
[Fade up from Loki and Faith in the dressing room]
[PAGE]: The action doesn't stop though as this next match is sure to be,
well, one can only
say dynamite...if not hell in the ring!! The return of "the Legacy" Lennox
Mullroix ladies and
gentlemen, as he pits himself against...
[McCOY]: ...the man who brought the Axis to its greatest point ever by
joining the Darkness...
[PAGE]: ...one man's opinion...as he pits himself against Loki, who yes,
only recently alligned
his Axis power alongside that of Ripper Longshanks' Darkness, arguably
creating the most powerful
incarnation of the Darkness the wrestling world has ever seen.
[McCOY]: I'm not going to argue that point Eddie. Loki took a big step in
bringing his
men over to the Darkside to fight the idiocy of the Authority, and I have to
say that this
match is going to affect the outcome of this blood feud, even if that moron
Mullroix isn't
an Authority member.
[PAGE]: And let's not forget the most important thing about this bout...it
is going to be a TABLES, LADDERS, AND CHAIRS match.
[The camera pans over the ringside area where said components of the match
are strewn about,
awaiting the fun that is to come.]
[PAGE]: Anything and everything in this match is virtually legal, but it
still has to be
the one, two, three, that is made by Referee Barry Alexander to decide the
outcome.
[McCOY]: This is going to be one for the history books Eddie.
[PAGE]: Absolutely...and without further adieu, let's get to ring annoucer
"Diamond" Lou
Walsh to get this match underway, another example of what you only see HERE,
in the CSWA.
[The camera fades from Page and McCoy to "Diamond" Lou Walsh, who stands
smiling in the ring.
The bell sounds three times.]
[DIAMOND LOU]: LADIES and GENTLEMEN, the following contest is scheduled for one
fall, and is a TABLES, LADDERS, AND CHAIRS MATCH!!
[The crowd's excitement is obvious as the camera pans over the audience,
some holding signs
crying for the TLC contest.]
[DIAMOND LOU]: Approaching the ring area...
[Thunder crashes, rolling out over the audience in waves. As the first
chords of Falkenbach's
"Walhall" drift out over top, the figure of a winged man can be seen,
emerging at the top of the
ramp.]
[DIAMOND LOU]: ...representing the DARKNESS...hailing from Edmonton, Alberta,
weighing 215 lbs.,
LOOOOOOOOOOOOKIIIIIII!!
[Loki, as well as wearing the wings, is dressed in his typical black cargo
pants, red Airwalks,
and a "F*ck Jack Cross" t-shirt. His black hair has been formed into small,
fat spikes. His
demon-red eyes are lined thick and heavy with black, giving him a
particularly sinister
appearance.]
[The wings unfurl and he glides down the ramp moreso than he actually walks down it. Gripped in his hands are two lillies. Loki, eyes downcast, face grim, holds them before him as though he were part of a funeral procession.]
[As he approaches the bottom of the ramp, he pauses for a moment, and amid the crashing of the music, the Norseman very gently, very daintily, peels away one of the petals. He observes the crowd thoughtfully, as if they are the show and lays the petal on his tongue.]
[The Norseman, still chewing on the petal, finally appears frustrated with appearances and rips apart the rest of the lily with his teeth, leaving bits of flower on the ground, but no doubt ingesting the majority of it. He leans over the barricade at ring-side and passes the intact lily to a young blonde woman before kissing her deeply.]
[The music fades and at the same time, the lights go down. Loki starts into
the ring.]
[DIAMOND LOU]: AND his opponent...
[All of the lights go out in the arena as the very familar opening hits the
airwaves...]
[A green spotlight, blue spotlight, and purple spotlight all appear on the
stage before
converging into one brilliant strobe as the crowd noise intensifies.]
[PAGE]: We all know what this means!
[McCOY]: We all know WHO this means...
[To everyone's surprise, instead of continuing with Will Smith's 'I'm
Comin', which is the
Legacy's usual entrance theme...the PA cuts into a song of a different kind:
"Faith" by George
Michael.]
[The massive multicolored spotlight swings over to the side of the stage,
where a motorized ring
cart bursts through the curtain, driven by a gorgeous Swedish model in a
green string bikini. In
the back, sitting on a majestic throne, is "The Legacy" Lennox Mullroix. As
the crowd gets sight
of him and begins to roar, Mullroix stands up with his heavily muscled arms
in the air. He points
at Loki in the ring with a big grin on his face as he begins to 'cut the
rug' on the back of the
cart, dancing to the lyrics of "Faith."]
[DIAMOND LOU]: ...weighing 275 lbs., making his return to professional
wrestlinggggggg....
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE IS "THE LEGACYYYYYYY" LENNOXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
MULLLLLLLLLROIIIIIIIIIIIIIIX!
[McCOY]: I must admit though, he ain't a bad dancer...
[Mullroix, still dancing away, is dressed in neon purple wrestling boots and
neon purple wrestling trunks that go to the top of his muscled thighs with
the word 'LEGACY' emblazoned on the back in neon green letters. He has pink
athletic tape around each wrist and he wears a neon green tanktop that shows
the 'End of Days' logo on the front, with the words "Loki vs. The Legacy..."
underneath it. The back has an airbrushed image of Mullroix in bed with
Loki's wife Faith, both covered by sheets, along with the words "Battle for
the BITCH!" in pink letters above it.]
[McCOY]: He may be dressed to kill, but Loki is ready to maim after
seeing that t-shirt...
[As the cart pulls up to the ring, Mullroix steps off onto the ring apron
and leans back against the ropes with his arms spread wide, bathed in camera
flashes from the entire crowd. He then climbs the buckles and slowly points
out at the entire crowd in a sweeping motion before flexing his right arm,
highlighted by the spiral tattoo that says 'ABYSS' underneath it that is on
his left shoulder. After the posedown, Mullroix backflips into the ring and
takes 'center stage' getting down on one knee with both arms in the air
before bringing them up in the standard bicep flex. He then beckons for the
mic as the music finally dies and the lights come up.]
[PAGE]: Another attention grabbing entrance by the Legacy.
[McCOY]: He came in on a throne, he'll go out in a body bag.
[MULLROIX]: I just want to say that this match is dedicated to Faith...the
soon-to-be mother of a little Mullroix!
[PAGE]: How much farther can he go with this?
[As if in response, Lennox walks over to the cart and pulls out three dozen
long stemmed roses
from under the throne...]
[McCOY]: Ummm, Loki's bouquet seems to be withering as we speak...
[The Legacy walks over and tosses the massive rose arrangment onto the lap of the blonde that Loki kissed earlier.]
[MULLROIX]: Those are for you, baby. (He looks over at Loki) You got her
flowers too, I see. Those are...quaint. Anyway, I'd give ya a kiss before I
whip Loki's ass, but while some people can't kiss people who smoke, I can't
kiss someone who just had Loki's tongue in her mouth. Baby, that's nasty.
Get yourself some Binaca or something and I'll make it up to ya after the
match with some REAL TLC!
[He pulls the tanktop off and tosses it into her lap before rolling back
into the ring to face
the enraged Loki.]
[MULLROIX]: As for YOU...I got a little sumptin sumptin for ya and it goes
like this:
Your wife may be sweet You'll be eatin' a table You may have the Darkness When it's all said and done [Loki has had enough and he charges Lennox in a rage, who rolls out of the
ring and showcases his
speed by effortlessly running around the ring before Loki can reach him,
grabbing a chair as he
does, and then sliding into the ring. As Loki follows, he's met with a piece
of steel to the
head.]
THWACK!
[PAGE]: The bell just sounded, we are underway and a chair has already been
used! Get ready
folks, this one's going to be a massacre.
[McCOY]: Yeah, but who'll be the deceased? My money's on Pimp Daddy Stupid
over there...
[PAGE]: Well apparently that first chair usage was meant to infuriate more
than injure, as
Mullroix has already slid out of the ring to celebrate!
[McCOY]: Look at him prancing around, making those lewd gestures towards
the ladies...man, did I miss
this guy.
[PAGE]: Loki won't put up with it for long though as he's back on his feet!
[Loki ventures to charge outside and lay a boot in the ass to Mullroix, but
is held back by
Barry Alexander, who is trying to organize some semblance of order.
Alexander orders
Mullroix back into the ring and lays the count on him. Mullroix, with a
huge smirk, obliges
and rolls back in. Loki once more shows the initiative and charges past
Alexander, shoving
Mullroix into the turnbuckle with an oomph.]
[PAGE]: If Mullroix keeps that showboating throughout this match we're going
to have to peel Loki
off of Mullroix's carcas if Loki has his way!!
[McCOY]: Let's hope Loki sends that pompous ass back to where he came from.
[Loki shoves his shoulder continuously into Mullroix's midsection, and then
with a yell of rage,
begins to bite into Mullroix's face.]
[PAGE]: Dear GOD!
[McCOY]: The Dancing Fool won't like that one bit.
[Referee Alexander steps in and instructs Loki to break the bite, counting
to four, when Loki
finally stops. Loki gives a yell and once again continues to bite!]
[PAGE]: This is madness!
[McCOY]: And the fun hasn't even begun yet!
[Once again Alexander steps in, much to the displeasure of the fans.
Alexander has to literally
tear Loki from Mullroix's face, which shows signs of nearly being broken
open. Loki protests as
Mullroix is able to collect his thoughts. He sees the chair he used at the
opening near his feet
and picks it up, turning his back and leaning on the ground, so Loki is none
the wiser when
he walks back towards Mullroix.]
[McCOY]: Look out...
[Lennox spears Loki in the midsection, causing the crazy Norseman to stagger
backwards, as
Mullroix, much to the delight of the fans, cracks the steel chair over the
back of Loki not
just once...]
THWACKKKKK!
[PAGE]: HERE WE GO!!
[Not just twice...]
THWACCCCCCK!
[But three times!]
THWAAAAACK!
[McCOY]: Oooh I'm going to love this...
[Lennox touches his face to make sure he wasn't cut open by Loki's savage
biting. Loki, who sits
face down on the mat, begins to stir and is met by a few slaps to the face
by Mullroix.]
[PAGE]: "The Legacy" out to humiliate more than anything!
[McCOY]: You think??
[Lennox steps back, steel chair still in hand, and taunts Loki to give it to
him. The two men
circle each other, when Loki takes the initiative to charge Mullroix. The
latter swings the
chair wildly at his charging foe, only to miss. Loki hooks an arm around
Mullroix's neck and
snaps him down to the canvas with a thud.]
[PAGE]: Loki with some more offense as the brash Mullroix took a risk hoping
to hit a grand
slam, swinging that chair wildly!
[McCOY]: [snidely] Ever consider a baseball commentary job?
[Loki's eyes widen as he picks up the poor beaten chair. With a glint of
insanity, he yells
"REVENGE!" at the top of his lungs and begins to swing wildly at the floored
Mullroix.]
THWACK!
THWACK!
THWACK!
[PAGE]: LOKI IS GOING INSANE HERE!
[McCOY]: GOING insane??
[Mullroix tries to roll and take the brunt of the chair shots on his back,
but still
suffers from Loki's attempts. Loki then lunges onto Mullroix's frame and
begins to blatantly
choke the downed superstar. Referee Barry Alexander looks totally in awe
from Loki's
homicidal aggression, but lays the count still anyway. At four, Loki breaks
the choke and
resumes his practice from earlier, BITING Lennox's face!]
[McCOY]: Loki must have missed a meal today.
[Once again at four, Loki breaks, this time, having succeeded to gnaw enough
to cause blood
to drip forth from Mullroix's face.]
[McCOY]: OH YEAH bleed him!!
[PAGE]: Ripper obviously making a great choice in obtaining the partnership
and friendship
of the crazed Viking!!
[Loki stands up and smears some of Mullroix's blood on his face, mimicking
war paint. He again
yells "REVENGEEEEEE!" which is met with a chorus of boos. Loki slings
himself outside, seeing
Mullroix is still out of it on his back in the ring, and picks up a VERY
tall ladder. The fans
cheer loudly, knowing what lays ahead will not be pretty!]
[Just as Loki is about to make his way back in though, Mullroix comes to
life by charging forward
with a baseball slide!]
CRASHHHHH!
[PAGE]: MULLROIX JUST DECAPATATED LOKI NEARLY WITH THAT BASEBALL SLIDE,
CAUSING THE LADDER IS
CRASH RIGHT INTO HIS FACE!
[McCOY]: He'd better get up and quick, that damn ladder is still laying on
him!!
[Mullroix looks at the fans, and again gives a flirtatious glance to Faith,
who only looks
away in disgust. "The Legacy" quickly mounts the ropes, and with one final
glance, launches
himself off the turnbuckle with a flying leg drop!]
THUNNNNNNNNNNNNNK!
[PAGE]: HOLY CRAP! HOLY CRAP! It's a TRAIN WRECK! "THE LEGACY" CONNECTED
WITH THAT FLYING LEG
DROP OFF THE TURNBUCKLE TO THE OUTSIDE, AND ONTO THE LADDER WHICH STILL WAS
LAYING ON TOP OF
LOKI!
[McCOY]: That idiot just took both himself and his opponent out!!
BRAINLESS...yet
brilliant!
[The crowd gives saintly status to profanity by chanting "holy shit! holy
shit!" repeatedly
as Barry Alexander comes out to survey the damage himself, making sure
neither man was seriously
injured. After a few moments, Loki shoves the ladder off, and Mullroix
picks himself up off
the floor, a dazed yet content grin plastered on his mug!]
[PAGE]: Mullroix seemingly ENJOYED that!
[Loki, holding his midsection, walks over and picks up another chair, just
as Mullroix has done.
They begin to smash chairs together in their somewhat weakened state,
achieving nothing. Loki
manages to get close enough to slip a knee to the midsection, winding
Mullroix.]
[McCOY]: Quick knee there, can he follow it up...
[Loki drops his chair and then is able to connect with a DDT, crashing
Mullroix's battered
face onto the awaiting kiss of steel!]
[PAGE]: There's your answer! YOUR ANSWER!
[The two men lay on the ground, Mullroix's bloodied face leaving an imprint
on the chair, as
Barry Alexander stands, unsure of what to do with the carnage around him.
The aforementioned
bloodied Mullroix lays on the ground with his hands on his face, in obvious
pain, as Loki,
perhaps the least worst off, regroups by picking up a table, and setting it
up on the outside.
Seeing he has Mullroix still out of it, he shakily sets up yet ANOTHER
table, on top of the one
already up!]
[PAGE]: THE FANS ARE GOING NUTS at the mere site of TWO tables. TWO tables!
[McCOY]: Staples is going to love us for buying so many of these damn
things...
[Mullroix finally gathers himself and sees Loki finishing with the second
table. He picks up
the bloodied chair, and with a look of anger, is able to sneak up from
behind and connect
with a MASSIVE chair shot to the back of Loki's head, sending Loki down
hard, almost knocking
over the two tables. Mullroix retains his sense of ego still as he stands
over Loki and
yells...]
[MULLROIX]: BRING IT, BIATTTTCH!
[PAGE]: THE FANS are LOVING THIS!!
[McCOY]: What happened to impartiality PAGE?? COME ON LOKI!!
[Mullroix kicks Loki in the sides a few times, as he hooks the latter's
ankle inside the
chair's folds...]
[PAGE]: If he gets this Loki is gonna be limp for a while!!
[McCOY]: He doesn't need Viagra like you Page.
[PAGE]: That's NOT what I meant.
[McCOY]: It's okay Page, Bob Dole uses it, be proud.
[As the bickering continues in the broadcast booth, the WAR continues on the
outside, as
Mullroix takes a few steps back and runs, lifting one boot and CRASHING down
on the chair, which
is still around Loki's ankle.]
[Loki lets out a yell of EXTREME agony as Mullroix follows up by stepping
repeatedly on the
chair. "The Legacy" grabs another ladder and throws it inside the ring, and
follows it in,
as Alexander finally returns inside too, beginning a count on Loki, who has
gotten the chair off
his ankle.]
[ALEXANDER]: ONE
TWO
THREE
[Mullroix sets up the ladder in the ring and then goes out to fetch another
one, when Loki
suddenly rolls under the ring!]
[PAGE]: Where the Hell is he going??
[McCOY]: Greenland?
[Alexander sticks his head outside the ropes to see if he can spot Loki, but
to no avail.
Mullroix becomes visibly annoyed as the blood continues to drip from his
face, and hops outside
to find his foe. From out of nowhere, a pair of hands reaches out from
under the ring, and pulls
Lennox flat to the ground.]
[McCOY]: HAHA, Pimp Daddy just got taken for a ride there.
[PAGE]: Loki pulling out all the stops here for sure! Unorthodox is surely
his middle name!
[ALEXANDER]: FIVE
SIX
[Loki slithers out and kicks and stomps at Mullroix's head, using his one
good leg, making
things difficult though as he tries to steady himself on his hurt ankle.
Hearing the count,
he picks up Mullroix and rams him face first into the steel post, and then
immediately
hurls him back into the ring.]
[PAGE]: FINALLY these two ring warriors are back in the ring.
[Loki looks over and takes down the ladder, placing it flat on its back. He
reaches down and
grabs Lennox and hauls him over by the hair and with another yell which
rings of insanity,
picks up Mullroix and delivers a DEVESTATING PILEDRIVER onto the ladder.]
[PAGE]: OH MY OH MY GOD!! THE FANS are on their feet!!
[McCOY]: And Mullroix is on his back!!
[Loki, whose leg still suffers, covers for the first pin fall of the match.]
[ALEXANDER]: ONE...
TWO...
[McCOY]: See ya in hell Mullroix!!!
THREEEEEEE...
[PAGE]: HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE! LENNOX MULLROIX GOT HIS SHOULDER UP! What
determination!!
[McCOY]: What luck...
[Loki slams the mat with rage and frustration as he rolls onto his back, and
pulls up Mullroix
once again, hoping to inflict further damage. Loki throws a few fists to
the head of "the
Legacy" and throws him into the ropes. Mullroix somehow counters it and
builds enough momentum
up to execute:]
[PAGE]: HURRICANRANA by MULLROIX!!
[Loki's frame is hurled, unfortunately for him, ontop of the ladder he just
used to piledrive
his nemesis onto. Loki arches his back in agony as once again Lennox is
able to shake the cob
webs off and pick up one of the many abused chairs laying in the ring.
Mullroix, regaining
his composure, points down at Loki's frame, and receives a flurry of
cheers.]
[PAGE]: Mullroix asking the fans if they want to see some steel here!
[McCOY]: Barbarians.
THWACKKKKKK!
THWACK!
THWACKKKK!
[The fans ooooooooooh and cheer madly as Mullroix delivers a series of chair
shots to
Loki's body, which still lay on the ladder. "The Legacy" picks up Loki, who
is clearly
starting to erode. Wobbling on his feet, Lennox steps back and delivers a
crescent kick to
Loki's chin, causing the Norseman to fall into the ropes.]
[PAGE]: Can Mullroix capitalize further!!
[With Loki against the ropes, Mullroix charges forward, and raises the chair
to his foe's
face, and executes a flying calf kick against the chair, sandwiching it into
Loki's face.
Loki flies over the top rope and collapses near the announce table.]
[PAGE]: "THE LEGACY" MAKING HIS RETURN HERE WITH FORM!
[McCOY]: And pain...that bastard just cracked Loki's nose open it seems...
[The camera zooms in to see Loki sprawled out on his hands and knees,
lifting up his head to
show blood cascading from his nose. Referee Barry Alexander begins the
count, hoping in his mind
that this bloodbath would come to an end soon.]
[ALEXANDER]: ONE
[Mullroix follows Loki out and picks him up, only to be greeted with a
severe eye gauge, which
nearly ripped Mullroix's eye out of his socket.]
[McCOY]: LOKI still clearly in this, despite his shot ankle.
[Lennox retaliates in kind though by throwing his knee squarely into Loki's
groin, eliciting
ooooooooooooh's from the males in the audience. Mullroix slams Loki's head
into the announce
table, as Page and McCoy stand up from their chairs.]
[PAGE]: Come on keep this in the ring!!
[McCOY]: Shut your hole Page, let the man do what he wants, especially if it
means him
injuring himself!
[Mullroix rolls Loki onto the announce table, and picks up another steel
chair laying around
ringside and cracks it onto the back of Loki's head a few times.]
[The crowd erupts as Mullroix does a little dance and points at busty brunette in the first row. Legacy slides in the ring and sets up the
ladder already in
the ring, near the ropes, and right across from the announce table.]
[PAGE]: I'm not going to wait around and see what happens!!
[Page removes his headset briefly and gets the hell out of the way as
Mullroix climbs the ladder.
Alexander has stopped his count and tries to persuade Mullroix to stop, but
only receives
a raised middle finger for his efforts. Mullroix stands at the top of the
ladder, and
then throws himself off with a somersault leg drop!!! Loki however, at the
last possible
second, rolls off the table, leaving Mullroix to embrace the table on his
own!!]
CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASHHHHHHHHH!
[The fans explode with a "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" chant as McCoy stares with
a look of glee on
his face. Page returns and throws on his headset, as Loki lays outside the
debris area, as
Mullroix is unmoving from that kamakazi maneuever!]
[PAGE]: SWEET MOTHER OF MERCY MULLROIX HAS VIRTUALLY DESTROYED HIMSELF WITH
THAT ATTEMPT!!
[McCOY]: YES YES YES!!
[Barry Alexander rolls out of the ring to check on the status of both men,
who lay exhausted
and bloodied. It is Loki however who emerges first, and stands to his feet,
hobbling on his
ankle and checking his nose intermittantly. He shoves Alexander out of the
way and pulls
Mullroix up by the hair, and throws him into the steel stairs with another
yell of "REVENGEEEE!"]
CRAAAAASH!
[Loki grins with pleasure as he sees that control has switched again to his
side. He throws
Mullroix into the ring and lays on him for the pin. Alexander scrambles
back inside and begins
the count...]
[PAGE]: MULLROIX MAY HAVE FINISHED HIMSELF OFF WITH THAT SOMERSAULT LEG
DROP!!
[ALEXANDER]: ONE!!!
TWOOOOOO!!
THREEEEEEEEEEEEEE....
[PAGE]: NO NO!!
[McCOY]: DAMN ALEXANDER WAS CLEARLY OUT OF PLACE!!
[Loki screams with frustration and reaches over to BITE Mullroix again,
before picking him up and
throwing a few nerve strikes into Mullroix's neck area. Lennox falls into
the turnbuckle, where
Loki hoists him up and simply shoves him off onto the DOUBLE stacked tables
which were assembled
earlier in the match.]
[PAGE]: OH NOOOOOOOOOOO.
[McCOY]: OH YES!!!
[Mullroix sits dazed on the table as Loki climbs the turnbuckle himself.]
[PAGE]: I THINK WE'RE GOING TO SEE THE VIKING LONG JUMP HERE!!!
[The fans stand to their feet and begin roaring as Loki now takes the risk
and hurls himself
up into the air, and CRASHING DOWN ONTO LENNOX'S MIDSECTION WITH THE VIKING
LONG JUMP!!! The
two tables are DEMOLISHED INSTANTLY as both men crumple on contact!]
[CROWD]: HOLYYYYYYYYY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!
[PAGE]: OH GOD!!! THEY'RE OBLITERATED! THIS IS OVER!!
[McCOY]: PIMP DADDY IS GOIN TO THE HOME FOR GOOD!!!! PIN HIM YOU SON OF A
BITCH!!!
[Alexander is left not knowing what to do, as both men lay completely out of
it on the outside.
Alexander simply begins the count.]
[ALEXANDER]: ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
[Still no movement...]
FIVE!
SIX!
[McCOY]:
but you're nothing but sour
I'll beat ya in minutes
Ain't paid by the hour.
and suckin' on chair
while I'll be dancing on mat
and walking on air.
But I have myself
and me and I'll hurt ya;
Put ya on the shelf.
you'll be cursing your life
while I'll be in bed
F*CKING YOUR WIFE!