[Fade up]
[PAGE]: Welcome back to WildFire! and coming up we have The Darkness taking on Jeff Kushner and Python in a first round tag team tournament match.
[MCCOY]: Even though the Darkness haven't been very active lately you can damn well guarantee that they will take this match to those two morons and advance to the next round.
[Slowly the lights start to dim until only a small spotlight is focused in on a lone speaker high above the arena. Without warning a loud screeching sound blasts through the speaker making the more shaky of faces jump in their seats. A moment later the soft voice of a frightened child can be heard.]
[CHILD]: I can't be afraid. I know it is only in my imagination. But yet I can feel it closing in around me. So cold........so harsh so.......
[A second voice interrupts the child. This one is harsh and raspy]
[VOICE]: DARK!
[CHILD]: [frightened sound to her voice now] Y.y..yes. Dark.
[VOICE]: Get used to it child. For there is no more light...................ONLY DARKNESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!
[With a loud bang, the CSWAtron jumps to life and the blood red words The Darkness appear in the middle of the screen. It quickly dissappears and is replaced by the faces of Ripper Longshanks and Jeremiah Blackwell slowly merging into one.From the lone speaker the easily recognizable voice of Ozzy Osbourne screams ino the arena.]
[As Randy Rhodes starts hammering away on his guitar, the arena becomes completely dark except for a single strobe that starts flashing at the top of the entrance ramp. A moment later thick smoke starts to billow up from underneath the metal rampway which gives the whole area a surreal eerie feeling. ]
[The CSWAtron flashes again this time showing "The Loose Cannon' in the middle of the ring arms raised in victory the ever presend shark grin on his facec. Another flash of light and this time the screen shows "Blackjack" Jeremiah Blackwell giving some unknown wrestler the Blackjack Driver onto the concrete floor outside the ring.]
[A lone figure walks throught he thick smoke the strobe light giving his movement a jerky half crazed look. The fans quickly recognize the person as Jeremiah Blackwell and they let him have it with a chorus of boos. Blackwell for his part ignores the fans and quickly adjusts the thick fingerless black leather gloves on his hands. Blackwell's hair is down to his collar, a thick goatee covers his well worn face. He is dressed in a pair of old style wrestling trunks with a matching pair of black calf high wrestling boots that have the initials J.B. stenciled on the back.]
[Above him the CSWAtron shows the latest incarnation of The Darkness taking out Garrett Davidson at the last sacntioned MSWA show. The screen flashes again this time showing Blackwell and Ripper walking down a dimly lit corridor. In the background it looks like a flood of blood is following them.]
[Without warning "The Loose Cannon" Ripper Longshanks steps through the smoke and stands beside his partner. Ripper is dressed in a pair of full length black wrestling pants with the words Ripper written in blood red down each leg, roplets of what appears to be blood drip off the last R in his name. Ripper wrists and hands are wrapped up in white athletic tape and the words Deep End are written across the knuckles off each hand. The strobe light gives the tattoo on his abdomen a life of it's own and it appears the eyes peeking out from behind the pair of hand tearing through his stomach are blinking.]
[As the CSWAtron shows various images of Ripper and Blackwell disposing of varioud opponents the two wrestlers slowly make their way to the ring. Boxes of half eaten popcorn and empty beer glasses bounce off the two men but instead of retaliating like most of the fans want to see, The Darkness simply walk down to ringside and slide into the ring]
[Ripper jumps onto the nearest turnbuckle and throws his arms into the air. The shark grin appears on his face and stares down at the crowd as if they are pieces of meat to be devoured. Blackwell starts walking around the middle of the ring his face devoid of emotion, his eyes hard and wicked.]
[Ripper jumps off the turnbuckle and starts making his way around the other three. Each time he climbs up the fans start booing. A few of the more brave start chanting "YOU SUCK" or "AUTHORITY RULES". Ripper just grins at the comments and returns the favor by spitting a wad of phlegm into the first row. Blackwell leans against the ropes and points a finger into the crowd and starts jawing at them. A can of beer soars over his head and bounces off the mat. Blackwell spins around grabs the can of beer and hurls it back into the crowd. Security rushes over to the hot spot and quickly escorts a fan out of the arena before any more trouble can erupt. Crazy Train starts to fade away as Blackwell and Ripper meet in the middle of the ring and wait for their opponents to arrive]
[Suddenly, the lights dim and "Flying High Again" by Ozzy Osbourne hits. The fans, not quite knowing who this is but kind of guessing, begin to cheer hopefully]
[DIAMOND LOU]: And now entering the ring Jeff Kushner and Pythonnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.................
[Suddenly, the entrance ramp explodes with pyro! The crowd explodes as first Jeff Kushner and then Python dash out through the fire.]
[The noise is deafening as Kushner slaps the fans' hands and Python, who is all over the place, tries to pump the crowd up (not that they need it...)]
[Suddenly, Python and Kushner sprint down to the ring and slide in. They hop up on opposite turnbuckles and pose to a thunderous ovation and thousands of flashing cameras.]
[Once the music dies out, they settle down. Python indistinctly points to Ripper Longshanks and whispers something to Kushner. They stop, look at Longshanks, look back at each other, and burst out laughing. Longshanks looks angry, but the referee soons restores order.]
PAGE: The team of Python and Jeff Kushner are now out here after making a deafening entrance to the song of "Flying High Again", which is rather approriate I might add...
MCCOY: What do they think is so funny???
PAGE: I'm not sure... it seems Python found something funny to do with Ripper Longshanks. Oh well... probably an inside joke.
MCCOY: Bah, they're both crazy!
[As Kushner and Python discuss a few last minute details, Longshanks, his usual shark grin replaced with a cold, icy stare towards their respective opponants, motions to Blackwell that he wants to start off the match. Jeremiah obliges him and takes his place in the Darkness' corner. Kushner and Python bump fists with each other, and Python climbs through the ropes towards his respective corner. The referee calls for the bell and we're underway. Jeff Kushner and Ripper Longshanks momentarily circle each other before locking up, Ripper hitting Jeff with a quick knee lift to the gut. A second knee lift to the head connects, and Longshanks springs off the ropes looking for a clothesline, but Kushner hits the deck and Longshanks misses, springing off the other ropes, greeted with a monkey flip in the middle of the ring by Kushner, sending Ripper flying across the ring. Kushner quickly sprung to his feet, yelling "Get up!" to Longshanks]
PAGE: And this capacity crowd is on it's feet!!! ON...IT'S...FEET!!!
MCCOY: Yeah, it's only because they couldn't install proper seats in this arena anyway.
PAGE: What???
MCCOY: Hey, if you had to sit up there in those uncomfortable seats, you'd be standing too!
PAGE: Whatever...Longshanks is rising to his feet here, and Kushner going for the superkick! HE MISSED!
[Longshanks hits Jeff with a boot to the stomach and goes for a sidewalk slam, but somehow Jeff flipped out of it and nailed the Loose Cannon with an amazing flying bulldog]
PAGE: WHAT A MOVE BY KUSHNER!!! And Kushner makes the tag to Python!
MCCOY: Come on, Ripper!!!
[Python picks Longshanks up by the hair and sends him into the ropes, hitting him with a flying dropkick. Longshanks rolls to the corner and tags in Jeremiah Blackwell. Blackwell charges into the ring with a running lariat, connecting with Python. He picks him up and hits Python with a vertical suplex, followed by an attempt at an inverted atomic drop, which Python flips out of and hits him with a tornado DDT.]
PAGE: Python tags in Kushner, who rises up to the top rope and connects with a huge flying guillotine legdrop!!! A cover...first cover of the match...
1...
2...
2 1/2...
MCCOY: And Blackwell gets a shoulder up!
PAGE: And Kushner goes right back to work on Blackwell with a series of fists to the face.
[Kushner connects with a knee drop to the face of Blackwell. A second knee drop, however, fails to connect and Jeremiah rolls to the Darkness' corner, tagging in the "Loose Cannon"]
MCCOY: And Jeff's knee looks to be hurt as he rolls around in the middle of the ring. Nice to see Kushner in a little bit of pain for a change.
PAGE: What the hell are you talking about?
MCCOY: Come on, Eddie, you know about those allegations...
PAGE: ...Which are exactly just that, Russell, "allegations".
MCCOY: Guilty until proven innocent as far as I'm concerned.
[Smelling blood, Ripper goes to work right away on Kushner's knee, stomping once, then twice. Kushner screamed in pain, as the Loose Cannon sprung off the ropes with an Asai Moonsault, which connected with Kushner]
PAGE: A cover attempt by the Darkness...
1...
2...
3...
PAGE: NO!!! Kushner just barely got his shoulder up!!! Unbelievable!!!
[Longshanks tagged Blackwell back in, and whipped Kushner into the ropes, the two Darkness members nailing him with a Double Flap Jack. Longshanks went to the outside, as Blackwell scooped up the fallen Kushner and nailed him with a huge body slam. Another quick tag back to Longshanks]
MCCOY: Longshanks goes up to the top rope, and Blackwell's got him in a Back Breaker Rack.
PAGE: Kushner's in trouble, as the "Loose Cannon" nails him with a flying double axhandle!!!
MCCOY: COVER HIM, RIPPER!!!
1...
2...
PAGE: And Python breaks the count!!! PYTHON BREAKS THE COUNT!!!
MCCOY: What a cheater! The Darkness had the match won!!!
PAGE: And the referee seems to be cautioning Python in the corner, but he doesn't see the Darkness double-teaming on Kushner! Right now, Ripper's the legal man...
MCCOY: Ah, anything's legal as long as you're not caught!
PAGE: Will you stop it?
MCCOY: Stop it? No, I'm loving it! Blackwell and Longshanks just landed an amazing Double DDT to Kushner and there's not a damn thing that Python can do about it!
PAGE: Longshanks with the cover...
1...
2...
PAGE:...and JEFF KICKS OUT AT TWO!!! What a match we have going here!!! The Darkness is throwing just about everything they have at Kushner, but he's giving it all he's got and what a valiant effort!!!
MCCOY: Luck...pure luck.
PAGE: Come on, you've gotta give him SOME credit here.
MCCOY: Credit? He's got more guts than brains, if you ask me!
[Longshanks makes another quick tag to Blackwell. The two continue to stomp away at Kushner in the corner, keeping him isolated in their corner. Once again, Python enters the ring, trying to break up this double team effort on Kushner, but once again the referee blocks him from entering the ring. A chorus of boos cascade down on the ring from as high up as the rafters]
PAGE: Come on, ref!
MCCOY: Like I said, the ref's just doing his job, keeping those cheaters out of the ring!
[Longshanks and Blackwell pick up the downed Kushner and connect with a Double Reverse Russian Leg Sweep as the referee continues to warn Python in the corner. The Darkness pick Jeff Kushner up again, setting him up for a Double Forward Russian Leg Sweep, but Kushner somehow reverses it and drives both Longshanks and Blackwell face first into the mat. The crowd roars with approval]
PAGE: WHAT A MOVE!!! WHAT...A...MOVE!!! All three men are down!!!
MCCOY: Jeff needs to get out of there and make the tag to Python!
[Jeff slowly climbed up to his hands and knees, the crowd urging him on. He staggered once, then twice, and then...]
PAGE: HE MADE THE TAG!!! JEFF KUSHNER HAS MADE THE TAG!!!
MCCOY: And Python is into the ring and he is absolutely on fire!!!
[As Ripper slowly rose to his feet, he was sent right back down to the mat with a spinning heel kick from Python. Blackwell was greeted the same way, with a spinning heel kick of his own. Python ran to the ropes and lept off the ropes with an amazing Corkscrew Springboard Plancha, connecting with Jeremiah Blackwell. A cover...]
1...
2...
Kick out at 2 and 7/8ths!!!
[Python once again rose to his feet and sprung off the ropes with a flying hurricanrana to Ripper Longshanks, sending him rolling to the outside. A lionsault to Blackwell, another cover...]
1...
2...
NO...He kicked out at 2!!!
[Python picked up Blackwell by the head, whipping him into the ropes and landing a Handspring Back Elbow. As Ripper once again enters the ring, his head meets the foot of Python with a huge thrust kick. Kushner stands in the corner, calling for the tag...]
PAGE: And Python tags Kushner back in!!!
MCCOY: He just got out of the ring a few minutes ago! Like I said, he's got more guts than brains!
PAGE: Kushner and Python whip Longshanks into the rope and nail him with a double clothesline, followed up by a double DDT!!! A double DDT!!!
MCCOY: They're forgetting about Blackwell!
[Blackwell, now back on his feet, landed a huge running lariat on Kushner, followed by another running lariat on Python.]
PAGE: And once again, Kushner and Python are down! Cover on Kushner...
1...
2...
3...
PAGE: NOOOOOOOO!!! HE KICKED OUT!!! KUSHNER KICKED OUT AT 2 1/2!!!
MCCOY: Unbelievable!
[Blackwell makes the quick tag to Longshanks; likewise, Jeff crawling towards the corner to once again tag in Python. Ripper grabs Jeff by the ankle in an attempt to stop him, but Jeff reverses it with an amazing enziguiri, sending Longshanks flying backwards and making the hot tag to Python.]
PAGE: Python climbing up to the top rope here, and...FROG SPLASH!!! A FROG SPLASH!!! Cover...
1...
2...
PAGE: Thr...NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! He just barely kicked out of that one!!! What a match!!! What a Match!!! And Python cannot believe that the "Loose Cannon" kicked out of that one.
MCCOY: He'd better believe it...and speaking of kicks, what a dropkick by the "Loose Cannon" to Python's face!
PAGE: He nailed him with that dropkick! Longshanks scoops him up and hits him with a bridging back suplex!
MCCOY: A cover!!!
1...
2...
PAGE: Python kicks out at 2!!! Longshanks picks him up and nails him with an awesome belly to back suplex! Another Belly to Back suplex!!! And a Full Nelson Slam, just for good measure!!!
PAGE: And a tag to Blackwell, who lands a neck breaker on Python!
[Jeremiah signals for the Blackjack Driver, when suddenly, from behind the curtain...]
PAGE: IT'S NAPALM...ALEX CONSTANTINE...MACE...ADAM-X!!! THE AUTHORITY ARE HERE!!! THE AUTHORITY ARE HERE!!!
MCCOY: What the HELL are they doing out here??? They're not even involved in this match!!!
PAGE: Jeff Kushner's a member of the Authority, that's why they're here...and speaking of Jeff, he just nailed Blackwell with a dropkick from behind!!!
MCCOY: A desperation move if I ever saw one!
PAGE: And Longshanks has got a hold of Jeff from behind, a boot to the midsection and...OH MY GOD!!! THE DEEP-END!!! RIPPER LONGSHANKS HAS LANDED THE DEEP-END ON JEFF KUSHNER, BUT HERE COMES THE AUTHORITY!!!
[With that, the rest of the Authority come charging down towards the ring, and Longshanks and Blackwell head out of the ring to join them]
PAGE: And they're brawling on the outside!!! The referee has lost complete control of this match!!! We have a 4 on 2 pier six brawl going on outside, and...
MCCOY: HERE COMES CROSS!!!
[Suddenly, Jack Cross came charging out of the back, hitting Napalm square in the middle of the back with a solid steel chair shot that resonated throughout the arena, taking him out and making it more of a 3 on 3 situation. The Authority and Darkness members were brawling tooth and nail on the outside, exchanging lefts and rights; Mace whipped Jack Cross into the ring steps, while Longshanks sent "The Devil's Own" Alex Constantine into the guardrail, while Jeremiah Blackwell and Adam-X continued to brawl, meanwhile, the referee had already started to count]
1...
2...
3...
4...
5...
PAGE: This is unbelievable!!! UNBELIEVABLE!!!
MCCOY: Wake up, Ripper!!! Blackwell!!!
[the count continues]
6...
7...
8...
[Kushner and Python both rose to their feet]
9...
10...
PAGE: And it looks like the Darkness have been counted out as the referee calls for the bell!!! This match is over!!!
MCCOY: NOOOOOOOOOO!!! Damn those Authority cheaters!!! Damn them!!!
[Python once again joined the fray with a huge running suicide plancha to the outside, taking Ripper Longshanks down to the floor, nailing him with a series of punches to the face. Jeff Kushner landed a baseball slide kick on Blackwell, as Mace and Adam-X double team on Jack Cross]
PAGE: This is absolute chaos!!! ABSOLUTE CHAOS!!!
MCCOY: The Darkness were robbed!!! This is a travesty, Eddie!!!
PAGE: Oh, cry me a river, Russell! Jeff Kushner and Python have won this match via countout, and they have advanced to the next round of the tag team tournement to crown the first ever CSWA Tag Team Championship, but we have completely lost control out here, they are still brawling out here and it is total carnage!!!
[Kushner grabs Blackwell by the hair and Irish whips him straight into the commentators table]
MCCOY: Don't do it, Jeff!!! DON'T DO IT!!!
[Kushner scoops Jeremiah Blackwell up and slams him right through the announce table, shattering the table into hundreds of pieces. The crowd is on its feet, and of course, Russell McCoy is terrified as Kushner grabs him by the scruff of the neck]
KUSHNER: How about that, Rusty??? Is that "making enough noise" for ya??? HUH??? IS IT???
MCCOY: Y...y...yes, sir.
[Kushner releases McCoy, obviously shaken up as he dusts himself off]
PAGE: Well, how about that, Russell?
MCCOY: Bah
PAGE: Folks, we have to take a commercial break, we'll be right back!
[Fade to commercial, advertising the Swiffer Wet Jet]