romantic and emotionally sensitive and devoted to his partner (he has to know the way to my heart ---- and it's not all about food!; needs to understand the importance of romance in a relationship - candle-lit dinners, cuddling and watching a movie, erotic massages, personal gifts, warm sensual baths together, etc.)"
I'm romantic and emotionally sensitive. I love doing this little romantic things. Like going behind the Library at Parliament and watch the sunset. Talk a nice long walk along the canal. Spend an afternoon lazying aboot in the park. Cuddling while watching a movie or TV. Or just plain and simple sleeping over and holding and hugging the guy til we both fall asleep.
"-inspiring, motivated (knows what he wants and tries his best to get it)"
I'm all about inspiring and motivation. I'm the inspiring and motivation guru! People ask, "Where's Chad? The inspiring and motivation guru?"
"-thought-provoking (I like someone who has a lot to say and is interesting when they say it; I like someone who can make me think about things and make me want to know more)"
I think it's safe to say that I've made you think. And if I haven't I tend to be quite philosophical, so chances are I'll make you think then. Plus I'm very smart too. So there is many things I can teach you. :)
"-humorous and animated (very important; I require an individual with good wit, easy to get along with; not necessarily a comedian; I guess sarcastic humor is my favourite because it can be alot of fun)"
I'm the least funniest person on this earth. And I've got the award to prove it! I'm not sarcastic in anyway! I wouldn't know what it was even if it slapped me in the face!
"-friendly, outgoing, amiable (not necessarily everyone's gossip queen -just someone who likes being around other people and who people like being around; but doesn't need to have a lot of friends to prove that he's worthy)"
I'm completely friendly. Everyone tends to like me straight off. I just have this personality that people enjoy. I guess you can say that I'm none threatening, which makes me extremely approachable and trustworthy. I'm not always out going. I have a terrible tendancy to get extremely shy and close up. Which I actually hate! I'm all aboot Amiability! That's my middle name!
"-honest and trustworthy (another important one; I don't like people who lie... complete honesty is the name of the game)"
I don't know what to say without it sounding like a brag, but I'm completely honest and trustworthy. I have no reason to be anything else.
"-self-respecting and true to himself"
I have tons of self respect and I'm always true to myself. I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't have low self esteem, but again, I am human and if you prick me, I will bleed.
"-reliable and responsible"
Uhh, I don't know what these words are. Hmmm. LOL I'm more of a carefree spirit. So in most cases. Reliability and Responsibility are the first things I toss out the window. But, in general however, I do have a sense of responsibility. And I can always be relied on.
"-devoted to his cause (a favourable interest is important in everyone's life)"
I don't have a cause per say. I do love Janet Jackson! And I guess you can say my current cause is my Teddy! :)
"-physically active and adventurous (definitely doesn't have to be muscular or an athlete per say, just needs to have a drive to stay active)"
I love doing fun activities. Like hiking in Gatineau! Once the fall comes, I'll be living on that mountain! Constantly hiking! And I'll be more active in the fall than the summer, I tend to stay in doors and try and stay cool. I love camping too! That's always adventurous!
"-partial to the Arts and who is creative in one way or another (music, film, fashion, galleries and other cultural activities)"
I have no inclination when it comes to the Arts! I'm not creative in anyway. Unless you think my Janet website is creative. I can't write, I can't sing, I can't dance, I can't act, I can't draw or paint. Athough I took piano a hundred years ago, so I can kinda still play that. But that's the extent of that.
"-interested in the same music interests (ie. pop/dance [Madonna, Sarah Mclachlan,Whitney Houston, Nsync, Backstreet Boys], trance, house, and bass) and activities (ie. sports [rollerblading, soccer, biking, swimming, golf], Art [film, fashion, etc.], etc. that I am interested in"
Ahh, EXCUSE ME GIRLFRIEMD!!!! But I don't see Janet's name on the top of your list! I hate Madonna! I'm eclectic when it comes to music. I love it all. I just absolutely love Janet. But I love everything from country to heavy metal, to gospel to classical, to R&B to show tunes! Everything. The only activity I love is those concerned with the outdoors. (i.e. hiking). I'm not really into competitive sports. I don't like the beach or swimming. I don't like golf and soccer. And biking gives me a sore ass.
"-open-minded sexually and sensually (I like boys that are very open with their bodies, and who have a sense of spirituality when it comes to sex; who like to explore themselves and their partner; not afraid to try and experience new things)"
Hmmm, I think I lose out on major points here! I don't have spirituality concerning sex. I don't even know what that is or how to achieve it. However, I am a huge explorer of sex and I'm not affraid to try something new. Actually that's all I like about sex. I tend to get bored and uninterested with the traditional sex routine. Make out, feel each other up, get naked, have sex, orgasm and that it. That doesn't stimuate me nor does it have me coming back for more.
"I am not looking for a guy who is-
-macho (very unattractive trait; I prefer someone who is kind and sensitive towards themselves and others)
-into girls, cars, video games, or toys
-vain (a positive self-image is important, but vanity is a sin)
-fixated on the size of his penis (really, I have had enough experience to know that it doesn't really matter!)
-insensitive, cold or unapproachable to other people (life's too short to waste time on attitude)
-every fag's fantasy (I like someone is simple and down-to-earth; a hot stud is not always attractive in my eyes)
-tacky (in every sense of the word)"
Well just to quickly sum that up. I'm macho, I love girls, cars, video games, toys are a turn on, I'm soooo vain, and I have a huge, huge thick penis, I'm everyone's fantasy, girls and guys and mother natures beasts, and I'm all aboot tacky!
Whatever! I'm none of those things.
"My turn-ons? tall and slim bois, with shy/timid personalities, smooth bodies, tanned complexion, boxer briefs, nice round-shape ass, tatoos and piercings, nice eyes, big juicy lips, feet, raver bois, pregnant women (don't ask!)... simply too many to list........"
I am tall although I'm not a toothpick. I've got very broad shoulders and a thick build. Kind of like a beefy hockey player. I am shy like I said before and I can be a tad bit timid at times, but that all goes away with time. I'm smooth and have a tanned complexion! I wear boxerbriefs, but sadly I don't have an ass. I have not tatoos or piercings, I have sad puppy dog eyes, nice lips (I've been told). I've got big ole sasqautch feet. I'm sooooo not a raver boi. And It's impossible for me to be pregnant.
"Turn-offs? Hairy guys, long hair, hair in general..hehe..heavy metal/rap freaks, bikini underwear, bad breath, old dirty men, bikers, dirty sex, dirty underwear, big muscles... again, too many to list"
I don't like hairy guys either. I'm not hairy thank god. However, long hair doesn't bother me. I'm curious though, what do you define as dirty sex?
So....yeah, that's about it. It pretty much describes as plain as possible what I want and need in a partner. I don't think I ask for a lot, do you?"
What? noooooo. Oh no... no, no, no... well...
Well that brings me to the end of this email. I'll write another one later telling you what I'm looking for in a guy!
Cheers!
Chad.
The following is the second email I sent after the one above.
Hey Teddiness :)
Hmmm, what do I look for in a guy? Well, lets start with physical appearance. 1 head, 2 arms, 2 legs, 1 torso and 10 fingers and 10 toes. Yeah so I'm shallow! Leave me alone. The most important part of a guy to me is his shoulders. I like guys with broad shoulders. I don't really care what my guy looks like, cause its his personality I'll be in love with. But don't get me wrong, I'm not going to fall in love with someone if they're completely unattractive. Cute features are always a bonus. And I'll share with you the features that I like best and I always look for. I love lips. I love full, pouty lips. Lips say a lot about a person and what they're thinking. Like if you're sad, or happy. When you've been bad and so on. I like puppy dog eyes the most. If he was over 6 feet tall, that would be awesome! Clean, white teeth and healthy gums are a must. I like guys with big manly hands. Clean finger and toe nails are essential. Guys who don't get manicures or pedicures are a complete turn off. And that's it. Oh I forgot, guys with brown curly hair kill me! I love, love, love brown curly hair!
Okay, on to their personalities! Yah, how fun is this? Most importantly, I'd want my guy to be real, to be true to himself. Basically, I would prefer my guy to be an older brother type. He'd be independent, strong willed, predetermined, smart and motivated. He'd be extremely caring, supportive, loving, sensitive, trustworthy, and affectionate. He'd be the type to stick up for me no matter what and he'd always stand by my side. He'd be a great listener and give any advice or support. He'd know how to comfort me and cheer me up. He'd make me laugh all the time. I think humor is so important. He'd be playful to. I could tickle him and wrestle with him. Play cute little foreplay games with him. He wouldn't be afraid to cry. I think a guy who cries is beautiful, it melts my heart. I'm sure there are many other details I could include, but I can't think of them right now.
What I don't like in a guy: I don't like a follower. I don't like guys who are overly critical, or judgmental. I hate it when people are mean and say mean things about other people. I can't stand an overly picky person or a compulsive complainer. I don't want my guy to be overly negative or give up easily. I'd prefer the guy to problem solve and work things out. I don't like a guy who is overly self-righteous either. This list is considerably shorter than the above one. These are the main things I just won't tolerate with my boyfriend. All these traits negate the qualities I like in my man.
Okay, okay, I did a section on what I want physically in my guy, so I guess I'll add on a little section of what I don't want. I don't want a guy with more than 20% percent body fat (meaning, I don't want him to be extremely fat!) I do find a lot of chubby guys cute and have slept with some. The head has to be somewhat proportioned to the body. Small heads freak me out. I don't like skinny guys. A waistline less than 28 is unhealthy. I'd prefer a waistline of 30 or more. I like to see some meat on his bones. Guys with short stubby fingers also freak me out. And I've decided that hairy guys are just not for me. So that's it.
Well what do you think?
Chad.
