She stopped with one hand on the doorknob and leaned forward against the cold metal surface. "I'm not sorry Paul. You deserve this and much worse. If you do this kind of thing ever again you will learn of the punishment I had first decided. Jesse is the only thing that saved you from it this time. He begged for your life even offering his own. I don't know why."
Suneyva continued, still facing away from the small figure huddled on the floor. "The first time I ever saw Jesse he was being raped. He was a beautiful boy-child, abused and neglected in life, and I loved the strength he had hidden within himself to survive. I took him and I made him mine own. He still belongs to me."
She made a small, soft noise. "Years later he sacrificed himself for Julianna. To win her freedom and safety he gave into those who wished to use him. I was with him every morning of that year, holding him as he cried. I saw how he was sold, abused, and destroyed every night and I could not protect him. I could not even bring myself to ask him to protect himself." She whirled suddenly, kneeling by Paul. He flinched, but didn't have the strength to move away from her.
"Yet he begged for your life. On hands and knees he asked for mercy. Without dignity or hope that his love and devotion might be returned by you. Jesse made his sacrificial offering for your sake...because no matter how much you hurt him, no matter what you do to him or to others he loves you."
She stood again. "And if you hurt him like this again I will not stand by and watch. I will not dole out a punishment that creates a temporary hardship. I will destroy you." The blood on her hands was dry now and it cracked and flecked as she opened the door. Suneyva paused once more. "Jesse will clean you up and being you something to feed on."
Her flight from the zoological annex took her quickly to the house and away from her uncertainties. Jesse was waiting and though she was furious at Paul for his recent actions and behavior she was concerns about both boys. Her younger Childe was in the entry pacing in front of a dazed, but well groomed, young man. Jesse met her eyes with little problem, his questions silent.
"You can go to him now. The medical supplies are all ready. Take him to one of the clean areas and then when you finish bring him back to the house." She started to move past and he grabbed her arm tightly.
"Would you please look after Ben? I'm worried about him. I don't know what to do with him yet."
Suneyva nodded and smiled sadly. "You've picked up another stray. I'm glad." She kissed his forehead. "I will watch over him. We can have a conversation."
*
Jesse led his dazed companion into the annex without feeling any remorse. Even this was a lesson for Paul. The man would be his Childe's meal and example. Then he could help the healing begin.
Paul was curled up on his side in the middle of the room. The blood wasn't too disturbing though it did speckle every surface. The drain set in the floor was slicked with the remnants of the beating. he hadn't seen what Paul looked like yet. He pushed the young Kine inside. "I have something for you. Suneyva picked him out."
His Childe looked up and Jesse recoiled. "That bad, huh? I thought it might be, but I couldn't really tell. I'll have to check a mirror I guess." Paul sat up slowly, wincing. "She doesn't hold anything back does she."
"No. Not for this...you know how she feels about the kids in the city. You used to know how I felt about them too. You used to be one of them." Jesse knelt on the floor, pulling the Kine with him. "He did the same thing that you did. He raped one of those kids and Suneyva found him. He is your meal. Have him and then I can clean you up." He stood and left the room.
Paul waited for a few moments, staring after his Sire, before reaching for the Kine.
*
"What are you going to do with me?"
Suneyva turned to regard the boy quietly. He was just like Jesse had been. Beautiful and weak and so dependent. She took him into her arms for a moment. "I'm not really sure yet. I want to help you, but how I do that is up to you at this point. Paul has been punished and we don't want to push you out, but it will be difficult for the two of you. There are other options available. What do you want?"
"I don't know." His voice was muffled into her shoulder and he reluctantly wrapped his own scrawny arms around her. "I'm scared."
*
The cuts were swabbed carefully, and were already closing by the time Jesse finished with them. There was a small matter of a broken arm, but that too would heal within the next few hours or days. The blood of the Kine would help Paul recover from his punishment. Jesse knew that and he understood the gesture Suneyva had made with the offering.
"She doesn't hate you. She wants to, but she knows how I feel about you." Jesse wrapped a bandage around Paul, covering the bruised ribcage.
"Do you hate me now, Jesse? You should, you know. I deserve that." The voice was colder than he had known it could be. The eyes harder.
Jesse shook his head. "No. I don't think I could ever hate you. I just wish..." He turned away, finished with his work. They could go back to the house now, but neither moved for several minutes.
"What do you wish Jesse? That you never Embraced me? Never met me? It isn't too late. You can still be rid of me." He hopped off the examining table and left the room.
"No. I-" He reached out to his Childe. "I wish I knew what made you feel like this. I don't understand, Paul. You could have almost anything you wanted and it would be given freely. That you could take from those who are weak, and do it in such a brutal manner...I wonder what I did wrong. How did I fail you?"
Paul ignored him, walking swiftly to the main staircase in the entry. Jesse let him go without another comment. It didn't seem as if he would be getting any answers from his Childe. There was someone else he needed to take care of now. Suneyva would help with whatever needed to be done for both paul and Ben, and until that could be figured out more time would be wasted with empty words.
*
"The cabin is empty, and needs to be prepared for winter anyway. I'll take Paul with me and we'll stay for a month or two. If Ben would be taken care of here for a couple weeks I could try-" Jesse searched for the words. "I don't know exactly what to do with Paul, but if we were alone for a while maybe I could get him to talk to me."
Suneyva nodded. "I suppose I could take care of the boy. It isn't as if I have not done this before. You are sure about taking him to the cabin later? Won't he and Paul have problems being together?"
Jesse nodded. "They will be uncomfortable, but Ben doesn't really remember that it was Paul who attacked him. And I will be glad if Paul can feel some guilt. Maybe it will prevent him from attacking anyone like this again. I have a different worry though." He looked away from her. "I don't know how much to give to Ben. He has been trying to adopt me I think. I don't know what exactly he needs from me, but there is a dependency that I don't think I am strong enough to deal with."
She nodded slowly, "I think I understand. You relationship with Paul is first and you still love your Childe." She smiled. "My love for Julianna did not diminish when you were brought into our family. Accepting Ben doesn't mean that you have to give up anything in your relationship with Paul. You just need to decide how much you are willing to give to each of them and how much they will have to give to each other."
"I don't want to have to do this. I think I liked it better when you made my decisions for me. It hurt less." He stood and moved across the room, stopping at the low couch. The flicker of the fire played shadow games across the still figure, but Ben was deeply asleep. Jesse touched the boy's forehead briefly.
"Being dependent was not healthy for you Jesse. And pain is just as natural as the pleasure you can take from your independence. Just don't stop asking for help when you need it." She moved to the door. "Take the boy to your room when you go upstairs and talk to him before the morning. It needs to be done."
Jesse nodded, "I will." He knelt down by the couch, leaning across the boy for long moments before she finally left the room. Nothing had been cleared up and he was still scared. What Ben had to say would determine the next step between them.
*
Part Three
Part One
Story Links
Zoo Entrance