| Tuesday August 6th 2002 I have, after due consideration, finally turned over a new leaf where my attitude toward romantic relationships is concerned. Let the web site record show that, after several months of going about it all wrong, I'm finally becoming more relaxed about it. I'm moving into 'just make lots of friends and don't stress about it' mode, which is where my head should have been at all along. It occurs to me that anyone who spends their every day devising new tactics for ending their single-dom has a life which smacks of desperation and isn't appreciating what they have. I went straight from living with my parents to living with my ex. I've never had this opportunity to live on my own as a free individual - so why not let it last a while? Most importantly, there's no tactic quite so guaranteed to leave you hooked up with the wrong person as determination to hook up with somebody - anybody. And no better way to leave yourself high and dry when Miss Right suddenly puts in a guest appearance, and you realize you were making due with Miss Not Bad because you were lonely and now you're feeling - stuck. Been there, done that, not doing it again. Women like the one I met at the theatre are worth waiting to meet. I can wait until luck strikes again. So what does this mean in terms of lifestyle? For one, it means less stress. I'm not sitting here alone in my apartment worried about the fact that I'm sitting here alone in my apartment. I kinda like it. I'm becoming convinced I really don't want to be arguing right now with somebody who's watching tv - or having to put up with the racket. Or wondering if I ought to call somebody. Or still be on the phone with somebody who won't leave off so I can go to bed. I'm not pretending I suddenly see nothing but downsides to relationships. I still want one. Relationships are great - with the right woman. But what I am seeing - more importantly, feeling - more clearly, finally, are the upsides to not having one. The freedom to know and hang out with all kinds of different people without worrying about who's getting jealous. I kept my ad on Quest, but switched it from 'Long-Term Relationship to 'Just Friends'. No presssure to do anything but be friendly. It still serves a purpose, of getting to know like-minded individuals who happen to be female. And if something happens, it happens. And if it doesn't, it doesn't. I knew it before. Now I feel it, too. |