Journal

hoooh... been a long time since i last wrote. i don't even know if my site was still standing when i checked it our earlier. i really missed being able to put express my thoughts. since clerkship, i've been some sort of machine. can't even think coherently right now. i just can't bear the thought of looking through the site and not being able to put in at least one paragraph. so there, i'm still alive, just been in some sort of coma.

Never thought I'd say this but I just have too much going on in my life right now... I hope I can still have some time for this journal thingy but I probably won't put in as much entries as I used to... Sigh

Ok, having server problems again! So wasn't able to log in as much as i wanted to. Went out with an old friend earlier today (atess), one from way back in high school. Anyway, yesterday our class went to a mental hospital for clinical exposure. we got to interview a real mental patient. While reading Psych books, I always disregard the illnesses, thinking that they didn't exist here in the country. Now, going to the mental has proved me wrong. It was an enlightening experience, to say the least. Our patient was a Schizophrenic (remember "A Beautiful Mind"?). He appeared to be normal except that he hears voices inside his head and sees "Buddha", his nemesis (not normally seen by other people). There were a lot of funny things we encountered but in a way, it's also sad because if you think about it, these people were all previouly normal. And simply put, I cannot imagine what it would take for one to cross the boundary between reality and madness. Theoretically, we were all taught the possible causes of certain diseases. But none of them were definite, so I prefer to leave the field of Psychiatry alone (especially since i hate guesswork, intelligent though it may be). I also heard of a patient who was a zoophiliac (one who always has sex with animals), he was previously sexually abused by his mother. So from the start, there was already a defect. to think that you can prevent this sort of thing,well it makes it all the more sadder. also, the living conditions were really poor. i doubt they were better off than prisoners. if nothing else, the experience has enriched my knowledge in a more practical way.

Now that time seems aplenty for me... I am left with nothing to do. Guess I'm waiting for things to become clearer, waiting for answers that won't come. Oh well, this is one of those times where for me, sense is nonsense. If you can't get my drift, that's alright.

Finally! A reprieve has again been granted after another grueling week of examinations. Such is the life of a student, forever juggling their studies. Went to Alabang Town Center last night and watched League of Extraordinary Gentlemen". Love love Sean Connery. I'm definitely gonna add this to movie mania in a couple of days.

Was watching Kontrobersyal (not sure bout the spelling) earlier. I must say that I really find myself an unwilling admirer of the show because despite being hosted by a showbiz person, the credibility it presents to the people is undisputed. Besides, they feature topics that are not only relevant but would make you sit up and take notice. Like now, they talked about alcoholism. It is a threat that people are not really taking seriuosly because it's just a bit of "alcohol". Looking for oblivion and finding it, albeit temporarily, in the spirits. Where someday they themselves will lose their souls into this addiction. As for me, I admit I occasionally indulge in alcohol, but always with the awareness of stopping before going over the edge. besides, knowing first hand the effects it can wreak on the body, I would be the last person likely to overindulge in it. So whatever reasons we may have for drinking, we should hopefully still be responsible for ourselves.

Been really (as in really) busy these past couple of days, what with the exams and all. Plus been having problems with the server here at school (again) so have'nt been able to log in to yahoo... aaah! Can be frustrating sometimes. Exams will start in 15 minutes or so, and since i still have to cram a little more, I've got to go...

Don't have much time. Studying for the exams (again). Haven't been able to put in entries due to server problems. Been having trouble with yahoo for the past few days. Just frustrates me....

Can't think much right now... I feel as if my life force is slowly draining out of my body (wow, where'd that come from?). Ok since my mind seems to have gone to sleep without my body's knowledge, i guess i better go...

What a day! After a two hour exam where you spent the week-end studying, you suddenly realize that nothing seemed to have sunk in the recesses of your mind. If I'm lucky, which I really doubt, I might just come up to scratch by the skin of my teeth! As always, every time examinations come in, we are all taught a valuable lesson in humility. Just when you think that you were able to finally master a most perplexing subject, you find out you were absolutely wrong and that you know next to nothing about anything in life. As with everything, you eventually get used to it. Now with cases of the silent minority who not only managed to pass but excel as well, all I can say is they leave me in awe of their great abilities. Enough ranting. Let's just hope and pray for salvation (amen).