| Friday August 9th 2002 I could have been at a bar with a couple of friends right now, but I passed up this fabulous opportunity in favour of coming home to write an update. That's right - it's time for the Bar Rant I promised you. Where to begin? a) They're freakin noisy. Why does the music have to be so damn loud it makes your chest ache? If I see somebody I want to talk to, it's hopeless. I presume it's intended to drown out awkward silences. Unfortunately that's all there is, since it's impossible to hear what anybody's saying. Makes a whole lot of sense. b) I'm expected to drink. And once I make it very clear I don't drink, don't want to, no, not even if you're buying - then I'm expected to drive. I've got nothing against people who drink. People who drink and then puke in my van on the way home don't impress me. People who drink, puke in my van and invite me to the bar again impress me less. c) I'm expected to dance. I don't dance. Yes, I realize this means I will be single for life. I do like the music. I wiggle my toes. I tap a finger or two. That's all you get. Enjoy the show. d) Or I'm expected to sing kareoke. Sure I've imagined doing it, usually in the shower, but I''ve it turned it down enough times that most people don't ask anymore. They still ask if I want something to drink, though. I'm trying to figure this out. e) Suppose I meet an attractive young woman and we hit it off. Chances are she enjoys going to bars since, eureka, I met her in one. That's a bad thing. She probably likes dancing, too. And kareoke. And drinking. And puking in my van. f) A new excuse I can resort to: the bar is usually full of young crazy people who just graduated from highschool and act like they haven't yet. Maybe I'm just getting old - but I'm pretty sure I thought everyone around me was insane when I was that age myself. I suppose it's possible that some of them might be intelligent. I wouldn't know, since I can't hear anything they say (see item A above). g) There is just nothing fun about standing there, holding your beer, trying not to go deaf, and screaming at people to ask if they're having a good time. Everybody's dedicated their evening to dulling all their senses and zoning out worse than when watching tv. How couldn't they be having a good time?? :P |