| Thursday January 9th 2003 More and more often, things that dwell uppermost in my mind are too personal to share here. I've made a promise - and will stick to it, to the letter - both to myself and those in my life not to share details of things that go on. I'd like to talk about my hopes and dreams for the future with LA, and to a certain extent I can do that here in general terms. But my mind dwells a lot on the details, and those are things best left private. By the look of things I'll be visiting her again this weekend, before taking a two week break from driving. If it weren't for the gas expense ... if it weren't such a long drive ... I'd be there every weekend, without exception. I try to pick ones when she isn't working as much, and I try to space them evenly apart. There's no fair way to do it that we both like, really, and inevitably on some weekends I have to say I can't go. I feel really bad about that, and sometimes I'm hard on myself about it. "Oh, it's not that far." "Oh, you're not that incapable of making that long drive alone again so soon." But it is, and sometimes I am. It's far enough and often dull enough, I just can't face it without an extra week's rest away from it, despite the reward waiting for me at the far end - cause there's no reward waiting on the way back, and driving away from her still hurts every time. Meanwhile, back in Ottawa ... I've acquired Mortal Kombat for my video game system, and at first it kind of turned my stomach. It's purposely violent in content - always has been, since the first game came out in 1993 - but with today's realistic graphics it's rougher than ever. After a while of playing it though, you come to realize they are still a bit cartoonish, really; and the fun of going to battle in a multiplayer game isn't to be denied. But an entire evening of it may explain the nasty dreams I had last night - ugh. Something or other about the plotline for Terminator 3 taking place in my living room ... bleah. I also picked up Quantum Redshift (thereby exceeding my alotted budget for video game purchases this month - bad boy, bad!), which was one I've kept an eye on for considerably longer. It's a futuristic racing game and I've always loved the genre. But, surprisingly, it doesn't live up to the level of entertainment I expected from it and for multiplayer it's almost ... boring. I'd rather go back to Rallisport Challenge any day. So, Mortal Kombat wins the contest. Now to contend with LA's claim she's going to kick my butt at it - time to practice... |