Murphy works for the City of New York

This year, as I've written before, my goal is to obtain Irish citizenship. I've done the research, talked to relatives, sent in applications, paid lots of fees, and crossed my fingers.

I'm already getting discouraged.

The Irish Embasssy requires the long form of every document. The long form of a birth certificate, for instance, lists more than just your birth date, place, and mother and father's names. It lists your parents' places and dates of birth, as well as the hospital you were born in. It helps establish your lineage, unlike the info on a short form.

Fortunately all of my grandparents were married and died in New York City, so that makes things relatively easier. I needed to apply to Dublin for my grandfather's birth certificate.

For my paternal grandparents' marriage certificate, I went to the NYC Marriage Bureau Web site, which was quite helpful, or so I thought. I printed out the application, filled in the required information, and saw on the form that the fee was $10, plus $5 for a one-year search. I didn't understand what was meant by a one-year search, since I knew the exact date, so I didn't pay the extra 5 bucks. I assumed the fee applied for both the long and short forms since there was no information otherwise. I sent in my $10 money order and application. Two weeks later my application was returned to me. It seems it costs $35 for a long form. Doh! I had to get an additional money order for the difference and resend the application.

I also wanted to apply for the long form of my birth certificate, but nowhere on the Office of Vital Records site could I find instructions on how to request a long form. I decided to apply anyway, hoping to receive the long form. No such luck. I submitted a comment on the site asking how I could get a long form. About a week ago I got a letter asking me to return my short form in exchange for a long form.

On Saturday I opened the mail and found the long-form birth certificate--of someone else! It was a person born in the Bronx in the 1950s with a totally different name. The accompanying receipt was destined for that person, who lives in upstate New York. My first thought was panic. That meant someone else had my birth certificate. I called the phone number of the intended recipient and left a message for him. He called me back a few hours later. Seems he had exchanged his short form for a long form too, and he was getting his birth certificate for his son, who, like me, wanted to apply for Irish citizenship! So the bureaucracy had somehow inadvertently just mixed up two unrelated Irish people with the same goal. I'm still waiting to hear from him whether he received my birth certificate by mistake before I start panicking again. I mailed his certificate directly to him since the city seemed incapable of getting anything right.

I also received on Saturday a copy of my great-grandfather's certificate from Ireland. I had applied for it on the Irish Births Deaths Marriage site last Wednesday. Three days later it was in my mailbox. At least they sent me the correct certificate. But also enclosed was the death certificate of another, completely unrelated Irish person. Seems incompetence is a global problem.

Back to square one.