Come gather round and I will tell you of how the WP first began. Well, it was like everyother math class before, Mr. Salt* was lecturing and talking.. I think I was sleeping.. yeah I was having such a nice dream about.. anyways, Mr. Salt* started telling the class how women and men were never and will never be equal. Well, that woke me up! Mr. Salt* told the class about a group that he had started a few years ago. A "No Ma'am" group, dedicated to proving that men aren't dogs, but isn't that contradictory? So, Ninny* a classmate of mine who can always make the class laugh by showing his complete ignorance and stupidity, decideds that the "No Ma'ams" should be rebuilt. Ninny* gets all the boys in the class to join the group. The sign that means you belong to the No Ma'ams is holding the thumb and pinky up and the other three fingers down. Sort of like this:

So while all this was going on, Shelly*, decideds that women should fight back. She is the founder of the WP (well, I named it)Our symbol is the three middle fingers raised, sort of a reversal of the boy's symbol. It means W in sign language which is short for women, of course.


She selected a president and vice-president. I'm not quite sure who the president is, but D.C.* was the vice-president. Well, that was until I brought the WP into the sunlight and made it shine like the top of a bald guys head. I made some fliers and handed them out, now I'm proud to say I am the vice-president of the WP.

The fight is still going strong. Women vs. men as it may well always be. But in the end, you know who's gonna win right?

*all names changed to protect the ignorant

I'M GLAD I'M A WOMAN!

I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am
I don't live off of Budweiser, beer nuts and Spam
I don't brag to my buddies about my erections
I won't drive to Hell before I ask for directions
I don't get wasted at parties and act like a clown
and I know how to put the damned toilet seat down!
I won't grab your hooters, I won't pinch your butt
my belt buckle's not hidden beneath my beer gut
and I don't go around "readjusting" my crotch
or yell like Tarzan when my head-board gets a notch
I don't belch in public, I don't scratch my behind
I'm a woman you see -- I'm just not that kind!
I'm glad I'm a woman, I'm so glad I could sing
I don't have body hair like shag carpeting
It doesn't grow from my ears or cover my back
When I lean over you can't see 3 inches of crack
And what's on my head doesn't leave with my comb
I'll never buy a toupee to cover my dome
Or have a few hairs pulled from over the side
I'm a woman, you know -- I've got far too much pride!
And I honestly think its a privilege for me
to have these two boobs and squat when I pee
I don't live to play golf and shoot basketball
I don't swagger and spit like a Neanderthal
I won't tell you my wife just does not understand
stick my hand in my pocket to hide that gold band
or tell you a story to make you sigh and weep
then screw you, roll over and fall sound asleep!
Yes, I'm glad I'm a woman, a woman you see
you can forget all about that old penis envy
I don't long for male bonding, I don't cruise for chicks
join the Hair Club For Men, or think with my dick
I'm a woman by chance and I'm thankful it's true
I'm so glad I'm a woman and not a man like you!


OTHER AREAS ON THE SITE:
Reasons why women are more superior
Quotes about women approved by the WP
For a bit of history read 'The Seneca Falls Declaration of Sentiments and Resolutions'
(history of the Senaca Falls meetings coming soon)



Jokes that illustrate how better and more superior us Women are:
The Smarter Sex
The Genie
Wife's Last Word




OTHER PAGES RELATED TO WP!
AMMD Quite a scary homicidal page, but it has it's bad points too :)
Heartless Bitches International-Great, excellant, 4 stars. Very funny!
Modern Grrls-It's down for a bit but will be returning.
N.O.W.: The National Organization for Women-Informative and to the point.
WomensNet: an information resource for female activists.
Lilith Fair-The official site of the all woman concert festival tour



people are insane enough to actually visit this joke of a web page!
E-mail me if you have a problem with this web page, but I don't really care if you do!

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