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May 28, 1998
acceptance
I woke up today with the feeling that I would do well tomorrow at the Sinatra gig in Las Vegas. I guess I finally accepted it, you know, how people are supposed to go through a denial phase, then anger, etc. then finally acceptance? Well, I felt this way today, and for me, that's a big accomplishment and a good sign for tomorrow. Nothing much happened during the day. I did a bunch of errands and took care of some items in preparation for tomorrow's journey to Las Vegas and the Hard Rock Cafe. My wife is coming along, and she was able to get us plane tickets, and although it was last minute and the price was high, I think it was a good decision. I just didn't like the idea of traveling 6 hours by van, at least not this tiime around. We're going to stay at my parent's timeshare and that would save us some money and we wouldn't have to share with the other band members, being that the Hard Rock Cafe could only provide the band with 5 rooms, and that there are 10 of us and a few significant others coming along as well. My solos on Sing, Sing, Sing and Bugle Call Rag were well received, and on top of that, I was generally happy with my performances. As usual I received a lot of compliments AND, I was happy with my own playing tonight, which is a good sign for tomorrow. Some longtime fans of the band showed up tonight, and that was great. Warren, our lead singer did get some flack from the manager tonight about us playing at Schooner's last night, since Schooner's is just around the corner from the Catamaran, and that we supposedly are running the risk of diluting our audience. Hey, all I can say to that one is, it's just a gig. Most of us in the band are full-time musicians and this band is very popular right now, playing 5-6 times a week throughout Southern California. And, since this IS how we make our living, we need to generate enough income by playing as many venues as we can. We all have bills to pay. Warren our lead singer and band leader, and founding member of our band, Big Time Operator, accepted an award. Apparently, we were voted best band of the year at Croce's company picnic and the band received a check for $1,000.00. Boy, that really made my day, being that I've always loved playing there, we really seem to always draw our best, most enthusiastic crowds at Croce's. This was the acknowledgement I needed to satisfy my own self-doubt. I have a severe inferiority-complex. I don't know whether that's a good thing or not. It makes me want to excel, but it also makes me very hard on myself. But, after hearing about the award and the cash prize, it made me feel a sense of pride in belonging to something that, for the past year and a half, has been a pretty successful venture thus far.
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