It's official! The coup is over!!!! Kinda funny what a protracted event that was. Oh well, I'm still happy because peace reigns the land again ^_^ I heard from a classmate that the "rebels" (for want of a better term) surrendered last night at around 10 pm. I wonder what will happen to them? They were terribly young, it's a waste how they chose to defend their principles. In addition, they made some heavy accusations against the present administration. Wow! Like how GMA (Gloria Macapagal Arroyo) was responsible for the bombings going on in Mindanao, the escape of Al Ghozi and so forth because they have plans of declaring Martial Law. That's a bit too much to take in. We'll see how things progress from here. Hopefully people won't repeat that mistake again.

1. DVD or VHS? DVD definitely
2. Best Literary/Movie Villan: Voldemort (Harry Potter) or Sauron (LoTR)? I guess it would have to be Voldemort because his presence can really be felt among the HP series.
3. Meat: rare or well-done? Well-done. I don't like blood on my food.
4. High Speed Internet-Cable or DSL? I havent had Cable, but I want to try it.
5. Women: 1-piece bathing suit or Bikini? When i finally have the body i want then it's a bikini for me. But until then, i'd have to make do with a one-piece bathing suit.
6. To be fair--Men: Boxers or briefs? No preference whatsoever
7. Beer or Liquor/Wine? Can I have both??? ^_^
8. Coke or Mountain Dew? Coke
9. In honor of my 10/18/03 nuptials: Morning or Afternoon/Night Wedding? I want my nuptials to be performed at night.
10. Carpet or Hardwood Floors Carpet for that comfy feeling
11. American cars or foreign? Not really sure bout this one because I don't know anything about cars
12. Cutest TV Twin: Mary-Kate or Ashley Olsen? They're twins!!! So both i guess
13. Coffee: Caffeinated or Decaf?What's the purpose of a decaf when what i'm looking for in a coffee is caffeine??
14. Thought-Provoking Question of the Week: Computers: Do they make life better or worse? Why? Computers definitely make our lives easier, and i think, better, but only if you know your limit. You shouldn't let it rule your life. After all, it has been able to keep families far away from each other connected, not to mention it has been a big help in long distance relationships. But, it has also been used for perversions and thus has been abused. So know when enough is enough (i know i need to cut back on my internet time!!! and i am working on it.)

Surprising, isn't it, how a lot can happen in the span of 24 hours? Imagine my shock when I woke up this morning and found out there's a coup d'etat going on in the country! From what I can understand, it started 5 am and they chose Oakwood!!! of all places to use as their camp of sorts. Oakwood is the business district in Makati. Obviously, this resulted to the chaos that's been ruling us right now. We're all suspended, waiting for 5 pm and see what happens. I'm not much into watching the news but I think the government gave the rebels until that time to surrender before they act. (Not sure of this ok?). Just hope everything is resolved soon. I'm not into war and I don't think anything will be solved by inciting a rebellion. I think what this army wants is a total overhaul of the government (according to the news) and for everyone in the government to hand in their resignation. Now, that is one impossible demand. Ah well, I think it's just plain stupid.

Imagine living in a deserted island. Yeah, it's such a cliche... Wondering what brought this on? I was watching "Return to the Blue Lagoon" earlier. It was actually a very scenic movie, I really loved the cinematography. To be honest, I don't think living like that would not be a total drag if I could have Ryan with me. It was just so serene, the total opposite of my life right now which redefines chaos. The beach was perfect. I know I'd probably die without the contact with the outside world, and without the little technological quirks I've taken for granted. But, I guess it wouldn't be half bad. I don't really understand why we sometimes feel this way, but it's probably because life is so complex in this time that you just want to bring back the times when everything was simpler. And where we were all a little happier. But, for all my complaints, I also think everything's worth it, just to get where I am right now.

School's been really hectic this week. Lots of reports to type and presentations to prepare for. I'm really beginning to know the meaning of stress. And to think this is nothing compared to clerkship. I want so much to work on the site and do some changes. But I guess it'll have to wait til later.

1. If your life were a movie, what would the title be?In the Making because that's how my life feels at the moment
2. What songs would be on the soundtrack Oliver James's Greatest Story Ever told, Duncan Sheik's Barely Breathing, Vertical Horizon's I'm Still Here, Jars of Clay, and acoustic songs.
3. Would it be a live-action film or animated? Why?I'd prefer a live-action film so it'd feel more real.
4. Casting: who would play you, members of your family, friends, etc? I've always loved Catherine Zeta Jone's looks, so I would probably love her to play me (as if I'm that gorgeous). For my brother, Josh Hartnett (my bro's really cute) and Drew Barrymore for my sis. Can't think of anyone to play my parents. But for ryan, it would be... Brad Pitt (haha)
5. Describe the movie preview/trailer.The preview would show life in med school... The hardships, the joys and the shattered illusions.

Went to a drinking party last night. We arrived late, so everyone was kind of drunk already when we got there. It's a bit funny how alcohol can rid a person of his inhibitions. Like it says in the quote, alcohol acts as a kind of truth serum where after enough amount has been ingested, people are more open and the mask that everyone wears momentarily slips. And then everything is back to normal again the next day.

If I were a patient in the hospital, I too would hate to be poked and prodded like some guinea pig to be taken advage of and experimented on. That's why it is so admirable how some patients are very "patient", so to speak. They cooperate to the best of their abilities and even act friendly towards you. Like this patient we had earlier, a 72 year old woman who suffered from stroke. Never mind that she was extremely weak and couldn't move her extremities too much, what's striking is that she smiles at people. I haven't even started examining her and yet she was already smiling at me, it was like being encouraged. With people like her, you can stay hours at her side and you wouldn't even notice the time. Wish we had more people like that. In defense of our noble course, I would like to point out that how else are we supposed to learn how to treat if we don't encounter patients up front? So in a way, I understand why we do what we do (also it's usually charity patients who get interviewed by us as a kind of compensation I guess)

The resplendent and restful week-end is almost at an end, and though I must admit I'm still feeling lazy about the prospect of school I also want to go back already as I don't have much to do here at home. Dad has reformatted the pc (again) and he still has plans of reformatting (yet again) because of some problems so basically I can't do much on the pc. guess I'll wait til next week to work on some changes I've planned for this site. The First Knight (Sean Connery and Richard Gere) is showing on axn channel. Haven't watched the whole movie yet, but I don't really like the story. Just too sad, watching Arthur losing Guinevere to Lancelot. I don't know why, but the concept of being unfaithful is a bit scary for me to grasp. I frequently avoid plots like that, I guess it's a sort of avoidance technique on my part because I'd hate for my ideals (what's left of it anyway) to be completely destroyed, revealing it for the illusion it was. There are times really when you know that people make mistakes and you know falling out of love is something we do not choose, and yet it happens anyway. Being in a stable relationship, the thought of that happening to you is really scary. I guess this is one fear I have yet to conquer.

My sis (angel) and I went to the mall today and watched Lizzie Mcguire the movie (more on this later). I like the song "what dreams are made of" (ballad version), it was cute. Pity it's so short (1:43 min). So, prompted by curiosity, I checked out the movie soundtrack to see who the artist was. Much to my frustration, "Paolo" (who played the leading actor opposite lizzie) was the artist listed there. And after much searching, the only thing I found out about Yani Gellman (yup that's his name) is that he's from Canada and he's also studying or something like that. I still don't know if he's the one who sang "what dreams..." Although, to be perfectly honest I think the soundtrack to the movie "What A Girl Wants" is much better. It has a lot of really great songs, alternative-pop sort of music that is. There's Oliver Jame's (who was not only Amanda Byne's leading man in the movie but was also a *gasp* singer) Greatest Story ever told and one other song i forgot the title to. And there's Duncan Sheik's "Half-Life" which is one GOOD song. Ok, enough about soundtracks, I just found out about American Idol's Kelly Clarkson. I don't watch the series so I really had no idea who she was. Anyway, I saw her video in MTV, and to my surprise, her song is quite good. It's "A Moment Like this." Really good one.

As we were watching the previews to the upcoming movies, I can't help but think about several things. Topic 1: cars and speed. I won't generalize it to men and their cars (although God knows they often think their cars are their girls...) I sometimes don't get what has people wanting to go over their speed limits. Is it some sort of rush, an adrenaline thing that makes you aware of your own mortality? The feeling of going faster than the rest of them? Or just plain having a death wish? Since I'm not really a car freak (sorry but I don't know a single thing about the latest models and what vintage or luxury is), I can't empathize with the feeling. But, lest you get the wrong idea, I do experience a kind of morbid fixation on seeing car chase on movies, how one attempts to overtake another, or how one blows up in flames or still how another escapes certain catastrophes by an inch. But, I don't relish the idea of being the one behind the wheel. It's ironic how according to the Discovery channel, man is not really made for cars and similar vehicles. I think it has something to do with having a blind spot in certain areas which can mean the difference between life and death (when driving) in certain accidents. So they concluded that a man can never "safely" drive, saying that we always have to be cautious. Obviously, race car drivers are not aware of this, so they continue on with their happy existence (what you don't know won't hurt you right?). Topic 2: CIA inspired movies. Last movie I saw about this one is "The Recruit" (starring Al Pacino Colin Farell). A new movie about this is "Basic". People are always so curious about the life of a spy or a secret agent. And what could be more secret than the CIA? I must admit, I myself am fascinated with this kind of life. Where everything has to be a secret. They say people who are cynical, guarded and who are emotionally incapable of sharing themselves with another, are the ones perfect for the CIA. Because it's a sure shot that they won't be doing any revelations. Which is sad. I mean, people like that are just incomplete and unhappy. Before I wax philosophical, I guess what keeps us watching movies like that are the technological gadgets and the brilliance of secret agents. Plus they're so good at manipulation. Topic 3: The War. I always thought that everything about wars has been squeezed out and made into a movie already or turned into some sort of profit. Absolutely not a drop has been spared. Boy, was I wrong. Another movie to be shown in the near future is again a war movie (albeit an Asian one). It's called "The Last Samurai", stars Tom Cruise. From the title, it can be inferred what type of movie it was. Since the setting looks like something from the past, I have no idea what Tom Cruise was doing there. Anyway, this (I'm referring to the movie genre and not Tom Cruise's movie) is the best of them all. The times of war were the most extra ordinary in the history of mankind. And though I would never wish for it to happen again, those are the stories that will always be bigger than fiction. Where men turn into heroes (remember ordinary men in exrtraordinary times?) and where the best in humanity (or the worst) is revealed. I don't think I will ever get tired of watching war movies (as long as they make sense and you can feel the richness of the history in it, but i must admit that I sometimes turn cynical about them. It's like, given the chance, i am convinced they can come up with a story about a man scratching his butt during world war II. And to top it off, they can make it appear noble too. That's commercialism for you. If i were to recall my favorite war movies, it would have to be "The Four Feathers", "Gangs of New York" (not exactly a war movie) and ooops forgot the other one. I'll try to remember the title later. Amazing what one can think of just by watching previews huh? Speaking of which, these are my must see movies: (1) Legally Blonde2, (2) Hollywood Homicide, (3) Basic, (4) View from the Top, (5) Bad Boys 2, (6) Tomb Raider 2, oh alright even (7) 2 Fast, 2 Furious. Anyway, can't remember the rest of them (isn't it obvious i want to see them all?)

Finally, another grueling week of exams are over and done with. I can't be any happier. I find it really frustrating that once Friday comes, you simply don't have any strength left to do any good in the exams. So the subjects that day (Surgery, Ophthalmology and Radiology) suffer. Don't know anymore how to pull my grades up in that area. I'll just be happy to pass...

Moving on to more pleasant topics, a friend of mine had her birthday yesterday (happy birthday Richie!). We ate at Gerry's (the food there's simply the best) in Alabang Town Center. Just a bit sad because I haven't been able to come with them to the movies. It's my dad, he arrived early to pick me up, so I went home ala-Cinderella. hehe.

Was talking with Ate Rhile the other day. One of her patients died (due to severe pneumonia). She was a bit sad, not only because the resident pediatrician gave them a scolding but also because she wasn't able to monitor the child early enough. (For those who don't know, the main duties of a clerk are to monitor the patient's heart rate, blood pressure, temperature and respiratory rate to see if the patient's condition is stable. The clerk does this every hour, or every 2 or 3 hours, depending on several factors). It's not that she forgot about the patient, she just had a lot of other patients at that time. So when she was about to monitor the child, a team was already there trying to revive the patient. A bit sad but unavoidable too. I think that's the hard part when you're a clerk, trying to do everything in so restricted a time. Oh well

It's exams week again for me. As always, I've been counting on liters of coffee to keep me up through the night. Hope I don't become addicted. It's my friend's birthday today and we went to her room super early this morning, like 2 am. I guess it was a kind of surprise thingy for her (although she already knows about the so-called surprise before hand). I don't want to delve too deeply on this because I still feel a little bad about what she did to me before. But for the sake of friendship, I'm trying so hard to get over this latest annoyance. Sigh... Can't really stay long because I still have to study. Tomorrow, i guess. Before I end this note however, let me rant a little more. Stupid server here in our school kept having problems with yahoo and as a consequence, i haven't been able to sign in with geocities and anything yahoo for the past couple of days. it was really frustrating especially since I also have an account at yahoo. thank god the problem's now over.

Finally, I submitted myself to the mercy of a critic. yep! Had my site reviewed, and don't even ask bout the score because it's not that high, but it's not because my site is hideous or something. Since I already know I have to improve the content of my site anyways (that's my main prob), I'm kinda cool with it too. At least I gained another person's perspective (If you want to read it, go to the links section, and look for the last one added way down the bottom. But i don't think she put up the review already). So anyway, I'm gonna start working on the content soon as the exams are over. But for now, I made a new section! Yeah, it's another one of those surverys, but please please please take it (it won't take long)! It's just about Charlie's Angels anyway, like who's your favorite. Want to see? go here.

Exams are coming up again, which means it's time for another forty eight hours of serious jam-packed cramming. i think my brain's kinda getting shrivelled up. Oh well. Been a really hectic week, and all I can say is I'll be glad when it's finally over.

As always, I'm still excited with This or That Tuesday...

1. Strawberries or blueberries?Strawberries!!! Love em love em love em.
2. "Legally Blonde 2" or "Terminator 3"?Didn't really like Terminator 1 2 or 3, so I guess i'd choose Legally blonde 2. Besides, love Reese Whitherspoon.
3. Hamburgers or hot dogs?Hmmmm? Choices, choices... Hamburgers.
4. Boating or hiking?Boating... but if it's with Ryan, whichever will do.
5. Suntan lotion or sunblock?I don't need a tan (hello! I'm brown), so it'd have to be sunblock.
6. "Big Brother" or "The Amazing Race"?Don't know the big brother, so I'll choose Amazing Race.
7. Beach Boys or Jimmy Buffett?You might think I'm corny, but I find Kokomo (Beach Boys) cute.
8. Grow your own produce or buy from supermarket/greengrocer/farm stand?Ideally I'd want to grow my own, but with the sched I have, I would most probably buy. Besides, I don't exactly have what you'd call a green thumb.
9. Drive with car windows/top down, or with air-conditioning on? If you live here (Phil) and see the pollution we have to deal with everyday, you'll choose air-conditioning hands down too like me.
10. Go away for vacation, or stay at home?Definitely go away for vacation. I have enough of home to last me a lifetime...

Lecturer didn't come to class today... although I did welcome the prospect of having an hour free for yourself, I just couldn't help thinking I would've gotten extra hours of sleep if I didn't come to school altogether. Sigh... oh well, at least there's the net. Exams are comin up again, guess I better get down to some serious studying.

We had this lecturer the other day... he was telling us about the "art" that is medicine. Who would've thought there's an art to healing? Before proceeding, I must warn you that this is another disillusionment to all the non-medical people out there. Anyway, he was teaching about sore eyes and other diseases of the eyes. As always, the talk went to vysine (you know, the eyedrops that relieve redness). He told us he didn't want us prescribing that to a patient, instead we were supposed to write Tetrahydrozoline (better check the spelling), which is if you don't know, the SAME drug. Yep, just written in a the generic name. I do understand the need for using the generic name, aside it being a rule, you can buy something cheaper (because leading brands pay for advertisement right? so if you're budget conscious, you can buy something that's essentially the same but in a different brand.... hope this is not too confusing). But his reason was plain and simple... to show the patient that you have medical knowledge beyond his understanding, therefore making him feel that it was worth it to consult you. Another point he made: you should not be using the term sore eyes, instead use conjunctivitis. Oh well, that's the idiosyncracy of med... You have to learn all the fancy terminologies. Whatev... I don't want to write anything that will devalue this noble profession more than it already is. So there.

Ok, another monsthsary for me and my baby (awww). We talked last night... bout nothin' much. I just miss him. Hope summer comes already (that's when he'll be back). Enough moaning already. For the UPDATES: Yep been a busy girl... I added a new section in Penned, it's Quick Fix, a recipe book sort of thingy. Also added some new stuff to the Reads section. If i forget anything, I'll just log in again later.

Went to the mall yesterday with my sis. Watched dumb and dumberer (still thinkin if i'm gonna add it on to the movie mania) and as you can expect the plot was dumb. oh well... more on it later. My self-control is gone, it vanished. Why you ask? Well, I just went on a spending spree yesterday (like i had lots to spend, aaargh), not to mention a food trip (diet gone to smithereens again). O_o Oh well. Later i guess...

UPDATES: Added Charlie's Angels 2 to the Movie Mania. And since I already finished reading book 5 of Harry Potter, there's a new BOOK OF THE MOMENT in Book Haven. Check them out. Oh, and I have a new link... it's Steph, check her out in the Links section

I'm still workin on the other stuff I'm gonna put up. Been downloading loads of mp3's... (sigh) I'm compiling some cd's for a classmate. We were supposed to be chillin at the mall, but I don't know if that's still on since sis seems to want to sleep. Oh well... I'm kind of overloaded with work but I've put them off for the weekend. Nothin' nice for me at the moment, I guess I'm stressed out. I'll check back again when I'm feelin a bit better, though I don't know when that'll be especially with the schedule i've got (not much free time you see).

I'm feeling dead tired and my eyes hurt from staring at the monitor for too long. so i think, i'll have to do the updates tomorrow. in the meantime...

FRIDAY FIVE

1. What were your favorite childhood stories?I loved the fairy tales (still do), the disney version obviously. Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Little Mermaid, Peter Pan, and everything else.
2. What books from your childhood would you like to share with [your] children?It's not really a book from childhood, but the story is great.. It's Harry Potter. Love it love it love it. can't wait for book 6.
3. Have you re-read any of those childhood stories and been surprised by anything? Ummm, I haven't re-read any of them but I do watch the movies, and it's kind of a comfort to know that those fairy tales will always be there for children who need them.
4. How old were you when you first learned to read? Not really sure, but I guess when i was 6 years old, at school.
5. Do you remember the first 'grown-up' book you read? How old were you?Well... let's see. The first book I've read (aside from archie comics and fairy tales) was the Sweet Valley Twins series when I was in grade school and that can hardly be considered grown up books. I guess it'd have to be the love stories I've read (the harlequin kind) when I was in high school, around 15 to 16 years old. Since then, I moved on to bigger stuff. :)

K, cant think right now but i wanted to do this friday five coz i really love to read. besides it's only recently that i discovered this stuff so im still excited

Summer Fun!

1. Lemonade or Ice Cold Beer? Ice cold beer...
2. Swimming pool or beach? Beach... Love the scenery, the sand, sun and skies
3. Long weekends here & there, or a 2-week vacation? 2 week vacation, like a one time big time thingy... so you can do all the stuff you want.
4. Destination: Acapulco or Hawaii? hawaii i guess. i'm not really all that familiar with acapulco.
5. Destination: Mountains or Beach? beach... love the sea and the scenes.
6. Hotel/motel/B&B or camping? hotel... what can beat luxury? but i think b&b also sounds nice
7. Carefully planned vacation, or play it by ear? since i have few enough vacations as it is, i'd like a somewhat planned vacation, but with lots of room for spontaneity (umm did i make sense?)
8. Sneakers or sandals? sandals.
9. Air-conditioning or fans? if you have any idea how hot it is in the phil, you'd choose air-conditioning hands down
10. Concerts in the park or baseball games? love music, so it'd have to be concerts in the park.
    

Finally! I saw Charlie's Angels 2 last night. I liked it (obviously). Anyway, I'll see when I can add it to movie mania. Moving on, our rotation for this week is in pediatrics, so that means interviewing the parents about the child's illness and physically examining squirming babies... And to add to the hardship, the history we had to take was really loooong. A lot of questions are asked, starting from the mother's history when she was pregnant, the baby's eating habits, his milestones (like when he started walking and stuff like that), his immunizations status and a lot more. I like babies and children (enough to consider it for my specialty), but I'm still not sure if I can handle the difficult patients. Like what we had earlier, the minute the baby saw us, he started screaming his little head off (no exaggeration) because according to his mom, he has phobia with people in white (like our uniforms). Fortunately, we were given another patient to interview. And the baby this time was nothing short of adorable. He did not cry or anything like that, just kept on looking at us. He was even smiling (awww), problem is the grandmother doesn't know much about the baby's illness. Oh well, can't have it all i guess. So there. Oh, and by the way, I finished reading Harry Potter. I think I'm gonna write about it one of these days. Needless to say, like all the other books in the HP series, I loved this one too. But book 4 remains to be my favorite book.

Finally, new lay-out's done!!!! It feels like I've been fixing kinks forever! Whew.... I wouldn't have changed the lay-out if it weren't for the fact that it takes a long time to load. Actually I have an entirely different lay-out in mind, but there simply wasn't enough time to draw, so it has to wait till maybe next month or the next... The weekend's almost over and I still haven't seen Charlie's Angels! Oh well, I hope tomorrow I can.

Yay! Finally, it's Thursday... I'm goin home tomorrow. Thank God yesterday's over. I was dead tired, when I got back from school (but as always, I was still able to watch mg... ^_^). I'm reading a book right now (yes, I managed to find enough time in between the stuff I'm doing) by John Grisham. It's the first one I've read and I'm not yet done, so I can't say if it's good. But so far, I like it. Know what? I find it so ironic that with all the stuff I'm doing right now, i still don't have a life. Yeah I know, it's precisely because I'm so busy that I don't have a life... whatever. Anyway, Charlie's Angels is finally showing in theaters, and you can bet I'm gonna watch it the first chance I get. It's not the plot I'm after, as anyone knows it doesn't have anything with depth in it. But I just love the concept of girl power (what girl wouldn't?) and Cameron, Drew and Lucy are all gorgeous. Plus, Demi Moore has been gone for a long time, so it would be interesting to watch her again. Anyway, I guess I'm looking for an eye feast. So there, a no-brainer. But I'm satisfied... Besides, it's a nice fantasy... you know, being a spy and having to fight with the bad guys without breaking a single nail and without your hair being messed up!

UPDATES:Added a new wallpaper, and 2 writings (look at the navigation. I'm also compiling the quotes I put up on every entry and started on doing a new section... reads (i've compiled forwarded emails I've received!). On a more positive note, Harry Potter book 5 has finally been released after two long years of waiting... My sister couldn't wait to get a copy so we bought one the other day... Haven't read it yet as I left it at the house (although i did get a head start already)

For the past couple of days, I've been RAVING about Oliver James. Great voice, great songs... Love them. You know the soundtrack to the movie "What A girl Wants"( more info??? See my movie mania section)? Anyway, I really loved the songs there, and I just found out that the actor who played opposite Amanda Bynes was also the same one who sang the songs (I thought he was lip-synching or something like that). Wow!!! And I couldn't hear enough of the songs (^_^) And he looked good too. Oh well...

After a grueling week of exams, I can finally kick back and relax (a bit). We (a couple of friends and I) went to this karaoke place in Cavite... It's actually a resort, in Island Cove. The place was cool (scenery was awesome), aside from having a pool (duh! that's why it's a resort)and the karaoke place we went to, they also have a sort of bar, a restaurant (guess it's fine dining), a fishery (? not sure what this one is) and a lot of other amenities I haven't explored yet. It was Jenny's birthday (pics to come later)... And although I was sort of hesitant to sing at first (because my voice isn't that great after all), I soon forgot all about my shyness and just belted out my frustrations with the rest of them. Had a really good time, and a lot of laughs. Can't remember when I had fun as much as I had last night.

2 exams down, 7 to go! Sigh.... I'm really having a hard time concentrating on anything these days. I'm feeling somewhat lost. Just glad I'm not the only one having a hard time. Guess I'll see what happens. I probably won't be able to write for the next few days (although at the rate I'm going, I wouldn't be surprised if I still check back here everyday). Signing off...

Independence day has come and gone, and I haven't noticed. Sorry for sounding unpatriotic, but being cooped up in the dorm the whole weekend without anything but a radio for company would make anyone feel isolated. I've been studying (at least trying to) for the week-long evaluations (yup it's for a whole week and we do this once a month) and I simply haven't enough time to notice what's been going on with the world outside. However, one can only take so much so I decided to have a little break and surf the net for a while (like two hours). As it happens, our beloved (am i being sarcastic?) president has decided to change the day that Indepence day will be celebrated, instead of June 12 Thursday, she very kindly gave us a three day weekend by moving the holiday yesterday. Anyway, that's all well and good for people like me, at least we've got the whole weekend free. But it's a bit bizarre, I mean who ever heard of adjusting the Independence day to the convenience of our schedule??? Oh well, as it's done, i won't ponder on it anymore (just hope she doesn't change the day of Christmas if it doesn't suit her ^_^).

Moving on, I finally got a copy of the school paper (which was released last April). And for the first time, I saw my name on print (woohoo!!!). I've always used writing as an outlet, but this is the first time I joined the official school publication, because I haven't had the opportunity before (?). Whatever... I'll just make sure I'm here to stay. Gotta get back to studying... later

Ok, sched's gone haywire.... Exams are comin up next week, and i still haven't started studying! Aaaargh!!!!! This week's a nightmare, I'm just happy to say I survived. There's just this one really memorable lecture for me. It was in Psychiatry (can you believe?). Anyway, I've mentioned this cool professor before, and I still say he's the best doctor in Psychiatry. Our lecture was about sexual disorders. Before starting, i think the class was humming with anticipation because Dr. Sison's last lecture was already really good, so we were really looking forward to this next one. and we weren't disappointed. His powerpoint presentation was filled with pictures from ads from magazines. Every now and then he takes time out to say something about the pictures (he even had some ads banned in other countries. have no idea where he got it). What really cracked the class up was trying to come up with local terms for the english words like vagina and penis and sex in a way that wouldn't sound too vulgar. I only just realized it when he told us that there weren't any filipino words for sexual terms like that. so doctors don't have any choice but to speak in english when it comes to sex. anyway, you would understand why we laughed if you understand tagalog so i can't share it with you. But that was one great lecture! ^_^ Also, we started doing our field work in community medicine. we go house to house to take a sort of survey... Under the scorching heat of the sun! We were assigned four households and we've only managed to interview one! the other two weren't home, so we have to come back (aaaargh! help). as for our wardwork, i think i'm gonna write something about that one of these days... check back for updates. i'm gonna add 3 more movies in movie mania...

ok... i have time only for a quick update! Did I say I added 2 movies in the movie mania section (Bruce almighty and Agent Cody Banks?) Just checking... Also, I have one new doll! She's Madz... (yeah I named her... call me crazy). Just check her out here

Not much to say, just wanted to show what my guy sent me thru email on our annversary (have no idea where he got it from, so sorry if i can't give credit where credit is due)... Anyway, isn't he adorable??? ^_^ (I'm getting tired of this smily... no variety. I think I'm gonna make my own graphics like angelic did in her site. Logging off...

LISTENING TO: John Gregory - Ride of Your Life
UPDATES: Added 3 new wallpapers (of F4 and meteor garden. Well, it's not that I'm obsessed, I just did this for a friend ^_^). And I made some banners, so if anyone would want to exchange banners, just contact me!

Didn't do anything much, I think my eyes are beginning to swell from being in front of the monitor for hours on end. Just made a new mailing list for my highschool class and joined a couple of cliques. I'm a little saddened because elite cliques don't want to accept sites on free servers, because of the ads. Although I would love to be hosted, I just don't think I'm ready to do that right now, it's too much hassle for me. Maybe someday when I'm more knowledgeable with html and stuff. For now, nothing elite for me I guess. Hohum... before I learned web design, I could never imagine I'd have fun just staying home and surfing the net. Now, I don't even want to go to the mall or anything like that, because it's only during the weekends that I can do all major updates on my site (I live in a dorm where there's no internet access except that in school).

Ever since school started, I've been having a major crisis (again!). I'm not really sure if I'm happy with being a med student or when the time comes, being a doctor. It all sounds simple really, quit if what you're doing isn't in your heart. But in this case, it's a lot more complicated. Like, what would you do if you've already invested 6 years of your life in it? I'm learning to appreciate it, but there are times when I get stuck in a rut (like right now). Couldn't concentrate on anything... I'm just a bit lucky because I'm slowly starting to get my drive back, but still there are doubts left on my mind. Oh well...

UPDATES:I added 2 new movies, Bruce Almighty and Agent Cody Banks. I have two more to add, maybe later this week (it's Pay It Forward and Two can Play that game). That's about it.

Yup! Today's the big day!!!! We're officially 6 years old. (Love you baby). Just talked with him earlier this day. Real glad... he called me up last night (around midnight i guess) to greet me, and I was already sleeping at that time, so I was kinda groggy (even thought i just dreamt it). I miss him so much. The past week when we had a fight, he called me up friday (he didn't have work that day) morning, around 6 am (it was 2 am in u.a.e. which was where he was) so he can wake me up for school. Gotta admit, i was touched. Just wanted to capture the feeling and seal it inside a glass where I can always take it out and experience it again whenever I'm down. Oh well... I'll have to wait 9 months before he gets here. "...across the desert like an arab man..." (sounds familiar?) Don't think I can talk about anything else, he's been on my mind the whole day, and I was floating all through out the day's lectures... guess I'll be contemplating for a while :)

COUNTDOWN:1 day to go before our anniversary. Yep, big day's tomorrow! But it's kinda sad, because we won't be together (he's workin abroad). The sacrifices I have to make... :( If you asked me about long distance-relationships a couple of years back, I would've said it's a no-no. My answer's still the same, but I guess there are some things you have to live with. It's really hard, and there are times when I just want to hide in a corner and cry. But if there's one thing I learned from all this, it's that no matter how much you thought you couldn't survive the hurt, there comes a time when you get used to it. I should know, we've been apart for 1 1/2 years. At first, I really CRIED, as in every night. You just couldn't help the feeling, especially after being together for years and years already. After about 6 months, things started to look up. You learn to cope and deal with what life dishes out. So here I am, still surviving (and waiting). Just hope we can get through the coming years together.

Wow, this has been one busy week... transcriptions to write, reports to finish... I'm really toxic. But in a way, I'm also happy. Because things are slowly getting back to normal. And I'm not feeling fed up with my studies anymore. Life just gets better and better. Nothing much to write about, as usual my day was consumed with activities all having to do with school. No time for social life, although I doubt I'd have one even if I did have time. Do I sound like I'm complaining??? Hope not... I'm quite satisfied with everything right now (especially since there's only 2 days left until our anniversary!!! Happy Anniversary baby ^_^). The other day, I was in the parlor... I watched Meteor Garden there... Everyone was lined up in front of the tv, and nobody was chatting or anything since we were all too absorbed with the series (yeah funny!). It got me to thinking about the idiosyncrasy of competing networks. Imagine, channel 7 also has an asian series of its own (haven't seen it yet. time constraints you know). I'm just relieved they haven't bought the rights to the second part of meteor garden and decided they're gonna show it at the same time slot as mg1. (Like channel 2 did with Betty La Fea.. heehee). Ooops, let's go back to school. I'm now finding out what clinical means. In our third year, the subjects are all "clinical", meaning every week almost every one of those subjects gives us a case to work on (where we give the diagnosis and treatment)... So that's like 4 cases a week, not to mention the integration case and the clinicopathologic conference (CPC) case we have to do once a month. So now, we're slowly being drowned in paper work! Help!

Stayed at the mall the whole day today, like from 1 to 10. Never realized I could have a headache from doing that. Watched two movies (yeah two!!!!), think I'm just about brain dead. hehe. Anyways, just wait for a couple of days, and I'm gonna add the two movies into movie mania. It's Bruce Almighty and Agent Cody Banks. Not much to tell, just spent the day walking around lookin at stuff. I'm pooped. Haven't even started on my manual yet. Accomplished:nothing.

UPDATES: Yay!!!! A new lay-out. Whew! This was a lot of hard work, because the font colors have to be changed and all that minor stuff... but I think it's all worth it. I think I have to make my next lay out a little longer. I added lots of stuff: 2 wallpapers (both featuring cameron diaz), a whole new section, PENNED which features my writings (about med life and one love story although that was not something new). Go check it out!!!! And finally, i can give credit where credit is due.^_^

Ok, I admit it, I'm a corny mushy mush girl... why else would I like meteor garden???? So there, I used a quote (though I'm not really sure about its accuracy. it was pretty long). Finally, another free weekend for me!!! Unfortunately, my sis (angel) has kindly and sweetly begged me to come with her to glorietta tomorrow so she can meet her friends. So, I'll most probably be spending the day (as in the whole damn day) just walking around or hangin by myself (sigh) and here I thought I can finally rest and spend the entire day in front of the iternet. Oh well... I'm starting to feel a little bit better. I think it may have something to do with the fact that my guy and I finally reached an agreement (after much arguing) on when he'll be coming back to the Philippines. Whatever the reason, I'm more than happy to leave my depression behind! I just hope I can finally buckle down and start on my reading (as in medical reading and not the paperbacks I so adore). Gotta go, still have lots to do!^_^

UPDATES. Added a new link... see links page. Find gelli! She's got one good site. (thanks for the exchange links!)

Have you ever had a day when you just can't focus on anything? Well for me, that day is today. Since this morning, my mind has been drifting. I'm not thinking of anything in particular, I just can't concentrate on the lectures. I don't even know if the lecturer was boring or it was just me, but I did not retain one single pearl of wisdom that has been taught by any one of the three doctors who lectured. I hate this day. I'm relieved classes are finally over. To think, the morning started out so great, because for the first time in days, the sun has decided to shine! Never mind that by 9 am, it was raining again, what's important is we had a few hours of good weather earlier today. Kinda having problems... but I think I'm holding up just fine.

(To give you an excerpt from my day today...) A conversation between jason (one of my pals) and me during this morning lecture (i translated it already). Anyways, we were talking about the past vacation and what have we been doing:
me: all we (my sis and me) have been doing this summer was to watch shows from the disney channel
jas: they have this movie... princess...
me: princess diaries??
(in the background, the lecturer's voice was droning on and on about anesthesia)
jas: no. her father's a prince but her mom was ordinary. then her grandmother came to visit..
me:(with a little shout) THAT'S PRINCESS DIARIES.. DUH
jas: oh??? i thought it was something else.
me: why? you watched it? (a chick flick a guy would voluntarily see? yeah right) you watch the disney channel too??? (the guy who knew nothing but action movies watches kid's channels??? this was just too much. i had to tease him)
jas: of course not! (was he sounding a bit defensive??? ^_^)
me:why don't you just say it? you do watch it! it's ok, disney channel's cute naman e.
jas: I SAID I DON'T WATCH IT!!! (hehehe, he was really getting angry)
me: ok fine. i don't see anything wrong with it. if you don't want to admit it, then don't
jas: .... (no reaction)
(by this time i was just laughing my head off....)
So there, nothing absolutely nothing was accomplisheD! (hope my dad's not reading)

Had another great day today, except for the downpour (which I'll probably get used to one of these days) and for a couple of boring lectures which I'll also get used too probably)... Our first lecturer was a pediatrician, a good one. He really knew his stuff, it was fascinating just listening to him. Anticipating the fact that I'll probably get sleepy during one of the lectures, I went ahead and had my coffee (I figured I'd rather overload on the caffeine than fall asleep in class)... Dr. Lintag (our lecturer) discussed respiratory problems in the newborn. Anyway, I guess what I really like about him is that he managed to convey the main idea to us mere students, without sounding as if he's speaking in a foreign language. He made it all sound basic... oh and another thing, he also brought a couple of x rays to show us what the disorders looked like. In radiology, they have specific terminologies to describe a disease (like ground glass appearance, white out and so forth) and when I look at x rays, I always feel lost.... I mean you don't really see things clearly there (just a couple of black and white shapes) so i could never figure out what was normal or not. But doc Lintag explained it all easily enough! So I was really satisfied. Today, we also had our second ward work, and I must admit we were improving. Unlike last week, where we didn't know the first thing to say to the patient, we proceeded smoothly with the interview and physical exam. Oh, there were a few confusions, but I think we're finally starting to get the hang of it! So, today was... productive.

It's been raining non stop since early morning. Normally, I would love this respite from the intense summer heat that's been present for the summer. (I can now say that the rainy season has officially started!) But it makes the 5 minute walk to school seem like an hour, water is trickling everywhere, mud gets splattered on your shoes and your clothes (read: our uniform is all white) not to mention the waterfalls i have to pass through on my way to the dorm (well, the water gushes through the stairs hence the term waterfall ^_^). Can be quite irritating I tell you. What is it with rain and sleep? Makes you want to miss class because of the cold atmosphere I guess... Just keep on thinking fortitude my dears. This morning, we had a couple of boring lectures (as always) on our minor subjects. Psychiatry was another thing, though. I know I've said often enough that I hate the subject... but we have this lecturer who was so lively (and effeminate ^_^)that I couldn't help but be riveted to the lecture. With a topic like psychological factors affecting a general medical condition (read: stressors that can affect a disease!), you'd think you'd fall asleep during the first ten minutes of class. Boy, was I wrong!!!! I don't exactly know how he managed to make the topic more interesting.. I guess it had something to do with his powerpoint presentation (lots of pictures of models in it, with a few comments here and there... like how faye dunaway has this personality trait common to actresses), or his way of talking with the class... like it was a REAL interaction and not just a discussion, but whatever it is it sure worked on me! Real great session... which is more than I can say for Medicine and Community Medicine. In Commed (community medicine), they taught us all about records, like registry of birth certificate, death certificate and fetal death certificate. You can just imagine how difficult it was for me to keep my eyes opened... Worst case was of course during the morning lecture in Med where the lecturer droned on and on about skin afflictions! As they say, you can't win them all.

I was so looking forward to updating some of my stuff... do some new dolls or wallpapers or whatever, when lo and behold... my pc crashed!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaaaaaarghhh. I was gonna save all my files on a cd (with a new lay out, which i spent 3 hours on) when the screen turned blue. Talk about being depressed. I can only go home once a week (and thus update also once a week), and it chose today of all days, to do this. Ok, I guess I'm ranting now. We've reinstalled windows, but paintshop has to wait til this afternoon...

23 May 2003
"When you come to the edge of all the light you have known
And are about to step out into the darkness
Faith is knowing one of two things will happen -
There will be something to stand on
Or you will be taught how to fly"
Finally! It's Friday already... I'm free for the weekend. Been a bit busy, we've been having classes for a week only, but it feels more like a month! I'm not really feeling perky at the moment, not in the mood to do much (least of all write). so i guess, i'll cut this one a little short.

p.s. (i'll rant for a while) We were supposed to meet our preceptor earlier (so he can ask us questions about our patient). We waited for like one and a half hours, until we thought of going to the med dept. Once there, they told us he'll meet us next week instead!!!!! aaaaaaargh.... i guess the good thing about it is that we didn't wait for 3 hours! (^_^)

20 May 2003
"Aging is not just decaying you know. It's growth. It's not just the negative that you're going to die, but more of the positive that you understand you're going to die and you live a better life because of it"
(Forgot where i got it ^_^)
Sigh... I am sooooooooo tired! It's only the second day of class and they've already given us ward work! We have to interview a patient, take his history examine him... etc... til we come up with our own diagnosis. We can usually ask some questions from clerks (4th year students), but since this is the first time we've done this, we really didn't know how we're going to proceed about it. Hope we can get better at it and soon! Lecture in surgery earlier was funny, our professor was always making jokes... and explains things in a way that will facilitate our comprehension. Wish there were more like him. He (our professor) even compared a hemorrhoid to a broccoli (ewwww). Hope tomorrow's a good day...

19 May 2003
"It is good to have an end to journey towards, but it is the journey that matters in the end."
-Discovery Channel (travel&adventure)
It is the first day of school! It's official, I now have a life outside of the internet... ^_^ Luckily, we weren't doing much of anything as of yet because it is only the first day. We had the usual, orientation to the subjects and so on. Oh, before i forget we did have a lecture already in Pediatrics and Psychiatry. I really do NOT like Psychiatry! It's like this, if you're a psychiatric patient, there is what you call a diagnostic tree. It has 4 axes... 1st axis is the psychiatric condition of the patient (schizophrenia or whatever), 2nd i think is the medical condition (if the patient has other diseases aside from the psychiatric condition), 3rd are the stressors... i forgot the 4th one. Anyway, it's just all so confusing! Talking about delusions and illusions (and how they differ), and everything mental makes me feel like a nutcase already. Whoo.. enough about that. As I am now living in my dorm, I can only use the internet in school (so goodbye to long hours of surfing)... I just hope i can still do a little net surfing for the next few days.

17 May 2003
"100 train tokens for the many many great rides of your life"
-Nelson, Sweet November
I've been contemplating... this is my last entry before I go back to Cavite where I will once again take up the tremendous task of studying for medicine. Oh, well... all for the good of mankind I guess. I will still have time to log in a couple of times a week of course, but I will probably update my works only once a week.

Been pigging out the last few days. Kinda forgot about my diet. I've been trying to jog a few nights a week to keep my body healthy (you know, for the usual reasons)... but I've been having a hard time with maintaining the regimen. It's not that I'm a health freak or anything, I guess I just want to see if I can improve myself some more.

For the past few days, I've been busy with reading all I can about Meteor Garden. i have of course mentioned this already but I've learned a lot more about it. The series here has only shown the first few episodes and yet I've read everything already including Meteor garden part II. Angel searched the net for episode summaries, and you can just imagine our shock when we found out meteor garden has a second part! speaking of angel, she's more obsessed about this series! she downloaded everything, including bloopers, the music video of the sound track, and some episodes (which doesn't even have english subtitles)... oops gotta go. i'll finish my thoughts later ^_^ have to go to the mall.

16 May 2003
"Great sex is great, but I want a melody I can sing to."
-Carrie, Sex and the City
I've been a scatterbrained ninny once again! I totally forgot that I was supposed to meet with my friends yesterday, I thought we were supposed to meet today (friday)! Aaaaargh! Another lost opportunity for me. Saddening, because I don't know when I can see them again. I went to Fairview yesterday to see rj. We just talked and talked for hours, so glad I got to see her again. But I never imagined how far her place would be, it's like we were at the opposite ends of the world. The journey was really tiring... And because my mind has been wandering yet again, I came up with something. Here goes
Rush Hour
It was 7 in the evening. I just got off the MRT at Ayala Avenue (which is, if you don�t know, the business district in Makati) and I then went on my way to find a bus bound for Bicutan (where I live). I noticed there were but a few people waiting for a ride, and even fewer buses which passed. So I walked on a little further, hoping that there would be a few more transport vehicles there. To my dismay (and shock), I saw dozens of people who were also waiting for a ride. They were a sea of faces littered on the streets, most of which occupy half the road, and still some of them standing on the �no loading zone�. As if my problems were not enough, I noticed out of 15 buses that passed, only one of them was on my way. Upon seeing the bus (with the thought that salvation has finally arrived), I was further surprised to see that there were 20 people along with me who also wanted to get on the bus, which by the way, only has 5 free seats left. You can just imagine how it was like, the crowd jostling and pushing one another in a bid to get on the bus while some passengers are fighting to get down. It can get a bit ugly� On this I learned a valuable lesson. And that is to stand in the middle, or as they say be in the thick of things. Never mind that every side of you body is squished, front back or sides, just remember that with all the pushing that happens, your body will be propelled towards the general area of the bus entrance, without a need for you to walk. Now that is one guaranteed ride! So there� after years and years of commuting, I finally learned the true meaning of rush hour

13 May 2003
"Love is an attachment to another self. Humor is a form of self-detachment-- a way of lookinga t one's existence, one's misfortune or one's discomfort. If you really love, if you really know how to laugh, the result is the same: you forget yourself."
-Claude Roy
First off, the updates. I�ve added two new dolls in the my works section. Check them out. In the movie mania, I�ve added 3 movies, �Heartbreakers�, �X-Men 2�, and a chipmunk movie. That�s about it. Ok, what�s next? I�m looking for sister sites or affiliates or whatever (what�s the diff?), so if anyone out there wants to exchange links, email me at [email protected].
Just a few more days and I�m gonna say hello to university again� oh well. At least I learned something this summer so all is not lost ^_^ I'm really raving about the series "Meteor Garden" (which by the way is Taiwanese, and not Japanese as I previously thought). The series is just soooo good! The story is really worth something, and it's all about college life. None of those telenovela-like plots. I can't even explain fully how I like it... The episode earlier left me breathless... whatever. Rj (my best gal friend) and I are gonna meet this coming thursday, and on friday, I'm meeting up with hs friends. Did I mention I'll also be going out on wed (for enrollment)? Finally, after a month of zero social life, my week's loaded. Can't wait to catch up on old times. Funny really how thinking of the past always leaves me a little bit sad, for all the friendships that have been lost.
Before I forget, the other day I got to talking with my sis... we didn't maintain any form of communication for more than a decade already, and I never really imagined I can have a chance to get to know her better. A while back, angel got to talk with her. I also wanted a chance to chat, but then again I didn't know how to start. Finally, we had an opportunity to talk. And I'm just so glad to know I've got her. For years, I always thought of myself as the eldest, the one who's most responsible. Now, just knowing I've got someone else who I can count on has eased some of the burden I've been carrying. The change wasn't anything tangible, but it's there just the same. Hopefully, even if we're a thousand miles apart, we can form bonds (as she says).

11 May 2003
"Everyone is an explorer. How could you possibly live your life looking at a door and not open it?"
-Robert D. Ballard

one day, i will be able to explore and go wherever i want to... i guess that's one of my biggest dreams, to go places. anyway, since i cant think of anything to say, i'll do one of the autograph thingy that's been circulating thtough emails... ^_^ Since it's kinda long, i'll do it in installment basis..
Getting to know you

• Ever been so drunk you blacked out: fortunately not yet.
• Missed school B/coz it was raining: before med, yes. but now, i can't afford to (i'm like 5 min away from school!duh)
• Put a body part on fire for amusement: i'm not pyromaniac
• Been hurt emotionally: hasn't everybody been hurt one time or another??
• Kept a secret from everyone: yes
• Had an imaginary friend: that's not a trend here in the country
• Cried during a Movie: yes! i'm a cry baby.
• Had a crush on a teacher: found attractive yes, crush i dont think so
• Ever thought an animated character was hot?: lotsa times, just watch Kenshin, Fushigi yuugi or Ayashi no ceres and you'll get my drift!
• Had a New Kids on the Block tape: nope, i dont even remember what they were like
• Been on stage: dunno, i forgot
• Cut your hair: yes, im always fooling around with my hair
  Guess that's about it (...to be continued)
  Hey my first ever blinkie!

  10 May 2003
  "Look not for beauty nor for the color of the skin, but look for a heart that is loyal within, for beauty fades and skin will grow old, but a heart that is loyal will never turn cold."
  
  Looking at the night sky, I was again struck by its beauty. The presence of stars matter not (although it does add beauty) for what affected me was the setting. The weather was just perfect, without the scorching heat of these past summer days or the humidity that usually comes with it. It suddenly struck me how much I wanted to be somewhere else (instead of at home) with my guy (ryan). Just to be with him is enough for me. Sitting around in a vast open area, or maybe walking along the beach... oh well, as usual I will have to save my dreams for another time. That's about it, nothing interesting ever happens during this particular time of the summer...

  8 May 2003
  "The reality of the other person lies not in what he reveals to you, but what he cannot reveal to you. Therefore, if you would understand him, listen not to what he says, but rather to what he does not say."
  -Kahil Gibran
  
  Trying so hard to define feelings and thoughts in an understandable manner. I�ve only 2 weeks of vacation left. Haven�t done anything worthwhile for the past month, just sat around and went on continuing a mediocre existence. Everything has fallen into a routine, and although I don�t usually see it as a negative thing, in this case I despise it. All I�ve been doing is glue my eyes on the tv or the computer, or if not another paperback. Sometimes it all makes me want to scream! It must be obvious by now that I don�t have a social life, and maybe that is why I�m feeling so restless. This period is like a limbo for me, where I hang suspended in nothingness, just floating, going wherever the current is pulling me. Oops, I better stop before I wax philosophical over my not so perfect life. Suffice it to say, that I have no direction at this particular time. You�d think I�d be ecstatic and squeeze all the fun out of each and every day of my vacation, but instead I�m already looking forward to the start of classes. I guess what I am, is frustrated, having to bide my time until I can finally stand on my own (financially speaking). I am always like this whenever I am reminded that I am already 22 years old and still studying, and in fact shall continue to do so for a couple more years. Best years of my life are passing me by and I�m not even noticing it. I�m whining I know, I just can�t help it sometimes. I want to be independent, but I guess that�s something I won�t be for a long time. I know I don�t really mean this but I sometimes wish that vacation doesn�t exist anymore so that the endless dragging of days will cease to exist. On the other hand, it is also the thought of a break that keeps me alive whenever final examinations are ravaging my mind. There�s just no satisfying me (^_^).

  7 May 2003
  QUOTE:"To gain what is worth having,
  It may be necessary to lose everything else."
  
  It's our monthsary yesterday (aww)... As usual, ryan didn't call me, but I'm sort of getting used to it. I guess these are the sacrifices we have to make, and I just have to understand that what he's doing is for our future. If you still haven't guessed by now, what I have is a long distance relationship. I haven't seen my guy for a year and a half already, and it just plain sucks. But at least, I'm sort of getting used to it already. And I'm just glad we're surviving. Anyway, backward chick that I am, it is only yesterday that I found out about dolls and doll making. I'm hoping I can make some (with the help of some tutorials from various sites) and I'll post it up as soon as I'm done. For now, this is the only thing I have been able to make. It's not that good as of yet, the face is kinda angular but I'm just so proud (^_^) It took me a whole day to make this, and I still have to practice practice and practice!

  5 May 2003
  QUOTE:"I may not have shown you the real love
  the way you wanted to,
  but I am happy to love you in the way
  I understand what love is.
  Some say it's a sin to love,
  I never did ask why.
  But if I sin loving you,
  I'll sin till I die."
  -(from Rurouni Kenshin)
  
  Can't think of anything to write about today, haven't done anything of interest lately. But I've been reading "Circle Of friends" (Maeve Binchy), the one which has been turned into a movie (starring Minnie Driver & Chris O Donell). Was quite good, actually but really really sad. I'm not yet done but I had a peek at the ending (^_^ always coudn't resist doing that). It's heart breaking. The story's about friendship (obviously)and betrayal. The main character is Benny (Bernadette). She's a big bulky girl, not attractive and soft-hearted. Although I've seen Maeve Binchy's work before, this is the first I've read because I wasn't really sure if I'll like her style. Back to the story, I was again struck by the cruelty of the world which relied too much on physical appearances. I never before imagined how hard it can be for girls like Benny. It also provided a new insight on men who seem to have it all, looks, intellect and a nice personality too. A guy who had hordes of girls running after him and who doesn't have to exert any effort at all. Now what would happen if this guy (Jack) and Benny fell in love with each other? The girl won right? But then again, from then on she will always have to wonder if she can keep Jack, if she can keep him contented (or keep him period). Life doesn't end with winning the prize, you have to work to keep it that way. Seems like more trouble than it's worth. And I don't think any woman will truly be happy in that kind of situation. It's like you can't be comfortable enough to let the person know the real you. Sigh... if that wasn't enough, you will also have to feel this constant fear of losing that man to someone who's more gorgeous, more nice, more everything. And to someone who cannot hold even a tiny claim to being pretty, this is a bit much to swallow. Woohoo, it's tiring me out just thinking about it all (^_^). On a much lighter note, I've been reacquainting myself with all the soaps here, be it mexican telenovelas or local ones. Keeps me amused for a while, but it gets boring always having to keep up with the story (really amazing how they can think of one crisis after another all falling on the protagonist. Oh well, I guess I can count myself lucky after seeing that). Now, there's a new series, I don't know if it's supposed to be a soap, but anyway what sets it apart is it's the first Asian (Japanese, I think) series to be shown here and translated into Filipino. Watched a bit of it, but I havent't yet decided if I like it. It's called Meteor Garden.

  3 May 2003
  QUOTE:�Med School provides perhaps the best substantiation for Charles Darwin�s theory of natural selection. For here we see in its cruelest form the survival of the fittest. Not the smartest, as one should expect. But the fittest to cope with the inhuman pressure, the demands made not only on the brain but on the psyche��
  -Erich Seagal (Doctors)
  
  I guess the quote written above is the mantra I live by during med school. It sort of helps me keep focused on my goals. Anyway, we (my parents & I) went to the mall (Glorietta) earlier this day. I was surprised at the changes, it must have been six months since the last time I've been there. The addition of booksale was the best for me. I'm crazy about that bookstore, because I can buy books for half the original prize (the only concession being they're second hand books). And that's important for someone who lives with a budget (^_^) Anyway, before you become convinced I'm a dork, let me just say I've added the Movie Mania section in on my mind. I've a lot of other stuff to add (later...)

  2 May 2003
  QUOTE: "`Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind. Nobody gets forgotten."
  -Nani (Lilo & Stitch)
  
  Woohoo... I've been having the hardest time uploading stuff. I guess that's the price you have to pay for free sites. Hmmm... as usual, I spent the day doing nothing interesting. This is the worst part of being on vacation, having nothing to do. My only compensation is in movies, I'm trying to see as much as possible. In connection with this, I'm gonna add a new section in on my mind, something called Movie Mania. I really don't have that much to say, I haven't even talked with my guy. Aaaargh... I think I'm going out of my mind!!! I really have to go malling or whatever sometime soon just to get my mind on other things!

  1 May 2003
  QUOTE of the day: �Courage is not the absence of fear. Rather, it is the judgment that something is more important than fear. The brave do not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all�
  �Mia�s dad (Princess diaries)
  
  I always said I wasn�t the type to do online journals, mainly because I�m not comfortable with the fact that my thoughts are so exposed to the whole web world (even if very few will get to read them). But then again, I also want to improve my website, so I thought I should be more open and try to make this thing work. So now, I�m really really gonna try putting all my thoughts into words. The quotes part is also something I added for the purpose of providing food for thought. Why this particular statement you ask? Well, because for most people (and me of course) getting over our fears is not always easy. Also there are circumstances where we simply have to forget about our fears because we have to stand by our beliefs. There, that�s about it. As for me, you could say that doing this journal is one way of getting over my fears of being exposed (^_^). Anyway, since it�s still my vacation, you can expect a lot of updates (notice the new lay out?? I just think Catherine Zeta-Jones is super gorgeous. For me, she�s the perfect picture for the term sultry beauty). Yesterday, we watched this movie Johnny English. It was hilarious, we were laughing during the whole movie. You can�t help but ask yourself if that level of stupidity is possible, especially for someone who is supposed to be a secret agent. For those who aren�t familiar with the movie (which is doubtful), Johnny English is a secret agent who doesn�t know the first thing about being a spy. They have this tag that goes something like �He is the secret agent even the secret service keep secret,� which is quite appropriate (^_^). What makes it even funnier is that Johnny English (Rowan Atkinson) is like a pompous English gentleman who speaks as if he knows everything, when in fact he knows nothing (teehee). The appearance of Natalie Imbruglia was also a pleasant surprise; she�s absolutely gorgeous (I think long hair suits her better). This is one of the movies that I can�t complain about, because I really liked it. If you ask me how my days are going, my answer would definitely be boring. There�s simply nothing to do, except surf the net, read my paperbacks and all my usual routine stuff. So for now, I don�t have anything to write about�

  27 April 2003
  Yawn� I just knew an online journal is really not me. But still, I guess I�m gonna try to log in as much as possible. For now, I�ve updated my family portraits section. I really think it�s worth a look (just so you can see my bro, who�s quite the hunk from what I hear). For now, I�m still thinking of stuff to put up in my web. For now, I�m practicing on making wallpapers featuring my favorite anime characters (I�m currently working on Kenshin). As soon as I think I�ve made something decent, you can check it out at on my mind.

  23 April 2003
  Yay! Finally, my website is almost done!!!! Thanks to my sis (ANGEL) who did most of the index, my site is almost up and running. thanks ge, err, angel. I'm still not done with the other parts, but hopefully in a few more days, I can upload it. Just check back here for updates. I'm not sure about logging in every day (as you're supposed to do in a journal), though. Anyway, hope you like it. And, if you have any comments, please sign my guestbook!

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